Jokes, Cliches, and Metaphors
Chapter Two: Philosophy Atrocity

Situation: Kenny's in the hospital, and Max, Ray, Tyson, Kai, and Hilary are in the hospital room (probably to make sure he didn't eat any of the hospital food). I think it's time they lightened up the mood.

Kenny reaches out for his laptop. "Must...work...need...Dizzi..."

Hilary slaps his hand with a nearby rolled-up newspapter. "No. You're here to rest."

Kenny withdraws his hand. "Aw, man..."

(Tyson) "This is boring! We need to do something. This is worse than last time!"

(Kai) "Your no-boredom philosophy doesn't work here, Tyson."

This gets Max to thinking..."Philosophies...Hey, you guys thinkin' wut I'm thinkin'?"

(A/N: That the little pink bunnies are secretly plotting to take over the world by inserting cotton balls in our ears while we sleep?)

(Tyson) "I think it's time for some new philosophies."

Hilary takes my normal state of mind: confusion. "What's going on?"

Ray is the one to answer. "It's kinda like a game. Here, I'll start. In the Sun Tzu Chinese art of warfare, know thine enemy, know thineself, and you shall win. If both sides think that way, you win alright. A kick in the -ss.

Hilary still doesn't get it.

(Tyson) "My go! One bad turn deserves another, and another, and another..." He keeps on going.

"Okkaaaaayyy..."

Tyson still continues.

"Uhhh..."

Kenny weakly tells them he wants to try.

(Ray) Sure, Chief, go ahead.

Tyson is still going on with his last phrase, but Kenny ignores this. "By law of retaliation, what one does to you, you may do to the one who did it. How can a dead person kill anyone?"

This was so lame, it even made Tyson shut up. "Not funny."

It is at this point that Hilary finally "gets it".

"You just now figured it out?" Tyson asks her, then goes back to repeating, "And another, and another..."

Kai slaps Tyson. "Shut up. We get it."

Hilary decides to get back at Tyson. "God made the rivers, God made the lakes, God made Tyson, but we all make mistakes."

(Tyson) "That was mean."

Hilary smiles in a smart-aleck way.

(Max) "I know one! Reduce the competition. Reuse middle school reports. Recycle the grades."

Of course, Kenny has a problem with this. "That's not right."

Tyson puts an arm on Max's shoulder. "Max doesn't have any moral standards."

Max brushes him off. "More than you!" comes the retort. The two get in a squabble, and Hilary sweatdrops.

"Come on, you guys!"

(Kai) "Leave them alone. They can't help it, the naive -beep-."

Ray gets back on-topic. "Find a penny, pick it up, then all day, you'll have...a penny!"

Max and Tyson stop fighting. "Where's a penny?"

Kai gives a semi-quote from 'As You Like It'. "'All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely actors. Hold on, I wasn't told of any play." All around him become hushed. Tyson is the first to speak up.

"Was that Kai actually trying to be funny?"

(A/N: Dang. Who knew the apocolypse could come so quickly?)

Hilary adds her two-cents, "Money isn't everything. It just buys it. Did I get it right, Kai?"

Before he has time to answer, Max says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me."

A few doctors enter the room and drag Max out, who goes kicking and screaming that he was kidding. All silently watch until the door closes. Ray gets up.

"Well...I think it's time we got going."

Hilary bids Kenny good-bye and Tyson gets a mischievous look in his eye. "I'll take good care of Max..."

(Ray) "Uh-oh."

Kai takes Tyson by the back of his shirt and drags him out of the room. "Someone needs to take care of you."

Everyone but Kenny leaves.

Kohari: Well, there's numbuh 2 for ya. I didn't expect6 reviews for the revision. Wow. Thank you so much, guys! I love you people! You so totally rock! I'll try to get chapter three revised ASAP n get it up before Christmas...j/k. I'll get it up b4 then. Have no worries. Until then, TTFN! (You gotta luv Tigger!)