Song of Inspiration: Icarus by Bastille

Icarus is flying too close to the sun

Icarus' life is only just begun

This is how it feels to take a fall

Icarus is flying towards an early grave

"Where are we?" Katrina asked, "Did I get it right?"

"Not Lansing Michigan," Castiel said, "Actually, I don't even think we're in Michigan."

Katrina hung her head in shame, "This is harder than I expected." They had been working on this for over two weeks now. She hadn't expected it to take so long to master. Castiel seemed to do it effortlessly.

"Don't worry," Castiel said reassuringly, "It is only logical that longer distances should be harder for you. You mastered shorter distances quickly enough. This will take more time." It had turned out to be a very tricky thing, teaching something that he had always been able to do by instinct. He never had to learn how to fly, he just always knew.

"Well when it was a shorter distance, I could always picture something specific," Katrina said, frustrated, "like, 'that spot over there,' or 'outside of the bar two blocks away.' Now it's just 'Lansing Michigan!' It's just a word! I have nothing to picture!"

"Yes, yes I understand. Here, I will try something. Close your eyes."

Katrina did as she was told.

"Now, I'm going to reach out to you."

"Reach out to me? What do you mean you're right next to-"

Then she felt it, a presence brushing up against her mind. Her breath stopped. She didn't even know it was possible to feel with her mind. The presence pushed harder.

"Let me in Katrina," she heard Castiel say. Although, she wasn't even sure if she had heard it from outside or inside of her own head. "Relax."

Katrina exhaled, lowering her defenses. The presence enveloped her mind, like a warm blanket. She smiled. It was then that she could really tell it was Castiel. There was no other way to describe it except that it was pure Castiel. It was shockingly intimate. She felt as if her soul was exposed. Castiel pulled back, making a shiver run down Katrina's spine at the sudden absence.

"Alright," Castiel said, "Now remember that, and search for me."

Katrina nodded, concentrating on stretching out her awareness. It took her a while, but eventually she managed to locate Castiel. But just as she made contact with his consciousness, he slipped away from her grasp. She frowned, confused, reaching out again. This time she found him more quickly. Again, he slipped away. Now she was beginning to get frustrated. She sent out her awareness in a burst. She found Castiel once more and concentrated on keeping the contact.

"Open your eyes Katrina." Katrina did so, surprised to find that Castiel was nowhere in sight.

"Uh... Castiel?"

"Now, fly to me."

"What? But I dont even know where you are!" Katrina wondered if it was even necessary to speak out loud.

"Just as you said before, you now have something specific to fly to. So hone onto my location and fly to me."

Katrina sighed, doubting that it would work. But she did what Castiel said, concentrating on his presence, willing herself to be by his side. When she thought she was ready, she stretched her wings and flew.

When she landed, she was surrounded by orange and red rock. She did not, however, see Castiel.

"Damnit..." she sighed.

"Good job," a voice said from behind her. She spun around to see Castiel smiling at her. She grinned triumphantly.

"Where are we?"

"You don't recognize it? It's the Grand Canyon."

"Oh, I've never been..." Katrina looked around her in awe. They were at the bottom of the enormous gorge. The colors were beautiful. "It's gorgeous…"

"Yes, I think so too," Castiel nodded, "I come here often to think."

"Ahh," Katrina said, "So that's where you go."

"Most of the time, yes."

"Where were we before?"

"Somewhere in North Carolina."

"Wow," Katrina gaped, "That's all the way across the country. How did I find you so quickly? You didn't feel that far away at all."

"Because for beings such as us, such distances are trivial."

"So I could go to the moon if I wanted to?" The idea excited her. She had always wanted to see the stars without the Earth's atmosphere and light pollution obscuring her view.

"Yes, I suppose you could. But for now, we need to work on your abilities."

"Right. What's next?"

"Well you haven't quite mastered flying yet, this method is a sort of 'training wheels," He used one of Dean's terms, hoping that it was something that was common among humans and not just the Winchesters. Katrina seemed to understand. "I think it may help if you practiced widening your awareness more."

"What do you mean?" Katrina asked, "I found you from all the way across the country."

"I do not mean it in terms of distance, I mean in terms of your perception. You could feel me from across the country, yes, but you need to be able to see. Angels have the power to see anywhere that is not warded against them."

"Well that sounds handy."

"Yes, I-" Castiel stopped, his brow furrowed.

