Where the Hell Am I?

Post-Episode 70

By Jinxie

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; I just made up the stories. The beginning and ends of episodes are quoted from the actual TV series.

Content Warning: This is a series that takes place between episodes. The stories build upon the TV series and it is advised that you watch the episodes then read the post-episode (this story) in between. Many references by the characters are very specific to the episodes, so you may not get everything unless you watch at the same time or have the episodes memorized. The series does lead to a romantic relationship between two women, so if you don't like it don't read it.

Goal: To fill in the rest of the story of Xena and Gabrielle that I felt the series left out. This is more how I would have wished the show to go. I strive to make it a realistic love story of how the two get together and share their lives together. Please feel free to email me with constructive feedback Jinxie2013

End of Episode 70 (S4,E2): .

The Amazons are dancing around the fire celebrating the liberation of their Amazon sisters in the Land of the Dead. "Xena!" Otere yells, running to catch up to her friend.

"Otere. Tonight your destiny is fulfilled. You'll take my power as leader of the Amazons" Xena replies.

"Where are you going?" Otere asks.

"Home." Xena smiles. She holds up her hands which are stained with blood. "She's alive."

Xena pats her friend on the shoulder and takes off to Greece.

A/N: Warning! This has spoilers for Season 6, Episode 20, since the two episodes timelines happen simultaneously. This post episode has flash-backs as well as flash-forwards to that season 6 episode. This is my humble attempt to tie the two together and fix the mistakes that the show made. Be warned, hopefully it's not too confusing. If it is, oh well. I tried.

FLASH-BACK to Season 3, Episode 22 Season Finale – Gabrielle and Hope have fallen down pit:

The heat is excruciating, making her skin feel as though it's on fire. The fine hairs on her body wither and melt. She is still yelling for Xena. Suddenly she lands with a thud on something solid; not the lava she was expecting. It's a rock ledge, just big enough for her body. She looks over into the pit to see Hope being engulfed by flames. Gabrielle lays her head on the rock, writhing in pain from the heat. Her body is struggling to bring the hot air into her lungs. It's suffocating. She curls up in a ball as her body begins to shake. Each breath becomes more and more painful than the last. Her heart is pounding in her chest, sending sharp pains throughout her body. All she can hear is the hard, intense beating of her heart. Her vision becomes blurry, and then goes dark. Her mind's eye envisions her soul mate. I love you is her last thought. The bard breathes her last breath.

Hope's body is being held up by the flames of Dahok. Suddenly Ares appears next to her. "Need some help, love?" He asks as he holds out his hand. She laughs wickedly and then takes his hand. They both disappear.

MOMENTS LATER

Ares and Hope appear on the outskirts of Potedia. Not a soul is around to spot them. "Home, sweet home." He says to her as they both look around at the small farming town.

"This will be perfect to raise our child in." She says to him. Her hands claps together in front of her as the wheels in her mind turn. "My grandparents will be so glad to see me, 'Gabrielle'."

He smiles back at her, "Ok, so the plan is that you pose as the annoying blonde. Her family doesn't know the difference. You make them hate Xena even more because you tell them how bad she is to you, 'Gabrielle'. Then, you eventually tell them you are pregnant, since you won't be able to hide it. Our baby is born, the Destroyer is brought to earth. Does that sum it up?"

Hope's eyes brightened with every word. "Yes. Excellent."

"Well, I have fun. I'm off. I've got a small war to lead over in Corinth." He snaps his finger and is gone.

She turns towards the town and snickers, "Yes, this is the perfect place to raise the Destroyer."

MOMENTS LATER:

Ares is back in the lava pit, standing in air next to the ledge where he last saw Gabrielle. He has a dumbfounded look is on his face as he gawks at the bard. She is completely dead, no sign of life, no breath; nothing. Shit. I need her to use against Xena. Better get her to a healer. He says as he picks her lifeless form up, which hangs limp in his arms. He vanishes with her, only to show up at the outside of a hospice. He lays her on the front porch, then touches her forehead. His touch brings her back to life, but not completely back to full health. And let's just erase some of those memories too, shall we? He touches her head again, then knocks on the door. Before the door is answered, he disappears.

A healer steps outside and finds the body of a small woman. Looking around he sees no one that could have dropped her off. The woman appears dead, but he brings her inside and tends to her. After working on her for a few moments, he brings life back into her body. She wakes up, coughing as she urgently pulls air back into her lungs. The healer immediately gives her water to drink. After an hour or so, she finally seems coherent enough for him to talk with. He asks her name, to which she replies, "I don't know."

