The compulsion to lie is nothing less than a disease, something that runs through the veins like a toxin. Bunga Mawar Putih was her name, well one of them anyway. In English it translated to White Rose Flower and as we all know, every rose has its thorns. To her friends she was known simply as Hanna. She never really got to grips with reality and inhabiting a world of fantasy soon became the norm. A girl in decline, Hanna was gradually losing all identity and becoming detached from her mental faculties. Hanna was travelling on a brief break with her friend Sarah. It was a break from the past if nothing else. Hanna's life, whilst complex to its core, is best encapsulated through the weeks that preceded this journey. These weeks were a sinful tragedy and the lurid timeline of her love affair with Charles was destructive even in its brevity. As she boarded the bus it is true that Hanna felt very little from within, barren in every aspect of the word. Hanna was unable to feel either guilt or remorse and her heart struggled to remain pure in the battle against a dangerous and polluted mind. As the rickety old bus filled to capacity, Hanna started to look back in retrospect. All at once she was back there again, once upon a time in KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Centre).
Charles was passing through Malaysia as part of his backpacking adventure. He had previously met and decided to travel with his newfound Chinese girlfriend and life on the road had pushed the relationship to the very brink of its existence. Solo again, Charles felt liberated and free to act on his impulses for a change, it was refreshing. He knew that he loved his girlfriend, just sometimes he failed to realize how much. Hanna was an avid Couch Surfer and would often allow foreigners to crash at her place free of charge. It allowed her to practice her English, meet new friends, and indulge her warped thirst for fantasy and drama at the same time. They met through the Couch Surfing website and as part of a global gathering beneath The Petronas Twin Towers. Striking up an instant rapport, Charles was attracted to the mysterious allure of this young woman. It wasn't complicated and they could just talk the night away. Decisions were made and the two would go on to travel and live with one another. Charles could hear those voices in his mind telling him to steer clear, but to his detriment, manly curiosity was destined to get the better of his senses. Time made them friends, except what was happening here clearly went beyond the realms of mere friendship. Charles enjoyed the pure unadulterated fun they would have together, moments of happiness without any exhausting arguments or day-to-day conflicts of bygone days. Hanna? Well Hanna didn't even understand her own emotions and never knew what she wanted to achieve in the long run. Her problem was simple; she was addicted to lying and a master of doing so. Attention was the key and to describe Hanna's history of deceit would be a tall order to put it mildly. For Charles, it consisted of just three…
Time flew. The relationship inevitably grew sexual and culminated in one lust-fuelled evening of passionate lovemaking. Charles had a problem, for he had broken the golden rule and caught up in the heat of the moment failed to use any protection. Hanna was always so distant and possessed a glazed over stare as if she was pretending to listen rather than actually doing so. He tried to drum it into her head: "Hanna you must take the morning after pill, do you understand how important this is?" It was like talking to a child at times and she eventually agreed to do so the following day. Questioning her, Charles soon unveiled the fact that she had not even visited the doctor or taken any form of tablet at all. Confused, shocked and angry, Charles flew into a verbal rage in order to get to the bottom of this perceived game playing. Hanna started to cry and curled herself into a bundle in the far corner of the bedroom. Charles embraced her, trying to understand her and elicit the answers he so desperately needed to hear. The story he was about to hear was misery personified. Bunga was a girl born into dire poverty, her family struggling to live from day to day. Her Mother had abandoned her from day one and the cruel hands of her Grandmother had raised her. Hanna told Charles that one morning she was attacked on the way to school. Beaten, gagged and drugged, the two men in question had kidnapped her and brutally raped her for one week straight. Relentless as they were, Hanna zoned out and bleeding severely was left for dead. Found by her uncle, Hanna was taken to the village doctor and informed that she would no longer be able to bear children as a result of the internal damage. Left speechless by this tale of woe, Charles had a myriad of questions floating around in his head but he couldn't release them vocally. All he could do was hold this weak and vulnerable creature in his embrace and try to help her. Charles was capable of doing bad things but was the owner of a heart of gold nonetheless. Everybody either used or abused Hanna and he wanted to show her happiness if only for a brief moment in her life.
