Makoto wasn't angry with Haruka for how he acted when Sousuke came, he knew Haruka wasn't too happy with new things and he also knew that Haruka hated to be touched by most people. Luckily after all the time they knew each other, Makoto became an exception to that. In hind sight thought, Makoto knew he was to blame and should've told Sousuke beforehand about Haruka's issues. He had mentioned to Sousuke that all the patients had certain triggers that set them off, but never told him what they were, and being touched was one of Haruka's.
Makoto didn't know exactly why Haruka got triggered by this, he knew Nagisa got triggered by yelling or being startled, and Rin got triggered by pressure, anger, or bad news, but he was still trying to figure out what exactly got Haruka to become mentally unstable and spend half his life in a mental hospital. All he could piece together with Haruka was that he witnessed his parents getting killed, everything else was a blurred memory to the raven haired teen and left Makoto with many questions. Sure, such a traumatizing event could bring in the early stages of schizophrenia, and then being surrounded by mentally unstable people as such a young kid could contribute to that, but it didn't explain the magnitude of Haruka's instability, his lack of trust, or his sensitivity to touch. Makoto was snapped out of his thoughts by the beeping of the door, signifying it was unlocked and echoing against the white walls. It was almost too loud in the silent building. Everyone was asleep at this time of night, everyone except Haruka. Makoto knew the raven haired teen rarely slept at this time and wanted to have a midnight session with Makoto. The olive haired man entered the patient ward and closed the door behind himself. He hoped he hadn't woken anyone up with the beeping door.
Makoto looked out the window to see the crescent moon shining down at him; the night sky left a blue hue in the room. Makoto was about to go to Haruka's room when he noticed the T.V. on, playing a late night cartoon with colors all too bright in the dark of night. Makoto walked over to turn it off only to find a sleeping Nagisa on the couch. Makoto made a quiet chuckle. 'Again Nagisa?' He thought playfully. He grabbed a blanket and draped it over Nagisa before turning off the T.V.
After this Makoto walked over to Haruka's room, quietly opening the door. He looks in to see Haruka lying down on his bed, head propped behind pillows and his arms crossed as he stares at the ceiling. He wore a blue t-shirt and black shorts.
"Hi Haru." Makoto says cheerfully. Haruka looks over to him with his ocean blue eyes. He doesn't say anything but the way his eyes visibly lighten let Makoto know he's allowed to come inside and talk to Haruka. Makoto walked in and sat down on the edge of Haruka's bed.
"You look tired…" Haruka states his observation as he sits up; looking over Makoto's disheveled appearance.
"Don't worry Haru, I'm fine." Makoto says and suppresses a small yawn. Haruka sees though it though and shakes his head, the two knew each other long enough to not be able to see through each other's lies.
"You should sleep." Haruka mutters, Makoto smiled a bit, both because Haruka was showing he cared about him and because he wanted Haruka to know he was fine.
"You should sleep too, and I'm not going to leave you awake all night." Makoto says, usually the night sessions consisted of Makoto talking to Haruka until the raven haired teen became so tired that he fell asleep. Haruka lets out a sigh, obviously not happy with that answer, but instead of saying anything he looks to Makoto. The look in his eyes prompting Makoto to start his therapy session and ask questions.
"How have you been?" Makoto asks first, he seemed to have a bit of worry in his tone. Haruka rolls his eyes.
"What do you think?" He asks and Makoto rubs the back of his neck with a chuckle. "Yeah, I should've already known, is it Sousuke or just the normal problems?" Makoto asks, he knew Haruka hated hearing or talking about his problems but at this time of night the raven haired teen is usually too tired to care, he also didn't really seem to get angry when Makoto asked. The two were open with each other and Haruka learned he could trust Makoto after a couple years.
"Both." Haruka mutters as he leans back against his pillows again, staring a bit at the ceiling.
"Why does Sousuke bother you so much?" Makoto asks. Sousuke had just started a couple weeks ago and seemed fine; he was a good worker and didn't seem to be mean or doing anything wrong. For some reason Haruka seemed to hate him even before he met him.
