The Dalish woman had finally given up, she really had- But she had one final plan to attempt to preserve her waning sanity, before she surrendered completely to her Antivan driven insanity and ran off to join the Darkspawn, that was.
"You're staying behind, Zevran." Laeti informed the Antivan bluntly across the smoldering embers of the dying campfire.
Wynne dropped a pan.
Alistair choked on his cheese.
Sten dropped his sword.
Oghren spat out his ale- directly into the face of Morrigan. The dark haired witch directed a vicious, seething glare towards the now incredibly sober dwarf. Smoke hissed off the drenched witch's features as Morrigan's sheer rage incited her magic.
"Run." She snarled, stepping forward a single pace intimidatingly.
The beserker (Who, mind you, has stood hundreds of battles against darkspawn and countless brawls with a very drunken, very pissed off wife) suddenly turned on his heel and dashed the other direction.
Zevran raised an amused eyebrow to Laeti's cloaked form indulgently. "Am I?" He inquired innocently from his perch upon the log beside the now raging fire, directing a look Laeti's way that read quite simply 'Oh, you silly little thing..'
"Yes," Laeti stood taller, attempting to reinforce her voice with the command that The Hero of Fereldon probably should have. "Yes, you are. You'll stay at the camp while I scout with Alistair, Morrigan- Unless she's burst into flames by then, and Wynne." Laeti ordered simply.
Zevran grinned charmingly, lifting his dual swords from their resting places against the log, and smoothly slid them into their sheaths tied across his back with a cocky look towards Laeti. "Is that so?" He mused in a tantalizingly delicious accent.
"You realize you have two mages, no?"
"No." Laeti answered simply before freezing abruptly, not particularly paying much attention to the noises that came out of his mouth, "Er," She stammered quickly, "I mean yes!"
"You realize that mages are fight AWAY from the battle, no?"
"No." Laeti answered quickly once again before stiffening with an embarressed red settling across her features. Damn that accent! "I mean yes! They're long distance fighters!"
"And, you are an archer."
"Yes!" Laeti grinned proudly; She actually CAUGHT that one!
"My dear Laeti- If you wish to have Alistair murdered, you need only ask.." Zevran trailed off with a cunning grin across his lips. "And I can do so much more tactfully than any Darkspawn."
Alistair leapt to his feet across the camp, "No! No murdering Alistair!" He insisted sternly. "I enjoy living, thank you. I've got a lot more stuff to do."
"What, like kiss a woman for the first time?" Zevran grinned, "Most accomplish that before the age of ten, Chantry Boy."
"WHO kisses a girl before the age of TEN?"
"Why, yours truly." Zevran flashed Alistair his most charming, smug grin.
"I walked into that one." Alistair lamented bitterly with a drawn sigh.
"I'm not trying to have Alistair murdered!" Laeti protested over their squabbling voices. Zevran grunted with effort as he lifted his weighted pack and slung it over his shoulder. "My dear Grey Warden, three ranged fighters, no matter how skilled they are- Are never going to amount to the same sized target as a templar."
"So no," Zevran smiled pleasantly, "You are NOT leaving me behind, my dear Grey Warden. Besides-" He shrugged his arms aimlessly, "What would I do at camp while you are away? I am an assassin- we do not twiddle our thumbs and prepare lunch for when you return- Our time is best spent fighting."
"Now then," Zevran strode down the path exiting the camp with wide, confident steps. "We were leaving, no?"
"No," Laeti argued, stumbling forward as she fought to keep pace with Zevran's slightly longer legs, "I mean yes! But you're not coming!"
"And why ever not?" Zevran glanced over in amusement as Laeti's foot caught the hem of her cloak, nearly sending her sprawling rather uncommandingly into the dirt.
"Because I can only bring three people with me at a time!" She argued firmly. Zevran paused for a long moment, his brow furrowing theatrically as Alistair, Wynne and Morrigan stalked towards the departing pair.
