Author's Note: this one is a real AU from the start.

Chapter Two

Naruto The Mad Scientist

Sandaime heard a very loud terror filled scream from his office. After years of same things, this was now a common occurrence, so he didn't so much blink when it was followed by sounds of heavy explosion and later a fu fu fu and then mwa ha ha ha laughter that he had come to be familiar with coming from speakers that were planted by the culprit in hidden spots. Several Anbu nearby shook their heads in exasperation, not directed toward the source of the creepy laughter, but to those who had the idiocy to face against the one who was responsible for the explosion.

You'd think the villagers would get tired trying to harm the vessel after they got their asses handed to them by said boy they attempted to kill numerous times. They thought they could get a chance to do that just because said vessel wasn't a ninja. Unfortunately for those stubborn people, said vessel was much more dangerous than any ninja they had ever met. They surely had thick skulls. The boy wasn't someone anyone (except those idiots) wanted to be an enemy.

Area 30 or now more commonly known as Uzumaki District, for no one dared to live nearby his house…and lab anymore, was deemed as hazardous area for any sane person. There was only one building standing perfectly in radius 200 meters: his house and lab. The others were leveled and totaled years ago after his creations wreaked havoc to find the assassin who had attempted to kill their creators (said assassin went to Anbu nearby and confessed his crime, begging them to save his hide from the 'despicable abominations that come from the ninth hell').

Now the vessel's house was truly a sight to behold, particularly after he finished 'upgrading' the building. It now looked like a fortified fort in the middle of ruins, exceeding even the famed Hokage Tower. The so-called abominations were patrolling the area like a dragon defending its nest. The area was deemed more dangerous than even the infamous Forest of Death (it was even fenced by the ninjas…not to keep in the abominations for the fence held no candle to them, but to keep out curious—and murderous—people). The only one that dared to venture the area (and coming out unharmed) was Konoha's beloved sandaime. And that was only because the vessel's creations allowed him to enter.

"Hokage-sama, do you think we should send for a medic?" his assistant asked boredly. It was a routine question now.

"Ye—" the old man stopped. "Where does the man land on?"

"Still in Uzumaki District," he said, popping a peanut into his mouth, as he watched the human rocket landed on one of the ruins in the area. It was a miracle that till now there was no death at all…though they had to stay bedridden for a very long time (the fastest time to get out of hospital was 7 months, and that was 5 years ago when the vessel started to go haywire) or had to be commuted to mental institution. Personally he thought that the vessel just didn't want to deal with the rant that would be sure coming from the Hokage.

"Then wait till the man gets out of the area before you send the medic. We don't want the medic to be hurt now, do we?" he said without looking, as he signed his much hated paperwork. He viciously stamped the paper with a scowl.

"Understood, Hokage-sama," the assistant left the room leisurely. With all the craziness all around, let's just say that it affected the Leaf-nins. What used to be abnormal for them was now a normalcy, nothing that needed to be overly worried about.

Three hours later, sandaime was handing down mission scroll for rookie Team 10, when a dog with Konoha's hitae ate entered the room. The old Hokage wondered what was wrong with Kakashi's team for he knew that the one who had the ability to summon dog was the pervert jounin. The bulldog sat and waited until a ninja removed the scroll before poofing out.

"It seems that Team 7's mission actually turns out to be A-rank mission, not the C-rank mission we first thought," said Sandaime after reading the scroll with grim face.

"What? Sasuke' kun is in danger?" Ino who was coincidentally there shouted in alarm.

The senior ninjas watched her disapprovingly for her rude interruption. Iruka decided to save her.

"Hokage-sama, we should send a squad to help them," the young teacher suggested.

"Yes, you're rig—" there was a small quake and a loud unfamiliar swooshing sound that caused all of them to cover their ears nearby. "What's that?" he asked in alarm. He felt dread and immediately suspected that it had something to do with Naruto and his experiment. The sound was still there, though smoother.

"…Ah, Hokage-sama, perhaps you should see it yourself," Iruka stammered, as he watched the sky from a window.

"Huge flying pen?" someone offered, only to get hit in the head by his incredulous comrade.

"—st be that darn kid again," someone complained.

"Shh!! Are you trying to get yourself killed for badmouthing him?" another elbowed him harshly. "He has spies everywhere!"

The old Hokage had the urge to bash his head against the table.

Not a minute later a metal bird robot entered the room. It settled on Sarutobi's table. He swallowed the sigh that threatened to come out. It was Naruto's usual notice after he did something he shouldn't…big time.

"Hiyaa, old man, how're you doing?" a young cheerful male voice came out of a speaker that was set on the small bird…somewhere. "Fu fu fu, just want to tell you that I've just experiment with my lovely missile—that's the thing that you've just seen in the sky by the way. Anyway, not to worry, I didn't put gunpowder or something equally explosive there. The site where it will crash into, however, will be trashed because of the impact. I didn't set it to somewhere in Fire Country so you have nothing to worry about. And if my special 'delivery' fail, you just have to look into laughing epidemic and you'll know where it lands on. I have an antidote if something like that happens. Mwa ha ha. That man shouldn't try cheating on me and now he'll face the consequence," there was another set of mad laughter before the record stopped and the bird flew away.

The Hokage had a puzzled look on his face. "Laughter epidemic?" he repeated confusedly. The word 'antidote' replayed on his head and his face paled. Don't tell me he's creating a disease no! It's already bad enough with his machines! And who the hell is he talking about?