"A new person can ruin everything here." Haruka says flatly. Makoto blinks and frowns and Haruka's pessimistic attitude.
"Why don't you trust anyone…?" The olive haired man asks quietly, trying to hide any signs of sadness since he knew it would bother Haruka, but not being able to hide the worry.
"I trust you…" Haruka mumbles, Makoto wished that was true though he knew it wasn't. Haruka didn't' trust anyone, and Makoto was still trying to figure out why. None of their sessions had revealed anything about what had traumatized Haruka so much that he stopped trusting everyone and wouldn't let most people touch him, not to mention how it triggered him to act out with the schizophrenia.
"Haru, you still hide a lot from me…" Makoto says, it actually pained him a bit. He knew Haruka was his patient, but after all the time they knew each other Makoto felt like they were more, like they were friends that should trust each other. Heck, Makoto would admit Haruka was basically his best friend, they talked to each other every day and any feeling of professionalism between the two had evaporated over the years. Makoto knew Haruka was close to him, he could easily even say Haruka was attached to him, over the years of being together they started to depend on each other for company and comfort. Though the friendship of give and take was mostly taking on Haruka's side, Makoto didn't mind. He enjoyed being around Haruka and knew helping him was part of his job, but even still the fact Haruka wasn't open bothered Makoto. Despite knowing that many people like Haruka will only reveal parts of their life when they're comfortable and wanting to share it, Makoto couldn't help being a bit upset and not feeling trusted. He knew not to pressure Haruka though; it would only make the raven haired teen revert further into himself.
"You're the person I trust most…" Haruka mumbles and Makoto frowns slightly realizing once again he was the only one there for Haruka. He sighs, deciding he should just be glad with the progress they have so far and not be upset about what Haruka hasn't done yet.
"Thank you for that…" Makoto says and Haruka makes a small nod in response, he still lay in bed and didn't look over. Makoto put a hand on Haruka's shoulder and gave a gentle smile. Haruka looked up to him and visibly seemed to relax a bit. Makoto had to hold back a yawn just so Haruka wouldn't insist he slept, part of him honestly wanted to lay down with Haruka and let the comfort of sleep wash over him, but he knew he had a job to do and that would be unprofessional.
"So have you been having problems lately?" Makoto asks, changing the subject. Haruka sighs and rolls his eyes.
"By problems you mean if I've been seeing things and hearing voices more, I'm guessing… And it's the same as it's always been." The stoic voice said, void of emotion. Makoto sighed at this, Haruka was bitter about his lack of improvement. Makoto believed that the combination of guilt for not being able to do anything about his parents death and the confusion for the blank spot in his memory where he had no clue what happed to him was what was holding him back from improvement so much and causing his frustration. Makoto desperately wanted to help Haruka but wasn't sure how to, everything he had tried before never seemed to work.
"Is the water still calling you?" Makoto asks. The raven hair teen had told Makoto that voices from the water were always calling him a couple years back. Hearing that from his best friend, who was young at the time, was disturbing and saddening. Makoto wanted Haruka to improve, to be free of insanity, after everything he went through he deserved it. Makoto hated whoever hurt Haruka like this, whoever killed Haruka's parents and sent Haruka spiraling into mental instability and left him in psychiatric hospitals for most of his life. Makoto looked at Haruka and tried to keep a frown from forming, Haruka was staring at Makoto knowing exactly what Makoto had been thinking.
"You're worrying too much about me." Haruka mumbles looking away from Makoto.
"It's my job to worry about you…" Makoto says and Haruka rolls his eyes lying down.
"Well I'm going to bed… You should too." He says looking at Makoto. The olive haired doctor made a small nod and watched as Haruka closed his eyes and got comfortable. Makoto made a small smile as the raven haired teen started to fall asleep, he felt a warm glow in his chest as Haruka looked so peaceful. Makoto made a small yawn, he was starting to feel his own exhaustion kick in. He closed his eyes; maybe he could just rest a few moments…
Makoto opened his eyes finding himself in the chair of his office, he blinked a couple times wondering how he got here but just guessed he walked over when he was half asleep. Makoto ran a hair through his hair and gave his cheeks a couple light slaps to wake himself up and went to work on a pile of paper work on his desk.
