Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. I am a disgustingly poor graduate student; please don't sue me.
Summary: Hino Rei was forced to grow up far too early. Now, she struggles to find happiness and love, and desperately wants to find a place where she fits with her peers. Becoming a Sailor Senshi has many ups and down, but can she, with the help of her friends, find the place where she truly belongs?
This Chapter: Seito Yamato muses about his granddaughter's childhood and the things that she has been through in her short life. Yuichirou tries to figure out Rei's different moods while constantly being as good of a friend as he can be. A fake Sailor Moon is running around the city, much to Usagi's dismay. The girls battle with Kunzite and finally reunite with Sailor Venus. Makoto and Rei have a heart to heart in which revelations are made.
Warnings (this chapter): None really. There are some lame battle scene writing and a depressed Rei talking about her past with Makoto. No big deal.
AN: What? An update from me in less than a month? I must be sick or something…oh wait, I am! :) Please read and review!
This chapter takes place during episode 33 (29 in the dub): The Last Sailor Warrior! Sailor Venus Appears (Sailor V Makes the Scene).
.O.
Esprit d'Incendie
A Sailor Moon Fanfiction
By: Flutterby Ashes
Chapter 2: An Open Heart
.O.
"Yuichirou, you idiot! The veranda is filthy! No one's going to want to come to a shrine when you let it look this decrepit and dirty!"
Seito Yamato sighed, listening to his granddaughter snap at his apprentice for about the eighth time that afternoon. 'She must have ended things with that boy; she's been in a foul mood since she got home from school,' he mused. Not for the first time, he wished that his daughter, Risa, were still alive. She'd always been gifted at making people forget their problems and feel at ease. He wondered if he was to blame for Rei's emotional complexities, but he shrugged it off; he'd done the best he could at raising her, and he knew that he hadn't done a terrible job. 'Still though,' he thought, 'I wish she'd grown up more normally. Then maybe she'd be as carefree and happy as her friends.'
He could hear Yuichirou stammer out an apology, the tone of his voice making it evident that he was surprised by her mood as well. He wondered what the fire had shown her. He could never see anything in the fire like she could; he only ever heard voices. At first, he'd been jealous at her ability to read the fire at such a young age, for he had tried for years to be as skilled at it as she was during her first attempt. He knew though, that some people were born with the ability, and it was now a trait of hers that he was quite proud of. He worried sometimes; she would occasionally get premonitions that she couldn't understand, and she would obsess over them, spending many sleepless nights trying to read the fire to find her answers. She always put too much pressure on herself.
He knew if he asked her why she took so many advanced classes that she would smile lightly, saying that her father was the one who set her schedule, and shouldn't you know that, you crazy old man? But, if he asked her why she worked so much harder in those classes, she would go quiet, her eyes seeming to look far away. He knew that she wanted her father to see her high marks in those classes, because maybe then he would call to congratulate her, or offer to take her out to lunch for a reason not on his political agenda.
He growled quietly. He hated that man, Hino Takashi, who had swept in and stolen his daughter from him with his empty promises of love and adoration. His daughter had been diligent in her schoolwork and in her studies to be a Shinto priestess. Then Takashi had met her, and, entranced by her beauty, pursued her until she relented and began to date him. Somehow, she'd fallen in love with him, and without a glance back she left all of her dreams behind.
Well, all of them except one.
Risa had always spoken of having a large family. She'd wanted to be a priestess and an adoring mother, saying once that she'd wanted at least five children. He'd laughed at her then, telling her she'd be done after one, but she held true. Takashi didn't want children, but he'd wanted his beautiful wife, so he'd agreed that they could have one. Rei had been born, and Takashi had been practically livid that she hadn't given him a son.
Yamato sighed; that man had probably detested Rei from the moment she was born.