Hanna said she had only ever had one boyfriend, a Turkish guy who had once lived in Malaysia before returning home. Apparently they had met online and formed a relationship from that point on. One morning Charles logged into Facebook only to discover Hanna's failure to log out. He looked through her messages and words cannot convey the things he would see. The Turkish guy had broken up with her and Hanna had sent the following message:
"Sayang…I love you! I am weak these days and all I can feel is pain inside. I can't sleep anymore and I eat little every day! Please don't worry about me, this is my life and I don't know why I was born…I go to the doctor these days and he tells me to stay strong. I don't know how to say this…they say I can only live for three more years. When I was twelve I fell from a tree and every day I get headaches, so painful! They give me the medicine but I need an expensive operation, maybe in America… I don't want to pay because my life is not important. I would rather give my money to charity and the children of my village…I am sorry! I will always love you, please live your life and move on… Bunga x"
,
Charles felt winded by the words that stared him in the face. A sick feeling rushed from his stomach and he rushed to the bathroom. When Hanna returned he confronted her about these words and she only confirmed what he had read. Later that evening Charles ran to the kitchen in response to the sound of smashing glass. To his horror he found Hanna collapsed in the middle of the ice cold floor, her body smothered in shards of glass and her eyes rolling into the back of his head. At first he though she had taken an overdose, then he thought she was lying, then he thought she was dying…About to phone for an ambulance, Hanna struggled to her feet, seemingly disorientated and barely able to move. He didn't know how he knew, but he just did, something just wasn't adding up here. Charles could read Hanna better than most and whether it be cracks in her lies or a failure to speak fluent English; the truth eventually reared its ugly head. No, Hanna did not have three years to live and these maniacal actions were merely a continuation of the twisted lie she had once told her ex-boyfriend. You see, Hanna was madly in love with her ex and saw him as part of her future and a means of escape. When he ended things he had literally snapped her spirit in two and her spirit was not the only thing to snap. She lied to him in order to exact revenge, nothing more, nothing less. Any fool could have seen Hanna's devilish instability, but Charles could no longer distance himself from this whirlwind of madness. He was in too deep…
Mr Cheng was Hanna's boss. He was always around and Hanna was always babysitting his youngest daughter. Charles felt as though this man was just a little bit too nice, he just couldn't put his finger on it. As they lay under the stars Hanna told him that Mr Cheng had hired her and her family from Indonesia about ten years back. He gave her a beautiful home at a reduced rate and he offered her a more than satisfactory job. He only asked for one thing in return, utter respect and obedience. She spoke of how he made her do terrible things and how he held her passport in the palm of his hands. Evidently he could revoke her passport at any time and therefore wielded power over every aspect of Hanna's existence. Charles felt disgusted and helpless all at the same time. He was to return home soon, but he couldn't just leave Hanna in this world of hurt. He also knew that he was too young to and too inexperienced to change her life when he had barely started out in life himself! When he departed for England he fully intended to rescue Hanna from her torment. He wasn't sure whether he loved her or not, he wasn't sure of very much at all. All he knew was that he felt a deep-rooted obligation to save this profoundly lost soul.
Having returned home, Charles would receive a message from Hanna telling him she was pregnant…Charles felt like his young life was crumbling and disintegrating into a dirty residue. All he could do was contact Hanna's best friend Sarah who was living in Jakarta at the time…
"Charles…I got your message and I have spoken to Hanna, she loves you very much! Yes you are right, Hanna does sometimes lie, and she even lies to me about many things. We met in Bali and I became her friend even though I knew her problems. She likes to exaggerate a lot and I have come to accept this. Charles I don't know what to say to you but I think you are a good guy so I must tell you the truth…
Her grandmother did not raise Hanna; she was raised by her Mother and her entire family in a small village. Mr Cheng? No Charles he is not an evil man, he is a very kind and sweet man I have met him before. He married Hanna's Aunt and they both helped Hanna come to Malaysia so she could earn money and be free! Charles, as far as I know Hanna could always have children, I can't imagine she would lie about such things! I could not ask Hanna if she was pregnant but I asked her Uncle, he knows everything about her life. She is not pregnant at all and again, I didn't realize she could make up these kinds of things. Maybe you should contact her uncle; he seems to hate you a lot! Hanna has told him that you took advantage of her when on vacation, that you got her drunk and then when she was unconscious you had sex with her and it was her first time… I think this is another lie? Hanna has hurt you a lot and I don't know what to say except I hope you can find a way to forgive her. God bless you Charles, Sarah."
The driver approached the bus, his wide frame barely squeezing itself through the doorframe. Departure time was fast approaching, but then again, when does a bus ever leave on time in China…