One piece of thread; why is it so important? One piece could unravel the sleeve of a shirt. One piece can pull apart a bag. One piece could fray an entire blanket. We know that pulling the string could cause more damage but we do it anyway; I know I did. I could have just listened to my mom and not gone to the capitol, but no. I pulled the string and ever since then, things have started to unravel.
School was the first thing to fall apart. Rumors spread quickly about what had happened between me and Asher. Every rumor made me the cause of his death. Some said he followed me into a trap. While others claimed I killed him with my bare hands. The rumors were started by, none other then, Queen Jane and her snobby friends. Her newest BFF however fueled the rumors. It was Asher's sister and my ex-best friend, Elle. Not only would she not refute a single rumor, but when she heard one, she would shrug and just say 'sounds possible.' I never realized how unbearable school was without her. But again, I didn't know how unbearable it would be without Asher either.
Without Asher there was no one there to stand up for me at school. There was no one to goof off with at the bakery. There was no one to walk me home from the woods 'for my own safety.' There was not much happiness without Asher. Even though I now avoided most of the places that reminded me of him, I still couldn't stop thinking about him. Nor could I stop the ache I felt in my heart every time I thought about him.
Since I no longer had school, the bakery or any semblance of friends, I relied on my very dysfunctional family. Each of them were taking the news of the new rebellion in their own way. Aunt Joanna took the hands on approach and put the whole family on lockdown. We now have 24-hour security at our home and personal bodyguards. I'm not going to say I knew she was going to over-react, but yeah I kinda did.
Uncle Haymitch took to the bottle. He went from the holiday drunk uncle to just the drunk uncle. He became very unreliable and my parents, who usually reeled him in were MIA.
With the new threat, they had taken on leadership roles against the rebellion. Dad has been working with the mayor and the district's peacekeeper captain to protect district 12 against any rebellion attack. His extra time goes to checking in at the bakery. Mom just hasn't been around. At the request of Paylor and Miss Effie, she went on a speaking tour across Panem, to reassure citizens the rising rebellion will not succeed. I see her more on TV and in papers than I do in person. We do try to have family dinners every couple of weeks but those stopped after dad's breakdown.
Breakdown. I don't know if that's the appropriate word. Maybe anger snap…rage fest…episode of fury are all more appropriate. I'll admit I was scared afterwards. I had seen those huge black eyes before and they belonged to someone trying to kill mom. But this was dad…my dad…the great and kind Peeta Mellark. He was not a violent man and he loved my mother. Yet I saw him strangle her and then flee; taking the last solid thread of my life with him.
After that our family unraveled pretty quickly. It led to the inevitable family discussion, I knew would not end well. First dad came in, after a week absence. Then the two of them talked alone before coming into the living room where Jon and I were sitting.
They got our attention by standing in front of us. Mom began a bit nervously; "We want to start by saying that no matter what, we love both of you very much."
Yeah this was going to be bad. Whenever someone starts with that you know it's not going to be good…well almost everyone. Jon has been delightfully oblivious to our family's unraveling, even after dad's freak out. When I glance at him and he has a confused look on his face. I look back at mom and notice she is fighting to get her next words out. Finally dad cuts in.
"Your mother and I have decided to separate. We feel it's best for the two of us and safer for the family this way."
There is silence as their words sank in. Jon took the news well…at least for a minute. Then he jumps up and starts shouting. I'm pretty sure a part of his tirade was just sounds and grunts. He finishes by yelling that he hates both of them and storms out. When my parents tried to yell after him, demanding he come back and talk, I finally lose my temper.
"Running out? Huh…I wonder where he got that from."
My mother glares at me.
"You are out of line!" Mom warns. I glare back just as menacing. We haven't fought since we returned from the capitol but I guess some habits die hard.
"How can you say that?" I yell back. "When dad ran out, you spent the rest of the night searching for him. Since then you've been in this fog. And I hear you at night mom. Not just the terrors but the cry…"
"Enough Dahlia!" She says with finality. "We will talk about this when Jonathan and I return." She turns around and heads out after Jon while my dad and I sit in the living room in silence.
"Are you okay honey?" I look at him incredulously. He has the decency to look ashamed.
"Just swell dad." I say sarcastically. I stand up and start walking to my room. "I'll be in my room if…"
"Dahlia wait. There's something else we wanted to tell you." I turn around expecting some practiced speech about how Jon and I will be okay and they'll still be here for us. Instead he sits there staring at his hands and looking very unsure. Finally the words spill out.
"They found him. Asher is alive."