"You don't remember your name?" He asks, skepticism in his voice. Gabrielle thinks for several moments. She shakes her head from side to side. He gently cups her hands in his, "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you."

"Where am I?" She asks as she looks around. Why can't I remember anything at all? I feel so blank.

He sighs as he stands up, "You are in a hospice. Someone left you on the front steps. Oh my dear, I'm sorry to tell you but you were dead. Asclepius has smiled down upon you this day, little one. You miraculously came back to life."

Gabrielle is staring at this man, disbelief heavy on her heart. I was dead? "Thank you, for saving me. Can I stay here until I am strong enough to leave?"

"Of course you can. Rest easy." He leaves her to her thoughts, which are filled with a heavy void.

THAT SAME DAY:

Gabrielle's spirit is in a dark place. She doesn't know how long she has been here. It feels as though she has just woken up, like this is the first thought she's ever had in her life. She realizes that she is definitely not in the Elysian Fields. Where am I? I should be in Elysia like last time. She can't see anything, not even a hand in front of her face. She decides to try meditation. Maybe if I think hard enough I can be where I really want to be. She instantly thinks of Xena, focusing all her attention there. In front of her eyes, the darkness disappears. It's as if she is looking at a crystal ball, viewing another place on earth. The landscape is one she does not recognize, but the person she knows like the back of her hand. "Xena!" she shouts to the vision. To her surprise, Xena does not hear her. Her warrior is talking to a group of young women. I have to get to her. How can I get there? An idea forms in her head, maybe I can possess one of them like Xena did Autoclyus. She tries with everything in her being to possess one of the women. It doesn't work. This is hard, how did she do it! Oh yeah, 'many skills.' She spends the next few moments just watching her lover. Xena is covered in strange furs, beads and blood. Her eyes have dark rings under them and she looks like she has lost quite a bit of weight. After several minutes of watching, she realizes that Xena seems to be trying to find something, or someone. She has a determined look on her face, like when she is on a mission. "I hope you are not looking for me, my love. I'm dead."

Gabrielle sighs, then decides maybe she can possess Autoclyus since it's worked on him before with Xena. Thinking of the man, she suddenly finds that he is in front of her in the viewing window. He is in a bar drinking. With all her determination and will, she throws her mind towards him. It doesn't seem to work. She tries again, but this time she is so lost in concentration that she doesn't realize her spiritual body is moving toward the window. Suddenly she feels a pop as she enters the realm Autoclyus is in, then her spirit is sucked into his physical body, leaving the blackness behind. She is now looking through the eyes of the King of Thieves.

Autoclyus stands up, aware that something has happened. The feel of it itches a memory of his. "Xena?" he asks. No answer. He runs outside to find a trough of water. Looking down in he is shocked to see the face of Gabrielle staring back at him. He jumps and screams, "Ahhhh!"

Gabrielle realizes that she is in fact in his body and he has just noticed. "Autoclyus, calm down. It's me, Gabrielle."

"I know who you are dammit, how did you get in my body!" He yells, causing townsfolk around him to stare.

"I don't know. I'm dead. I need your help to find my body. I need to get back to it." Gabrielle pleads, praying that the man will help her.

Autoclyus sighs, "Seriously? Why does this keep happening to me? Fine. I'll help." To himself, he thinks Hm maybe I can get a little action with the warrior princess. I think they have the hots for each other.

"Autoclyus! I can hear your thoughts, stop it!" the bard yells at him. He growls at her as they wander off in search of her body.

TWO WEEK LATER:

Autoclyus and Gabby have not found her body anywhere. They had been through every village near the Dahok's temple, but no one had seen anyone that matched her description. Then they went back to the pit, it wasn't there either as far as they could see. "Autoclyus, I think we need Xena."

He kicks a rock into the lava pit, "Yeah, I agree. She'll know what to do. At least she needs to know you are alive in spirit, right? Actually, why didn't we just do that to begin with?"

"Well, before I possessed your body, I saw her in the place I was in. It was dark all around, but I was able to see into this world like through a window. Anyway, I saw her. She was not in Greece. She is somewhere else. I figured it was best to get my body first." She sighs, "I guess I was wrong."

Auto thought about that for a moment. "Alright, well do you know what country she is in?"

"No. Maybe I can try to find her again, like I did before. Hold on." Gabrielle closed her spiritual eyes and focused all her thoughts on Xena. A few moments tick by with nothing. As she was about to give up, a spark of light entered her vision. Suddenly, she could see her warrior! The town she was in looked very familiar. It was a town they had been to before, in Greece. "Autoclyus, I know where she is. She's back in Greece, we have to find her."

