"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls to Survivor: Justice League Unlimited Edition, I'm your host Joker," announced the Joker the next day.
"I'm your Co-Host Harley Quinn," shrieked Harley
"We have split our contestants in to two teams," continued the Joker "Mostly because I've always wanted to them fight each other…Why don't you explain how we split them Harls?"
"Of course Mistah J, yesterday folks we put them through a special personality quiz that I made up," said Harley proudly "Out poured the perfect teams, if I do say so myself!"
Harley's Confessional
"I am actually qualified to do that, I used to be a psychologist, until I met my muffin Mistah J."
"The teams, my dear audience, are Batsy, Big Blue Boyscout, Fish Boy, Angel, Birdie and Non-Leaguer versus Faceless, Usaine Bolt, Mr. Military, Marvin, Her Majesty, Houdini and Robin Hood," said the Joker laughing… once again.
The heroes moved in to their teams.
Batman's Confessional
"Great I'm stuck Kent and Aquaman," said Batman "At least; Kent's powers can actually do something…"
Green Lantern's Confessional
"At least I'm away from Shayera," said GL "Mari would kill me if I was near her."
"You realize your girlfriend is a controlling bimbo, right?" said the cameraman.
"Today we have a two-part challenge," said the Joker "The first is dodge ball, and I give you thirty second to get ready. Sound the bell Harley!"
Then the game began, and well it was a massacre. Team 2 had a clear advantage.
A: Flash gathered up all the balls before anyone could blink.
B: J'onn can phase through stuff thus he can't get hit.
Also Zantanna could make balls follow you around until the hit you and Green Arrow had special trick arrows that turned into dodge balls.
Team 1 lost horribly… Aquaman got hit first and accidently took Superman with him. One of the balls got stuck in Hawkgirl's mace and when she electrified it, Joker disqualified her for "harm of equipment." Batman, Huntress and Black Canary lasted for a bit but then Canary was distracted by Green Arrow and a ball caught the edge of her foot.
The last lost was the most heart breaking, John threw one ball it hit Huntress who was too busy flirting with Q to notice it coming, Batman dove valiantly trying to catch the ball but at last moment the ball moved out of his reach, almost as if by magic.
It was magic; Zantanna had moved the ball at the last second.
Zantanna's Confessional
"I couldn't let them win," she said earnestly "Especially not Bruce, he would never let me live it down. Now he's going to kill me for making him look bad in front of Diana."
"Alright now kiddies after that horrible display of skills by Batsy's team we move on to our next challenge 'Capture the Flag'!" said Joker
"What these heroes have to do, Mistah J, is run across to the other side and capture the flag," explained Harley Quinn "They have three minutes in their bases to plan."
Team 2's base
"Flash, get the flag," said Question "If he somehow gets caught J'onn you phase through the ground and get the flag, everyone else defense."
They nodded at Q; he was the best tactician out off all of them, including GL.
Team 1's base
"We need a distraction," said Shayera "I nominate Aquaman."
"Why do I have to do it?" asked Aquaman "Why can't Canary or Huntress do it?"
"Because I like them," explained Shayera
"Superman?" tried Aquaman
"Because he can fly and isn't useless," said Shayera
"Why can't Batman do it? He doesn't have powers," said Aquaman obviously fishing (lol get it)
"Because," said Batman without a hint of a smile "I'm Batman."
"START!" yelled Harley and the game began.
The game went exactly the way Question had foreseen.
Superman who was guarding the flag did end up stopping Flash, Team 1 was spared that humiliation again, however Superman was so excited about that he didn't even notice J'onn phase the flag away.
Team 2 had gotten Aquaman the moment he had stepped over the line.
As soon as J'onn rematerialized on his side a large gong sounded.
"TEAM 2 WINS AGAIN," yelled Joker into his megaphone "SEE YOU AT THE ELIMINATION BATSY!"
Batman's Confessional
"I blame Kent."
Superman's Confessional
The Kryptonion was…sobbing "I'M SORRY OKAY!" he yelled.
That night at the beach on the Island, Team 2 had gathered to say goodbye to one of their own. It was a somber occasion. Superman was watching Aquaman frolic in the water, Huntress and Black Canary were gossiping about their boyfriends while Shayera eavesdropped creepily. Then Joker and Harley arrived on a motorcycle with an envelope in Harley's hand.
"Well Team 1," began the Joker "You lost the challenges today which means one of you will be going home tonight. Drumroll please Harley!"
Harley started playing the bongos that she had found somewhere.
"BIG BOY BLUE! You have been voted off by your team you get a minute to say goodbye!" said the Joker
Superman looked flabbergasted he only had one question "Why? I thought you would've chose Aquaman."
"Hey! Why me?" asked Aquaman.
"Because you're useless," replied Superman.
"You're too much of a threat," said Shayera.
"Ditto," replied Huntress and Canary.
"Hey, don't look at me, I voted for Batman," said Aquaman.
"Why?" asked everyone including the clowns.
"He wouldn't be the distraction," said Aquaman as he pouted like a five year old.
"Well I guess Aquaman is my only true friend on this team," lamented Superman "Why did you vote for me, Batman?"
"You're too nice," replied the dark knight before getting up and walking off.
With that adieu from his friend, Superman got onto the boat and sailed into the sunset hopefully back to Metropolis (The Joker is involved we have no idea where he's going.)
"There you have it folks, Stupidman has left the show hope you enjoyed," said the Joker.
"See you next time on Survivor: JLU Edition!" shrieked Harley.
(Vote on who you think should be eliminated next by sending me a private message,, or by review)