PRODUCTION/CULTURAL REFERENCES (written on 2/16/15)
-Yes, I am 100% aware that I should have done this months ago but in the interim, I completely forgot about it. I actually believed I had written this until a person who reviewed the episode pointed it out to me so here we go.
-Despite being the second episode aired, "Sparky's Big Hit" was actually the first episode written for season two. I remember finishing it within three days, which is unbelievably short given how much time I would spend now on a given episode and procrastinating more than I should. I started writing it on Labor Day, about a month before the episode's airdate, and since it was a cover episode, I knew exactly what I intended to do going in and didn't have to spend too much time on it. Because I knew it was not going to be the season premiere ("To Be or Not to Be a Role Model" and eventually "Fourth Grade Friday" was the intended opener), I wrote it in a way that regarded continuity. For example, Jaylynn is in this episode as a member of Testicular Sound Express because chronologically, she was given membership in "Fourth Grade Friday." There is one mistake I made that ignored continuity, though. Sanna is shown in this episode despite it being mentioned in the season premiere that she transferred to another school. I realized this too late and had to give her role to Ashley after the episode had already aired.
-Why did this episode even come about? Simple. "Arthur's Big Hit," to this day, is arguably the absolute worst episode in the history of Arthur. I thought that when I first saw it and I was younger, I thought that when I came up with the idea for this episode, and I still think it now. I have seen literally nobody defend "Arthur's Big Hit," not even the biggest fans. You want to know how bad this episode is? The Mysterious Mr. Enter, an animation critic on YouTube, actually panned this episode on his web series Animated Atrocities. I hate badmouthing any show I love but it had to be said. This episode is terrible. I decided to make a cover episode. You know how artists have been covering original songs for years? Well, this is my television take on it. This is not like taking the episode's template and putting my own spin on it, I am using the exact same plot/story/structure and trying to rectify the mistakes that episode made. At the time, I was focusing on the biggest problem in the episode: Arthur is treated as the antagonist throughout the entire runtime. Yes, it does not make sense to hit people because they did something wrong, but D.W. deserved it. The show's fan base agrees with me too when it comes to a four-year-old girl getting hit. D.W. ignored Arthur on purpose and knew what she was doing was wrong, but she did it anyway. She gets punished for what she did. Good! Then the episode turns into Arthur being treated like a monster because he hit a little girl after being provoked.
-You see, it makes sense for Arthur's parents (to an extent) to not even care that D.W. broke Arthur's model plane and get into this situation through her own actions. They pamper her so much already, it is almost expected for them to be this stupid. Also, keep in mind that we never see how David and Jane deal with D.W. after what she did, and the episode just wants us to be cool with that. It only gets worse from there. All of Arthur's friends criticize his decision and say that he's wrong. They know D.W. is annoying and a horrible sister at times, but they forget about all of that because a little girl got hit. Buster, Francine, Muffy, all of them. This is not about Arthur hitting D.W. This is about Arthur hitting D.W. because she touched his model plane after being told not to, broke it behind his back, and was completely unapologetic when Arthur found out. She even accused him of building it wrong even though it is a model plane and it CANNOT FLY. Then the episode adds Binky in some weird subplot to hit Arthur the next time he sees him after being dared by the Tough Customers. Okay, now I know what this episode is trying to do. It is clearly not trying to tell you that D.W. deserved to get hit (even though that direction would be better), but clumsily handling it, it is telling you that hitting is wrong. Then teach that moral with someone else. Francine, Binky, not Arthur. Someone who is actually aggressive and will lash out when it is unnecessary, not someone who is usually diplomatic but was clearly being pushed to the edge.
-Binky hits Arthur, and then what happens? Arthur's dad tells him that D.W. felt hurt the same way Arthur felt hurt. WHAT?! Binky just punched your son for no reason and you want this to become a stupid morality tale about karma? Nope. When Arthur finally explains to her that model planes cannot fly, she responds with this beautiful gem: "Well, I'm only four years old. Give me a break!" You are a master manipulator and a sociopath who clearly knows more than you should, and you want us to let what you did slide because of your age? D.W. knows better than that, so that is not an excuse. This episode is absolute garbage and gets nothing right about the extremely simple lesson. The wrong guy is punished, Binky's addition is nonsensical, everybody acts out-of-character towards D.W., and Arthur learns a dangerous lesson that he should not stand up for himself when it counts. Just writing about this episode makes me want to vomit. Explain to me how Joe Fallon, one of Arthur's finest writers, constantly made mistakes like this during his time on the show. Explain to me how the writing staff handled 9/11, dyslexia, cancer, Aspergers and Alzheimer's Disease with more grace than this train wreck. Also, this episode is not very entertaining. Little wit or humor to be found to counteract the terrible execution of this lesson. Keep in mind that this episode was the season four premiere, when Arthur was in its prime and on track to having a run comparable to The Simpsons in ITS prime. It gets scarier to think about. Also, D.W.'s character just got worse after this episode by the way.