A WEEK LATER:

After periodic check in's with Xena's whereabouts, they finally arrive in the same area that Xena is camped for the night. Auto, with Gabby's guidance, finds her quickly in the forest. As he approaches, he steps on a twig and it snaps. He winces as he realizes that he will have a sword at his throat in moments.

"Move and I'll slit your throat where you stand." A cold hard voice says to him as steel presses against his jugular.

"Xena, it's me Autoclyus." His voice is shaky.

Xena re-sheathes her sword. "You shouldn't sneak up on me like that. What are you doing here?" She turns to head back to her fire.

He sighs and walks with her back to her camp, but he doesn't speak until he sits down. "Well, I came to find you actually."

She interrupts him, "How did you know where I was? I've been on the move and staying away from civilization." I can't have interruptions like this, I need to find Gabrielle. Please don't have some stupid mission for me to help you on.

"Yeah, well I have a good explanation as to how I found you." He says, then Gabrielle speaks to him in his thoughts. Tell her I'm in here! In answer to her, he blurts out loud, "I know dammit! I'll tell her. Simmer down."

Xena looks at him with an eyebrow quirked, "Huh?"

He laughs nervously, "Sorry. I have some news about Gabrielle." Xena eyes quickly dart back to him away from the fire. "It appears that you both are able to take over my body whenever you want." He taps his head with his finger.

Xena sits up on her knees and puts her face an inch from his. "Gabby?" she says with a slightly hopeful smile as she gazes intently into his eyes. He pulls back away from her. Xena pulls away also, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, I thought you meant she was in there."

"She is. But she doesn't control me, she just talks to me. We haven't tried letting her talk."

Xena can't stop staring at him. "Let her talk."

"Ah... ok. Gab?" he asks, then rolls his eyes as if looking into his head for her. "Yeah, not working. Look, why don't I just translate for you?"

Gabrielle says to Autoclyus, "Tell her that my spirit is separated from my body. I haven't crossed over to the afterlife." Auto repeats to Xena.

Xena breath catches as she tries to inhale. "Oh Gabby."

"Tell her she needs to help me get back to it somehow. I don't know if it will work the same as it did with her, but we have to at least find my body and try." Gabrielle says, then he dutifully repeats.

Xena nods her head, "Of course. We'll leave at first light. Gabrielle, do you think you can try to talk to me, like I did with you that one time? I want to see you."

Gabrielle speaks to Autoclyus, "How did it work last time? Did you have to totally blank out so that she could take over?"

Autoclyus thought for a moment, then answered her, "Yeah, I can try that." Then to Xena, "I'm going to try to let her take over. Good luck."

"Gabrielle, when I did it I had to really use all my strength to make it happen. It took a lot of energy." Xena smiles, then closes her eyes. "I'm ready."

Gabrielle plunges herself into a deep meditation so she can concentrate her energy where she needs it. She visualizes being Autoclyus and using his mouth to speak. Soon, it begins to happen and words form on her mouth. She opens her eyes, "Xena?" She looks at her own hands, which are definitely not man hands. "Xena, open your eyes."

The warrior opens them to find Gabrielle's body a foot away from her own. "Gabby!" she rushes to pull her into a hug, squeezing her bard tight. "I've missed you so much."

The bard laughs as she keeps her arms wrapped tight around the warrior. She feels so real, everything feels real. "I love you, Xena."

Xena pulls back just enough to see Gabrielle's eyes. She stoops her head down and captures the bard's lips in a searing kiss. "I'll get you back, sweetheart, I promise. I was on my way to Potedia to see if you went there. I had a feeling that you might still be alive." She doesn't want to tell Gabrielle about the vision Alti gave to her. But she knows that Gabrielle will be back in her body, otherwise they could not die on the cross together as in that vision.

"I know you will figure it out. You always do, honey. So did I just kiss you or Auto?" Gabrielle chuckles.

"It was me, I promise." Xena winks, then her smile quickly fades as Gabrielle begins to fade away.

"Xena! What's happening!"

"I don't know. Hold on to me in your mind Gabrielle!" Xena began to panic, afraid to again lose the one person that means more to her than life itself.

"I can't. Xena, I can't hold on. Something is tearing me away! I love you! I'll find you!" she screamed, suddenly she was gone.

Xena and Autoclyus stood facing each other, wrapped in each other's arms. Immediately they stepped away from each other. "Did it work?" Autoclyus asks.