He had been devastated by the accidental death of his daughter, even more so knowing that it had happened at the shrine, and that Rei had seen everything. The image his five year old granddaughter, rushing into the fire room, the bottom of her Christmas dress soaked from the snow outside, her mother's blood staining her hands and the chest of her dress popped into his mind, and he quickly shook his head to clear the haunting image. Three months later, when they finally made the decision to take her off of life support, Takashi had gone into a tailspin of rage. He vividly remembered that day. A short while after he'd returned to the shrine from the hospital, Takashi had arrive, dragging a crying Rei up the steps and literally tossing her to the ground in front of him, telling the old man that he couldn't bear to look at the girl who killed his wife any longer. He could still hear Rei screaming after her father, begging him not to leave her, telling him that she was so, so sorry.
The girl did bear a striking resemblance to her mother, even more so now that she was older. She had her mother's wide, sparkling amethyst eyes and jet black hair, but the straightness of her hair had come from her father; Risa's hair had always fallen in soft curls. Yamato suspected that the reason Takashi, even now, couldn't stand to look at his daughter was because her reminded him so much of his departed wife. It still wasn't fair to her.
The thing that angered him most about Takashi was the fact that he still blamed Rei for Risa's death, but Yamato knew it had been an accident. It was Christmas day, and, against Takashi's wishes, Risa had brought Rei to the shrine to visit her grandfather. Rei had wanted to go; she loved the shrine and she enjoyed all of the time she spent with her grandfather, though it wasn't often that Takashi allowed them to go. It had snowed heavily the night before, and there was a lot of ice on the pathways, despite his best efforts to clear them. Rei had asked her mother if they could play in the snow, and she'd happily agreed. She'd asked him to come along too, and he'd promised that he would once he finished cleaning up from their tea.
She'd slipped while they were playing, and she'd fallen backwards, hitting the back of her head against a rock that had been obscured by the snow. The impact had broken her neck just below her skull and gashed her scalp open, leaving a stain of blood on the pristine white snow. They'd taken her to the hospital immediately, but it was too late. They kept her body alive with machines, and Takashi had held out hope that one day the doctors would register some brain activity on the monitors, but that day never came.
Rei had stayed with her father after the accident, and to this day he wondered how Takashi had treated her. The day he'd abandoned her at the temple, she'd had bruises on her arms and legs, some of them old and others were new. He'd never asked her where they came from, and she'd never volunteered the information.
For the first five years that she'd lived with him, her father had sent child support checks. Yamato never used them, refusing to take money from the man he had grown to detest, and instead tucked them away into a trust fund for when Rei was older. As it was now, there was more than enough money in there to send her to college and live comfortably for the rest of her life. He didn't know what she would chose to do with it, or if she would even accept it, knowing that it came from him.
They didn't hear from Takashi for those five years, but everything changed when he ran for congress. He was running on a pro-family platform, and once the media discovered that he had a child of his own, he decided to use her to his advantage. He claimed that he had sent her off to live with her grandfather because she wanted to follow him into the priesthood, playing the adoring, supportive father in a way that had sickened him. He enrolled Rei into the TA Girls Academy, the most prestigious and rigorous school in Tokyo, showing the masses that he believed in a quality education for his child.
The worst were the monthly lunch meetings.
At first, Rei was delighted in finally receiving attention from her father. At the lunches, which were always in public places that the news crews always found out about, he would practically smother her with attention, smiling and laughing with her the entire time. Once they were alone, however, he was cold and distant, often not speaking to her at all. She hadn't cared for a while; in her mind her father had finally forgiven her, and maybe now everything would be alright. As she got older, she quickly learned to tell when he was being fake, and she picked up on the fact that he never offered words of encouragement or congratulations. He simply asked her questions about her school and tried to steer her away from the priesthood, saying she was better suited for a career in politics.
He'd always hated seeing her after those lunch outings. She was always so downtrodden and visibly upset. At least, she was, until she started hiding her emotions under her mask of indifference and anger.
