Circle of Friends
Chapter II
zagogay
Date of publication:November 8, 2009
Edited: November 5, 2011
(New Zealand time)
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Dedication
To Jenny Chung, who's always the first one to read my stories when I bring the draft to school. She never gets tired reading them, either. Such a bookworm. Pfft.
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How can she do this to me? After one and a half years of standing my friends' hatred towards her, she just gives up? Just like that? Without even a thought tossed towards my feelings? She knows that I wouldn't be able to leave my friends. They're my friends! They complete me. They're the first ones I run to when a problem surfaces. They're the ones who are always there when I need them the most. Of course I can't leave them. She knows that.
And is that why she broke up with me in the first place? Fully knowing that I wouldn't be able to come up with a good enough excuse to get her back? Did she just want to be free from this relationship? Using my friends as a stupid excuse?
I cursed myself. What did I do wrong? I tried giving her everything she wanted. I tried being there when she needed me. I tried being the perfect boyfriend that every girl dreamed of. Were they not enough? Did she want more? Did she want me to cry tears of blood, before she comes back to me?
I'm close to giving up, I really am. I've tried everything in my power just to talk to her again. I've tried texting her; calling her; emailing her… But none would work. She deleted me in Facebook. She blocked me in messenger, and she won't reply to my emails. I don't know what she's thinking. The Mikan that I knew wouldn't be like this. She would be sweet, tender, kind and understanding. This Mikan that I'm trying to call right now isn't the Mikan that I know. I'd kill just to know what she's thinking. Any man would do anything just know what a girl's thinking even just for a day. I'm one of them.
"Damn." I cursed. I hit the 'end call' button just as Mikan's voicemail started playing. I stood up and paced around the room, frowning often enough to be sure to have wrinkles come 45 years old. Suddenly, my phone rang. I quickly picked it up, hoping that Mikan would be on the other line.
"Polka?" I said.
Silence.
"Polka?" I repeated.
"No."A sigh was heard."Natsume, it's me. Ruka."
"Ruka?" I asked quizzically, racking through my brain, trying to remember if I know any Ruka at all. "Oh! Ruka!"
"Don't tell me you forgot who I am?"
I sighed. "Sorry. I've got a lot of things in mind."
"Yeah. I heard." He paused."Listen. Me and the gang will hang out in the club tonight. You wanna come?"
"Let me guess: Luna's tagging along?"
"As always."
"Then I'm not coming." I rolled my eyes.
"Dude! She's your girlfriend."
"By force, Ruka. Force."
"She's still your girlfriend, forced or otherwise."
"I'm not coming." I sternly said.
"What if I tell you that I'll make a way for Sakura to come? I can persuade her for you."
I skipped a heartbeat. "What?" I said, barely above a whisper.
"I'll get her to come for you. I promise. As long as you come. Oh! And also, you have to cooperate with a few rules of mine."
I was silent for a while; deep in thought, thinking of whether it's a good idea to have my 'girlfriend' and ex-girlfriend in the same premises.
I sighed. "I'm listening."
"Alright. Rule one: Do not hassle Sakura. If she doesn't want to talk to you, don't push it. I don't want this night ruined because of you guys."
"Fine." I said.
"Whoa! Fine? You agreed! Wow. This is turning out better than I've imagined."
I massaged my temples. "Just hurry up, Ruka."
"Alright! Take a chill pill. Rule two: You are to act as Luna's boyfriend no matter what she does. No matter how much you hate her. Just be her boyfriend –"
"No. No way."
"Then it's a no-deal, Natsume."Ruka said. "I won't get Mikan to come. Which is most likely the only way to get her to talk to you."
But in exchange to be Luna's boyfriend? I mean, sure, I am her boyfriend, but that's because Niko pushed on the idea. The guy just won't stop nagging. Day and night – he would not stop. But I figured that if I do agree to become Luna's boyfriend, it didn't mean I have to act out the part. But now Ruka's asking me to do the exact thing I thought I wouldn't have to do.
"You're killing me here, Ruka. Literally."
"I know."
I squinted my eyes. "Did Niko put you up for this?"
I waited for a moment before I got a reply."For the most part."
"For the most part?" I narrowed my eyes.
"...It was kinda my idea, too."
"Why?"
"Because I want you to hang out with us. It's been a while, Natsume. You're my best friend. What kind of best friends are we if we hardly hung out? Besides, if I hadn't made that offer about Sakura, do you think you would've considered coming?"he asked.
I thought about it. "No."
"Exactly. So what's it gonna be? Coming or not?"
I'm being torn between pride and Mikan. If I choose Mikan, then I have to act out as Luna's boyfriend. But if I choose pride… I won't be able to talk to Mikan. Possibly ever. I sighed. "Where do we meet?"
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I stood leaning against a wall outside the cinema, a hand in my pocket, and the other holding my phone, expecting a call from Ruka or any of the gang. They said to meet here, outside of the cinema, and yet, none of them has shown up. And I thought I was late.
I sighed. "What the hell..."
Ring ring ring.
I looked at my phone.
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Ruka Nogi
Answer Decline
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"Natsume!"
"Ruka, where the hell are you?"
"Oh. Uhh…"
"'Uhh', what?"
"We're at the cinemas."
"I'm at the cinemas."
"Well, we're at a different cinema."
"What the hell?"
"We're at a different cinema."he paused."Turns out, I gave out the wrong information to you."
"What?"
"Wait. Hold on."
There were some ruffling and shuffling over the other line. I could vaguely hear Ruka talk to someone, whose voice resembled Niko's a heck of a whole lot.
