Shades

Chapter 2: Mother Hen

When Suzaku finally arrived at his apartment, the raven was perched on the windowsill, staring out at the skyscrapers. Suzaku had wrapped a sterile bandage over his lame wing, so it couldn't flap. The other wing was not bandaged in order to prevent atrophy.

Suzaku had purchased more birdseed and water, so he replenished the empty dishes he had set out on the floor. He wasn't entirely sure how much an unusually small raven needed to eat, but that seemed adequate.

"There's more food," he said.

The raven turned toward Suzaku, gave the dishes of food and water what could only be described as a disparaging glance, and then turned back around again.

Suzaku smiled. "I'm afraid I don't have any rotting flesh on me," he said.

Filthy creatures. The words reverberated in Suzaku's mind. This raven did not appear filthy. He looked clean and sleek with shiny wings.

(But appearances could be misleading.)

Suzaku sighed and laid across the floor, pushing past dirty shirts and balled up pants until he uncovered his old medical textbook. There was no use trying to fall asleep since he would probably get called in within two hours, but he could still get some studying done.

Ten pages. Suzaku heard a munching noise and smiled. Apparently, even this puffed-up raven could stoop down to birdseed.

Five pages. Suzaku felt a pressure on his back and turned his head. The raven was perched on his shoulder, eyes trained on the pages as if he was actually reading the text. Suzaku smiled.

"You like anatomy?" he asked, picking the raven up and placing him on the textbook.

There were two sketches on the page: one of a man and one of a woman. They were naked and lying supine in the anatomical position, arms outstretched and palms up. Smiles were etched into their faces as if saying, "Why, yes, I do enjoy lying naked and spread eagle. It's practically a pastime of mine." The raven stared at the images.

"They look pretty silly, don't they?" Suzaku said, giving a little half-smile.

The raven responded by pecking the man in the pubic region. Suzaku might have laughed if it weren't for the phone call.

Vision somewhat out of focus. Developing migraine in back of head. Slightly nauseated. Gino looked like he belonged in a Crest toothpaste commercial.

"How you holding up, buddy?"

Gino asked him this question over an unconscious body. It was pretty self-explanatory that you weren't supposed to chitchat during surgeries, but the supervising doctor didn't seem to really care. Plus, this wasn't a life or death sort of thing. The man was getting his uvula removed in order to save his marriage. (Yeah, apparently his snoring was thatbad).

Splendidly. Instead, Suzaku said, "I'm kind of considering killing myself."

Gino laughed good-naturedly. "Isn't there a Japanese way of doing that?"

"Yeah." Suzaku rubbed his left eye with a fist. "Seppuku. But I need a sword for that."

Gino handed him a scalpel.

Suzaku wondered if itchiness was a side effect of sleep deprivation. Every inch of his skin prickled – his hands, his legs, the backs of his eyelids. He was afraid if he started scratching, then he would get down to his bones.

He returned, of course. Eventually. He was not exactly sure if it was morning or night because the walk back had been a haze. When Suzaku opened the door, he thought he was seeing things.

The raven was sitting on the floor, waiting for him. Like a dog.

"Um," Suzaku said.

He did not start panting or wagging his feathers – that would have been too much. But he did take a few steps closer to him.

"Hi," Suzaku said, feeling slightly uneasy.

The raven cocked his head to the side and hobbled closer, so he was right in front of Suzaku. Then, he proceeded to rub against Suzaku's leg. Like a cat. The raven rubbed and rubbed, his beak opening and closing, his small black eyes filled with…affection? Suzaku couldn't help it: he laughed.

He laughed long and hard, and it sounded a little hysterical to his ears. The raven stopped rubbing, staring up at Suzaku with questioning eyes.

"I've…just had a long day," Suzaku said.

If Suzaku were in his right mind, he probably would have been more than a little worried that he was explaining himself to a bird. But he was not. He felt foggy, disconnected.

The raven was still staring at him, and Suzaku crouched down and picked him up. The bird did not resist. He was pliant and relaxed, continuing to give Suzaku a weird, fond look.

"You're a little strange," Suzaku said, shaking his head.

Surprisingly enough, Suzaku did not receive a call. He sat with the bird in his lap and watched the news (he learned it was morning), stroking the raven's wings as a fire engulfed a neighborhood. He could hear the crackling as the reporter talked.