He sighed, glancing over to where she was selling love charms to a group of girls. She was dedicated to the shrine, which was something that he loved, but he was still afraid that some handsome man would come and sweep her off her feet, raking her away from him as Takashi had stolen his daughter. He'd been afraid of that Mamoru at first, but he'd grown quite fond of him as of late. He had a solid head on his shoulders; he wanted to be a doctor and was working hard to achieve his goal. More importantly, he treated Rei well, and he genuinely seemed to care for her. He wondered what it was that she had seen to tear them apart. The fire had whispered something to him about Mamoru needing to be away from her to accept his destiny, that Rei had no place in his heart if the future was to be peaceful.
He sighed again, watching her closely. 'She's been through too much for a fourteen year old girl,' he thought. He bowed in front of the alter, praying quietly that she would find happiness.
.O.
Yuichirou groaned as he swept the veranda down again. Rei was in a terrible mood; he guessed that she must have broken up with that guy. He'd never liked Mamoru. He was too old for her, for one thing, and he'd always sensed some kind of distance that he kept between the two of them. Plus, he was jealous; he didn't want Rei to be falling for anyone other than him.
He sighed. He'd been in love with her since he first met her. Well, perhaps he was only in lust with her at first. She was beautiful, but her beauty was more understated than most other girls. He'd heard boys joking around, saying that she was too plain, but he couldn't have disagreed more. There was a quiet elegance in her, and she was so mysterious with the way she guarded herself. It was something that always attracted him to her, even though he constantly tried to fight it. She was too young for him, anyway, despite how easy it was to forget her age.
He remembered the gentle touch of her hand on his cheek the night before, her softly whispered, "thank you," ringing in his ears. She could be almost unbelievably kind at some points, when she let her guard down and allowed herself to trust others. He hadn't been able to see that side of her often, but he cherished the moments that she did. One day he hoped that she would trust him as she trusted her grandfather, but he knew that wouldn't happen for years.
He sighed, glancing back over at her. 'Stop it, Yuichirou. Don't forget the reason you're here at this shrine in the first place. Don't forget what she did to you,' he thought to himself. He knew he wasn't suited for love, at least not right now.
Once he finished sweeping, he returned to the room with the charms, putting the broom away. There were no customers at the moment, and Rei was leaning against the wall, reading a novel written in English, every now and then stopping to write down some notes; she hadn't noticed him at all.
"Rei-san?" he ventured quietly, causing her to start slightly and look up at him. Her eyes were angry for a spilt second, but then they softened, and he could tell that she was sad. "Yuichirou," she murmured, breaking eye contact with him.
"Are you finished with the tea?" he asked, gesturing toward the kettle that was resting on the table, knowing by now that the liquid inside was cold.
"Oh," she said softly. "Yes, I am. I'm sorry; I should have cleaned that up myself." She moved to gather the discarded teacups and napkins, but Yuichirou knelt down and grabbed her wrist softly. "Finish your homework," he said, winking. "I'll take care of this. Did you want some more?" She shook her head, watching him with a strange look in her eyes. He gathered the dishes and prepared to leave.
"Yuichirou," she called, just as he reached to door. He turned to look back at her, but she wasn't looking at him again. "I'm sorry," she said, "for yelling. I shouldn't have done that." She bit her lip, and for a moment he thought she might cry. "I've just been thinking about a lot of things," she whispered.
He smiled at her. "Don't worry about it, Rei-san. We're all allowed to have bad days." She looked up at him and smiled slightly, though it didn't reach her eyes.
"Arigatou, Yuichirou. You're a good friend."
.O.
Rei sighed as she watched Yuichirou leave. He really was a good friend to her; she didn't know anyone who put up with her the way that he did. Most people either acted like Ami, scolding her for being rude or hateful, or Usagi, who called her out, telling her how mean she was and occasionally saying that they hated her.
She wondered if Usagi really did hate her; sometimes she couldn't tell. They had their spats and arguments almost every time they were together. 'If I were her I would definitely hate me,' she thought, her eyes lingering on the cell phone that was sitting on the table. She'd texted Usagi over an hour ago, telling her that she needed to talk to her and that it was urgent, but the girl had yet to respond. She brought her eyes back to her book, scolding herself for being so wistful.