"Tell him… send her… get him… come here…"
Those were the bits and snippets that I heard. Ruka was skillfully covering his phone's microphone, therefore making my attempts to eavesdrop hopeless.
"Yeah, hey, Natsume."
I grunted.
"Luna's gonna pick you up, ok –"
"What the hell, Ruka?"
"Sorry. It's not our fault you're at a different place."
"It kinda is."
"Well…"he paused."Whatever. She's gonna pick you –"
"No. Hell no! I will not go with that bitch. I will not arrive there with the bitch in tow."
"Natsume…" Ruka paused. "Remember the deal?"
I sighed. Oh yes. The deal. Of course – the deal. The deal that I had to think twice over. The deal that would either hurt Mikan, or do the opposite – make her happy and relieved that I've finally let go of her. But she should know better. I can never let go of her. Never. She's Mikan. I'm Romeo and she's my Juliet. She's my Juliet. She's my –
"Natsume!"
I snapped out of my trance. "Yeah?"
"Do you remember the deal?"
"Oh. Yeah. I do."
"Well, then, I got Sakura to come. Now it's your turn to do your part. Act as Luna's boyfriend."
I paused. "Why are you doing this, Ruka?"
"Just do it, Natsume."
"Answer my question."
"Do it!"
"Answer my question."
"Natsume!"
"Fine!"
"Done deal. She'll pick you up. Bye."
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He hung up without even letting me say goodbye, perhaps afraid that I would ask something that he'd been hiding for quite some time. I've been suspecting Ruka for a long while now. Ever since she came into our group; ever since I made it official that we were going out. Ruka seemed to be nice to her, unlike my other friends, who despised the idea of her suddenly interrupting our circle of friends – suddenly showing up as my girlfriend. They didn't like her. Except Ruka. When everyone closed up the circle when sitting down, it was always Ruka who would open it up even for a little bit to make her fit in. Just to make her feel accepted.
I had been suspecting Ruka of liking her; of liking my ex; of liking my Juliet; of liking Mikan. And he probably jumped at the idea when Niko brought up the subject of pairing me off with Luna - jumped at the chance to finally hit it off with Mikan, to finally have her all to himself; to finally get rid of me.
I might be wrong. That thought never escaped me. But there's also this nagging feeling that Ruka can somehow get Mikan all to himself. Ruka's what a girl will ever want. The complete opposite of me, really. Ruka's my best friend, but I doubt him. I doubt his honesty. I know that I should trust him, but I just can't. There's a possibility that he might take Mikan away from me – I can't let that happen. Not now; not ever. I had to make Mikan mine again. I have to make her understand how much I care for her. How much I'd give to just have her back. I'd do anything, to say the least.
Even if it meant acting as Luna's boyfriend.
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"Natsume!"
I looked up and found myself staring at two green orbs. I sighed. The bitch has arrived.
"Natsume, let's go." She squealed as she wrapped her arms around me.
"Get off me." I sternly said.
"What?"
"Let go."
"But you're my boyfriend!"
"I will count to three."
"Natsume!"
"One…"
"What the hell!"
"Two…"
"You can't do this to me!"
"Three."
"Fine!" She huffed as she withdrew her arms. "Nii-san said that you're supposed to be my boyfriend, so act like it."
"You're only supposed to bring me to whatever cinema they decided to switch to, Koizumi."
She crossed her arms. "And act as my boyfriend."
I looked away. "Whatever."
She wrapped her arms around mine. "I'll tell nii-san you didn't cooperate if you don't act as my boyfriend. You know what will happen then? Bye bye, Mikan."
I swear to God, I will lose my cool soon. This bitch is pushing me to the edge. But I have to endure it. For her sake, I have to endure it. I have to go through this if I want to make things better between her and me. But will showing up as Luna's boyfriend really patch things up between us? But, if I don't act as her boyfriend, then I won't be able to talk to Mikan. This is my only chance to get her back. And besides, it's too late to back-out. Luna's already got me walking, with her arm wrapped around mine. She's got me walking through the exit, and unto the road.
Dear God, everyone from school will see me walking with the bitch. They will really think that I've replaced Mikan with Luna now. I haven't – they should know that.
"Won't you rather we drive there?" I asked nonchalantly.
She looked up at me. "No."
"Why?"
"Because," she paused. "This way, everyone will know you're mine."
Bitch.
"I'm not yours." I said through gritted teeth.
"Keep telling yourself that, Natsu."
I snapped. "Don't you dare call me that." I shouted, grabbing her arms and flinging it away.
"Why? Mikan calls you that."
"And she's the only one who can."
"But that's not fair. She's your ex; I'm your girlfriend."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to even see her face. "Don't you get it, woman?"
"Get what?"
I opened my eyes and glared at her. "I'll never be yours! Even if I do act like I'm yours, it's because Niko asked me to!" I pushed past her and started walking away, trying to ignore our newly-found audience's agonizing stare. I managed to walk a few meters, before she called out my name.
"Natsume!" she shouted. "Natsume, wait!" She grabbed my arms and turned me around. "Fine."
I blinked, not understanding what she was saying.
"Fine."
"What?" I frowned.
"I don't care if you'll never be mine emotionally. I don't care. Just, be mine physically. You're my boyfriend. Act like it!" she cried. "I love you, Natsume. I don't care if you don't feel the same way for now. Just, please," she begged. "Try."
At that moment – at that special moment – I felt pity for her. I felt a tinge of pity for her. A pity that I never knew would come. A pity that I never knew I even had. I grabbed her arm. "Let's go."
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Until next chapter…