Many thanks to all who´ve read, reviewed and/or put the story on alert (26 people again ;D)!
Here´s the second part, enjoy!
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Part 2: Realizations
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On more than one occasion, Harry was utterly grateful to have Ron to turn to. He was very relieved, for instance, to hear that Hermione had had weird food cravings as well during both pregnancies, and that it wasn´t just an urban myth.
Draco didn´t make much ado about it and not once sent Harry to a Muggle store at night to get him something specific, yet Harry had eyes and saw the sometimes rather revolting creations of his lover, toast with chocolate spread and pearl onions, for example, which was his latest discovery.
At least he was eating, Harry admonished himself when he saw the blond´s almost apologetic expression at Harry´s frown; during the first three months, Draco had been put off food by the constant nausea, and Healer McCarthy had stated that he was underweight at the end of the first trimester.
"It admittedly looks disgusting," Draco now said, "and I know it is, but apparently it also is what baby wants..."
He broke off when Harry got up from his seat on the opposite side of the table, walked around it and wrapped his arms around him tenderly: "You don´t need to justify it," he said into his lover´s ear and kissed him on the cheek.
Draco leaned back against him: "Good to hear that," he sighed, "it might get worse."
"Poor you, having to suffer from baby´s little quirks like that..."
"Don´t mock us, Potter, we´re in the majority here!"
"Ha, teaming up against me already? That goes into the book!"
"Which book?" Draco turned to look at him inquisitively.
Harry blushed furiously, averting his eyes; he hadn´t meant to let it slip. "Nothing, I... I just thought I´d write down some things for the baby... it´s kind of sentimental, really..."
Draco didn´t need to ask why; he knew Harry deeply regretted that he had never gotten to know his parents, and he had told his boyfriend that he sometimes wished he had more than the one letter from his mother, something to take into his hands and make their existence real.
"You´re writing to baby?" he said thickly, for he suddenly had lump in his throat.
Harry nodded hesitantly: "I didn´t mean to keep it a secret," he said defiantly, "I just..."
"Hey," Draco said softly and reached for Harry´s hands, pulling them close to his body while he smiled up at Harry with moist eyes, "may I quote you here: you don´t need to justify it." He turned a little more serious again: "It´s a lovely idea."
Harry exhaled in relief: "Really? You don´t think it´s silly?"
"No, I don´t," Draco murmured. "I actually am doing the same."
He stayed seated until Harry had left, clutching the edge of the table with both hands in order to keep his composure, and only when he was sure he was alone did he allow himself to sag, did all the colour drain out of his face.
Oh Merlin. What had he been thinking?
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Harry couldn´t stop thinking of Draco that morning, feeling a rush of affection everytime he did. He hadn´t known how devoted to the baby they both already were, had worried that he himself was blowing the whole thing out of proportions by starting to write the journal, for example, and therefore was glad to realize that Draco had equally strong feelings for their unborn.
While they had prepared for the pregnancy, Harry had rather had the time in mind when the baby would finally be there, whereas he hadn´t given the nine months leading up to it much thought, only concerning Draco. When his lover had started showing ever so slightly however, ´the baby´ had suddenly become a reality, something palpable.
Harry wasn´t jealous of Draco, who was bound to currently have a stronger bond with the little one as he was carrying it, but he wanted to do something for it, contribute something as well.
For some reason, Harry found it easier to talk to Ron about these things, whereas Draco spent significant time together with Hermione, who seized the opportunity to give advice, and who answered the blond wizard´s every question with tremendous patience.
Draco felt reassured to have someone who had actually gone through the situation.
"When are you two coming round on Friday night?" she asked while she poured them a cup of tea.
Draco, his mind on the journals, nodded absently: "What?" he then asked.
"Molly´s 60th birthday," Hermione repeated patiently, nodding towards the wall calendar as she sat down at the kitchen counter opposite to Draco.
"Right," Draco tried to look contrite. "Sorry."
Hermione folded her arms and leaned forward: "Everything okay?"
"Yeah... I just..." Draco sought for words: "I´m afraid... I think I´m going to burst," he finally said in a small voice.
"Already? Come on, you´re only in your fourth month!" Hermione carefully hid her amusement at that.
"N-no, that´s not what I meant..." Draco all but stammered, "it´s because... I´m so happy."
He was blushing furiously now. "Harry makes me happy, and the baby..." he subconsciously stroked his belly.
Hermione´s expression turned serious as she regarded him now: "And that scares you?" she asked quietly and with evident concern.
Draco drew a slightly ragged breath: "I know it sounds weird, but... this morning I realized that this is too good, all this luck... it simply can´t be happening to me, Hermione. There´s got to be a price for it, I´m sure."
Hermione wasn´t surprised at this, but it worried her; it had taken a long time for Draco to get his self assurance back after the war.
His family name had earned him a lot of reprimands and threats, even though he himself had turned away from the path his father had chosen for him before the end; he had barely escaped the Dark Mark, yet a lot of people were convinced that he had it, and that it was hidden by a deceptional charm.
His relationship with Harry had helped with that, even though many people expressed their profound lack of understanding as to why the saviour of the wizarding world would get romantically involved with a suspected Death Eater.
It usually wasn´t like him to weigh up the good and the bad aspects of his life in order to find an explanation for why things happened, but he looked severely distraught now, and there were tears in his eyes.
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Hermione got to her feet and rounded the counter, just like Harry had done that morning, to put her arms around Draco: "What is really the matter, babycakes?" she asked softly.
Draco´s body was tense: "This is a lot of responsibility," he whispered while tears were running down his cheeks. "What if something goes wrong? Harry will be devastated if we lose the baby..."
He could feel Hermione´s hair against his temple as she gently reinforced his grip, and allowed himself to be held, clutching her arms as she rocked him ever so slightly: "It´s perfectly all right to be scared," she said in a low, soothing voice. "And it´s incredibly overwhelming to realize how much you love the little pollywog already, isn´t it, even though it´s not even four months old?"
Draco nodded through his tears.
Hermione smiled into his hair: "It´s okay," she whispered. "You´ll be fine, and the baby too."
-
They stayed like this until Draco had stopped trembling.
He wiped his eyes, a little embarrassed now: "I´m quite a sissy, huh?"
Hermione shook her head, secretly amused: "It´s normal," she asserted. "Might as well get used to it."
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To Be Continued
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