"What is it?" Katrina asked, worried.

"It's the Winchesters. They are carrying out their plan of killing me."

"What? How?"

"They have summoned Death and have him chained. They will force him to reap me."

"Death? Death is a person?"

"Yes. I need to go to them."

"What? No! Why would you do that?"

"I will release Death and leave. Don't worry. I do not plan on dying today."

Katrina nodded, biting back her protests.

"Can you fly home?"

"I think so yeah."

"Then I will see you later on. Pray to me if anything happens and I will come."

"Be safe," Katrina couldn't help the worry in her voice.

Castiel smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, then vanished.

When Castiel released Death, he had half a mind to smite the Winchesters right on the spot. But again, he could not, hindered by the memories of their experiences together- something that the Winchesters had so carelessly tossed aside. But, he would be the bigger person. He would not stoop to their level and smite them when they could do him no real harm.

So instead, he fled, appearing in the office of a senator. He blinked past the sudden dizziness that was overcoming him as a senator's aide approached him and asked what he needed.

"I'm here to see the senator," he said as firmly as he could.

"Regarding?"

"Abuse of power."

"Excuse me?"

"I am not petty. I'm punishing a woman who causes poverty and despair in my name. I put your needs first. Don't you understand?" He asked desperately. The woman just stared at him, confused. He turned around, looking at the other staff members, "All of you. I am a better God than my father. How can I make you understand?" His vision was beginning to blur.

"Castiel…" He turned around, his expression wild as he tried to find the source of the hissing voice. The men and women in the office just stared, and it looked like one of staff was calling security. Castiel looked down at himself, swaying on his feet before blacking out.

Castiel woke up feeling very disoriented. He did not often wake up, seeing as he did not sleep. He opened his eyes, and his stomach dropped. The first thing he saw was the face of a dead woman before him. He sat up, horrified to find that he was surrounded by bodies.

"No…"

He looked down at himself and saw that he was covered in blood. There was no doubt that he had done this. He stood, his legs shaky.

"No…"

He had killed every single one of these people. He looked down at his own blood-covered hands in horror. Dean had been right all along. All he had wanted was to be a better god than his father and he had screwed up. He had completely and royally screwed up. Now he didn't even have control over his own body, and people were dying at his hand. The reality that had refused to accept was crashing around him like a collapsing building.

Castiel? Where are you?

It was Katrina. Castiel put his face in his hands. He didn't want her to see him like this. He didn't think he could bear to look at her ever again. She worshipped him, loved him, and believed in him. But he didn't deserve it one bit.

Please Castiel, I just need to know that you're okay.

Castiel sighed. He may not deserve her love, but she deserved to know the truth.

He swallowed his pride and flew back to the apartment.

Katrina jumped up from her seat, rushing to Castiel. "What happened?"

"It's complicated…" Castiel muttered.

"There's so much blood…" Katrina murmured, looking him over, "Is it yours? Did the Winchesters do something to you?" She felt anger flare up. If they had hurt him, she would snap their spines.

"No…" Castiel said, looking down at the ground, "It is not mine."

"Did you kill them?"

"No, no, I did not kill them."

"Well then what happened?"

"It seems that something has gone wrong with me," Castiel grimaced. Upon closer inspection, Katrina could see that his skin was worse than ever. It seemed as if his body was just falling apart, disintegrating.

"What do you mean?"

"The source of my power… has started to rebel against me. I am often no longer in control."

Katrina remembered the look in Castiel's eyes when his skin had first started to tear. It had been as if someone else had taken over his body, something evil. "Is that what's happened to your skin?"

"Yes. My vessel is too weak to contain it for much longer."

"So what's going to happen?" She didn't like the way Castiel was explaining the situation. He sounded like a doctor explaining to parents why their child was going to die.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I will last much longer."

"So, you're going to die?" Katrina's voice raised an octave.

"Most likely, yes. But not only that, an evil will escape into the world."

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"I'm afraid not," Castiel said with a sad smile.

Katrina tasted salt on her lips and realized that she had started to cry, "B-but, we've only been together for a month. We were supposed to have eternity." It had felt like so much more than just a month. Just as she had gotten used to the idea of forever with Castiel, it was all being ripped away.

"I know. I am sorry," Castiel said, his voice weak. He raised a hand to Katrina's cheek, looking into her tear filled eyes.

Suddenly, he heard a voice- a prayer.