The clock ticked on and on as Makoto did his paper work, it was hard not to fall asleep from the boring task and lack of rest but he managed. Just when his eyes were half lidded and he felt himself starting to drift into the resting state of consciousness but was quickly snapped out of it when he heard his clock chime three times. He rubbed his face with a sigh and got up, knowing that he should check on all the patients before they get so irritated they attack each other. Makoto left his room and then walked into the patient ward, looking around. Nagisa was playing on a DS he was given by his family the last time they visited while Rin and Haruka sat on the couch, Rin watching T.V. and Haruka drawing. Makoto was about to walk over to Haruka and Rin, knowing not to bother Nagisa while he was playing a game because he'd get upset and try to prank Makoto later in retaliation, but then noticed Rin's arm around the back of the couch, almost around Haruka. The olive haired doctor blinked and his eyes narrowed, something just didn't seem right with this. He didn't know why but seeing Rin's arm practically around Haruka just rubbed him the wrong way, he didn't want to see the two like that.
"Haruka can I see you in my office?" Makoto asked, the words leaving his mouth with practically no thought at all, surprising even himself. Haruka blinks and looks over seeming a bit shocked that he was there but nods and gets up.
Thump. Thump.
Makoto's heart pounded in his chest for whatever reason as he led Haruka to his office. He didn't even know what he would say when they got there; he just wanted to get Haruka away from Rin. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he was jealous, but he quickly pushed it away. There would be no reason for that. Makoto opened the door to his office.
Thump. Thump.
After Haruka got in the room Makoto followed and looked to the raven haired teen. Green eyes met blue, curious ones, and Makoto couldn't help but feel a warm glow form in his chest. Something seemed to change in that moment though, the warm glow was different than how he usually felt around Haruka and now he felt something a lot more… dangerous. This new feeling of complete desire took over him and thoughts started to swell through his mind, ones that he really shouldn't have for his patient.
'He looks so cute.'
'I wonder what his lips feel like…'
'They look soft…'
'I want to just kiss him all over…'
Makoto had to force his thoughts to stop there before he couldn't stop thinking about dominating Haruka. He was his patient, it was unprofessional. Haruka was still looking up at Makoto, his eyes asking the question of what he was doing and why he wanted to see Haruka in his office. The olive haired doctor wanted to answer, but couldn't, his mouth had gone dry and he had no clue what to say, he didn't even know why he had called Haruka in here. Makoto's eyes were just focused on Haruka's lips, he wasn't sure if he was getting closer of if it was just his imagination. It wasn't until lips met his that he had realized Haruka had met him half way into a kiss. Makoto's cheeks turned red and his heart beat sped up but he wrapped his arms around Haruka's slim waist and leaned into the kiss with half lidded eyes. Professional or not, any thoughts of work were quickly erased from his mind, he was just fixated on the feel of Haruka's soft lips moving against his own.
Makoto slipped his tongue into Haruka's mouth, he felt Haruka's arms wrap around his shoulder and he knew that there was no doubt the raven haired teen was blushing even more. Makoto let his tongue explore Haruka's mouth and had to hold back a moan as Haruka's tongue started to move against his own, dancing around each other. Makoto slammed Haruka against the wall, earning a gasp from the raven haired teen. Makoto moved his hands lower, cupping Haruka's butt and raising him up a bit against the wall as the raven haired teen wrapped his legs around him. The two separated from the kiss a moment and Makoto grazed kisses down Haruka's neck and collarbone, Haruka took in a sharp breath and Makoto felt himself getting harder in the lower region. Makoto blushed more and felt a little self-conscious until he felt Haruka's hard member against him as well. All insecurities seemed to disappear from Makoto and all that was on his mind was the fact that they had far too many clothes on right now. The olive haired doctor ran one hand under Haruka's shirt while the other held him up still; he left a couple hickeys on Haruka's neck, part of him wanting to make a mark on the raven haired teen so it was known that he was Makoto's only. "Mmm...Makoto…" Haruka mumbles only turning the olive haired teen on more. He was quick to remove Haruka's shirt and was already starting to work on his pants after. He could see Haruka blushing but his blue eyes were filled with a lust that sent Makoto into a possessive craze. He wanted to make Haruka his and only his. Makoto unbuttoned Haruka's pants and slid them down, Haruka blushed more as Makoto did so and after gave him a couple pecks.