Suzaku could feel his eyelids and head drooping, but he tried to stay awake. (One time he fell asleep and missed a call, and he was chewedout). It was while he was failing in this endeavor that he felt something soft caressing his cheek.

Suzaku's eyes snapped open. The raven was stroking his cheek with his uninjured wing. Suzaku laughed tiredly.

"You're like a mother hen," he murmured.

The raven continued to stroke. It was a relaxing motion, a soothing motion, and Suzaku closed his eyes, beginning to drift off again.

The feathers were so, so soft. It wasn't natural. Birds wings were supposed to be rather stiff, but this felt like down, like a pillow. So, so soft. The skin was warm, and Suzaku leaned into the palm. The fingers traced his cheekbones and ran down his chin. One passed down the slope of his nose, moved down to his Cupid's bow, down to his mouth. It prodded his lips apart and slipped inside…

Suzaku's eyes shocked open. The raven's wing was on his mouth, and the bird was studying his expression.

No. Suzaku shook his head. The bird was notstudying his expression. Why? Because he was a bird. Suzaku was just going insane.

That was all.

Gino handed him the wrong assignments again. Suzaku was not entirely sure why Gino was responsible for giving him his assignments in the first place, but he figured it had something to do with his one-year seniority.

Suzaku attended a lecture and looked at diseases on microscope slides before doing his rounds. Ran into Kallen. ("Tell Gino to stop mixing up the patients' files. I'm tired of covering for him.") Ran into Gino. ("Tell Kallen she's the apple of my eye!")

Next patient was Bentley Worthington. Middle age. Had hemorrhagic hemorrhoids. Nice. Especially with the added alliterative appeal. Suzaku opened the door.

"Goddamnit, Gino. Hah…ah…"

Needless to say, Suzaku was not greeted to the sight of a man with hemorrhagic hemorrhoids.

They didn't seem to notice he was there, continuing to suck off each other's faces, clothes half-off, minds half-on. Kallen's scrubs were blotted with blood, but Gino did not seem to mind, running his hands up and down her sides. She was moaning, one hand twisting the stethoscope around his neck, the other pulling at his braids.

Beside the bed, the heart monitor was on, and it was flatlining. Gino pushed Kallen against a table, and silver medical instruments fell and scattered. They did not stop. Did not even think to stop. Gino began to pull down her blood-spattered scrubs, and she let him.

Suzaku felt a pang of something and shut the door.

When no one was watching, Suzaku sat down in a corner and put his head between his knees.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"No," Suzaku snapped at his groin. "I feel like shit."

Suzaku's head whipped up when he heard the sharp intake of breath, and shit shit fuck fuck because standing before him was Euphemia, who was wearing the most apologetic expression known to mankind.

"I'm so sorry!" Suzaku spluttered. "I wasn't thinking! I just…" Suzaku trailed off. I just what? I just thought you were Gino for some inexplicable reason, but, if I'd known it was you, then I wouldn't have been a complete douchebag?

God, she had to think he was the biggestjerk.

But, for some inexplicable reason, Euphemia smiled at the biggest jerk, took a seat beside him, and said, "It's fine, Suzaku. I appreciate forthrightness."

Even in his embarrassment, Suzaku couldn't help but smile back. Her smiles were beautiful and contagious, lovely and genuine. Suzaku had seen her draw grins from even the sickest invalids, and he understood why.

"Aaah!"

Suzaku reluctantly broke eye contact with Euphemia to see an orange-haired nurse had fallen on her bottom, dropping a plethora of files in the process. Suzaku and Euphemia both stood up to help.

"No, I'll help Shirley," Euphemia said, holding out a hand when Suzaku started to walk toward the nurse who was currently scrabbling through the files. "You need to get back to — "

"Being in the fetal position?" Suzaku offered.

Euphemia giggled, and it sounded like bells. "You actually need to be lying on your side for it to be considered that," she said, her smile widening. "I'll see you around, Suzaku."

Consequentially, Suzaku's smile also widened. "Bye, Euphemia."

She shook her head, and her pink hair bounced against her shoulders. "Just Euphie," she said.

Euphie. It fit her. Suzaku watched as Euphie helped pick up files. She smiled brightly as she sorted through the mess and even said something to make the other nurse laugh.

There was a spring in Suzaku's step as he walked away.

Suzaku told the raven all about her.

"She's sweet," Suzaku said. "And kind. And beautiful."

The bird was seated on a cushion, completely motionless as Suzaku gushed. He did not act affectionately toward Suzaku like before, but Suzaku was too caught up in his enthusiasm to notice.