"That is foolish." Zevran laughed aloud as he took to stalking down the dirt path once more- Bluntly ignoring Laeti's continued protests three and a half paces behind HIM for once.
"You gave me your oath-"
"That I would serve you, yes."
"Then serve me by staying behind!"
"Mmmm.." He hummed aloud in theatric thought, "No." He concluded firmly as the party disappeared from view around a bend in the path, "My oath was to serve you-"
"Yes! Exactly!"
"That doesn't mean that I will serve you [i]unquestioningly[/i]." Zevran clarified as Bumu the mabari trouted after the party with a lolling tongue and a rancid stench.
Bank at camp, Oghren groaned pitiously from where he lay upon the damp soil- Smoke rising from his charred and remarkably bruised body. "Blightin' witch.." He grumbled soberly.
Lelianna directed an amused look downwards above the fallen dwarf, the corners of her sweet lips turned up in a smile, "If I'm not mistaken- They're leaving with our only healer; And Zevran's pack is the one with Laeti's collection of health potions in it."
"Heh," Oghren grinned upwards, "I can see up your skirt.."
"Maker above.."
OoOoOoOoOoOoOo
The scouting went well, however, about half way back to the camp Zevran found himself rather bored without a battle to have, and promptly chose to entertain himself by antagonizing Laeti.
"You know, my dear, you appear rather flexible.. I've seen you move in battle- And I must say that I am most impressed.." Zevran purred three and a half paces behind Laeti with an amused, flirtacious smile, "I would be remarkably more impressed if you joined me in my tent and-
Laeti's face turned a fiery red and she quickly dashed off the path, throwing a stammering, "I-I'm going hunting!" Over her shoulder before disappearing into the shadows of the forest lining the worn path.
Zevran grinned beneath his breath triumphantly, "And- There she goes!"
OoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Laeti was deep in the Brecilian passage, her ankles soaked and muddied from wading through a nearby creek, squishing disgustingly with every step- And she adored every instant. The air stank of mud, animals and damp fur- A winning combination that Laeti found herself appreciating with every deep breath inwards. It smelled- it sounded- it tasted like HOME. Tracing her fingertips down the intricately carved bow in her grip as she strode over a deer trail with silent, prowling footsteps, Laeti found a soft, easy smile falling over her lips for the first time since the entire endevour to save Fereldon started.
And for once, she honestly felt that lurking just behind a tree to her side rested Tamlen, mischeviously holding his breath and watching his footfalls for hours so he could leap from his perch and startle the redheaded Dalish into screaming like a child and spooking away any kill the pair could have hunted for miles- All so he could tease her relentlessly about the entire affair for weeks afterwards.
And it ALWAYS worked.
Here, Laeti breathed deeply, her eyes sliding shut in bliss, She could nearly forget how cruel the world was here.
Hot moans filled the night air-
-But she couldn't forget EVERYTHING, it seemed. She thought with a start, immediately beginning to derail such lust ridden imaginings with, well, the thoughts that SHOULD be filling her mind.
Small game was essentially useless to the growing party, not only did it incite numerous hungry bellies, no matter how many rabbits she caught, but it sparked an IMPRESSIVE number of complaints and bickering.
Desperately, Laeti leaned forwards, pressing her smaller body against Zevran's muscular one looming just above her as-
-Alistair always insisted on cooking the meat that Laeti hunted into a thick stew, adding various foraged mushrooms, berries and herbs to 'enhance' the flavor. After it became apparent, however, that he had an uncanny ability to locate only the most poisonous of such (Which was a feat, as Fereldon consisted of primarily edible berries, mushrooms and herbs.)- He was no longer allowed to scavenge.
Laeti arched her back, lifting her chest off the hard ground as a breathy moan left her throat-
And so, Laeti found herself tracking a rather large elk for the past hour- And ah, She smiled in satisfaction, here it was.. Just across the trail.. Crouching low to the ground silently, Laeti slid behind a fallen log smoothly as she evenly notched an arrow into the drawstring on her bow and drew the arrow to her cheek. Exhaling deeply, Laeti leveled the tip of the arrow towards the deer's open flank.