She really did care about Usagi, probably more than any of their other friends. She was probably the closest thing to a best friend that she had ever had. After all, she'd just ended things with the first man she'd really loved, the first man who'd really loved her, so that Usagi could have her happy ending. She felt tears pricking at her eyes, so she shut them, trying to calm herself and keep them at bay. She'd cried enough over Mamoru already; it wasn't going to change destiny. She needed to tell Usagi what she had seen so that they could be prepared. She should have told Mamoru, but she remembered Tuxedo Kamen saying that he didn't know who he really was.
Her phone rang, and she leapt for it, unashamed at her eagerness. She felt slightly discouraged when she saw Makoto's name on the caller id, but answered it anyway; she might be with Usagi.
"Ohayo, Mako-chan," she greeted, trying to pump some eagerness into her voice.
"Rei-chan, how are you?" the girl responded.
"I'm alright. It's been sort of a slow day at the shrine," she said, gazing out across the courtyard to see her grandfather talking to an older couple.
"Have you been following all of this fake Sailor Moon stuff?"
"Hai, I have. Does anyone have a clue of who she is?"
"No, Usagi is really upset about it though. All day at school she was talking about finding the girl and telling her off." She chuckled lightly.
"Are you with her?" She wanted to know; maybe she could persuade Usagi to come to the shrine and listen to her.
"No. She bolted after school, skipped detention and everything. Haruna-sama was mad. Why?"
"Oh, I just had something I wanted to talk to her about."
"Really, Rei-chan, you need to lighten up on her. She gets really upset with you ragging on her all the time."
Rei winced. She hadn't been too sure of what Makoto had thought of her before, but it looked like she was in the same boat as Ami. "It's not anything like that," she said quietly, and Makoto caught the hurt in her voice.
"I'm sorry; that was really rude of me! I shouldn't have assumed," she said quickly, sounding embarrassed.
"It's alright," she said, trying to dismiss it. "I really hope she doesn't get herself into trouble with this. You know Usagi; sometimes she acts without thinking things through and…"
A vision flashed across her eyes, forcing her into silence. The fake Sailor Moon was being hoisted into the air by Kunzite. She complained about the discomfort in her arms, but he laughed it off. "It'll all be worth it once we kill the real Sailor Moon." Rei gasped.
"Rei-chan? Where'd you go? Hello?" Makoto was calling through the phone.
"We have to find her, Mako-chan. She's walking into a trap!"
.O.
They'd finally found her and Luna nearly an hour later, after Ami had joined in the search and was able to locate her on her computer. Usagi had seen the fake hanging from a crane, but someone had rescued her before she got there. "It was probably Tuxedo Kamen-sama," Usagi groaned, "That's why she's here! She's trying to steal my man!"
"Usagi," Rei started, but the girl turned around and fixed her with a glare. "Don't you dare start with me, Hino-san!" she shouted, and Rei winced at her use of such a formal title. "I'm still mad at you for yesterday! I don't think I ever want to hear from you again."
Makoto's jaw dropped, and Ami quickly stepped in to alleviate the situation. "Usagi-chan, don't be so mean," she said, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Rei-chan was the one who figured out that this was probably a trap. She's the whole reason we came here to help you."
Usagi trust her hands on her hips. "Well, clearly, she lied. This wasn't a trap and I didn't need your help," she snapped, sending a pointed glare at Rei, who took a step backwards at Usagi's harsh tone.
"Usagi-chan! You're being unfair," Luna chided. "She's your friend. I can't believe you're still so sore over her poking fun at that horrible mark you got."
"Unfortunately for you, Sailor Moon," a deep voice drifted over them, "Mars was correct. This is a trap, and you've fallen right into it." Sinister laughter washed over them.
"That's Kunzite!" Makoto gasped. "Stop being a coward! Come out here and fight us like a man!" she shouted as the girls got into a fighting stance with their backs to one another, trying to see in all directions.
