*I don't own CATS or any of the characters!

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When I heard the news, I shuddered and fell to my knees, unable to believe it.

For all of the havoc that Macavity wrought on the junkyard, I could not believe—no, did not want to believe—that Macavity was capable of murder.

I ran from the scene, burdened with the knowledge that I had and burdened by the war inside. I knew what had happened. I wanted to find Macavity and force him to tell everyone what he had done. Perhaps they'd be generous if Macavity confessed his faults.

After running far away from where most of the tribe was congregated, I slumped against a tire. Tears raced down my face, each one trying to catch the other. I let out a broken cry. I could settle it all once and for all. Cassandra's death could be avenged and Macavity, perhaps, would see the error of his ways and start over. That was possible, right?

Above all things, I wanted to believe that that would be possible but deep inside I knew that Macavity wouldn't learn. Wasn't that the moral of all of this? For years, I'd forgiven him for things he'd done. For years, I'd passed off his increasingly dangerous behavior as play. And all of that had culminated in murder.

"Demeter…"

I looked up to find Munkustrap peering down at me. I turned away, not wanting him to see that I'd been crying.

"I take it that you've heard-." He started cautiously and I slammed my paw hard into a piece of scrap metal. "Alright then…" he whispered, slumping down beside me. "You've heard about it, then."

"Who hasn't?" I thought to myself, spite lacing the words as they came to mind.

"Everyone has." I replied, hopeless. "And yet, no one has heard the truth."

Munkustrap sighed. "I suppose that you're wondering if we should tell someone."

"No. I know that we should. But I don't know if we could." I managed, wiping away tears. "Macavity… he's…"

"Despicable?"

"Yes."

"Cruel?"

I nodded.

"Demie, I think that we all have known that Macavity is capable of horrible things-."

"Of course we've known. But murdering a hopeless, sweet kitten like Cassandra?" I gasped. "That is what this is, isn't it? Murder."

Another sigh. "If we have to give it a name, I suppose that it is."

"And what if we don't want to give it a name?"

Munkustrap was silent for a moment. "It'd still be murder; we'd just be refusing to admit it."

"Macavity wasn't always like this…" I whispered, shaking my head.

"No, but who is?" Munkustrap replied. "And things change. People change. Heavyside knows that you and I have changed since we were kits-."

"Yes, but we're not like… we're not like Macavity." I gulped. "Or are we?" I added after a moment's pause.

"You're nothing like Macavity, Demie." He sighed. "And yet, I suppose that you think that it's our fault that he's turned out the way he has."

"No. Not our fault. My fault."

Munkustrap looked over at me but didn't say anything.

"You've always been quick to tell Macavity when he was doing something wrong but I… I never could bring myself to."

"Believe me, I haven't done everything I could do either."

"But-."

He took in a shaky breath and smiled at me sadly. "There are so many things that he's done that I should have gone to our father about but I never did. I said that I would but I didn't. Empty threats can only go so far. I suppose that after a while Macavity stopped taking me seriously—figured out what my game was—because he slowly started to just not care."

"He's never cared, Munkustrap." I replied weakly, trying to console my friend. "You can't blame yourself-."

"There was a time in which he did care about others, Demie. Believe me, there was."

"Yes, but he was always…"

"A little aloof?" Munk filled in for me and I nodded.

"I suppose so."

"I don't suppose that aloofness is wrong." He chuckled lightly. "He did—does—care for some things though, Demie."

"I haven't seen a caring side to him in well over a year, Munk." I sighed, shaking my head.

Munkustrap smiled knowingly. "He cares about you, Demie."

I looked over at Munkustrap and shook my head fiercely. "I-I don't want him to care about me. His care means nothing but trouble and-."

"Perhaps not." He nodded. "But I take some comfort in it."

"Comfort?" I gaped at him. "What comfort is to be found in that? Even if he does care about me as you claim it didn't stop him from killing Cassandra, Munk."

"No, but I think that it means that there's some hope to be found in it. I suppose that I think that it means that he's not altogether a villain as we sometimes think he is."

I heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, I don't see what any of this means. I don't know what we're supposed to do nor what we can do."

"It does seem pretty hopeless, doesn't it?" Munkustrap nodded, offering me a small grin.

"More than hopeless."

Munk's eyes lit up a little as he looked over at me. "I find that hard to imagine. I can't imagine anything worse than hopelessness."

"There's emptiness. I think that's worse." I replied, shaking my head. "That's how I feel: empty."

When I looked over at Munkustrap, he was smiling and I stared at him, baffled at how he could possibly be smiling after what had happened this morning.

"Well, Demie." Munkustrap chuckled, nudging me up to my feet. "Come on, I think that I can help with the emptiness."

"Where are we going?" I asked, following along reluctantly.

"Don't worry about that. You trust me, don't you?"

"More than I trust anyone around here." I thought to myself but I merely shrugged in response.

"Good." Munk laughed. "You'll see soon enough, I imagine."

"I won't hate you for whatever it is you're planning?"

"I hope not." He chuckled. "It'd be a downright shame if I lost yet another friend."

"You have plenty of friends." I pointed out, continuing to follow close behind him.

"I have plenty of friends who call me their friend and tread so cautiously around me that it feels almost as if they're afraid of me." He replied. "And I don't have enough friends like you."

"Like me?"

He smiled. "Yes, like you. Come on, we're almost there."

"Almost where?" I inquired again but all he offered me was a small smile.

"Patience, Demie."

"It's awfully hard to be patient in the light of all that has happened today. We still have to figure out how we're going to deal with Macavity-."

"We'll figure that out later. For now, we need to fill that emptiness that you feel."

"I rather think that's a secondary thing…" I murmured.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, Demie, but I think that it will be nigh impossible to come to a good conclusion on what we should do if you feel empty." He smiled. "It's no good working at something that will come to naught. Sometimes it's best to set a task aside for a little while so that you can regain yourself."

"This is more than just a 'task', Munk."

Munkustrap stopped walking and looked at me, cocking his head a little to the side. "We'll figure out what to do about Macavity. I promise. But just for a few moments I want you to forget about all of that and just to breathe. Macavity won't hurt anyone else while we take a moment to boost your spirits."

"But what if-?"

"Macavity's not that stupid, Demie." Munk reassured me. "And I intend to figure out some way to stop Macavity before he does do something again."

And, in faith I nodded.

###

Riddled with the horrible fear that, at any moment, Macavity might do something, I proceeded with life cautiously, always keeping a watchful eye on Macavity. And somehow he seemed better and kinder. As if Cassandra's death had kicked some sort of remorse into him. This eased my worry a little but Munkustrap was more on guard than ever.

"Perhaps he's changed, Munk." I whispered to him as we watched from a hidden little perch above where Macavity was chasing around some of the younger kittens in playful activity. "He hasn't done anything in weeks, Munkustrap."

I'd always known Munkustrap to be forgiving and quick to believe that someone could change for the better and yet, when it came to his brother, he seemed oddly tense and unsure. There was a skip of anxiety in the way he walked and it worried me.

"Munk, really-."

"Demie, I don't trust him. I… I don't see how anyone can. It's almost as if he's waiting for an opportune moment to strike."

I sighed. "I don't think-."

He shot me a look that was full of weariness and stress.

"Alright. We can continue to watch out for any signs of misstep." I replied quietly. "But it makes me so tired to always be glancing over my shoulder looking out for absolutely anything that he might do."

Munkustrap let out a soft sigh. "I know. Just… I want to keep an eye on him for a little longer." He whispered. "We can manage that, can't we?"

I hesitated a moment and nodded. "Just a little longer."

He smiled. "I promise. Only just a little longer."