Hey, Castiel. Um... Maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... Look, we still have till dawn to stop this. Let us help. Please.

It was Sam.

"Castiel?" Katrina sniffed, wondering why he had grown so still.

"It's the Winchesters," he said, "They say they have a way to fix this."

"Do you trust them? What if they just want to trick you?" She wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears.

"Well, if they are planning on killing me, I'm sure their plan would involve containing the evil inside of me. It would be better to die knowing that I would not be releasing something that could end life on this planet than to simply die helpless."

Katrina nodded, "So you'll go to them?"

"Yes. I will."

"I'll come with you," she said quickly.

"I don't think that's the best idea."

"Castiel, you can't just leave me here, not knowing."

Castiel thought about it, staring at her scrutinizingly. "I suppose you're right. You will have to remain unseen however. I don't know how the Winchesters would react to you."

Katrina let out a sigh of relief, "Okay, let's go."

"Can you make yourself invisible to humans?"

"Um, I don't know."

"Here," Castiel put a hand on her forehead and did so.

Katrina laced her fingers into Castiel's and they flew off.

Katrina watched from a few feet away as who she assumed were the Winchester brothers rushed back and forward, following Castiel' s instructions. She didn't know which one was Dean, but honestly she didn't care. She disliked them both equally. Every once in a while, Castiel would glance over at her and she would flash a weak smile of reassurance. He would return it with just a small tilt of the corner of his mouth, but he had to be discrete. There were a few times when Katrina had to jump to the side to avoid being crashed into, but the Winchesters remained ignorant of her presence. There was another man there, he was older. Katrina assumed it was their father.

After a while, she gathered that Dean was the shorter man who had bow legs and all of Castiel's attention. Castiel kept apologizing to him over and over. The older man was Bobby, and it became apparent that he was not their father, unless the Winchesters had a habit of calling their father by his first name. The taller brother was named Sam, and he was tall. He towered over all of them. There was something off about him though. He seemed twitchy, and every once in a while he would stare off somewhere, like he was looking at someone. There were a few times when he would look directly at Katrina, and she was afraid that her invisibility had worn off, but he didn't say anything and eventually he would refocus on the task at hand. Half way through, Sam went off on his own somewhere, and didn't return. The other two didn't seem to notice. It seemed as if all that Dean cared about at the moment was Castiel. Katrina felt a flash of jealousy run through her. It wasn't fair that Dean could help and she couldn't. Dean was just a human after all, and he had done nothing but hurt Castiel. He didn't deserve to be the hero.

Dean finally seemed to notice that Sam was missing, but put that aside to the more important problem. She watched them lift Castiel to his feet and towards the wall where a number of symbols were drawn in blood. Bobby began chanting some weird foreign tongue, and the symbols on the wall began glowing.

Castiel said something to Dean that Katrina couldn't hear over the sound of a giant hole opening in the wall. It sucked in air like a giant vacuum, sending things flying. Everyone struggled against being pulled in as Castiel got closer. At first, Katrina was afraid that he was going to jump in, but then his body stiffened. Bright white light, like a blazing holy fire, poured out of Castiel's chest and into the gaping pit. Dean and Bobby squinted at the light, but Katrina watched with wide eyes in wonder. All of that power had been inside Castiel. Her awe was cut short however, when the flow was suddenly cut off, and Castiel collapsed to the ground.

Dean and Bobby rushed to him.

"Cas?" Dean said, panicked, rolling him over. Castiel did not stir, and he did not breath.

"Oh god…" Katrina whispered, watching from over Dean's shoulder in horror. Dean and Bobby were speaking to each other in low tones, but Katrina couldn't bring herself to listen. She went around to Castiel's head, kneeling and holding his face in her hands. She honestly couldn't care less if the Winchesters saw her now. "No…" She leaned down and put her forehead against Castiel's. "Please no…" Tears ran down her face. There had to be something she could do. She could bring him back. She had to.

Her head shot back up as Dean stood.

"Cas, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?"

Katrina wanted to scream at him. Listen to you? You failed him! He's dead and it's all your fault! He was just some stupid man who thought himself a king. But she, she was an angel. And she would fix this. She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead back to Castiel's, and let the power flow through their touch. She grimaced in concentration, willing him to live. Please. Please come back.

She opened her eyes as she heard a gasp. Castiel's eyes were open and he was looking up at her. His wounds were completely healed.

