Valiant Hearts
Part 2/5: A Jedi/ A Warmonger/ A Broken Soldier
''Fear is natural, not a nature''
Everything was thrown into chaos
One wrong step she took, one price she has to pay.
Checkmate.
Everywhere she heard screaming, soon after, she can sense the inevitable death.
Death was around her, death was calling her name, death is coming.
She lay there, in the cold hard ground of the ongoing battle, helplessly watching men in white rushing pass her.
It was her first time, leading this forceforsaken war, and the last thing she heard was '' Ambush!''
Something in her was slipping away, she didn't sense it coming, aiming for her back.
And now death was wandering around her, her gaze blur, until a helmet came into the view.
And she felt her body was being lifted up, and dragged away.
Death was frowning….
Every face in her battalion beginning to slip away, as their force signatures beginning to fade away, until nothingness swallowed her mind.
In the blackness that covered her eyes, she still could hear the fading screams and the sound of explosion.
She was alive, but her battalion didn't.
It's like they are all vanished into thin air, with one strike, and they was gone.
And it was all her fault
And now she was being loaded into a transport, she was coming back.
Coming home, safe and sound, leave this war behind.
It was easy to say goodbye to death, even though death was not happy, it still let her go.
But left her scared, broken.
Every night, her commander judge her in her dream with a unhappy look on his face, he accused her for letting him behind, lying in the dirt waiting for himself to be rotten, accused her of being lucky.
Every night, she is a prisoner in her own dreams, standing and waiting for the final charges, their faces looking down at her with eyes of arrow, each one impaled her heart.
And waking up and found nothing but the loud silence of the night, and the quiet tears of her eyes.
Out there, it makes hell like a paradise.
But she wasn't going there anytime soon, but even if death let her go, memories still lingering on, the faces and the voices.
Jedi are Jedi, and she was one, but could she act like one?, emotions she couldn't hid, tears she couldn't shown, stories she couldn't tell.
She was granted a leave, a permanent one, she couldn't go back out there anymore, and another one took her place in the war.
The boy was only just only a young knight, just pass his trials, so many dreams he had hoped, so many battles for him to fought, so many glories for him to take.
But sadly, a bullet to the chest was enough to end all of his youthful dreams, as she was informed, he didn't lucky enough like her to walk out of there alive, and then, another one took his place.
What are they doing?
Keeping the peace?, keeping the Republic's ideas?
Or the Jedi are just the new form of warlords?
Leading the Republic to a glorious tomorrow…
At what cost?
Maybe time will tell, or until there is no one left to tell it.
The door to her quarter slips open, and a blue skinned woman like her walks in, a Pantoran.
''You are Jedi Knight Eliza?''
''My name is Riyo Chuchi, senator of Pantora''
The Jedi forced a smile, and wonder what a senator wants from her is.
''You have honored the goddess of Pantora, a worthy children of the goddess herself, you have fought the war, and survive...''
In the young senator's hands is a golden moon, with a blue fabric on top of it, and in the center of the moon resembling her home, is a star.
Pantora's Medal of Honor, awarded to the brave soldiers of Pantora during the moon's civil conflict, and now, it was for her.
Why did she deserve it?, she didn't do anything besides being lucky to come back, and now this?
She was about to speak, when the young senator do it for her.
''I know you are thinking you are not deserve it , Master Jedi, but please, accept it for your soldiers''
''Your defeat was never recorded, it never exist''
''They said your failure in the mission was to be kept secret, it will be a media disaster if anyone knew of it''
''I tried, but, all I can do, was to ask the chairman to give you this, I'm sorry, they said they have enough defeats to worry about, so there will be no more defeats for the Republic''
''They wanted the senate's hopes to approve a new war bill''
''I'm sorry…''
So, in the end, she had fought for…nothing?
It never exists, her men died for nothing.
She can't sleep every night because of nothing?
Every memory, every face, every voice she heard, every tear she shed… all for nothing?
Because they wanted more men to go out there, and die, again with nothing?
This is the Republic's definition of keeping the peace?
Eliza feels her knees weaken, and sat down to the cold floor, the medal in her hand gripping tight.
Riyo quietly leaving the room, knowing that she couldn't do anything more for her, it's painful for herself to say this to an already broken soldier.
Who have lost a part of herself somewhere, out there, where death keeps calling her name.
The medal in her hand, the edges of the star soaked with blue blood.
She sat down to the cold hard rock of the room of the thousand fountains, close her eyes, her minds deep in uncertain thoughts.
Something was calling her from somewhere, it keeps disturbing her.
She opens her eyes
And saw the ashes flying in the air, and the rotten smell lingering.