"Gladly," he said, laughing again as he appeared above them "Prepare to die, little girls."
His had struck forward, forming a ball of dark energy that hurtled towards them, becoming dome shaped before slamming down on them forcefully. The walls of the dome sparked with electric energy. Rei attacked, attempting to break the barrier around them, but it simply absorbed her power, sending it right back at her. The force of the attack knocked her backwards against Makoto's back.
"Mars, are you alright?" Ami asked, a slight hint of panic in her voice. She nodded stiffly, ignoring the pain in her arms, from where she had blocked her face, and her abdomen. Makoto tried as well, but her attack reflected back into her, causing her to fall back against Rei, shocking them both.
"Stupid girls," a lilting voice filled the air. "Do you really think that you could break through this barrier with those pathetic little attacks of yours?"
Ami looked up after helping Rei back to her feet. "Zoisite!" she gasped, recognizing their other enemy. He laughed, landing outside of the barrier and regarding the Senshi with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. "How delightful. Not only have we gotten rid of Tuxedo Kamen, but now we'll be rid of you as well."
"What did you do to Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" Usagi yelled, running at Zoisite, but stopping at the barrier. Rei felt her breath catch in her throat. They couldn't have killed Mamoru, could they?
Zoisite laughed again. "Oh, don't worry, Sailor Moon. You'll be joining him soon enough." He jumped, joining Kunzite in the sky again. "Oh Tuxedo Kamen!" he called, his voice mocking. "Come out here, and hand over your crystals, or they'll all die. You might as well just give in; you don't have much time left."
Suddenly, the barrier began to constrict around them, sending bolts of electricity in all directions. 'Not dead,' Rei thought, struggling to stay on her feet as the electricity coursed through her. 'There's still hope for the future.'
The dome was forcing them closer to one another as they tried to avoid contact with the electric walls. Dimly, she could her Usagi crying beside her, and she reached to grab her hand, squeezing it in reassurance. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tuxedo Kamen, holding his shoulder gingerly.
"Aha!" Zoisite laughed again. "There you are. I knew you couldn't let your little fan club die."
Suddenly, there was a flash of orange light above them. Kunzite cried out in pain and, with his concentration lost, the barrier around them shattered. Usagi stood up quickly, ripping her hand away from Rei's. On a pylon in the distance stood a girl, her Senshi fuku easily recognizable. "Who are you?" Kunzite demanded, cradling his injured hand. The girl jumped down, landing close to them. Her fuku was orange with blue and yellow bows, and her long, blonde hair swirled around her, part of it held up in a red ribbon. "So beautiful," Usagi whispered.
"I am Sailor Venus!" the girl called, fixing her gaze on Kunzite. "Now that the five of us have been reunited, our team is complete! There's no way you'll defeat us now." A defiant smile played along her lips.
"Very well then," Kunzite growls. "I guess I'll just have to do away with all of you at once!"
"Kunzite! Zoisite! Stop what you're doing and return to base immediately!" a woman's voice yelled. "Queen Beryl!" Zoisite shouted. "We have them all right here! We can kill them easily!" An image of a red haired woman appeared in the sky behind them. "How dare you question my orders!" she snapped. "Return to base immediately!"
Kunzite fixated the Senshi with an evil glare. "This isn't over, little girls," he murmured before the two of them vanished.
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" Usagi yelled, turning to see where he had been standing. "Where-where did he go?" she asked, her voice sounding forlorn. "He was injured," Ami murmured. "Oh, I do hope he is alright."
"Thank you, Sailor Venus," Rei said, turning to face their newest teammate. A white cat ran to stand next to her, the crescent moon on his forehead matching Luna's. The other cat jumped out from her hiding place gleefully. "Artemis! I thought I was never going to see you again!" she raced to evaluate the cat next to her. "It's good to see you too, Luna," the cat said, his voice deep and masculine.
"So you're the other Senshi?" Venus asked, looking at them carefully. "I'm glad we're finally all united! It was fun running around by myself and all, but everyone needs friends, right?" she said, a smile gracing her features.
