HYPOTHETICALS
She looked so young.
Arizona knew that she, herself, wasn't exactly the beauty school elderly infirm. But Arizona could tell the difference between baby-faced pigtails and wholesome innocence. It was a youthfulness that no amount of hydroxybenzylapatite Pendro-whateverihoo-salicylic acid based creams could achieve.
Callie could just look so young sometimes.
And the poignancy of a love foiled by passing time filled Arizona's heart so full, that she could hardly breathe.
The gun had been centimetres away.
She had practically touched it.
She could see every possibility.
Grab it. Point it. Drag him out to the cops. Hero. Medal. Next.
Her surgeon's hand had been shaking as she held out the packaged bandages. The possibility. The potential. The fear.
And she had noticed a contrast.
His was not.
The steadiness of the man's hand had unnerved her more-so than the actual gun held outstretched.
And instantaneously she decided she didn't know the situation. He could have a bomb. He could have a back-up pistol. All it took was for her to reach out...
It wasn't an offering, but a challenge.
She could hear whimpering behind her and found herself all too aware of the blonde woman in the room.
Sometimes being a hero means knowing when to pick your battles.
She placed the bandages on top of the gun. Her thumb slid barely past the cold metallic barrel.
"Thankyou."
Callie felt nauseas. He spoke as if they were simply two people in a difficult situation bonded now by sympathy. From one victim to another. Two reasonable people deciding: you go your way and I'll go mine. Like he hadn't made this choice. Like she had any choice.
Had he been surrendering and her act of self-preservation had given him a divine message to continue on his mission?
"Thankyou."
It didn't bear thinking about.
She felt prickles behind her eyes and a wave of tenable relief as she watched him slink away. She couldn't tell if his tail was between his legs or if the hair on the back of his neck was beginning to rise aggressively, lips curled in a snarl.
She shut the door quickly and shuddered. Forgetting. No regrets.
"Alright."
Focused now on the blue-crystal eyes that gazed at her like she was the be all and end all of existence, Callie found her priorities to be greater than survival.
They had stood outside as the ambulance drove off.
Arizona watched Callie out of the corner of her eye. It was odd to be outside in daylight during working hours and the sunlight warmed the icy remnants of fear clutching at Arizona's chest.
They had almost been killed. They had almost been shot. Geezes. It could have been Callie.
Callie's hair glinted in the sun. Arizona was half-afraid to drag her gaze from the ambulance to actually look at Callie.
This was a scenario that friends joked about over coffee.
'What would you do if there was a man with a gun...'
A fucking hypothetical.
A non-reality based quiz on morals, values and judgement.
Everyone knew this sort of thing didn't happen in real life, didn't they? It was the kind of thing you read in newspapers and subsequently decided not to read newspapers anymore as they were entirely too depressing filled with stupid people doing stupid things.
Because this was life-changing. This was the kind of thing that broke people.
Arizona always knew this kind of courage was in Callie. A mask upon a mask upon a mask. The tough, leather wearing kick-ass surgeon who was actually a smushy, vulnerable mess looking for love; always had had the underlying strength of a she-lion protecting her cubs. Callie knew right from wrong and was prepared to stand and be counted. And Arizona could sense this.
After today, however, Arizona didn't want to look at Callie and see the sadness, hatred and depressing wisdom in the face of the harsh reality of life that mirrored her own feelings.
But out of the corner of her eye, Arizona noticed, Callie had bit her lip. Pondering.
Callie could just look so young sometimes.
And Arizona felt like every ounce of weight had been lifted off her heart as the sunlight streamed down upon the both of them.
Callie wasn't broken.
She was still whole despite life's curve balls. She was still the girl who could tell right from wrong, but wanted to make sure she had all the angles covered first. Despite everything, she was still gorgeously untouched by the ways of the world and remained the ever-innocent idealist.
Arizona's heart swelled with love and pride. She couldn't speak.
Her eye's lowered trying to find the words. They rested on Callie's heart for a moment before flicking back up to her face asking her to understand the unspoken sentiment.
"I love you."
Callie's eyebrows raised, challenging Arizona to speak up and say as much. A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth at the direction of the unspoken dialogue.
"Go on. Say it. What?"
Arizona smiled ruefully. An apology.
"I'm going to help children find their parents."
She turned quickly so she wouldn't have to see Callie's face fall.
"People died."
This was it.
"People died today."
You could have died.
"And I can't live without you. So if that means no kids, then I don't want kids."
Here it was.
Arizona's moment of courage. A moment of life or death.
And just as Callie had done so earlier in the hour, Arizona fought for her life. Their life. Their children's lives.
"...and I can't live without you and our 10 kids – "
The kiss felt like a new beginning. Like hope. Like forever.
Lips slid over each other as they tried to impress and spell out what words could not. As public propriety slipped back into their respective conscious, Arizona broke the kiss and rested her forehead against her newly re-instated girlfriend's.
Utterly contented, Callie had rested her hands over Arizona's hips as Arizona caressed her shoulders, unwilling to release her cherished connection. She sighed reservedly.
"I should really go sort things out on the paeds floor."
"Sure."
Arizona grimaced before pecking Callie on the lips and turning to leave.
Callie grabbed her wrist and pulled Arizona back into her body to press another frantic kiss to her lips.
"I love you," she murmured against Arizona's skin.
Arizona drank in the vital attention she had been missing for the past week. She gasped as she accepted Callie's possessive tongue then finished the kiss definitively before the PDA got too out of hand. She squeezed Callie's hand as she turned to leave for the second time.
"Mmmmffph-"
Arizona was once again dragged back into the warm and waiting body with its expressive mouth.
"10 kids...it's too many."
Arizona laughed between the kisses being lavished upon her.
"Nine then."
Callie stopped her administrations to give a huge grin to Arizona.
"You get the part! Now go save lives and help the people."
Arizona felt slightly put out by the sudden cease of lovin', but Callie had already started to walk over to the police vehicles. Arizona exhaled regretfully as she watched Callie's scrub-hidden figure retreat, but before she could turn to head back to the paediatric patients,
"Hey!"
Callie had turned and, fishing something out of her scrub pocket, lobbed it in Arizona's direction.
The key caught the sunlight as it hurtled through the air to land in Arizona's palm. Evidently, Callie had been carrying Arizona's copy of the key to her apartment with her for the entire past week of break-up.
She looked back up to Callie, eyes sparkling mischievously. Accusing. Ecstatic.
Callie held her arms outstretched and wore a long-suffering look of tedium.
"What!"
Sometimes she could just look so young that Arizona fair thought her heart might break.