Shawn

I stare at the bottle of whiskey in front of me, hoping it will take away my pain. Considering the fact that I've been staring for the last few hours, I don't think it's working. I don't feel any different. It still hurts. But I deserve it for what I did to her. How could I think that she would forgive me after lying to her for all those years? It won't surprise me at all when Lassie breaks down the door and shoots me in the face.

I deserve that too.

I keep hoping that she'll come back but with every hour that goes by, my hopes are slowly crushed. She doesn't want me anymore. How could she? I'm just the guy that lied to her for almost 7 years. Every detail from that night stands out in my crystal clear memory. I've never felt more cursed as my mind shows me Lassie-face dancing with his bride, my father laughing with Karen and Woody, flashbacks of the last 6 and a half years with Juliet, and my girlfriend's tears as she throws her drink at my face, all in perfect clarity.

Suddenly, Gus is in front of me, trying to pry the bottle out of my hands. "Shawn. Shawn! Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Kill myself? "What?"

"Do you realize how much you drank? I think it's time to put it away now."

"Why?"

"Because Juliet wouldn't want you to die of alcohol poisoning!"

"Gus, I lied to her."

"That doesn't mean she wants you to kill yourself, Shawn."

"Why not? I feel dead anyway?" A hand shoots out and smacks the back of my head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Did that feel like you were dead? I don't think so."

"That hurt."

"Well too bad. Come on." Gus pulls me to my feet.

"Where are we going?"

"You're going to bed. I'm going to stay here and get some sleep before I have to deal with your hangover in the morning."

I let my best friend drag me to my bedroom and push me down on my bed. I watch him leave and wait for the sound of the tv before I let myself break. Every tear I have been holding back for the last few hours pours from my eyes as I wait to pass out so I can take any reprieve I might be given from my broken heart.

Juliet

I hate it admit it but I do love Shawn. I'm still hopelessly in love with him and I hate that I'm hurting him. But he hurt me too. I'll be honest, I didn't believe him at first. I never believed in psychics until the polygraph test. I never expected him to pass and I certainly never expected him to say he loved me. It was a welcome surprise at the time.

But now. Now I don't know, I don't know if I can be with him after this. I don't think I'll tell Lassiter and Chief Vick but I'm not sure I can forgive him.

I try to get a head start on my paperwork as a distraction from him but Gus' voice starts playing over in my head.

"But no matter how much he loves Psych, he loves you more. If he had to choose, he would choose you every time."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't have any secrets that you kept from him."

"Shawn won't run. He'll go to prison because he hates himself for hurting you."

"I was protecting my best friend."

As I sit there, trying to paperwork with a voice in my head telling me I still love Shawn and I shouldn't expose his secret, I realize that the voice is right. I do love him and telling Carlton and Chief about him would only hurt him more. So I tell myself that I'll go see him after enough time has passed that I can see more than my anger.

I stand, grab my incomplete paperwork, and go to my car so I can go home and think things through. I have a better chance of finishing my reports at home anyway.