"She has inner and outer beauty."

The raven opened and closed his beak.

"I mean…she's just perfect."

The raven squawked, and thattook Suzaku aback. In all the time Suzaku had known bird, he had not made a single sound. When the cat cornered and mocked him, he was noiseless. When Suzaku bandaged his wing, he was as silent as the grave — not even a twitter. Whenever he greeted Suzaku, it was an inaudible welcome with open wings but no chirping, cheeping, tweeting, or chirruping. None of that.

The squawk was guttural, raucous, a harsh, discordant noise. It unnerved Suzaku. Whenever he thought of birds, he thought of their songs, their sweet melodies, but this sounded like a reproach or command.

Filthy creatures.

Suzaku shivered and shook the words from his head, extending his hand. "Hey," he said.

The raven bit him.

For a moment, Suzaku was paralyzed with disbelief, watching with incredulity as red bubbled and flowed from his index finger. It trickled down his palm, down his wrist, following veins and lines. The raven's beak was crimson.

Filthy creatures.

No. Suzaku's eyebrows furrowed, and he glared at the bird. The raven met his gaze levelly.

"Don't do that again," Suzaku said, voice soft yet firm.

The raven raised his beak in haughty defiance.

"Okay?" Even softer, less firm.

The raven lowered his beak. He stared at Suzaku, expression inscrutable.

"Okay?"

Slowly, gradually, the raven lifted a talon. It remained in the air for a long while, and the bird's bright, black eyes were locked with Suzaku's.

And, when he lowered it, Suzaku knew a contract had been sealed.

F-Day. Flying Day. The raven's wing had healed properly, and Suzaku removed the bandage. The raven fluttered around his apartment a bit, but the bird required the open skies for soaring.

It was time to set him free.

"You have to go now," Suzaku coaxed, but the bird stayed put. Initially, Suzaku was amused by the raven's stubbornness to stay, but it was downright aggravating now.

"C'mon," Suzaku said, nudging the bird with his hand. "You need to make other bird friends. You can't stay here with me."

The raven turned and shot him a look.

Suzaku couldn't help but smile. "Look," he said, "I'll miss you too, but you're better off if you go."

The raven flapped his wings, but did not fly. Suzaku frowned. The conditions were perfect. The sun had just risen, and the air was still. There was not a single cloud in the sky. No one was around.

Suzaku crouched lower and locked eyes with the bird. He placed one hand on the raven and raised his other one in the air. "You need to fly away," he whispered.

When Suzaku removed his hand, the raven flapped his wings and lifted off the pavement. Higher and higher. He was flying, past the lamppost, past the buildings. Higher and higher. He was soaring through the dawn sky, becoming a little black dot. Smaller and smaller. He was gone.

Suzaku smiled. He would miss that little bird.

Suzaku was about to go back to his apartment to get ready for another grueling day when the little black dot re-appeared. Bigger and bigger. Now a smudge coming steadily toward him. As it got closer, the shape became more defined. Feathers were outlined by the blue sky. A beak came into focus. Then eyes.

When the raven landed on Suzaku's arm, his first instinct was to push him off in frustration, but the bird began molting.

It was not normal molting, either. Feathers were shed at a frenzied pace, falling onto Suzaku's arm and drifting through the air before plunging to the pavement. Horrified, Suzaku tried to shake him off, but the raven's talons became human hands, and they latched onto his arm with a vice-like grip. Suzaku screamed, and the raven began to expand. Limbs stretched out like taffy, and the head began to inflate like a balloon.

Suzaku fell backward, and his head hit the pavement. The raven was becoming too large to hold. The feathers dissipated and morphed into skin. The eyes widened and changed colors. A nose formed out of nothing.

The creature leaned down, and the beak shrunk and smoothed into lips. The lips kissed Suzaku on the mouth, and Suzaku gasped. The lips laughed, revealing rows of white teeth.

Suzaku reached out and gripped gangly arms. He felt long legs straddling him. Violet eyes were gazing down at him, and a mouth was hovering over his face, beaming and beatific.

"I am eternally grateful, Suzaku Kururugi. Because of you, I can fly."

AN: I actually finished this earlier, but I accidentally deleted the document, and LJ screwed up my italics, so I had to re-edit it. :p

Thank you elarielf for reviewing, and thanks to everyone who favorited/put this on alert. The next chapter will switch back to present tense, so more questions will be answered…