Disclaimer - Usual.
Chapter 75
James was the first to arrive at Platform 9 and 3/4, though he figured that Remus was technically already there, having arrived with the train. He stood next to his parents, anxiously awaiting Sirius' arrival. He had not spoken to Sirius since the morning he saw him in the bathtub, which had caused James nearly to panic. Unfortunately, according to James' parents, the Ministry official who had investigated the Black house found nothing out of the ordinary – after all, a teen still in bed by mid-morning was hardly suspicious. Normally, James would be on the train by now, but his parents wanted to see Sirius for themselves.
Sirius arrived alone at the platform, which suited him just fine. His parents had given him permission to leave early, presumably so they wouldn't have to be seen with him in public.
"Oi, Pads, over hear," James called out.
Sirius grinned at his favorite family and dragged his trunk over to them. Before he got a chance to say anything, Mrs. Potter grabbed him and pulled him into a firm hug.
"Oh Sirius, dear. We were so worried," she said into his ear as she stroked the back of his head.
Pulling away some so he could look her in the eye, though he now stood a good ten centimeters taller than she, he muttered, "I'm fine, mum. Just tired."
But his eyes were glistening and Mrs. Potter wasn't fooled for a minute. She cupped his face in her hands so she could get a good look at him. "Charles, we can't let him go back there."
"Mum," Sirius said, trying to sound exasperated, "I'll be fine." He kissed the top of her head and pulled away. Then he shook Mr. Potter's hand in greeting and turned to James. "Prongs."
James noticed the slight blush on Sirius' face and figured he felt embarrassed, having had to receive help from someone. James rolled his eyes. "Idiot. Why didn't you contact me sooner?"
Sirius ducked his head and sighed. "James, not now. Please."
James frowned at Sirius' seriousness, but nodded. He gently punched Sirius on the arm. "Good to see you."
Sirius nodded back. "Shall we see if Remus is around?"
"Right. Good-bye Mum, Dad." Mr. Potter shook James and Sirius' hand one more time in parting and Mrs. Potter gave hugs and kisses to them before letting them depart. As they walked away, James nudged Sirius in the side. "You had them worried, mate." Sirius didn't reply or acknowledge the statement in any way.
They arrived at their usual compartment, stowed their trunks, and took a seat. Sirius looked out the window in time to watch his parents say goodbye to Regulus. "I'm not going back there."
James glanced out the window and frowned, not really sure what to say or do. "I'm sure my parents would let you stay with us."
Sirius smiled slightly at the thought. "Yeah," he whispered.
A minute later Peter arrived. "So how was your summer?" he asked.
Sirius just glanced at Peter and James didn't reply. He had actually had a really great summer until that last communication with Sirius, but he felt guilty for having such a good time when his best friend was obviously so miserable.
"Alrighty-then," Peter muttered. He sat down sullenly, glancing between his two friends.
After a few minutes of silence, Remus entered the compartment.
"Moony!" all three Marauders greeted him enthusiastically, looking for a distraction from the brooding mood that had settled in the compartment.
"Hey guys," Remus answered back.
"How was your summer?" Peter asked.
Remus frowned. "Yeah, about that… Look, Aden and I broke up." He was immediately interrupted by two "what's" and a curse. Continuing as if nothing had been said by the others, Remus said, "And I do not want you to even consider doing anything to her."
"Now why would we do that, eh?" Sirius asked suspiciously, squinting his eyes.
"Nothing. Just don't. I'll explain everything later. I have to do my duties and I didn't want you to find out from… someone else first."
"When exactly did this break-up occur?" James asked.
"And who broke up with whom?" Sirius added.
"I just said," Remus started frustratedly, but he took a breath and continued more calmly, though he enunciated every word carefully, "I will tell you later." Returning to his normal way of speaking, he said, "I have to go."
As he turned to leave, the other Marauders exchanged looks of confusion.
"Well," Sirius said. "This was just a swell summer for everyone, now wasn't it?"
"My summer was actually…" Peter shrank back from the daggers the other two were shooting at him. "… okay." James rolled his eyes and tsked when Peter finished his statement.
