For those of you still out there, I really don't know what to say except that I am sorry for the wait. I had no idea if I was even going to finish this story. I reread the three chapters so far and I saw a lot of mistakes. I am going to fix them and hopefully be able to finish this story. I have a three-hour wait between classes today so that is what I will be doing for three hours. Fixing my mistakes and hopefully adding a chapter or two in the next day.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters but they keep me happy when my day is rainy and sad.
God, I need to go home and just be with her. This is becoming too much for me to handle, and I wonder how she feels. I know that she has been feeling unhappy, and the way I see it is that it's my job to make her happy. And I haven't been doing my job.
We meet when we were in diapers and I knew she was meant me even then. We have had a wonderful life up until we started trying for a baby. Every negative sign, every tear, every "its ok, we will try next month" feels like a knife to the heart. It's not her fault and it's not mine. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. But when I look into her eyes, I know that I would rather live through hell then see her unhappy.
Which brings us back to work. I have a surprise for her and hopefully a baby as well. I read somewhere online that stress and the environment can prevent pregnancy. So what better way to get pregnant then to get away from all of that? I have planned a month long second honeymoon of sorts. But I can't get a month off until I work my ass off and make sure that everything is up and running for when I go and when I come back. So I have been working and missing my wife. I feel like this might work for us. I would do anything for her.
By the time that I leave, I feel like a huge load has been lifted from my shoulders. My honeymoon will start in a couple of days and I am off of work for the next 6 weeks. Sweet, everything is going as it is.
I get home around 10:30 and the storm outside is picking up. I need to get inside where its warm and my wife is waiting for me. When I reach the house, everything is quiet. I wonder where she is. I bypass the living room and go straight to the kitchen. It is spotless, yet there in no wife there. I go upstairs to our bedroom, yet she isn't there. I am getting worried now. Where is she? As I run down the stairs, I come to a stop before me. There lying down on the couch is a angle. She is breathtaking. Even after all this time, she takes my breath away.
I sit in the chair across from her and just admire her. This is my favorite thing to do, and I have been too tired to do this lately. I notice that there are dried tears on her face and I feel even worse. I know that it's because of me and I would rather die then see her cry. When she cries, my heart cries. I wipe the remaining tears with my thumb, and she has a peaceful smile on her face. I stay looking at her for God knows how long.
After a while she wakes up with a startled cry. She looks around and as if she can feel my eyes on her, she looks my way. I look into her eyes and once again her pain and my guilt charge through me. I hate that I have done this to her.
"Bad dream?" I ask her while I feel like my own tears will make an entrance as well.
"No, it was wonderful" she replies back. Her voice is soft yet there is a hint of anger and frustration in it. I feel like shit.
"Then why are you crying, love?" I ask. When she hears my term for her, the dam breaks and she is crying louder and harder than before.
"Be… bee... because I woke up.. pp" she chokes back to me. I jump over to where she is sitting down and take her in my arms. I can't deal with her tears. She's in pain and so am I.
"Is reality really that bad that you want to escape to dreamland?" I ask fearing the answer. Maybe she finally gave up on my sorry ass. Maybe by trying to fix this, I broke us.
"Yeah I guess it is when you have no one to share reality with. When you feel unwanted and a heavy burden" she replies back.
Those words will forever burn in my heart. Have I really been that much of an insensitive bastard that she thinks that she is unwanted? Someone shot me now.
"You have me, love. You always have me", I whisper in her ear. The tears finally came in and I hurt. I have hurt this angel in my arms and I deserve to burn.
She turns in my arms and looks up into my eyes. Her beautiful eyes are sad and the tears are never ending.
"I haven't had you in a while now. I don't know where you went or if you still want me. I feel like I lost you somewhere. I miss you.," she whispers to me in a voice so small that I strain to hear it.
I cup her cheek and slowly start to kiss her everywhere. I whisper to her that I am sorry and that I love her. I love her with everything in me. I reach her lips and slowly start to kiss her in fear that she might not want that. I start slow at first, but when she opens her mouth to let me in, my hunger takes over. I need her.
I devour her. I have not concept of time or where I am. All I know is that I need to take this to our bedroom. Somehow I make it up there without dropping her. Clothes are shed and our love is reconfirmed with skin. Once I am inside her, it becomes my goal to make her come as many times as possible. I need to make up for all the pain and the time that I spent away from her. I feel my orgasm building but I don't allow my self that pleasure. She knows that and I can see and feel her trying to make me come.
"I'm pregnant", she whispers in my ear. And I can't hold it anymore. The earth stops moving and its only me and her. Upon hearing those words, my body releases my pleasure, my love, my seed. I come for what feels like forever and blackness starts to creep around my vision. I collapse on my wife and allow the darkness to overtake me. I am home and I found her.