Chapter One
A month later and I still hadn't adjusted to life outside of the undercover world. I had transferred from my old division into 15th – Sam and Andy McNally, the rookie he had gotten in trouble, were both still suspended from that division. That left open spots that needed to be filled. I took a street job and had no idea what I was doing with myself. My bleached hair was back to dark brown and I pretended a lot. I pretended I was happy and pleased. I pretended I fit in. I doubted anyone bought it.

Most days after shift I ended up at the Penny – the bar for coppers. I would have gone some place less popular but I was still newly off the streets. I felt at home in the dives and I couldn't go back to them anytime soon till people forgot about me.

I wasn't surprised to see Sam's scowling face in a corner booth. I ordered two Whiskey's before settling in across from him. I had one friend now. He was it.

Since he was my friend, I didn't mention he had seen better days. I didn't mention that he was wearing the same outfit he wore the last three days in a row and he was starting to smell. Actually, I had to say something about the smell.

"You smell gross," I uttered, forgoing hello and getting straight to the point. "You need to man up."

Sam chuckled, lifting the drink and saluting me with it. "Hello to you to, Sunshine. What brings your menacing face to my side?"

"Can it, Sam. You'll never change anything smelling like a dish rag."

The smile remained on his face, but it was an attempt to hide the pain. "Don't want to change anything, Parker. I like my life the way it is."

I rolled my eyes. "She's a moron and yes, we are going to have this conversation again. I don't understand how everyone else just pretends the elephant in the room doesn't exist. I do that with crooks. Not friends."

Sam sighed, shaking his head. "This is why you don't have friends."

"I've made you my friend." He didn't refute the statement so I hurdled on. "You need to concentrate on getting re-instated. Isn't that her plan? Once you aren't suspended-"

He interrupted me. "Once we're not suspended, we still will have to break rules to be together. She's told me more than once she doesn't want to lose her job. She wants to be a cop. I'm letting her do that."

I stared at him in disbelief. "Seriously, this has gone on for too long. The two of you have to stop pretending you are going to get over the other. You moon around over her and alienate everyone with your caustic wit whenever they even try to help you out regarding this." I lifted my hand up as he opened his mouth. "Don't bother interrupting me. I'm saying this yet again. You are miserable. She is equally miserable. Anytime I do see her she is at the gym beating up on some poor punching bag. Or she's here pretending not to drool over you."

"So," he drawled, his face giving away nothing.

"So?" I rolled my eyes. "So. Okay, let's move on to your good days. The days you pretend everything is the same as before but those days are followed by your bad days of non-washed clothes. The good days, with the last one being I don't know three days ago which is probably when you last changed, well those good days both of you happy and keep away from the other so you're not suspicious. You give each other secret smiles and pretend to still be at arm's length of each other."

His left eye twitched. "Can it, Parker. We're only friends."

"No, you're not. You can pretend all you want but you can never be just friends. If you two were just friends, she wouldn't hate the sight of me."

This made Sam let out a bark of laughter. "What? She doesn't hate you."

I smirked. "She does. I'm your buddy and I told Tracy I thought I wanted to sleep with you."

Unfortunately the statement caught him by surprise. The Whiskey spewed all over the table. "What?" he exclaimed. "You're nothing but trouble, kid."

I grabbed a napkin, cleaning up the mess. "Never said I wasn't. But I think getting her jealous is a good thing. Don't worry, this thing I have for you is all unrequited as I made sure to tell Tracy. It's good for your girl to think she has competition. Make her buck up and realize there are some rules you can bend."

He eyed me nervously. "You don't really, well-"

I wrinkled my nose. "That's like thinking dirty thoughts about my brother, if I had a brother. A big no. But she doesn't know that. She sees me as this hot chick trying for her man."

I lifted my drink in salute. "Speaking of your girl, she just arrived and is coming this way. She looks pretty pissy."

Sam looked up and even my heart had to melt at the intense look he gave Andy as she walked our way. The irritation on her face quickly disappeared. She stood at our table, tucking her hair behind her ears.
"Hey," she said softly, ignoring me.

"Hey," he replied.

"Hey," I added brightly. I loved playing matchmaker. "Want to join us Andy? Sam and I were talking about this restaurant we both wanted to try. The new Italian place? You should come too. It will be fun."

She looked at me startled, before the look was gone. "I wouldn't want to impose."

Sam glared at me. "You could never do that," he said softly, his gaze back on her.

I grinned cheekily. "Of course you should join us! Sammy and I would love it if you came."