"Running around by yourself?" Usagi asked, and Makoto gasped. "You're Sailor V!"
She laughed then. "I was, for a time. There's only so much we can do on our own. Together, we'll be unstoppable!
The white cat cleared his throat, causing all of the girls to look down at him. "We've got to run, but let's plan on meeting at the Hikawa Jinja tomorrow afternoon after school." Venus nodded. "Sounds like a plan. See you tomorrow, girls!" she said, and with that, she turned on her heel and left, jumping over a small wall and disappearing from their sight with Artemis hot on her trail.
Ami and Makoto transformed back into their regular selves, relaxing. Rei sighed, feeling the rush of cool air wash over her as she reverted back into her priestess robes. Looking beside her, she could see that Usagi had done the same. Her body ached, and a quick glance at Makoto told her that the taller girl was sore as well.
"It's getting late," Ami observed. We should be getting home. The other girls nodded. "Thank you, Rei-chan," Makoto said. "I'm glad that we were all here to help Usagi out." She smiled at that, nodding to the girl. "Let's go home then," Makoto said, heading toward the nearest bus station.
"Usagi," Rei said, matching her strides with the shorter girl as they walked. "I need to talk to you about something. Come with me to the shrine? Yuichirou can take you home after." Usagi glared at her, and Rei froze in mid-step. Was she really still so angry with her?
"I don't want to hear your loudmouthed 'I told you so,' speech, Rei-chan," she snapped, and Rei felt slightly relieved that she had used a less formal title this time.
"It's not like that at all, Usagi. This is really, really important," she tried again. She wanted to tell Usagi first and on her own; she knew that the girl was going to have a lot of different thoughts and questions running through her head, and it would be easier for her to help if the other girls were asking their own questions as well. "I'm sorry that I made fun of you; I really am. I didn't mean to upset you like this. Please, I need to talk to you."
"I don't care," Usagi said.
"Usagi-chan, stop being so rude," Luna scolded.
"What, Luna, now you're going to gang up on me too?" she shrieked.
"Usagi," she tried again, knowing that she had to tell the girl what was going on.
"Stop calling me that, Rei-chan," the girl snapped again. "We're not that close. You can tell me whatever it is tomorrow when we meet with everyone else."
She stopped walking then, as did Ami and Makoto. They were all stunned with how harsh Usagi was being with Rei. 'Although,' Ami thought, 'it's not like she doesn't deserve it.'
"Usagi-chan," Makoto said, "I think you should get some sleep. You seem a little bit stressed. The girl continued walking along, covering a large yawn with her hand.
"You're right, Mako-chan. The faster I get home, the better." They all started walking again, and Ami jogged a bit to catch up with Usagi. Makoto eventually caught up with them, but Rei stayed fairly far behind, mulling over her own thoughts.
'You always do this to yourself, Rei. You take people for granted and treat them poorly, and you always wonder why they eventually stop putting up with you.' She sighed, watching the girls in front of her. She didn't really fit in their group, at least not the way she was now. 'You're going to have to let them into your heart sooner or later,' she told herself. 'Our destinies are intertwined; they're not going anywhere.'
Ahead of her, Ami and Usagi had stopped walking. They'd reached a bus stop and it happened to be one that would take them to their homes. "Goodnight, Mako-chan, Rei-chan," Ami said quietly. "We'll see you tomorrow!"
"Goodnight," Makoto and Rei both murmured, heading a bit further down the street to catch a bus that would take them home.
"She's not that mad, you know," Makoto said, watching Rei out of the corner of her eye. The girl didn't seem convinced; her eyes were still staring far away. "She's apparently got this crazy idea in her head that if she acts like a brat to you then you'll loosen up on her."
Rei scoffed. "It's working."
"Why are you so tough on her?" she asked, genuinely curious.
