Well, this has certainly been better recieved than I'd hoped. Looks like my message is resonating.

A big thanks to my online friend Sue2 of The-3-Sueslayers and my real-life friend BlackWingedAngel1991 for taking the time to read my crappy high-handed yaoi parody!

On with the fic!

A Rough Start

"How are you qualified to judge yaoi fics anyway?" the girl questioned. "You stay as far away from yaoi as you can."

"You think I lack the spine to judge yaoi, hmm?" the teen sniggered.

"I don't get it," the girl said confusedly.

"Ah, it's nothing," the teen said dismissively. "Just a reference to a parody much better than this one."

"Whatever," the girl shrugged, bringing up the story she had been previously been working on.

The teen took one look at the screen and sank to the floor, his face turning a nasty shade of green.

"What's wrong?" the girl asked, looking down at the twitching teen.

"T-that was hardcore sex!" the teen stammered feebly. "You didn't tell me I'd have to read that!"

"It's yaoi, what did you expect?" the girl said scornfully.

"Right," the teen said resolutely, standing back up. "We definitely need some ground rules here. First off: no sex."

"No sex?!" the girl protested. "But that gets rid of over 3,500 of my stories!"

"How in the World That Never Was do you have over 3,000 stories of plain old sex?" the teen said disbelievingly.

"Simple!" the girl chirped. "Yaoi is funfunfun and cute, so it just comes to me naturally!"

The teen's eye twitched. "Don't…ever talk like that again," he said, backing up slightly. "It's creepy."

The girl pouted. "You're no fun at all."

"Given your standards of fun, I'm taking that as a compliment," the teen replied, peering over her shoulder and reading the story

Axel strode down the corridors, looking for Roxas. He found the blond reclining against a pillar.

Axel promptly flung himself against the younger Nobody. A makeout session ensued.

"Are you really starting the story with Axel and Roxas' public displays of affection?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"You didn't give them any reason to be in a relationship! How am I supposed to take the romance seriously when there's no motivation?"

"The reason's already there!"

"How?"

"Kingdom Hearts 2! The story makes it incredibly obvious that Axel and Roxas are lovers!"

"…You must be really confused, because I definitely don't remember anything like that in the story."

"The proof is in the cutscenes! Axel is willing to betray the Organization to get Roxas back! He's totally in love!"

"They could have just been best friends, you know. The game explicitly told players that they're friends. Several times. Whereas I can't see the basis for your argument in any of the cutscenes."

"That's what all the deniers say, but we know the truth!"

"Which is?"

"To the untrained eye, Axel and Roxas look like they're just best friends. We can see that they're really a couple."

"…Do you have a best friend?"

"Well, duh! Her name is Michelle! She's at camp right now. I really miss her."

"Did you happen to see her off to camp, by any chance?"

"Yeah, I waited for the bus with her."

"Did you say goodbye to her?"

"Of course! I gave her a big hug and told her I would miss her really bad. Where are you going with this?"

"By your logic, someone could look at you saying goodbye to Michelle and think, 'Hmm, they might look like best friends, but I can tell they're really lesbians!' See my point?"

"Eww! I'd never act like a lesbian! They're gross!"

"What?"

"Two girls…in a relationship…doing…stuff…it's so disgusting!"

"See, this is why guys can't get into yaoi. Our first reaction is exactly like that."

"How? Yaoi is adorable!"

"…"

"What?"

"And to think I once thought that the rise in yaoi meant people were becoming more tolerant of homosexuality."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean? I like gay people!"

"No, you like yaoi, which is just your sexual fetish. Any other kind of homosexuality disgusts you."

"Why shouldn't they disgust me? They're just wrong!"

"You said you liked gay people. You can't define 'gay people' as just the type of gays you happen to like."

"Well…uh…you do the same thing! You said yaoi disgusts you, so you obviously can't tolerate gay men!"

"Now hold on a minute. I said I didn't want to read about two men having sex. It's just not my thing. I never said I didn't respect gay men. You don't have to like something to respect it."

"You don't?"

"Sure! I don't read yaoi stories, but I respect them. Even if I'm not into it, I still recognize it as valid romance…that is, when characters aren't horribly mischaracterized just so yaoi can be made about them."

"So why can't you respect my story?"

"It's flawed, that's why! I can't respect a story with such glaring plot holes! You still haven't shown sufficient in-game support for the Axel/Roxas pairing."

"What should I do with my story, then?"

"Discard it or think of a better setup. Unless the characters display explicit romantic behavior in-game, such as caressing, kissing, saying I love you, etc., don't claim 'continuity' as your basis for a pairing. If the basis for your claim isn't immediately obvious, you're going to look like an idiot who hasn't even played the game. It'll seem like you're trying to shoehorn your pairing into established canon, making you unimaginative and immature in the eyes of readers."

"Fine. I'll get rid of it."

"Good. What's next?"

"I'm glad you asked! It's my high school AU!"

"Oh great…"

What do you think? Too preachy?

The reference I made here was to Those Lacking Spines, an excellent parody of nearly everything that's wrong with fanfiction that manages to remain remarkably in-universe. It's nothing like this fic; I'm way less subtle and my jokes are worse. Go read it; it's definately worth your time.

The line "yaoi is funfunfun and cute" is from an actual PM I got from a deranged yaoi fangirl. I couldn't make up disturbing prose like that if I tried.

I got a LOT off my chest in this chapter. Most of the topics I covered here really bother me.

The horror that is the high school yaoi awaits next chapter. It's a sickness.

REVIEW!