"How come I'm the only one being undressed…?" Haruka asks and Makoto can't help but chuckle.
"Maybe because you haven't tried to undress me." He says and Haruka rolls his eyes slightly. "Well… Let's bring this over to your couch first then…" The raven haired teen purred and Makoto eagerly did so, he made sure he gently put Haruka down before climbing over him, all too eager to make love with the teen he knew for years and deemed as his best friend. Haruka played with Makoto's shirt a bit before taking it off. Makoto felt Haruka's eyes look over him as his hands traveled across Makoto's chest and to the muscles of his back, Makoto took the time to look over Haruka, he was smaller but muscular, his ivory skin glowed in the light that was being let into the room through one of the windows and his face was dusted red with blush. The raven haired teen slid his hands down to the button of his pants, Makoto let out a small hiss as Haruka got close to his hard member. Haruka unbuttoned the pants and went to slide them off, watching Makoto's face for any reaction. Makoto moved his hand up Haruka's thigh and blushed as Haruka bucked his hips forward a bit.
"Makoto…" Was the small unexpected whine that came from the raven haired teen. If Makoto hadn't been confident they were the only two in the room he would've thought someone else had said it since it was so un-Haru-like. Makoto looked down at the raven haired teen who's face just read 'get it on with' and blushed. He took the hint and took off Haruka's boxers, looking down at him for a moment.
The feeling of possessiveness quickly took over Makoto and he leaned down, trailing kisses down Haruka's chest and to his stomach. Haruka took in shaky breaths and held onto Makoto tighter as he got closer to his excited member. Makoto leans up and gives Haruka's ear a gentle bite earning a gasp from the teen.
"Someone seems eager…" The olive haired doctor whispers. He felt Haruka's hands pulling down his boxers and blushed a bit. He could feel Haruka looking at his twitching member and though it sent embarrassment coursing through him, it also made him want to be closer to Haruka. Makoto put a hand on Haruka's cheek and got his attention again, he leaned in and kissed Haruka passionately letting their tongues intertwine again. Haruka went to move his arms back around Makoto's shoulders but Makoto grabbed Haruka's hands and pinned them down. He wanted to be in complete control of this right now; Haruka seemed to get the message as he didn't try to move his wrists away.
Haruka moved his hips against Makoto's, making the olive haired doctor moan, he felt like he couldn't take it anymore as his member rubbed against Haruka's, the raven haired teen made it obvious he was getting impatient too. He pulled away from the kiss, breathing a bit heavily and lifted Haruka up a bit to get a better position. He didn't care if it would hurt more for Haruka at the moment; he just wanted to see him as they did this. The raven haired teen was blushing but that look of lust never left his face. Makoto slid his member into Haruka and the two both let out a shaky breath. He had no clue whether or not Haruka was experienced with this but this wasn't on his mind right now, the only thing running through his head was how good this felt. He moved further into Haruka, feeling as if he was being pulled in as his member was surrounded by warmth, and earning a sharp gasp from the raven haired teen. As he moves in and out of Haruka, his mind is blurred with moans, pleasure, and screams of ecstasy. The screams became less of pleasure as time went on and it wasn't long before Makoto jolted up awake in bed to yelling in another room. He blinks and rubs his eyes, taking in his surroundings. His eyes were unfocused and all he knew in his half asleep state was that he wasn't in his own office and was hugging a pillow.