Just then Gillette, Patty and Stacey joined the guys in their compartment. Each of them was smiling and giggling cheerfully, having had enjoyable summers, and glad to be returning to school and their friends.
"So do we have the last three compartments again?" Gillette asked.
"Mmm," Sirius grinned and pulled Gillette to him, wrapping her in a hug, and then pulling her onto the seat next to him.
"Not this time," James answered.
The girls pouted. "Bummer," Stacey said. "I was looking forward to the train ride."
"Well, let's go find some people," James suggested. "Come on, Wormtail."
Peter grinned, glad to have something to do and something fun to look forward to. He had been afraid that the train ride was going to be either very boring or very depressing, or maybe even both. It wasn't that he didn't care about the woes of his friends, but he had been looking forward to returning to them and school and had been taken aback by the unexpectedly bad start of the year.
Everyone left the compartment except Sirius and Gillette, who were sitting comfortably on the seat, her back to his front. Gillette had initially tried to get up to join the others, expecting Sirius to follow, but instead he wrapped an arm around her waist and held her in place, so she leaned back into him. She had noticed, since they had become friends, that he always seemed a little more… clingy… right before and after trips home. She supposed it was a subconscious attempt to get all the things he lacked at home – love, attention, comfort, physical contact. And she let him take what he needed, because it filled some of those same voids for her. It wasn't that her family didn't love her, but being shuffled from house to house, between parents who each had new families in which they were immersed, sometimes left her feeling on the outside.
"What happened over the summer?" Gillette asked gently.
"Mm-mm. I don't want to talk about it." Gillette glanced back and saw that Sirius was sitting with his eyes closed, his head resting against the wall. He looked very tired and worn. "I'm rather content right now," he grinned. Sirius suddenly lifted his head and opened his eyes. "You're friends with Aden, right?"
"Sure, I guess. Why?"
"Did she tell you that she and Remus broke up?"
"What?! No."
"Hmmm." Sirius relaxed his head against the wall again, the rocking of the train lulling him to sleep. Though the directed nightmares had stopped, Sirius was now plagued by nightmares about the nightmares; and, in some ways, these were worse because he had no control over them and, as such, he still was not getting good, solid rest. "Speak to me."
Gillette chuckled. "About what?"
Sirius shrugged. "Tell me about your summer." So Gillette did. She told him about her holiday to Ireland, about Lily coming for a visit, about receiving her O.W.L. marks. She had managed to scrape enough "outstandings" and "exceeds expectations" together to get into the courses she needed for becoming a mediwizard.
It was only twenty minutes later that James, Peter and the girls came back, laughing and making a bit of a ruckus. They brought several other friends with them, including most of the Gryffindor quidditch team, Addison and his non-Gryffindor friends, and a few of the Hufflepuffs that Peter got along well with. In all, they needed four compartments to hold everyone. Patty had even managed to get her hands on a portable wizard radio, so they had music to add to the cacophony of noise at the back of the train.
James and Sirius provided most of the entertainment, at least whenever things threatened to die down. James was glad to see his friend having a good time, though Sirius was almost maniacal about keeping the party going.
It wasn't until after the great feast that the Marauders finally had a chance to sit down and talk with each other. The sixth-year girls were with them. The girls were all good friends, and Gillette and Sirius acted as the bridge between the two groups of friends, though James and Stacey also got along well since they were both on the quidditch team. Lily got along with Remus, as both had prefect responsibilities in common. She tended to remain aloof with James and Sirius, tutting and rolling her eyes at their misdeeds, though it didn't stop her from sticking around.
"So, Moony," Sirius prodded. "You promised to tell us what happened between you and Aden."
"Come on girls. I think the guys need 'guy time,'" Lily said making quotation marks with her fingers. Her tone was light, but the other girls knew better than to try to argue. Besides, she was probably right.
Gillette leaned over and whispered to Sirius, who nodded, and watched her walk away.
Once the girls had left, Remus explained what happened – the bare bones version. "Aden found out how to get into the Shack. She saw enough to become frightened…"
"Before or after you transformed," Sirius snarked, trying to lighten the situation.