This was not the room of thousand fountains.
And he was standing there, right at the door leading to her.
And he ran from her, the man in white with a cyan skirt around his waist.
She quickly chases after him, pushing the ashes out of the way, pushing her fears away, trying to pursuit him.
Something was wrong.
She reach the door where he once stood, and down the hallway of twisted walls, there he stood pointing at something, not at her, but to a place she couldn't see.
And he ran, again, leaving the walls and the air to suffocate, leaving her fears to devour her.
Fading screaming in the distance, sound of explosion in the air, all seems too familiar.
Hallway that stretch endlessly without an end, companied with the grey and dying sunlight.
There is no light to where he was pointing, a door.
It was her own quarter, the door slid opens
Left with the bed rolls in the middle of the room, all around it was not the walls that surround her home, but it was there, the place she doesn't want to come back the most, place where death was frowning, but now she could hear his silent smile behind her back.
In the bed rolls sat a woman, with a blue and yellow pony tail behind her back, Eliza suddenly felt the coldness running down her back.
Apart from the screaming, she heard sobs and whispers, the Jedi came closer, with each step she took, a thought clouded her mind.
Sobs turn into laughs, tears turn into happiness.
The woman in front of her stood up, and slowly turns her face toward the frightened Jedi, her sickly yellow eyes met with her light yellow one.
''Hello, Eliza, or should I call you a coward?''
It creep a smile, her body felt limp.
''Look, this is familiar to you, oh the deaths, oh the tears, oh the bloods, and little Eliza couldn't do anything but weep''
It laughs, wickedly, and points a finger at the helpless Jedi.
''They all are dead, you left them to rot, and now you are nothing but a sad little Jedi who hate herself!''
The Jedi wants to run, but her legs refuse.
''Brave soldiers…brave soldiers…come…come die with me!'' And laugh, Like a witch it laugh like in some horror holo - vid Eliza was living in, this time her leg couldn't stop her from running.
''You can't run from me, Eliza, no matter where you go, I will always be there, waiting''
''I am you''
The door to exit her room was nowhere to be found, only the wicked laugh of the witch and her despair remain with the sight of this battlefield she was standing in.
''Let it devour you, let yourself be free, let them all go like you wanted, wanting right now, join me…''
''Yoda lied, there is no peace and tranquility, all are just a lie''
''Let me be your new beginning, together we could win this war, and no one could stop us''
''No more death, no more suffering, embrace me''
The witch closing the distance, but out of instinct, she force push her, and ran, she doesn't care if she doesn't escape, she doesn't care if she is stuck in her own head, this has to stop.
She closed her eyes, wishing for all of this to leave her alone.
He was the last thing she saw, and then the nothingness swallowed her whole.
A child taught to fear of hell, and hell was close, inside her own mind, invading her, whispering to her about powers, but she will not go down that way, her men had died for nothing, but at least they died for something, and that something wasn't their general turned into the enemy, the fought and die, but sadly was forgotten.
A heart that was so fragile, yet still strong enough to resist.
Reality welcome her back, and the sound of the water falling calm her down.
Maybe the witch was right, maybe Yoda had lied, maybe peace is just a joke, the war seems like endless, the Republic walks off the right path, the Jedi are just warmongers.
What have they become?, fought this war for the senate until only ashes of their sins remain.
And no one was there to comfort her, they don't allowed attachment.
Her friends were nowhere to be found, all busy fighting this endless war.
Even the padawans now, only at young ages were pushed to the frontline with a smile and excitement, only to come back to be cremated, or lost something of their own, a body part, or their sanity.
Their youth was gone, in one single battle.
And there is nothing that she could do, besides silently watching, and volunteer to help the healers in the healing wing of the temple, at least, she could comfort some of the Jedi there, instead of sitting and doing nothing but let her fear haunting her.
She doesn't care if no one ever tells her story, because it was a story about a coward who lucky enough to survive, and never go back out there again.
But she was a great listener, their dreams, their hopes of becoming a Jedi, then the disappointment of being injured, or lost something.
They talked about the Angri – corps, or just live a normal life.
Love stories, padawans' crushes.
War found its way to her home, but it never reach her, she live thorough the event, to see the war's end.
The count was dead; this was the beginning of the end.
But death wasn't so far away, he let her go once, and now he challenges her again.
One by one she listen to their screams, and one by one they fade away, cutting down by a red blade.
The sound of amour collide with the floor bouncing off the wall, coming close to the healing wing, maybe it found her after all, the Jedi are out of use, and so these men in white was standing before her pointing their blaster at her.
She can hear death calling her name once again, and he was smiling.
Fear is natural, not a nature.
She ignited her green saber.