-Now that my rant about that awful, awful episode is over, let's focus on the cover. The most important thing to me was that the episode ends with Sparky coming out on top. I was not going for a moral about how violence is wrong, I was trying to make sure Sparky's actions were justified and that Bitch Clock deserved everything he got.
-I'm going to be honest here: I do not like this episode anymore. While I did at the time, after watching Mr. Enter's review and looking at the cover again, I noticed a lot of problems. The cover followed the exact same beats as the original, and outside of Wade telling off the other characters about how they treated Sparky, nothing else really changes. The whole point was to replicate the original episode while fixing up the flaws, but in doing that, I only focused on the biggest problem in my opinion: Punishing the wrong person. I ended up ignoring other problems like Arthur not telling D.W. enough not to touch the plane, Arthur being treated like an antagonist for the entire runtime and the unnecessary inclusion of an outside character. While I did technically do what I set out to do with this episode and have Sparky win in the end, I felt like I barely played around with the plot and had very little to add or say outside of a couple gags and junk. Do I hate it? No. But does it come off as a missed opportunity now? Yeah, it does. I ended up writing a way better cover episode later in season two entitled "Quadruple Date," which was actually an affectionate parody of the season two episode "Triple Date" from Full House. Check it out if you can. It felt more like an original episode to me like this one did.
-The biggest beneficiary of this episode is Bitch Clock. This was the episode that forever changed his character. Up to this point, Bitch Clock was meant to be an antagonist for Sparky, an uncaring asshole who's sole purpose was to irritate and bully the person who owned him. After this episode, I felt very uncomfortable going back to that original characterization. He had to have learned something from the beating. So I decided to instead turn him into an off-beat protagonist who treated Sparky more like a brother and someone who he could help whenever necessary. In conclusion, I am glad this episode exists because I like Bitch Clock more in his current state.
-The One Direction/Beatles RoundTable was originally there with the rest of the episode, but it got deleted along with the original scene of Bitch Clock being attacked. It will never be rewritten because, is there really a point? RoundTable was meant to be relevant to the events of that certain time so it will just come off as unnecessary now. You get the lightning in a bottle once and then move on.
-If there was one joke I wish I could change, it's when Sparky says the model plane is the best thing he's ever made and RK replies with: "Try talking to me about that when I'm in the bathroom." I was going for toilet humor there, but the way RK puts it does not make any sense.
-Bitch Clock says "Sierra Tango 434" in reference to CM Punk's 434-day reign as WWE Champion from November 20, 2011-January 27, 2013. He then says "Sac-Town 2007" in reference to Cimorelli's original hometown and the year the group was founded. This was when I was still obsessed with them.
-Sparky yelling "I'M NOT THE GUY!" repeatedly is a reference to the season three Drake and Josh episode "Theater Thug." Josh plays a criminal called the "Theater Thug" on a reenactment on TV, and everybody starts believing he's the real criminal and calling the cops, prompting him to constantly say "I'M NOT THE GUY!"
-I wanted to inject a little humor into Sparky beating Bitch Clock, hence the Miley Cyrus montage and Justin Roberts' guest appearance. Roberts was a former ring announcer for WWE, and my personal favorite.
-Wade saying that Sparky gets no TV for a week and Sparky acknowledging the lack of sense in that statement is a meta-reference to the original episode, when Arthur's dad punishes him with no TV for a week.
-Will references the Charles Dickens novel Great Expectations when Manny asks him if he's trying to avoid Sparky.
-One thing I absolutely wanted to do in this episode is use "Don't Believe the Hype," because it makes perfect sense to. This is also another case of regarding continuity, as the radio show introduced in "Fourth Grade Friday" is included here.
-When leaving the school with Will's pen, Sparky references the song "No New Friends" by Drake.
-Will's last line references a scene in the season one Everybody Hates Chris episode "Everybody Hates Fat Mike," when Chris imagines what his mom will do to him when she finds out his bike was stolen and that he let somebody else ride it.