Chapter 2

Nick lay by himself in the eerily silent hospital room, feeling completely insecure in the flimsy gown. The room felt so cold that his teeth chattered, and no matter how closely to his chin he pulled the blankets, he couldn't gain any warmth.

Morgan had taken his temperature and discovered he had a fever of 101, which would explain the chills, and he'd felt sick to his stomach when she had to draw blood from his arm.

Dr. Bently had come in to explain the rest of the procedures, which would include a biopsy of the lymph node in his neck, and a bone marrow aspiration. The procedures would occur the following morning, and he had to fast before the general anesthesia.

Morgan had given Nick some medication for his fever, and for the pain still prominent in his injured back from Jess's tackle.

He knew Jess would return soon enough, but he missed her already.

Before leaving him alone, Dr. Bently explained the general hospital routine, including meal times and visiting hours.

When Jess did come back with Schmidt at her heels an hour later, he was out cold.

Jess felt his forehead gently, finding it to be much warmer than she remembered.

He stirred at her touch and opened her eyes, the down side to being such a light sleeper.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to wake you," Jess apologized sheepishly, and handed him his duffle bag of supplies. "Have you met with the doctor yet? What have they done so far?"

Nick shrugged.

"They took a blood sample, blood pressure, my temp, etc. Dr. Bently said that I have a bone marrow aspiration tomorrow at 9:00, and I'll have a biopsy done at the same time using anesthetic." he shuddered...his body didn't react well to anesthesia, as he could remember as a child when he had his tonsils removed. He'd thrown up violently for hours.

Schmidt sat down on the chair closest the door, allowing Jess the honor of sitting next to Nick's bed. She reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

Nick peered through his duffle bag after Jess explained what she'd packed for him, and smiled when she tossed in a few magazines. Schmidt even let Nick borrow his Ipod while he was hospital bound, because the silence could get ugly.

"Thanks, man," Nick told Schmidt, who saluted him. "Guys, I really am glad you're here," he admitted. "I just wish I knew it was going to be okay." He looked at Jess, his eyes narrowing a little. "Jess...tell me...I need to hear it."

Jess placed his hand against her cheek. "It'll be okay," she said, and looked at Schmidt, who looked close to tears.

Nick's eyes drifted shut again, and he announced he was going to try and get some sleep.

Jess nodded in understanding, and glanced at Schmidt, who texted someone on his cell phone.

Ceec...No sex tonight...staying with Nick. See you tomorrow. S.

Nick slept for the remainder of the evening much to Jess's relief, and didn't even budge when she and Schmidt went to the hospital's cafeteria for dinner.

"Never thought I'd be eating from a lunch line again," Schmidt muttered as he nibbled on his sandwich. Jess watched as people...staff and family alike...weaved in and out of the room. Some had blank expressions on their faces, and Jess could only imagine what they were thinking.

She missed the simple times, even though they weren't long ago, when the biggest thing she had to worry about was the lesson plan for the following week.

"Seriously, Schmidt...we have to be real about this," Jess spoke up as they finished eating and made their way back upstairs. "What if he does have cancer? What are we going to do about it?"

Schmidt shrugged, keeping his hands in his pockets, his head down.

"I really don't know," he admitted. "I told CeCe the worst that happened to me was my cat dying. I've never had a best friend with anything other than a cold or the flu, and let me tell ya, that's not fun for me..." he shuddered with disgust, and that made Jess chuckle. Schmidt had such a phobia of germs for a guy his age...for a guy at any age, as a matter of fact.

"I don't know either," She replied with a deep breath. "I guess it's just like with everything else. You take it one day at a time. We just have to make sure we're available 24/7 for Nick."

Schmidt agreed wholeheartedly.

Throughout the night, Jess found it annoying when the nurses would come to draw more blood from Nick, and take his temperature to keep him closely monitored. She wanted to yell at them, to tell the nurses that a sick person needed sleep, not constant interruptions.

Schmidt slept through every incident, his snoring so loud that she had to kick him several times.