Remus made a face and continued. "During, which is probably the only thing that saved her life." He paused for a moment, thinking about this, then shook himself back to the present conversation. "Anyway… it was all a bit overwhelming for her. Between that and the reality of what life would actually be like living with a… well…" Remus fell silent again.
"I'm sorry, mate," James said. Peter and Sirius both nodded in agreement.
"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Sirius asked.
"You wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. Besides, writing it in a letter… Just made it so…"
"Real?" James offered.
"Final," Sirius stated.
Remus nodded. "Besides, look who's talking about not sharing. Don't think I haven't noticed that you look like crap."
"Sirius Black never looks like crap," Sirius spoke haughtily of himself. "And I, at least, have the excuse that I wasn't allowed access to owls."
"But you had the mirror," James argued.
Sirius sighed. "You want to know what happened?" He looked at Remus and Peter, who didn't know anything about what went on. James really didn't know what happened either, other than what he saw through the mirror. "Basically, the hag found some way to… manipulate my dreams. So I'm running a little short on sleep."
The other Marauders stared at Sirius for a minute, expecting more of an explanation than that. When he didn't say anything else, James said, in an exasperated tone, "'Manipulate your dreams'? Padfoot, you were sitting in a bathtub full of water with your clothes on when you finally contacted me." Remus and Peter looked horrified at the possibility of Sirius being that off, and Sirius looked mortified that James had actually told the others about that. "And then like an idiot you tried to refuse help."
Sirius was looking down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact with the others. "So I wasn't exactly thinking clearly…"
"Sirius!" James yelled, startling the other teen, and causing the few students still in the common room to glance in their direction.
"What?" Sirius chuckled half-heartedly. "It's over now. It doesn't matter."
"And what are you going to do at Christmas?" James asked, his tone still angry.
Sirius shrugged. "Stay here, I guess. Or maybe go to my Uncle's."
"What about next summer?"
"I don't know," Sirius yelled back this time.
"All right," Remus jumped in, wanting the other two to calm down. "Look, we don't have to worry about that yet. The school year hasn't even started. I, for one, am beat. I say we go to bed. We're meeting with McGonagall tomorrow to confirm our classes for the N.E.W.T.s." Peter groaned at this. "It would be nice to be awake for that. Okay?"
"How did you guys do on your O.W.L.s?" Peter asked. He was afraid to find out, knowing that he did far worse than any of them.
"I met the Auror requirements," Sirius muttered, not really interested in the topic.
"Me, too," James responded, still frustrated at Sirius' stubbornness.
"And I met the requirements for curse-breaker. Not that it matters," Remus said in a rare show of pessimism.
James, Peter and Remus had gotten up to head to the dorm. James clapped a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Moony, don't think like that. You coming?" James had turned back to Sirius.
"In a few."
"Night, then," James said, and Sirius waved in response.
He lay back on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table in front of him, his eyes closed. Gillette walked behind the couch and around the side. When she got to the front of the couch, she noticed Sirius was smiling sleepily.
Sitting down next to him, copying his body position, she asked, "How did you know it was me?"
"Your perfume."
"Ahh," she replied. She sat up for a second so Sirius could slip his arm behind her.
"So, you were telling me about your summer," Sirius said. Gillette picked up her narrative where she had left off on the train. Sirius fell asleep pretty quickly and, once Gillette stopped talking, she also slipped into sleep.
She wasn't sure what time she woke up, or why at first, but as she lay where she was, knowing it was too early to actually get up yet, she listened to Sirius as he was lying next to her. She smiled to herself, but the smile quickly faded when he twitched. She opened her eyes and saw that he was breathing rapidly. He was obviously having a nightmare, and she wasn't sure if she should wake him or not. It didn't matter, though, because a second later he let out a grunt and jerked to a seated position. He planted his feet on the floor and rested his head in his hands.
Gillette leaned forward and put a hand on his back. "Sirius, are you all right?" she asked quietly. She could feel him shaking through his robe.