Sam again turned to glare at me. "Watch it, Parker." He turned back to Andy. "Ignore her. She goes crazy when she's not out in the field. Plus, she doesn't have friends and thinks interfering in the lives of people she knows will make her endearing."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "I don't want to be endearing. I aim to be the crazy old woman you are forced to invite over for the holidays 'cause she helped you out when you were acting like an idiot and stopped washing your clothes."

I got up, motioning to my seat. "I'm going to get another round. Why don't you join us, Andy? What are you drinking?"

She shook her head, motioning to two other officers at 15th division. Chris Diaz and Dov Epstein. Decent cops for rookies. "I'm with my friends."

"I'm not that scary. They'll join us."

After practically pushing her into the seat, I crossed the room to Chris and Dov. Dov's eyes widened as he saw me approach. I may have been a little hard on him the last time we rode together. It wasn't my fault though. It had been a bad day.

"Hey," I said, forcing myself to smile. I had trouble with other cops since I had trouble trusting people period. "Andy wants you guys to come join Sam and me at our table." I stuffed my hands into my jean pockets. Again, I liked crooks better. Playing a part was so much easier than trying to be me. "So, come join us." They continued to look at me. "Please?" I added on.

Chris seemed to take pity on me. He was too nice of a guy to let me continue to stand there like an idiot. "Yeah, sure. Of course we'll join you guys."

Dov on the other hand wasn't so accommodating. "Won't that be awkward? You, Andy and Sam? I don't want a part in that love triangle."

"I don't know what you are talking about. First round is on me."

Dov shrugged. "Fine with me then."

I headed to the bar for the drinks. Surprisingly Chris came with me.

"Someone has to help you carry the drinks," he said, answering my unasked question with a sweet grin. As we waited to be served, he leaned closer. "Andy's my friend. A good friend."

I looked back at the unassuming man. I arched an eyebrow, noting the steel in his eyes. There was more to him than the by-the-book man he portrayed. "Good to know."

I turned back to the bar, but his grip on my arm had me turning to look into his frosty blue eyes. "I'm saying this once. She's been through a lot lately. She doesn't need you messing up well, messing up whatever."

I invaded his space, my greens eyes lighting up at his antagonistic tone. I had missed my fighting with Boyd. The arguments fueled me to do the best I could. For now I would settle for sparring words with the rookie. "What exactly are you implying, Diaz?" Then I remembered this wasn't the me I was pretending to be. I was playing by the rules now. I smiled my "aren't I pretty and dumb" smile and took a step back. "If you are trying to say something about Sam and me, there is nothing going on between the two of us. We're just friends."

Chris frowned. "I hope that's true."

I rolled my eyes. "Relax. I'm not trying to make waves here."

"And if she was, you'd certainly know it." I slowly turned to my left, taking in Boyd's tired blue eyes, his scruffy beard and most importantly him. I didn't want to feel anything but anger and distrust. Damn emotions. "Parker. You look good."

"Humph," I grunted, abruptly turning from him. I smacked my hand on the bar. "What the hell does it take to get drinks around here! Come on, barkeep, pick it up!"

Boyd pushed his way beside me, leaning against the bar to stare at me. "Settle down, Gabby. It's not the bartender's fault I'm here."

"Sam will be pissed when he sees you," I retorted. "And don't call me Gabby."

He moved closer, dipping his head down so only I would hear what he had to say. Instinctively, I leaned closer as nonchalantly as I could. It was as if I was undercover again, waiting for his instructions on what to do next. "Parker, I need your help with something. It's big. Really big."

My heart pounded. A job. It's what I lived for. "Boyd, I can't." I stared into his closed off expression. "Not without knowing what happened. I just, I just can't."

He looked away as I ordered the drinks from the bartender. He paid for the order before I had time to react. "I know. I'll tell you what you need to know but not now. It's big." He cleared his throat. "If you're interested, come to my place."

He started to leave but I couldn't just let him go. I grabbed his arm. "You should talk to him. He needs to know why as well. Especially now."

Boyd frowned. "Don't push, Parker. And stop flirting with Sam. You're driving McNally crazy."

I snorted. "I'm attempting to fix them so they can get over their issues and get together." I arched an eyebrow, slowly smirking. Again, all the problems were fading from my mind. I could only remember the good times and not what brought us here in the first place. "Are you jealous, Donnie?"

"Can it, Parker. I shouldn't have bothered you."

I moved closer. "I'll be there. Give me an hour."

He nodded, before hurrying away. I stared after him, unsure of what secrets he would tell me. But I had to know.