The Smashers, who had just previously escaped church, where now standing in McDonald's. Zelda looked around and, being the bright one, took a time of three minutes to figure out the ordering system.
"Okay troops," she stated, earning herself a skeptical look from most of the smashers. Ignoring this she continued, "See the flashy, shiny billboard thingies with food on them? Well, you have to order that food, which is held behind that counter. Got me so far guys? ………. Guys?"
The Smashers had long since abandoned Zelda's long boring monologue and, upon hearing where the food was held, started a "tribal meeting" to steel it. So far they had gotten, well, nowhere. At that very moment Zelda, the brains of these sorts of things, showed up.
"Zellie!" Peach squealed, "Yay! Now we can get somewhere!"
Zelda eyed Peach, slightly annoyed, and preceded, "Well we're going to need a spy, a distraction, and a thief. Any volunteers?"
Samus raised her hand, "Spy" She muttered, her hood still low on her face.
Zelda nodded, "Go figure out where each of the food is kept, and see if you can work out the best way to smuggle it." Samus walked off.
"I'll smuggle it! OHH! OHH! PICK ME! PICK ME!" Gannondorf squealed, much like Master Hand did in chapter one.
"Um, let me see," Link pretended to look serious, "NO!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Gannondorf ran off crying.
At that very moment Samus slipped back into the group and told them all the info she had asked one of the employees about.
"YOU ASKED AN EMPLOYEE HOW TO SMUGGLE FOOD!" Bowser yelled shocked. "I think I'm going to faint! Auuuuuh!"
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight," Zelda said, "Link how about you just smuggle it, you're good at that kind of stuff."
"Okay princess, but I'm going to need your circlet, earrings, gloves, tights, and shoes." Link said simply. Zelda just sighed and gave Link all the stuff he had asked for. Winking Link slipped off.
The rest of the group turned to look at Bowser. He was passed out on the floor, looking very feminine. Peach sighed and pulled out a tube of lipstick.
"He needs work." She stated promptly, brandishing her tube of hot pink material. She leaned over Bowser and made some brandishing movements humming 'What I like about you' and swaying slightly.
Marth and Roy exchanges worried glances as Peach started to all out sing. When the mushroom princess straightened up, and the two swordsmen got a good look at Bowser, in his hot pink lip stick, they where even more horrified than before. Peach had also managed to put a lavender bow, which she had produced from nowhere, in his fiery red hair.
Zelda, looking very disturbed, patted Peach's head, "Um, right. Distractions?" She asked uneasily.
Peach leaned up and whispered something in Roy's ear.
"Peach," Roy cried, "Keep this PG, or K!"
Peach pouted. "Fine," she finally said, "I have another way of distracting people!" She then preceded over t the ordering counter and climbed on it.
"Uh-oh" Marth whispered to Donkey Kong. He was right.
Peach kicked off her shoes as some anonymous music came on. "And all that jazz!" she sang along with the song from Chicago, while doing a dance. Suddenly glittery lights came on and the whole McDonalds was quite, except for Peach. She took off her crown, pulled a beet form the ground, and spun it around her head. "Start the car, I know a wh-"
Men in black tights and blue t-shirts cut Peach short by grabbing her and caring her off. The distraction had worked, though, because at that very moment Link walked out from behind the counter Peach had been dancing on, looking utterly ridicules. He was wearing the garb he had stolen from Zelda and had, apparently, tucked all the food under his tunic. This resulted in him looking a lot like a pregnant woman.
Zelda, between laughing fits, said, "Okay, hee hee, now we can, haha, leave." Then she broke down entirely and had to be carried out.
At the door Marth checked to see that they where all there. Bowser had been revived, Peach was carried off, Link had Zelda, and Gannondorf…
"Where's Gannondorf?" Marth cried, causing Zelda to stop laughing and Link drop her on the floor. They both knew an unaccounted for crazy villain was never good.
An evil laugh suddenly split the air. Gannondorf appeared in a puff of smoke and started to throw energy balls in every direction. Link whipped out the Master Sword, but he didn't have to. The smoke continued to engulf him and in a flash of light he was gone and in his place stood…
"A pig!" Zelda cried, going back into her previous state of laughter.
"ONIK!" the pig that was formally Gannondorf squealed.
Link sighed and replaced the Master Sword. Shaking his head he hoisted Zelda off the ground, being careful not to smash the food. He turned towards the door and started walking. All of the sudden an explosion that made the ground shake.
Samus turned around to stare at what was formally Gannondorf. Needless to say, the explosion had something to do with him because he was now a chicken.
"Ba-gak!" The chicken/Gannondorf cried.
At this Zelda laughed so hard that she passed out, much to the relief of the other Smashers. Roy picked up the chicken and warily held it at arms distance. By this time the entire group of McDonald's costumers where looking uneasy.
"Guys I think we should leave," Mewtwo said, "Now."
"NOOOOOOOO!" Fox wined and sat down on the floor pouting.
"Bleep, beep, blipidy, beep." Mr. Game and Watch beeped. It roughly translated into "Fox there are flies here,"
It took a moment for the smashers to understand what had been said, but when they did there was plenty of action. Jiggily Puff was busy comforting Fox, who, in addition screaming, had managed to wet himself. On top of that Zelda was starting tow wake up.
"Wuzzup?" she slurred, fighting to maintain control of her voice. Apparently she was still trying to contain laughter.
"In a nut shell?" Link asked, finally figuring her could put her on her feet.
Zelda, one she was standing, nodded.
"Well Fox didn't want to leave, so he started pouting, the Game and Watch mentioned flies and he wet himself." Link summarized.
Zelda let out a snort-laugh, but managed to refrain from hysterics. While she was attempting to get a serious face on, Samus noticed something was wrong.
"Um, guys," she said nervously, "where did all the nice people's food go?"
Every suddenly gasped, in unison, realizing the their food was gone. Suddenly, Samus' question was answered. It started gradually, with quiet music. The tune was oddly familiar, Mario noted. Then he realized, with horror, what it was.
As 'All That Jazz' suddenly got much louder, bright neon lights started flashing. Out of the mist that had filled the McDonald's from some unknown source, the food appeared. They were all dresses in skimpy clothes and pole dancing on straws. Then the Smashers' question as to why this madness was happening was answered.
"And all…" Peach screamed/sung very off key, suddenly materializing out of the mist as well, "that…" The men in black tights appeared, singing as well, "JAAAAAAAAAZ!"
Everyone was silent for roughly five minutes, and then slowly, someone started to clap. Others joined in, some even stood, until the whole restaurant was in an uproar. Samus an Captain Falcon exchanged freaked out looks, as the other Smashers joined the cheer that had swept through the McDonalds.
"Fish sticks, fish sticks, fish sticks…"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Samus asked.
A shrug was all she got in return.
A while later, the chaos had died down, the Smashers had eaten, and hey were standing in a parking lot.
"Now what?" Luigi asked
Suddenly Master Hand appeared. "You may come home now." He said.
The cheering was insane. Yoshi and Jiggily-Puff started dancing, Link and Zelda started making-out, and Gannondorf laid an egg. That was the end of the Smashers adventures in the real world for a long time!
AN/ Not as long as the first one, but probably as random. Thank you for all who reviewed the first chapter!