Like a bad case of herpes or a second-wave case of the shits-Here we go again!

Raph asked, "Ok, what do you guys think ol' Shredder's up to THIS time?"

Leo replied, "It could be anything, keep sharp!"

Mikey answered, "Yeah, the way we kicked his ass LAST time, I KNOW he's not happy! Hahahaha!"

As the turtles walk along the busy sidewalk, they came across a familiar face…

Raph said, "Hey guys, it's that Irma chick, maybe SHE knows where April is?

Donny winced and relied, "Oh no, you mean that girl with the breath that smells like 100 asses?"

Leo rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, c'mon, Donnie. 100 asses? She's not that bad!"

Mikey curled his upper lip and answered Hah! Easy for YOU to say—for SOME reason, YOU seem to always be able to get out of TALKING to her!

Raph then nodded his head in agreement. He said, "I hate to say this, because she seems like a sweet kid, but girlie needs a..a..Listerine blow-pop, or something!"

Mikey said, "Yah, TELL me about it, if I had any Scope-flavored Now and Laters, they'd be HERS, man!

Just then, the turtles and Irma approached each other. The turtles were still mumbling amongst themselves and as Irma got closer, Leo quickly quieted his brother, intensely whispering, ."SHH…guys, knock it off, here she is!"

Raph smiled and said, "HEEEEEY Irma! How ya' been, kiddo?"

Irma sighed and said, Well, I've been—"

Mikey, smelling her breath, and actually FEELING his mask melting a bit, quickly cuts her off, "—Uh yeah, we were wondering if you knew where April was."

Irma nodded and answered, "Sure, she's at her favorite drug store buying some douche. She was telling me earlier that her vag was PARTICULARLY rancid TODAY! To make matters worse, it's supposed to be 90 degrees and HUMID! Do you guys BELIEVE that? I'll tell ya'—"

Raph puts his hands over his ears and interrupts Irma, fearing that he's heard too much and starts singing over Irma's voice, "LAAAALAAAALAAALALALALALAAAAA—OKAAAAAY THANKS, IRMAAAAA!"

Leo nodded and said, "Uh, thanks, Irma. Guys, let's get going!"

Irma shrugged and watched them walk away toward April's favorite drugstore.

Leo said, "Ok guys, April's favorite drugstore is up about 12 blocks, still. We have to hurry.

Mikey tried to adjust his mask and said, "That chick's breath was ABOMINABLE, dudes! My mask is ACTUALLY starting to MELT!"

Donnie looked at Mike incredulously and answered, "WOW! It looks like you're crying ORANGE tears, hahahaha!"

Mikey replied, "SOME of those tears are REAL, dude. Why does her breath HAVE to smell like that? Like she has a..a…dogcrap-scented incense in her MOUTH, or something!"

Leo laughed a little and said, "C'mon, Mikey, we gotta' get going.

Donny spoke next, well, I AM wondering why she has morning breath and it's the AFTERNOON! Hell, I'm just glad hat, for once, she didn't have to use a lot of 'H-words', yeesh!"

Mikey added, "Yeah, or any SECRETS to tell—people with bad breath ALWAYS have secrets, for some reason.

Leo ignored Don and Mikey and said, "OK, we still have a ways to go, April's favorite pharmacy is still up like 12 blocks!"

So, the turtles groaned collectively and continued up the block toward the store.

Meanwhile, underground…somewhere…

Shredder said to his troops, "Ok, my foot soldiers, go get that girl and bring her to me! "

5 of the foot soldiers bowed and immediately left to go on the surface.

Shredder pointed to three more soldiers, smiled and said, "Ok, you make the baked beans and you two bring in the super amplification device and get it running. When you are finished and that little girl is HERE, we shall ALL go to the surface, by THEN, it should be at LEAST 85 degrees, HAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

Shredder started passing out pills to each of the foot soldiers, "Here, take these, they're anti-quake and anti-smell pills, you'll need them later, hahahahaaaa! Okay, quick—go get her, she's still in that pharmacy!"

The foot left and went up to the surface. They're only a block away from the store. They busted in the place, April saw them and tried to fight them off, but one of them put a rag in her face with chloroform on it and she fainted. The soldiers looked around amongst the crowd, who were gasping and shrieking in horror, and hurriedly made their way out of the store and back underground.

A few minutes later, the turtles approach the store. Mikey looks up at the sign and said, "Haha…no WAAAY—this sign ACTUALLY says, 'April's favorite Pharmacy'! Check it out!"

Leo rolled his eyes and replied, "Mikey, It couldn't POSSIBLY say—oh damn, it actually DOES say 'April's favorite Pharmacy!'"

Donny answered, "Yeah, this place opened about 5 weeks ago—apparently, most of the people that GO to this place are named April-but that's not the strangest part."

