"Does it still hurt?"

The ice pack was freezing on my hands but it was doing it's job of numbing my crotch.

I looked up at Stan, "I dunno. I'm all numb."

He pulled my head over to his face and pecked me on the forehead. "I'm just glad it doesn't hurt anymore."

Suddenly, a lunch sack was tossed on our table and Kenny plopped down right in front of us.

"Hey guys! Kyle, how's your nuts?"

"Busted." I muttered.

"No way! Really?"

Stan rolled his eyes, "No, not really. He's fine."

"Oh, okay" Kenny said as he began to pull out his lunch. It looked like a slice of bologna on dry bread. Silently, I grabbed my tater tots off my tray and slide them over to Kenny. He didn't acknowledge where they came from and he began munching on them. That's how it always works with Kenny. I can't make giving him food a big deal or he won't accept it. And that's fine with me because it isn't a big deal.

"Ky?" Stan grabbed my arm.

"What?" I shook his arm off, "I'm trying to eat my sandwich while holding an ice pack to my dick. What do you want?"

"I could hold the ice pack for you, Kyle." Kenny said with a smirk.

Stan shot him a glare, "I was just wondering if we were still on for tonight."

"On for banging?"

I rolled my eyes, "No. Well maybe. Depends. We were gonna play Bioshock tonight."

Stan grabbed my arm again, "We still are right? I want to finally get that stupid girl."

Shit. I have to tell him that I'm going over to Wendy's for some unknown reason after school. Hopefully whatever the hell she wants won't take up too much time. Then I can just run over to Stan's and play Bioshock. And other stuff.

"Yeah," I started easing into the news. "We're still gonna do that. It's just I won't be able to come over right after school."

Stan rose his eyebrow, "Why? You have a debate meeting or something?"

Ha. Even if I had a debate team meeting, I skip it. I fucking hate debate team. My mom made me sign up because, "It'll look good to colleges, bubbe! Besides you argue all the time, by now you must be a pro." Well, she wasn't wrong. I am really good on debate team; I've won our team five consecutive competitions. But I fucking hate the people on the debate team. Cartman is on the team and I hate him for obvious reasons. Wendy is on the team and I hate her because she's always trying to show me up while pretending to care about my feelings. And Token is on the team too. And he's fucking douchebag. He's only on the team to get another shot at Wendy. But anyway.

"Uh, no. But I'm going to Wendy's right after school."

Stan looked at me like he just found out that I was his cousin. "Why?" He questioned, bewildered.

"She asked me to come over. She said she needed to talk to me."

"She wants to bone you." Kenny deadpanned.

Stan chucked his milk at Kenny, which he dodged gracefully. "No, she does not."

"I bet you she does. That's why he wants him to come over. To talk. Talking never really means talking. Just like watching netflix never means watching netflix."

"Come on Kenny, no she does not. Besides, she sounded pretty serious. I bet she just wants to talk about valedictorian stuff." I said and stuffed the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth.

"Do you think she'll ask you to back down?" Stan asked and bit his lip. Okay, holy crap that was cute. Does he try to do that?

I shrugged, "I dunno maybe."

He started running his hands through my hair. God, if there's one way to put me in a good mood, it's playing with my hair. I smiled and made a happy 'mmm' sound.

"Will you two stop fucking in public?" Cartman slammed his tray down and sat next to Kenny.

I decided to ignore him. If that fat bastard thinks that he can get away with nailing me in the groin, then he is sadly mistaken.

Stan on the other hand, indulged him. "We're not fucking." He said as he continued to run his fingers through my hair.

"Then why is the Jew making sex noises?"

Stan shook his head, "Those aren't sex noises." He paused for a second and smiled, "I would know. Huh, Kyle?" He tried to grab my side while I batted him away, scowling.

"Gross." Cartman stated.

Stan went back to playing with my curls, "Those are his happy noises. He's purring."

I turned to look at him, "I do not fucking pur."

"Oh yes, you do!"

I glared at him and stuck out my tongue. He smirked, grabbed my face and pulled my lips to his.

"Sick!" Cartman screeched.

I pulled away from Stan and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wendy staring at our table. She had this sort of disappointed look on her face.

"Do you think Wendy's homophobic?" I asked.

Stan looked confused and taken back by the question. He turned to look at Wendy, who was sitting two table behind us. She had turned away from looking at us and was having, what seemed to be an intense conversation with Bebe. "No. What makes you say that?" He questioned.

I shrugged, "Nothing, I guess."

Cartman let out a laugh, "Ha! He's just jealous. The kike thinks that Tittyburger wants you back, probably. But you don't have to worry about that Kyle. She's a hoe!"

"No, she's not Cartman. And she doesn't want me back," Stan said with a glare and began stroking my hair again, "Besides, I've got Ky, here."

"Also, you're gay." Kenny piped up. "If she even wanted to get back with you, you wouldn't say yes because you're gay."

"Well, yeah. That too."

Stan and I never really discussed sexually with anyone when we first came out.. We just said we were together. The words "I'm gay" never actually came out of our mouths. Until about a year ago, that is. I don't know what happened but suddenly, Stan would just randomly bring up his sexuallity in conversation. Then after that, everyone decided it was okay if they brought up the fact that Stan was gay in casual conversation. Stan seemed comfortable with it and even proud. I think he's actually proud to be they only openly gay sporty type kid. I think he sees himself as a role model to all the closeted kids. Which isn't a bad thing.

Me on the other hand...I don't talk about it. All anyone knows for sure is that I'm with Stan. And that's the way I want it. Because, to be honest, I don't really know what I am. I mean, girls are good looking. The idea of boobs and vagina are equally appealing. I mean, I've never fucked a girl but I think I'd like it. I've watched porn and it looks just as appealing as the gay porn Stan has. So maybe I'm bi? All I know for sure is that I love Stan.

Cartman snorted, "Stan's gayer than gay! He's a raging faggot! I'm sure he rams the Jew's ass twice a day."

I swiftly kicked him underneath the table, causing him to cry out in pain.

"What the fuck, Kyle?"

I started to get up from the lunch table, "I don't have to listen to your crap, Cartman. You're racist, sexist and homophobic and I can't fucking stand to be around you. That's what the fuck." I angrily snatched my tray off the table.

Cartman faked astonishment, "What? So I'm homophobic because I'm talking about yours and Stanley's relationship?"

Stan, ever the mediator, cut in while pinching the bridge of his nose, "No, Cartman. You're homophobic because you called me a faggot. And because you described our sexual relationship in a negative and demeaning way."

I don't know how he can explain this crap to that lardass so calmly, even though he clearly knows what he's doing.

"Well you are a faggot. And I'm sure you do ram Kyle's tight little ass. That is, if there's any extra room with that pole that's already up there." Cartman said cheekily.

Stan narrowed his eyes and went to kick Cartman just like I had, except he nailed him right in balls. Hard.

Cartman screamed in pain, drawing everyone in the cafeteria's attention.

"That's for hurting Kyle." Stan spat and quickly got up and went with me to put our trays.

Even after all these years, Cartman is still the biggest douchebag I know.