"Yeah, it worked. Is she still in there?"

Autoclyus is silent for a moment. "I can't feel her. I think she is gone."

A tear falls from Xena's eye, she quickly wipes it away as she sits back down by the fire. "Thanks for letter her use your body. It means a lot to us."

"Well I am not exactly happy about it. You guys owe me."

Xena stares at him in disbelief. "You told me after I helped you with Pax that if I ever needed to

use your body again that I could."

"Yeah, YOU. Not her."

"Well, close enough. She is as much a part of me as I am her." Xena says somberly. After a few

minutes trading stories from the past few weeks, they both decide to go to sleep.

Sleep does not come easily for the warrior princess. What if she died? What if her spirit died and she's gone now! Oh gods, please don't let that be the case. I have to find out for sure. I have to see if she reunited with her body in that lava pit.

FLASH BACK TO WHEN GABRIELLE'S SPIRIT LEAVES AUTO:

Suddenly she is in darkness again. "NO!" she screams at the void. There is no echo in response, just silence. She begins to sob, screaming in agony as her soul is in tremendous pain. Once her voice is hoarse with use, she falls into a disturbing slumber.

INSERT POST-EPISODE 68, "DARKNESS" - Gabrielle awakens in the hospice with no memory, as usual. Later that day, her memory hits her in full force. Gabby's whole being is back; body, mind, spirit, and soul. She doesn't remember her journey in Autoclyus' body. She doesn't remember her journey in darkness. All she remembers is falling into the pit and waking up in the hospice. Her first stop Potedia, then on to Amphipolis.

SAME TIME AS "DARKNESS", FLASHFORWARD TO SEASON 6, EPISODE 20 - Xena and Joxer look for Gabby together. She agrees to marry Ares, but only if he leaves her and Gabrielle to finish their lives together in peace:

Ares is in the middle of coitus with a random woman. He suddenly stops his thrusting, "She's alive." He pulls out of the woman and kicks her out of bed. He is distraught, not quite knowing what to do next. Well, my deal with Xena is almost sealed. I could use this to get her to put her print on that contract. I'll tell her that Gabrielle wanted me to save Hope. That will make her angry at Gabrielle, so she'll want to marry me. Ha, that could work.

That day, Xena signs the marriage contract.

FLASH BACK TO XENA LEAVING AUTOCLYUS AT CAMP:

The next three days are a blur for Xena. She has pushed herself and her horse too hard. In a nearby town, she spots Joxer in a bar. After much discussion, she convinces him to go with her to the temple to see if Gabrielle is there still. When they finally arrive to the temple, Joxer cannot get himself to go inside. "Xena, I can't see that place again. I just can't do it. I was there a week ago, and I swore to myself that I wouldn't come back. I left her flowers." He starts to tear up.

"It's ok, Joxer. I'll go in. I'll be back in a bit, huh?" she pats him on the shoulder then enters the trashed temple. She slowly walks to the pit, fighting strong emotions every step of the way. "Gabrielle? Are you here honey?" As she approaches the pit, she stumbles to her hands and knees as the memory of her beloved's death haunts her vision. She crawls to the edge of the pit and looks down at the lava river below. Slowly, she begins to lower herself down, climbing carefully down the heated rock.

Meanwhile outside, Joxer has collected some new flowers. With a new resolve, he forces himself to face the fiery tomb once more, for Gabrielle's sake. He approaches it slowly, experiences the same emotional waves as Xena. Oh Gabby. I miss you so much. I never got to tell you how much I love you. Sitting on the edge of the pit, he starts to talk to his friend.

After several minutes of climbing, Xena gets to a point in which she can go no further. The heat is torture against her skin making her feel as though it may blister. The heat is unbearable and is causing her body to shut down, each breath becoming too painful to bear. She is hanging on to a rocky ledge. As she puts her hands on it, she notices drops of blood pooled on the rock. "Gabrielle."

Beginning of Episode 71: (A COUPLE MINUTES LATER)

Joxer is sitting over the pit, playing with flowers. "I brought your favorite; daisies. They're in bloom now, so I can bring them fresh to you every day. Gabrielle." He sniffs a flower then puts it over the opening to the lava pit to release it to Gabrielle's place of rest.

Suddenly his arm is grabbed violently from inside the pit. He screams in horror and fear. A voice says, "She's alive!" Xena pulls herself up Joxer's arm.

"Xena? What are you-What are you doing? Gabrielle's alive? She's alive?" he says urgently.

"Yeah. I had a vision. I couldn't be sure until now."