eclare4ver : yeah i know, it makes me sad, but i cant stop reading them. I HAVE to know if it gets happy. Thanks for reviewing.

KitKat0219 :heres youre jelly bean :P haha thanks for reviewing. Means a lot. Really, it does.

bumblebee145 : jelly bean for you too! :D thanks for reviewing. It really means a lot

DegrassiFFLover12 : thanks. I feel better now. i hate stomach flues. haha, pandemic, i always laugh when i hear him say that. Thanks for reviewing. Means a lot to me.

Munroloverx1: 2 words. Thats all i ask for. :D haha thanks for reviewing :P

Hey, so um, im working on another stroy too. and i kind of like where its going. Its not posted yet, but it will be soon. I think you will all enjoy it. its different then everything else ive written. I know i make mistakes,lots of them, but im acceptng beta reader request. IF you want to, ill be more then happy to let you. Anyways, heres chapter 2. Enjoy. :D

Eli POV

I know, I've been distant with her. I know she wants it. But, I can't; I can't let this feeling go. I guess, I don't really know how to start going further then what we already have. Surprised right? You would think I would know from friends and stuff, that they would tell me all of their juicy details on how much of it they got form their girls. But, I've never really had friends. Remember, I'm the Goth kid, the freak. Everybody just judged me, and assumed. When, really, I wasn't emo, I just loved black.

Okay, love is an understatement. But that doesn't mean that they can just judge. I was actually pretty surprised that Julia even wanted me. I smile as I remember the day we met…before Degrassi was even a part of my life.

*Flashback*

I was sitting at lunch, alone, as always. This was normal for me; to eat alone at a lunch table with nobody next to me. I mean, some people would smile at me as they walk by, but that's because they don't want to seem rude, but they don't want to be seen with the 'goth kid'.

Then she walked in. I hadn't noticed her. I was blaring my music in my ears, and got up to throw my lunch away. But me being my ass-of-a-self wasn't looking where I was going and rammed into her when I got up, spilling mine and her things tumbling to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" she had said.

"Oh no. It's my fault. I should've looked where I was going." We were both bent down picking up the things we had dropped. I picked up her books, and she picked up my lunch. We had exchanged belongings and that's when I had looked into her eyes. They were a bright hazel, with a hint of gray. She wasn't wearing all as much black as I was that day, and she didn't seem to care of what I looked like.

*end flash back*

That was just her. She didn't judge, it just so happened she did on that fight, over something really stupid, cheating., I didn't know why she was suddenly so different that day, something had changed. But I finally got the truth out of her mom; she was pregnant, with somebody else's baby. She just assumed I was cheating on her, and all it was was the hormones talking. "I hate you" those last words, I didn't mean them, at all. But I was broken when I found out she cheated on me. Her mom knew it wasn't mine, she made her go see, and there were test for proof of who it was. Believe me, he got a beat down. But Julia never loved me, at all. She even said so "I never even loved you" I didn't think she meant it though.

Like I've said before though, I was never in love with Julia, just more of a sisterly love. She never loved me that was clear.

But I am in love with Clare. Julia's the past. I've let her go. Ever sense Clare and I have gotten together, I no longer feel the need break down at the thought of her name. Pathetic right, breaking down over somebody that hurt you so badly? But not anymore at least.

I want the night to be special. I have no idea how to do this, I mean, I am a virgin. I know I keep pulling away, but that's because of how nervous I get. I know, Me? Nervous? Well, I am, I want this bad, my man hormones can take it much longer. But I'm scared shitless. She's changing me. What the hell happened to Elijah Goldsworthy? I cant get this girl out of my head. I always find myself thinking about her.

Maybe, that's it: if you can't get somebody out of your head, maybe they belong there.

I realized something, you don't just step into love, you fall; head over heels. And I was, hard. This needs to be solved, fast, before I lose all control what's left of my sane.

It was poring down rain outside, and I found some sort of confidence in it.

"Adam?" He was sitting next to me, while I was on my bed, reading a new comic. "Hmm?" he responded.

"I need help" I asked. His head snapped up, and chuckled.

"Big Eli needs some help? Never knew id see the day." He laughed.

"Har-har. But, you know, how last year, Clare was giving me those signs?" yes, I never told Adam about what had happened in front of her house, mostly because I couldn't get the words out. But I needed to now, I've procrastinated long enough.

"Yeah?"

"Um, well, she wanted…..me….." I stated while looking down.

After a long silence, I looked back up at him. He was just staring at me. "Like, want you want you?" he finally asked.

I nodded.

"WHAT THE CRAP! HAVE YOU EVEN DONE ANYTHING? WHAT ABOUT WAITING UNTIL CHRISTMAS? THAT WAS A YEAR AGO MAN? WHATS UP?" He shouted.

"Geeze, dude, do you want the cops called on me? And, I'm…I'm just nervous I guess…"

"Sorry, but WHAT? Did I just hear that right? You? What? C'mon….."

"I know, I know. I want to…so badbut she's changing me man. I can't help but want to make it special for her. This is something that's she's cherished all of her life. I want this to be something that she can remember all of her life and not want it any other way…"

"Dude…I'm a chick physically, so I know that all she wants, is to just be with you. It doesn't even matter how it happens, she just wants it to be with you that's all." He stated, softly.

"You really think so?" I asked, hopeful.

"I know so." He smiled.

I then got a text.

Hey, I was thinking, we haven't had much alone time lately. Can I come over? ;)
-Clare

"Dude, she just uses a winkey face. She wants it." Adam chuckled.

I don't know what happened, but my confidence just dropped like a bomb. I moved so he couldn't see what I typed next.

Adams over, maybe tomorrow?

-Eli

I sighed. Then I turned to Adam and changed the subject.

"So, how's everything with Alli going?" He and alli had started dating about 6 months ago, after drew broke her heart. Adam assumed she just wanted to use him to get back at his brother, but he remembered what happened a year ago at the bowling ally…so now, here we are.

"We're going great. She really respects me. Drew's still pissed though; although, I like rubbing it in his face a little." He smiled.

I never got a reply back, from Clare. Was she mad? I don't know, but I figure ill just talk to her about it later.

We continued to talk about him and and managed to avoid the Clare situation.

But, then there was a knock at the door.

Adam and I looked at each other and shrugged, assuming it was the pizza we orderes. We walked down stairs, I approached the door and Adam was right behind me. I grabbed my wallet off the table and opened the door.

Standing there was a drenched Clare, looking pissed as ever. Her hair was covering her face mostly and her eyes were flaring. I couldn't help myself, but damn she looked hot when she was soaking wet and pissed off.

Adam obviously saw this too, because he was wide eyed.

"We need to talk." She said in a sweet voice. Where did that come from?

Adam got the hint she was giving and said, "Well, I must be getting going now. Alli texted me."

He then slipped between Clare and the doorway, and ran down the road. I opened the door wide, with a sigh, and she shoved passed me, heading strait to my bedroom.

oohhh cligghanger! haha sorry. Make youre guesses on how you think this night will go with eclare, happy or sad? hmm...please let me know in a review.

review? ill give you a jolly rancher. please? oh, no? oh okay...