"How do I not hear you at home through the wall?" Jess asked at breakfast the following morning, while Nick was getting ready for his surgical testing. Nick had already thrown up from nerves, much to her worry, and his pitiful face when he was put in a wheelchair made her heart break.

"Skill," Schmidt replied with a grin. "Listen, I've gotta go to work, okay? Call me if you need anything." he pecked a kiss on Jess's forehead, which made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. She never knew what to expect after moving in with the three men, but they had been more like big brothers to her than anything else. She liked each of them equally in the same manner, though she noticed her feelings went a little deeper for Nick. She refused to tell anyone about it just yet, not until she could figure out what was going on. CeCe already made the comment that he liked her, simply by how he placed his feet.

Jess had called the school to set up for a substitute teacher that day, wanting to be there for Nick when he returned from his testing. She planned on trying to keep life as normal as possible, the only way she could think of to get through this.

Jess graded papers while she waited for Nick to return from his tests, sipping on a cup of tea that she'd prepared from the lounge. The nurses on Nick's floor were very sweet, very accommodating and respectful. They thought it was sweet that Nick had such good friends to take care of him, especially when his family was so far away. Jess thought about calling Nick's mother, but decided against it, especially since they didn't know anything right now.

When Nick did return from the lab, he was so sick from the anesthesia, that it scared her. She'd never seen someone vomit so much and so violently in her life, not even from a stomach flu. Nick actually wept from the pain in his stomach, and he was given medication to ease the nausea.

"How long will it take to get the results back?" Jess asked Dr. Bently once Nick stopped puking long enough to rest, and the doctor smiled at her.

"Two days at the most," he explained. "The good news, besides the nausea, is his fever has gone down from last night. That's good, very good." He nodded with approval, and Jess kept a tight hold on Nick's hand. He whimpered whenever she tried to release her grip.

"Thank you," Jess replied. "Do you think it's bad, doctor? I mean..." she wet her lips, and Dr. Bently gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"I will be straight with you," He continued, "I think Nick may have non hodgkins lymphoma. It's common for men his age, and the symptoms are pretty spot on."

Jess covered her face with her free hand, and her heart hammered in her chest.

"He won't die, will he?" she whispered.

"Not if I have anything to do with it," Dr. Bently answered, and Jess smiled weakly. "He will have the best care in the world, I will make sure of that."

Jess nodded. "He doesn't have insurance," she whispered. "But that's okay because we're going to help him pay for the bills...I'm sure they're astronomical."

Dr. Bently smiled again, and she did think he was handsome, even with his graying hair. He looked prestigious...doctor's usually did.

"I wouldn't worry about the money," he replied. "That will all be worked out later. He needs to focus on getting well, which if we caught the cancer early enough, remission will be much easier to achieve."

Jess stared at him. "Are you married?" She asked, and the doctor grinned.

"Yes I am...25 years."

Damn, Jess thought.

"Kids?"

Dr. Bently nodded. "Twin boys. And are you married?"

Jess glanced at Nick's sleeping form, wishing she could say yes, but knowing that would be an outright lie. She was all about the truth.

"No," Jess replied. "Not yet." She gave a slight shrug.

"Is he your boyfriend? You haven't left his side since he came in here."

Jess wet her lips and felt her cheeks growing warm.

"He's my best friend," she answered honestly, and Dr. Bently winked playfully at her.

"Well...I must be on my rounds," he explained. "I'll be back to check on Nick a little later this evening. Hopefully the side effects from the anesthetic will wear off quickly." He said goodbye, and Jess was alone with Nick once again.

Nick didn't officially feel better until that evening, though he was too nervous to eat any dinner. Winston stopped by shortly after the meal cart came by.

"How's it going, man? Where's Jess?" He noticed the room was empty, and Nick pointed to the bathroom.

"She's taking a shower," he explained. "I'm doing okay, despite feeling like a pincushion. Shocked I have any blood left, they took so much outta me."

Winston smirked at his friend's attempt to make a joke. "Any news?" he raised his eyebrows with curiosity, and Nick shook his head, clearly irritated.