Rei sighed heavily. She knew why she was hard on her, but would Makoto understand? She might just think she was insane. "She needs someone to be hard on her," she said simply. Makoto stopped walking and grabbed her hand to stop her.
"What are you talking about?" Right, she thought she was insane. She racked her brain, trying to come up with a way to explain what she thought. She wondered if Makoto would tell Usagi everything that she said anyway.
She shrugged. "No one's hard on her. She slacks off and acts lazy because no one ever cares enough to push her to be better. She's not stupid, but her marks are horrible because she doesn't want to try. She has plenty of qualities that are perfect for a leader, but she's a terrible one because she doesn't want to try." She sighed. Now that she was saying it out loud, it did sound stupid. "I guess I just thought that if I was hard on her then she'd try to be better, that she'd be everything she could be." Makoto was regarding her curiously. "I don't know, now that I've said it I think it's stupid. What was I thinking?"
"You really care about her, don't you?" Makoto asked, sounding a little bit surprised. Rei nodded, staring down at her feet. "I don't think it's stupid," she said finally, and Rei smiled up at her. "You don't really know how to deal with people, do you? You seem very…guarded."
Rei bit her lip. Was she really becoming that transparent? "It's okay though," Makoto interjected, noticing her distress. "I am too. Every since my parents died, I just…I don't know. I didn't want anyone getting too close."
"When people get too close they can hurt you," Rei said quietly, and Makoto nodded. "I didn't know about your parents; I'm sorry, Mako-chan."
The girl shrugged. "I miss them sometimes, but having friends like you guys makes it hurt less," she admitted. "What about your parents? What do they do and where do they live? Why do you live with your grandfather anyway?" Makoto asked, questions spilling out before she could stop them. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so nosey!"
Rei smiled slightly, debating with herself whether or not she should tell Makoto the truth. 'You have to let them in, Rei. They're not going anywhere.' She took a deep breath. "My mom died when I was five," she said quietly, her voice breaking over the words. She realized abruptly that she'd never admitted that out loud.
Makoto's hand squeezed her shoulder, encouraging her to go on. She cleared her throat before speaking again, her voice a little stronger this time. "My father is a congressman."
Makoto gasped. "Congressman Hino is your father? That's incredible!"
"He abandoned me with my grandfather after my mother died," she finished, feeling a bit depressed. Makoto shut her mouth, an embarrassed blush covering her cheeks. "Oh, don't be like that," she chided. "It's not like you knew." She sighed again. "It's complicated, really. My mom died in an accident, and my father, well, he didn't know how to cope with it, and he'd never really wanted children, so he didn't know how to react. Oji-san says it because I look so much like my mother, and he couldn't stand to be reminded of her all the time. He takes me to lunch every now and then to keep up appearances, and he sends me to a great school, but he's not really involved anymore."
Makoto was looking at her with the most sympathetic look on her face, and Rei smacked her shoulder lightly. "Don't look at me like that, Mako-chan. It's all turned out for the best, anyway." The taller girl raised her eyebrow skeptically.
"How many people have you told that to?" she asked, her gaze stern.
"Just you, Mako-chan," she said quietly. "I…I don't really have a lot of friends. I definitely don't have any close friends. I've always been alone, more or less."
"What about that Mamoru guy? He's your boyfriend, right?"
Rei screwed her eyes shut, feeling that annoying pinprick of tears at the back of her eyes and desperately trying to keep them at bay. "Was," she whispered. "We actually ended things earlier this afternoon. He…he was too old for me. Things just weren't working out."
"I'm sorry," she said, a slightly pained look in her eyes. "Is that what you wanted to tell Usagi?" Rei shook her head.
"No. Well, not completely. I had a vision about her, and I just wanted to talk to her about it, just so she could be ready for it if it was true."
"I wish I could have visions about the future," Makoto said, a wistful look in her eyes.
"No," Rei said firmly. "You really don't. They can be a burden. Sometimes they're complete torture. You don't have any say in what you see or when you see it or how horrible it is."