He didn't answer at first, which worried Gillette. When he finally did answer, it was a choked, "Yeah."
"Do you want to talk?"
"No."
She sat indecisively for a few seconds. "I'll be right back." She waited for Sirius to nod before leaving. Then she dashed up the stairs to the boys' dorm and entered the sixth-year dorm, hoping none of the guys slept in the buff. "Lumos," she whispered. She peered at the sleeping faces until she found who she was looking for. "James," she called in a hushed voice. When he didn't stir, she called him again and added a poke. "James."
James opened his eyes and, startled by the presence of a girl at his bedside, he sat bolt upright. "What?" James asked, barely in a whisper. He wasn't sure if he should be concerned or annoyed.
"It's Sirius."
Definitely concerned. Without requesting any more information, James stood up. Gillette suddenly looked away, and he realized he was in his boxers. "Sorry," he muttered, reaching for some clothes.
He and Gillette rushed back down the stairs. He was a little confused, because Sirius was just sitting on the couch. His back was to the stairs, but nothing seemed amiss. He glanced at Gillette who prodded him forward. They both approached the couch.
"Sirius… I got James. I'll… I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Sirius didn't look up and James noticed that he was wiping his eyes in a way that made it appear he had been crying. But Sirius didn't cry. James frowned and glanced at Gillette again. She shrugged, leaned over and kissed Sirius' head, then headed up to her own dorm.
James walked around the couch and took a seat next to Sirius. "What is it?"
Sirius slid to the floor, ensuring that his back remained facing James, unless James followed him to the floor. "It was just a nightmare. I don't know why she went to get you."
James thought his voice sounded suspiciously thick. He bumped Sirius' shoulder with his knee. "Maybe because she's smarter than you." When this failed to get a reaction, James did exactly what he knew Sirius wouldn't want. He slid to the floor next to him. "Talk to me, man. Please."
For once Sirius listened. He told James about the nightmares, the lack of sleep, the constant harping, but mostly the nightmares. He told James about his mother's reaction when he confronted her and about her reaction to the Ministry official stopping by. And he told James about the new nightmares. He paused every so often to compose himself. He couldn't figure out how he had ended the year last year on top of the world and then spiraled so far out of control. But now that he was back at school, things couldn't get any worse. He thought.
James could not remember ever hating anyone as much as he currently hated Sirius' family. Even Snivellus, who inspired such loathing, was at least good for a few laughs. "Come and live with us," James said once Sirius had talked himself quiet.
Sirius rested his head back on the couch he was still leaning against. "My parents would never allow it. They'd get your family in trouble… somehow."
"Your parents don't have to know where you went. Just leave. You heard my mum at the train station. I know she'd let you stay. Dad, too."
Sirius lifted his head and studied James' face. James was being completely sincere and had full confidence in his parents. He both loved and envied that trait in James – his absolute surety. Things were always so clear to James, so black-and-white. So Sirius grabbed hold of the hope that James' confidence inspired. "Yeah, okay," he said, smiling wholly, though tiredly, for possibly the first time since last year. "I have to get some things taken care of, but I'll come… if it's okay with your parents."
"I'm telling you it will be fine. Mum will be ecstatic. She calls you her 'lost son,' you know. The one who hasn't made it home yet." James grinned, though he suddenly felt bad because tears sprang into Sirius' eyes at that and he ducked his head. "Come on," James nudged Sirius with his elbow. "Let's get to bed. You get all girly when you're tired."
Sirius snickered. "Sirius Black does not get 'girly,'" he said and elbowed James back, a little harder than a nudge.
As the two got up and made their way toward the stairs, James commented, "You know, you really need to stop talking about yourself in third person." And James pushed Sirius. A shoving match ensued as they climbed the stairs, but ended quickly as neither wanted to awaken the other boys in the dorm. They both went to bed and Sirius got the first peaceful night's sleep he'd had in a long time.
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A/N- Thank you to all who take the time to review. And to those who add me to your story/author lists. That's awesome! Thank you also to my ever faithful betas - Mom, mei mei and J.A.Carlton.