"No," he groaned. "I hate it here, Winston. I want to be home in my own bed." he blew out his breath. "This sucks complete ass."

Winston nodded in understanding. "Yeah I know," he agreed.

"Can I tell you something? Promise not to tell Jess, okay?" Nick begged, and Winston hesitated, but gave a nod of approval. "I'm scared out of my mind."

Winston blinked stupidly. "Why wouldn't you tell Jess?" He asked.

"I don't want her to think..." he closed his eyes. "I've been feeling like shit for so long...I don't want her to think I know something's wrong, I don't want to be lectured."

Winston leaned back in his chair, and stared at his friend. "How long is long exactly?" he asked, and Nick swallowed, his throat sore from all the vomiting, and he gazed at the ceiling. "How long?" Winston repeated in a firmer tone, and Nick looked at him.

"It's been a few months," He admitted, and Winston cursed. "Don't lecture me," he demanded. "I told you not to."

Winston bit his tongue, wanting so much to ream his friend out.

"Do you realize they could have caught this sooner?" He asked. "If it is cancer, I mean. If it's not, then I'll let it go. If it is, dude, I'm going to kill you myself."

Nick chuckled warmly. "I didn't want to go because I was afraid it would turn into something like this," He admitted. "I don't have money, Win. I don't have insurance. Even buying over the counter shit is like selling a body part."

Winston sighed, he knew what Nick meant, being unemployed as well. Money sucked, and even when you had a job, the bills piled on anyway in an endless stream.

"Plus...Jess is right. I haven't done much with my life. I'm afraid I'm gonna die before I get to really do anything. I've always been scared shitless of all the bad things that I've forgotten about how good things can be." He turned towards the window, watching the sun set. Winston clasped his hands together in his lap, hearing the shower turn off...Jess was almost finished.

"Here's what we're gonna do," He said, and Nick turned back to him. "Come up with a bucket list, of everything you've been thinking that you want to do. If you have cancer we'll have to put this on hold, obviously, but you need a list."

"A list." Nick reached for a glass of water from his tray, and sipped it slowly. He was so damn thirsty, but he knew better than to chug.

"Yeah, like...places you wanna see, fall in love, movies you haven't watched, games you haven't played...stuff like that. I have one in my dresser drawer at home."

Nick smirked and Winston pointed a finger at him just as Jess emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas...she had planned to spend another night.

"Hey Winston," she greeted, startled. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Winston shrugged as Jess went to feel Nick's forehead, which still was a bit on the warm side. "How are you feeling?" she asked, and he cleared his throat.

"Like I was hit by a truck," he mumbled, and she took a seat.

"I'm not planning to stay over," Winston announced, glancing at Jess in her bunny pajamas, and Nick grinned. "I just wanted to check up on my man here. I plan on being part of this too, you know." he made a clicking sound with his mouth, and pointed his fingers in Nick's direction.

"You really shouldn't be sleeping here, either, Jess," Nick pointed out. "I don't mind that you come every day to visit, but please, I want to live vicariously through you until I'm outta here. It won't be long, hon, you know that." he smiled and Jess wanted to burst into tears, remembering Dr. Bently's prediction.

"I know it won't," she lied. "Nick, stop being so stubborn. I don't mind staying here overnight. The air mattress the nurse setup is pretty comfy, actually." she said, pointing to the object on the far wall.

"I mind," Nick replied, and she blinked. "I didn't mean it like that. Look, Jess, if you want to do something for me, be normal, please, I beg of you. If I need you I'll call you, like a normal friend does, okay?"

Jess folded her arms across her chest and looked at Winston with a frown. "Did you put him up to this?" she asked, and Winston held up his hands with innocence.

"No," he insisted, and she sighed.

"Look," Nick continued, "I'll let you stay tonight since you're already in your pajama outfit.."

"Pajamas! God!" Jess corrected. "What is wrong with you?"

Nick offered his arms for a hug, and Jess went into them immediately, burying her face against his chest.

"It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," he insisted, glancing at Winston who rolled his eyes. "It's gonna be okay."