Raph furrowed his brow and asked, "Well what could be stranger than the NAME of this joint?"

Donny answered, "They ONLY sell feminine hygiene products!"

The other turtles just looked at each other before they entered the store.

Leo rubbed his temples in a circular motion, sighed, and said, "Ok guys, let's go in."

As they went in, Donny sniffed the air, as there was a faint green mist lingering around still. *sniff sniff* Donny said, "Yep, she was HERE, alright, and, from , UGH, the smell of things, it wasn't that long ago, either!"

Raph expressed, "Yeah, it has that…smell to it. We've ALL heard of fish and chips—well this smells like fish and PISS, UGH! Hey Donnie boy, how do you like your girl NOW?"

Don answered, "Yeah, whatever."

Mike asked, "Yuck, what IS that, guys?"

The other turtles just looked at one another. Raph said, "You don't wanna' know, kid."

Leo looked around at the still-panicked crowd. He said, "We'll have to ask these people if they saw April and THEN, if they saw what HAPPENED to her."

Meanwhile, in Shredder's underground lair…

Shredder's sat in his metal recliner and the soldiers have returned with an unconscious April O'Neil.

Shredder stood up from his seat with a sinister smile and said, "WONDERFUL my soldiers, you've done WELL! NOW, ATTACH her to the amplification device and move it to the top of the Empire State building —at ONCE! In the meantime, I'll bring the baked beans, NYAHAHAHAHAAAA! Damn, it feels so good to be sooooo bad!"

So, the foot soldiers moved the machine—along with an unconscious FULLY-CLOTHED April (for you sickos out there)—to the center of the sewer system. April's strapped up, suspended in midair, with the machine attached directly below her, between her legs.

Shredder said, "Ok, take her to the ROOF of the Empire State building, I'll be up shortly!"

The foot clan bowed and did just that. Shredder soon joined them. Shredder approached April and dry-heaved at the smell of her vag, which was strong—even through her jeans.

Shredder ordered the foot to take both of the pills they'd all been given earlier and then, none of them could smell April's…aroma—or anything else, for that matter.

Shredder smiled evilly and said, "Foot, bring me the baked beans, and wake Ms. O'Neil up! The reason I want this girl is simply because she, in particular, has a rather...NOTORIOUS aroma to her, hahahaaaa!"

The Foot clan put some ice on April's feet and she started to stir a little. Her vision cleared up and Shredder came into focus.

April screamed, "OH NO!...IT'S SHREDDER! What do YOU want? The turtles will be here to kick your ASS!"

Shredder laughed, "Awww…Miss O'Neil, I've always loved your DROLE sense of humor, HAHAHAHAAAA!"

April answered, "Why am I tied up? UGH—I c-can't MOVE! What are you doing with me?"

Shredder smiled and said, "That's for me to know and YOU to WONDER about! Foot soldiers open her legs! It's the PERFECT temperature-it's a LOVELY humid 88 degrees right now-the city will SUFFER!"

The soldiers opened April's legs, of course, not being affected by the odor between them. April tried fighting them, but couldn't. April was suspended in midair, the amplification device fixated between her legs and aimed out toward the city.

Shredder said calmly, "Okay April O'Neil, you're gonna' tell me where the turtles' LAIR is—NOW, or ELSE!

April angrily retorted, "NEVER, and there's nothing you can do to MAKE me talk, either!"

Shredder replied, "Oh no, Ms. O'Neil? I'm gonna' make this city fall to its knees if you don't tell me NOW!"

April angrily replied, "NEVER, the turtles will stop you!"

Shredder answered, "ahaha…Miss O'neil…you're so CUTE when you're angry. Ok Foot soldiers, turn the machine on! You will LEARN not to defy me!"

April panicked and asked, "What- what are you DOING?"

The machine came on and a gentle 'humming' sound emanated from it. The green mist—along with the flies—that circulated around April's crotch area started blowing out into the city!

Within a couple minutes, cars were honking, accidents were occurring everywhere, and people were fainting. In fact, one couple walking directly below holding hands with one another broke up because the man had apparently thought his girlfriend stopped washing herself. He broke loose from her hand before the both of them fainted.

Shredder observed the chaos and laughed aloud, "HAHAHAHAAAA! YOU WORTHLESS PEOPLE, YOU WILL ALL LEARN OF MY POWER—AND TO THINK, MISS O'NEAL, YOU CAN BE A PART OF IT ALL! YAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

April's face had an expression of panic and concern on it as we fade to a commercial break…

A/N—Oh NO, Shredder got April! What's happening to the turtles? I mean, there's chaos EVERYWHERE! Finally, what are the baked beans for? I don't know, but YOU can find out if you read my next chapter—I KNOW you like it.

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To be continued, simply because I KNOW you can't get enough of this, here.