Makoto studied her carefully for a minute. "You're a lot more than you seem, Rei-chan," she said, smiling at the shorter girl. "I'm glad you told me these things."
Rei smiled back at her, for a moment her troubles forgotten as they resumed their walk to the bus. "Mako-chan, please don't tell anyone what I told you," she said after a while. "I…I want to do it myself."
"Of course. There's some sort of therapy in talking it out with other people; that's always what has helped me to feel better, anyway." she said, sitting on the bench as they'd finally reached their stop. "But, maybe you really should lighten up on Usagi-chan for a little bit, okay? At least until she calms down." Rei nodded, sitting down next to her.
"Thank you, Mako-chan."
.O.
She crept into the house as quietly as she could manage. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning; her grandfather would have a fit if he caught her coming in this late. Waking up Yuichirou would be even worse; he'd launch into a rant about how young girls shouldn't be riding the bus all alone so late at night, smothering her with concern until she finally persuaded him to go back to sleep. Thankfully, the hallway was dark and empty. Her steps were silent as she approached her bedroom, sliding the door open with barely more than a whisper.
"Where have you been?"
She jumped backwards, smacking her hands over her mouth to stifle the scream that came out. There, sitting on her floor with his arms crossed and a stern expression across his face sat her grandfather.
"Oji-san!" she gasped. "You startled me." She entered the room, sliding the door shut behind her and turning on the light.
"Where were you?" he asked again.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I was at Usagi-chan's and I fell asleep. I was going to just stay there, but I thought you'd be worried if I wasn't here in the morning."
"You know better than to be traipsing around the city late at night." He scolded. "You're fourteen years old; do you know how dangerous it is for you to be out by yourself?"
"I wasn't alone," she said, feeling guilty for lying to him and making him worry. "Mako-chan was with me. She's only a few stops away from here."
"Two fourteen year olds alone late at night. That sounds like a predators dream." He snapped, and Rei knelt down next to him, hugging him gently.
"I'm sorry, Oji-san," he whispered. "I really am." The old man sighed, returning his granddaughter's embrace.
"Promise me you'll stay next time, and just call me to tell me where you are," he said, sounding tired. "Don't make me sit up all night worrying about you, Rei. You're all I have left."
She kissed his cheek. "I promise."
.O.
She couldn't sleep again. Rolling over in her bed, she saw that it was already four in the morning. It was going to be another long day at school. She flipped over onto her back, trying in vain to clear her thoughts and calm her mind enough to go to sleep.
Her chat with Makoto had made her feel somewhat better about opening up to her new friends, but a part of her was still worried that the girl would betray her trust and tell the other's her secrets. She shook her head, trying to clear the negative thoughts away. She just couldn't believe that Makoto would do that to her. After all, they were somewhat similar, weren't they? She'd lost a lot, too.
She wondered what Usagi would say about her vision; she hoped that the girl didn't just laugh at her or tell her she was ridiculous. She and Mamoru weren't the best of friends, so it was likely that she would think Rei was insane for suggesting that they be destined for one another.
Mamoru. She sighed as her thoughts drifted to him and their conversation from the afternoon. She'd wanted to plan it out before she'd done it, but then he'd just shown up, and everything had fallen apart from there. He'd been so angry at her, but she couldn't blame him. She'd dated him, kissed him, spent so much time with him, yet she never told him she loved him too, and the afternoon after a sweet evening spent together she'd smashed his heart back in his face.
She groaned. Why had everything gotten so complicated recently? She almost wished she'd never discovered that she was Sailor Mars. Sometimes, she hated it. She hated the soreness and injuries that lingered after battle. She hated lying to her grandfather and Yuichirou. She hated breaking Mamoru's heart. She hated having to open up to other people and trust them.
The tears that she'd been holding in all afternoon finally broke through, and she buried her face in her pillow, sobbing quietly until she finally fell asleep, her body thoroughly exhausted.
.O.
AN: Please read and review! I'm not so great at editing, so I really appreciate all of the feedback I can get! Also, happy holidays!