'It…was just a dream…'
Makoto's cheeks grow bright red as he realized he just had that type of dream, something he hadn't done in years. He shifted and was about to check and see how bad the damage was in his lower region when he realized two things. This wasn't his room and he was not hugging a pillow like he had previously thought. Makoto looked down to see the sleeping form of Haruka and had to use every ounce of self-control not to let out a very non manly scream. For a brief moment Makoto believed that his dream may have actually been real, forgetting about the illogical side of that with the face that throughout the whole dream he barely felt in control, but Makoto was quickly reassured by the fact they were both wearing clothes and Haruka had no signs of hickeys or bite marks anywhere on his body. The olive haired doctor guessed he had accidently fell asleep before he could leave Haruka's room after their midnight session. Makoto let out a small relieved sigh, though his face was still red from embarrassment at not only the dream now but the fact that he fell asleep in Haruka's bed and somehow managed to snuggle up and wrap his arms around the raven haired teen in his sleep. Makoto slowly removed his arms from their place around Haruka, being careful not to wake the sleeping teen, and looked down to his lower region only to find a wet spot on his pants. He silently cursed at this, hoping it wouldn't leave a stain and he could make it to his room without this problem being noticed by any of his coworkers or patients or he was sure he'd die from embarrassment. He didn't even know why he had that dream; he never thought of Haruka like that, heck, he hadn't thought of anyone like that for years. Makoto wanted to hit himself for even thinking about Haruka, he was his best friend and patient, it was unprofessional not to mention illegal to do anything like that since Haruka was underage.
Makoto wanted to blame it all on a random dream, just a product of an over active imagination, but it was so vivid. Makoto wasn't sure if it actually could mean something. Makoto really didn't want to admit it, but it wasn't really a nightmare, of anything Makoto enjoyed it. There was a feeling present in his dream that was present for a while when he was around Haruka, a warm glow in his chest that just made a smile form on his lips. Makoto always pegged it as brotherly love; he didn't want to think of it as anything else. He didn't want to have a crush on Haruka; he wouldn't allow himself to fall for a patient. Makoto knew how dangerous that was and wanted no part of it, he just decided he was overthinking it and would leave it at that. Makoto had to convince himself he only felt brotherly love for Haruka and that was it.
Makoto's mind went back to the yelling outside the room and hoped everything was okay and cooled over. He took a deep breath as he mustered up the courage to leave Haruka's room, holding his files inconspicuously over his crotch region, hoping no one would notice what he was hiding. Makoto left the room and walked down the hall into the common area, Rin stormed by, knocking the files Makoto had been using for cover out of the olive haired doctor's hand. Makoto made a tiny yelp at that but Rin didn't seem to care, Makoto watched as he went into his own room and slammed the door. Before Makoto cold even question what was going on he looked over to the common area to see Sousuke crossing his arms and sighing.
"What happened?" Makoto asked and Sousuke looked at him, he seemed a bit frustrated, Makoto started to put two and two together.
"I called him Rin and he flipped out… He flipped out 'cause I called him his name." Sousuke said, with his frustration seemed confusion as well.
"He probably switched personalities again… The personalities get touchy about being called the wrong name." Makoto replies, though he was unsure to what set Rin off to switch personalities again.
"How am I supposed to know what name he's going by?!" Sousuke asked, Makoto understood his frustration since he was new here still and didn't know anything about the patients' illnesses.
"You'll start to be able to tell by how he acts after a while." Makoto tells him. After the couple of years Rin had been here, Makoto as well as the other staff and patients knew what personality Rin would be in just by how he walked, by the time he opened his mouth it was obvious. Rin had three different personalities so far. There was his normal one, Rin, his hot-heated, angry, and mischievous personality, Ryuu, and his depressed personality, Eri. Sousuke would probably take a little while until he recognized the signs of a different personality. Makoto looked at the brunet who was quiet a couple moments before his gaze caught something. Makoto blinked in confusion at first before he realized, much to his mortification, that Sousuke noticed the wet spot on the crotch of his pants. The olive haired doctor's cheeks quickly turned red and he went to pick up the files he had dropped and had previously been using as cover, in hopes it would all just be forgotten. Much to his embarrassment he heard Sousuke chuckle a bit.