"-If you wish to bed me, you have only to ask." Zevran purred, his accented voice sending a shiver of pleasure down Laeti's neck. Her fingers slipped from the string dumbly, the arrow whistling through the air as it impalled the tree trunk beside the deer's tail with a solid, hearty thunk.
The noise of course, spooked the animal, who, OF COURSE, chose to trample through camp in its mad dash to escape said noise.
Laeti gawked dumbly as the deer knocked aside tents, scattered the fire pit's rocks and put a hoof through pretty much every piece of cheese Alistair had lying about (much to his rather loud dismay), before disappearing into the underbrush at the other edge of the camp.
Laeti hadn't realized how close she'd wandered towards the camp..
OoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Zevran looked past Oghren and his drull conversation bluntly, peering into the darkened forest at the edge of camp suspiciously as his fingers began to twitch towards the hilts of his dual blades, his senses heightening for battle.
Something startled the deer.
Expecting, assassins, mercenaries, or perhaps an odd mixture of the two to be lurking just outside the borders of the camp- Zevran felt a wide grin spill onto his features as he observed a far more amusing cause to the sudden disturbance.
Laeti stared at the camp blankly, her jaw dropped a solid inch, her hood theatrically sliding off of her long red hair in shock. The little beauty was crouched behind a fallen log, an arrow impaled into a tree knot deeply- The story of the entire event written across her shocked face. The little Dalish elf's pointed (And red to the tips) ears sank downwards with shock and embarrassment, unaware she was being watched, she gave an exasperation groan and slumped forwards, firmly planting her face into the fallen log in defeat.
Zevran fought to keep his laughter silent- He really did. His lips turned white under pressure he pressed them together, and his shoulders bobbed up and down with withheld laughter.
"What?!" The dwarf sputtered as he finally recovered from the initial shock of Zevran's off setting remark, his entire face a scorching red, and not, for once, because of the severe amount of alcohol he always drank fervently- As if believing himself to be The Great Alcohol Fish of Fereldon.
"Draw your weapon and say that again!" Oghren The Waist High demanded, spittle gathering around his gaping mouth.
Zevran threw his head back and bellowed a hearty laugh.
"I jest, my foul-smelling friend. You are only slightly more attractive to me than a slime-filled pool of swamp water." Zevran promised, completely truthful on the subject as the very thought had him nauseated.
Ugh. The thought of the thought had the same effect.
Oghren gave a grunt, swaying slightly as he snatched a flask from his belt and threw his head back (stumbling a bit at the sudden movement) to loudly gulp down a long, deep drink of the disgusting swill that always smelt like stagnant vomit, had the consistancy of rotten mud- and yet, the disgusting dwarf always insisted upon caring it on him. "Better be." He belched.
"You have my oath." Zevran swore, his eyes falling back to where Laeti remained idle, her face remaining planted firmly into the bark of the log in defeat. She wasn't even breathing.
It was.. Interesting that a mere word on his part could make the notorious archer miss her shot.
He wondered just what her reaction would have been had the phrase actually been directed to her!
"Bloody Antivans.." Oghren stomped furiously off- And Zevran supposed it might even have been intimidating, were the Alcoholic Fish not toppling over every five steps. Smoothly, Zevran folded his hands behind his back as a mischievous smile fell over his features as he slipped into the forested brush, and stalked towards the prone Dalish and her log.
She was gone by the time he got there.
Zevran exhaled disappointedly as he drew his off hand's blade, idly examining the gleaming metal for cracks or splits, Still, he thought with a smirk, She'd have to come back to camp sometime.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Laeti breathed out softly, leaning her head back against the rough bark of the tree at her back in humiliated exhaustion.
Completely unaware that the cause of her pounding heart rested just three and a half paces behind her- Standing just on the other side of the tree at her back.
Laeti knotted her fingers in Zevran's tangled hair, sighing deeply with pleasure-
-Those damn Antivans!