Minutes later in Wave

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, what is that?" Sakura pointed at the sky. The people on the market noticed it too and they were pointing and whispering. "Uh…it comes closer," she squeaked. She blinked when the flying…thing landed somewhere else away from the market…away from the island actually. "Do you think we should investigate it?"

"Oey, do you think it lands on Gatou's base?" a hopeful man asked his neighbour.

"Man, if it does, God surely grants our wish," his friend said skeptically. "Nah, we're not that lucky."

"But the thing does land nearby his place. That's the direction on his base after all," a woman cut in.

Kakashi closed his book with a sigh. "Sakura, go back with Tazuna and guard him. I'll check it out."

"But, sensei—" he was already gone. "Mou, Kakashi-sensei!"

On Gatou's base Kakashi was sweatdropping when he saw a long white tub with red head crash the place. But what made him sweatdropping was the fact that there were people, he bet his ass off that they were the criminal's men, laughing their heads off while clutching their hurting sides without being able to stop. Some were moaning for help while they laughed. There was also a monitor that was placed on the huge tube playing off a record off a young blonde boy he had the misfortune to know mocking them.

"Mwa ha ha ha, you should know that no one, and I mean NO ONE ever dared to cheat on me before. Loads of money just for a C-grade steel? You're trying to rip me off, eh?" the blonde figure was doing a jig. "Let people know that cheaters like you will always face the consequence of trying to lie to me, the Great Uzumaki Naruto-sama! And now you bitch has the pleasure of being my guinea pig of my newest solution: Deadly laughter solution, guaranteed to be really deadly and I mean it literally. Heh heh I guess that the saying 'dying of laughter' can be applied here literally. U fu fu fu fu. Have fun with your last moments!" the screen showed the young boy doing a weird ritual of dancing jig. The message then started again, but this time there wasn't a single person aside from Kakashi paid attention to it. They had heard the notification 12 times already that day, and beside their sides hurting too much to let them think of anything else.

Kakashi was thankful for his mask. Still he didn't dare to stay there for long. No idea when the solution will be able to penetrate the white cloth that had covered his lower half face.

"I can't believe the brat has gone international already," he muttered under his breath in amusement. The blonde boy had always kept in the destruction inside his district in Konoha after all.

Two weeks later Team 7 left the Bridge named Great Naruto Bridge (Kakashi told Tazuna about the culprit of the destruction of Gatou's tyranny and from there everyone knew about their awesome 'hero').

Months Later

"Ibiki-san, there are enemy ninjas coming from the East!" a breathless chuunin informed worriedly.

Said Head of Interrogator raised his eyebrow. "East, you say?" the ninja nodded. "Leave them."

"But—" he spluttered.

"He will take care of them," he cut off.

"Who?" the chuunin asked again.

"…Ah," a jounin nearby said softly, realizing who Ibiki was talking about. "Of course…If they come from the East, they'll have to cross that district," he grinned in amusement. "He's right. He or more precisely his guards will stop them," he smirked wickedly. His friends grinned in agreement.

The chuunin was still confused.

"It doesn't matter," he waved him off. "Go back to your duty!" Ibiki barked.

"Y-yes, sir!"

Not long after, Ibiki and others could hear people were screaming in fright from East, followed by blasting and swooshing loud sounds. There were explosions that made the ground trembled.

"Sounds like they had met them," someone said, shivering. He had seen first hand how they treated their victims and was sure as hell didn't want to be one of the unfortunate ones.

"Yup!' Ibiki said cheerfully. "Yay, Go! Go, Naruto!!" he cheered when some missiles were blasting off the three headed snake. Some were giving him odd looks. The snake heads were hissing before a big explosion took a chunk of their body. The summoned snake poofed out of sight.

"Holy, shit! What the fuck is that?" the same chuunin shouted in alarm.

"Nothing you need to be concerned about, brat!" Ibiki yelled.

"Y-yes, sir!"

"Mwa ha ha ha, you think you can just trespass my place?" a young voice coming from speaker said. "WRONG! Now feel my WRATH! U fu fu fu fun."

"…That's him alright," one jounin muttered.

"Need any help, boys?" Ibiki turned to see a grinning Jiraiya.

"Nah, it's under control, Jiraiya-sama. Why don't you help Hokage?" he suggested.

"Will do. Hm…any explanation about those explosions?"

"Sarutobi-sama can tell you about it," Ibiki informed.

"Alright," he shrugged and vanished.

Sometime later

"We're looking for yondaime's legacy," Itachi informed.

Kakashi and the others were ah and oh-ing. "Okay," he dropped his guarded stance and put his hands on his hips, looking relaxed despite being in the presence of two S-class missing nins.

"…Excuse me?" the Uchiha blinked.

"I said 'okay'. We won't hold you if you want to meet him. By the way…good luck," the other jounins were nodding in agreement. Kisame was bewildered by their odd reaction. That was it? Just that? There was something terribly wrong there.

The two Akatsuki members watched in unease, as they walked away to search the blonde boy. The Leaf jounins were giving them pitying looks. Kurenai even wiped her tears, as she muttered about how great ninjas they were, and how they would be missed.

"Is there something we don't know about?" Kisame asked worriedly.

"I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about this," Itachi didn't know how right he was.

The End.

My uptake about Naruto being a mad scientist instead of ninja. Naruto's said creations were that of black spider shaped robots with laser and other assortments of weapons, including none life threatening ones (but embarrassing and certainly painful ones).