"Cas?" Dean said kneeling back down beside him, "Hey, hey." Katrina quickly stood and backed away as they helped him sit up.

"That was unpleasant," Castiel grunted. A mix between a sob and a laugh burst from Katrina's lips. Dean and Bobby stood him up, watching him warily as he wobbled slightly on his feet.

"I'm alive…" Castiel murmured, looking back at Katrina. Katrina gave him a tearful grin. Castiel turned back, pretending that he didn't see her. Katrina wondered if the Winchesters would ever be allowed to know about her.

"Looks like," Bobby said.

"I'm astonished. Thank you. Both of you."

Dean smiled nervously. Katrina glared at him. She didn't still didn't like him. She probably liked him less now. She was the one who had saved Castiel, not him. And she didn't like the way he looked at Castiel either. She stared at him scrutinizingly, ignoring whatever Bobby was saying.

"I'll find some way to redeem myself to you," Castiel said. Katrina refocused on the conversation, bristling with anger. Why was Castiel being so apologetic? And Dean was simply brushing off his apologies as if they were nothing. If there was anyone who should apologize, it would be Dean for treating him like trash! She had half a mind to make herself visible and beat the crap out of him right there on the spot. Katrina was thrown out of her thoughts however, as Castiel suddenly pushed Dean away.

"You need to run now!" Castiel yelled, "I can't hold them back!"

"Hold who back?" Dean asked.

"They held on inside me," Castiel groaned, doubling over, "Dean… they're so strong."

"Oh no, oh please no," Katrina put her hands on her face in horror. She had saved him. This couldn't be happening.

"The Leviathan!" Castiel cried, his body contorting as he struggled against them, "Run!"

Dean sent Bobby to look for Sam, obviously intending to stay back and fight. But then Katrina saw it. The thing that wasn't Castiel.

He straightened up, smiling, "Too late."

"Cas?"

Not-Castiel grabbed Dean by his shirt and pulled him closer, "Cas, he's, well, he's gone. He's dead." An insane grin spread across its face, "We run the show now." With that, it threw Dean across the room. Next, it threw Bobby as well. Black veins crawled over its face as he looked down at them. "Now this is going to be so much fun."

Katrina watched in horror as it paced around. She wanted to do something, but for some reason she couldn't move from where she stood, rooted to the spot. But something seemed to be wrong with the evil creature. It seemed weak, and something black had started dripping down its face.

Dean, it seemed that he was just the sort of asshole who couldn't keep his mouth shut, was smart-mouthing it.

"Your vessels gunna explode," he continued.

"This is hardly something to be joking about Dean!" Katrina said angrily. But of course Dean didn't hear her. But wait. If Castiel's spell was still working, then that meant that he was still alive in there, somewhere, right?

"Castiel! Can you hear me? Please! Fight it!" She tried desperately.

The thing cocked its head to the side, telling Dean, "We'll be back… for you." Then it turned and started limping towards the door, leaving a trail of black liquid behind it. It glanced at her, making a lump of fear rise in her throat, but continued past her.

As it left, Katrina slid down to the floor, her hands in her face. She sobbed quietly, ignoring Dean and Bobby as they stood. Suddenly, Sam burst through the door.

"What happened?"

"You missed the party," Dean grunted, "Come on, let's go."

They left the room hurriedly. Katrina didn't understand how they could keep fighting. It was over. They had lost. They were just powerless humans. She stood up, sniffling. Even if she had given up, she still wanted to see what happened. She closed her eyes, reaching out her awareness to find Castiel, but all she encountered was first the Winchesters, and then a great and unfathomable evil. She shrunk away from it, terrified of its powerful darkness. All hope that Castiel was still alive had vanished. She flew to where the Winchesters were, assuming that they would be watching where the monster went as well. They did not notice as she appeared next to them. She stared in horror as she realized that they were at the edge of a water reserve. There was a sign that stated that it was public drinking water.

The monster was in the middle of the reserve. Katrina thought of the black goo that had been dripping from it. She wondered if it was planning on poisoning the entire town or something. Either way, it had to be stopped, and the Winchesters were just standing there. She started towards the water, not knowing what her plan was but just that she had to do something. But then a whirlpool of sorts formed in the water and a giant burst of a twisting black substance expanded through it. She was too late.

Castiel was gone, and he had died in vain. The monsters had escaped, and she was completely, utterly, and hopelessly alone.