"Have a little issue there Makoto?" He asks and Makoto just wished he could disappear, his cheeks flaring red.
"I-It's not funny…" Makoto whines only causing Sousuke to laugh more. Sousuke was lucky Makoto was a nice boss.
"Man you're some unique boss. What are you doing here anyways? Were you leaving Haruka's…" Sousuke cut himself off and Makoto could've sworn he saw the wheels turning in his head.
"It's not like that!" The olive haired doctor is quick on the defensive. Sousuke doesn't seem too convinced and raises a brow.
"You sure about that? Thinking about it, I've been in here all morning… Which means since I haven't run into you, you've been with him all night." The brunet states to which Makoto groans. He was convinced the universe was trying to screw with him.
"I was in there last night for our midnight therapy session… I didn't do anything like that with him" Makoto says just hoping this conversation could be over. Talking about sleeping with Haruka just made Makoto feel embarrassed, and he was trying to not think about any possible feelings for the raven haired teen.
"Sure, whatever you say. Just let me know when you're going to fuck your patient so I can give you guys alone time." Sousuke said with a smirk and Makoto whined.
"I'm not doing that with him Sousuke… It's unprofessional and he's only seventeen." Makoto mumbles. "So? It's natural to go after the younger ones and you run this place, you can make the rules." Sousuke said, his voice had a bit of humor in it. Makoto just gave Sousuke a serious look which got the brunet to stop joking around.
"Eh, don't worry about it. I believe you. You seem too nice and strong with your morals to screw one of your patients." Sousuke said and patted Makoto's shoulder. Makoto made a tiny sigh still embarrassed about all of this.
"Hey don't sweat it, it happens to every guy." Sousuke said, his laugh making it seeming like he had it happen to himself very often.
"I-I'm going to go clean up." Makoto says with pink cheeks, just wanting to end this conversation. "Are you okay?" Sousuke asks and Makoto shifts a bit. He didn't want to talk about how he was trying to force away all the thoughts that came from the dream he had about Haruka. He didn't want to think about kissing him… touching him… or sleeping with him… No he couldn't. He doubted Sousuke would even understand this, of anything the brunet would think it was a joke. Makoto didn't realize his silence seemed more of a 'no' until he saw Sousuke raising a brow.
"…Did you have a dream about him?" He asks. Makoto stiffened, mentally cursing himself for making it so obvious. With a frown Makoto looked away from Sousuke, he didn't even know why he was entertaining this conversation… They should be working not gossiping.
"Hey, those kinds of things happen… It's nothing to be ashamed about." Sousuke said, Makoto could tell by his careful choice of words that he wasn't used to cheering people up.
"He's my patient, it's not right." Makoto says quietly. He could've sworn he saw a frown form on Sousuke's face for whatever reason.
"You can't control dreams." He says, though it seemed like he wanted to say something else as well. Makoto just sighed and shrugged.
"Just… Do me a favor and forget about all… This." He says, a bit of embarrassment in his voice. Sousuke nods and Makoto starts to walk off, relieved that conversation was over. He left the patient ward, went downstairs, and grabbed his clothes from his room, before going to take a shower in the bathroom, just hoping to wash away the embarrassment. Makoto really just hoped that this dream was a result of overactive imagination; he didn't want to think about the possibility of having a crush on Haruka. It was wrong, completely wrong, Haruka was so much younger than Makoto, and Makoto was supposed to be his doctor. A professional who definitely did not want to sleep with his patient. If he did so and anything found out Haruka would be taken from him.
Makoto just shook off the thoughts, as he stepped into the shower and started to wash off. He would just deal with this like he dealt with any of his other problems, by ignoring it until it went away. Sure it was somewhat hypocritical; he was a doctor using this unhealthy technique… But it was the only thing that could work and saving him from a dangerous relationship.
For some reason, Makoto felt like this was the mark for when things were going to start going downhill for him.