READ THIS NOTE FIRST BEFORE MOVING ON.

Here is the deal, I decided to move this story to Wattpad because it was easier to right whenever I wanted to when it came to the app. However, after recently reading my favorite fanfictions from a long time ago, I decided to update this story.

I have also changed a lot of the story. As I was editing what I had already written, I wasn't satisfied. The story has a few changes at the beginning, but around the homecoming arc it starts to diverge. So, for those of you who have already read the story, please try to go back to the beginning to get the new details and story line.

I don't know how often I'll be updating this fanfic, but you can find the same story on Wattpad as I'm more likely to update on there more frequently. Thank you.

It was his voice that was echoing in my head now. All I could think about was him. He was back.

He was back

A hand waved in front of my face, snapping me back to my thoughts. I averted my attention to Farkle.

We weren't learning in class (which I'm sure used to bug him) since we were done with the lesson for the day.

"Are you alright?" His eyes told me that he knew Josh was back.

"I'm fine. All of you need to seriously stop asking me that." I know they were worried but we couldn't keep going through this routine over and over again.

His lips thinned out before he responded in a quiet voice, "I just can't stand seeing you so upset." He said in a quiet voice. I wish I wasn't always so upset, but I was. No matter how much I try to forget, I can't.

The bell rang, making all the kids in class head for the door. We waited until the room cleared out before heading out ourselves. The hallway was emptier now. Only a few kids were lingering or slowly walking to class, including Riley and Lucas. They were so in love with each other that it was sick. Being good kids they are, they still somehow managed to get to class on time despite their freakishly slow pace.

Her eyes spotted mine just as we were entering the classroom. "Are you still coming for dinner?"

"No not this time." I shifted my eyes so I wouldn't see a look of suspicion. As innocent as Riley was, she was no idiot. She knew when someone was avoiding something.

I was having homemade tacos for dinner. At Riley's house.

After I had got home from school, I decided to take a nap. The nap would have lasted 3 hours if I had not got an angry call from Topanga.

"I promised your mom that I'd feed you and that's exactly what I'm doing. You're either going to come here yourself, or I'll be driving over there to drag you" Topanga was still Topanga, caring yet scary.

In front of us were tortillas, an array of meats, and of course the toppings. Oh, and the sauces. Nothing beats red sauce on tacos. It was just amazing.

I felt glad that I came to diner. Until the door opened.

"My brotha!" Cory called from his seat. A big smile was on his face as he greeted his younger brother. I noticeably stiffened. Riley softly rubbed my arm before also turning her attention to Josh.

"My brotha!" I knew Josh was pointing at Cory without even having to look over. I kept my eyes focused on the tacos and just eating. "I hope you don't mind that I came over for dinner. I'm just not ready for dorm food again." His voice was getting closer.

He took his spot in his usual seat, which was next to mine.

He turned to look at me. "Hey Maya, it's been a while" His smile was back. That cute smile he's had since forever.

"It sure has." It was an attempt to say it confidently. It obviously didn't work. My voice was shaking and I could barely utter any words out.

Dinner was a disaster after that. For the rest of them it was probably normal, but for me it was a mess. I was internally a mess. I was conscious of how close he was to me. I was trying too hard to not think about the handsome man next to me.

I was decided to assemble my last taco. I piled on the carne asada, onion, cilantro, and red sauce. As I was reaching for the lemon, Josh was also reaching for the lemon. This of course resulted in our hands brushing.

My hand quickly jolted back making. Riley drop her spoon of chicken fall to the ground. There was a loud and painful clang. I could see my hand noticeably shaking.

"I'm sorry Riley." I said panicked. I quickly pushed my plate away and got up from the table. I couldn't think. My mind was spinning. I was out the door and in the lobby before I knew it. I couldn't hear the footsteps, but I knew they were there. Following me. My vision was getting blurry. I could vaguely see the house, full of people. They were so happy. Why?

My breathing got hard. I was going faster now. Before I could take another step I felt a hand on my arm. I turned around and saw him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screamed loudly. I dropped to the floor. I was breathing really hard now. The figure bent down to my level. "Go away, go away, go away" I said in desperation.

The figure was getting closer, but I moved backwards. He didn't move. He knelt there looking at me.

"Maya, it's me." I quickly snapped up my head. It was Josh.

I tried to stop myself from hyperventilating. I looked at him again. Something about looking at him was calming me, but not enough to stop me from shaking.

He saw this and made a move to comfort me, but I jerked back again. A look of hurt flashed through his eyes before turning to worry. "Did.. did I do something wrong?" He asked me softly.

I shook my head, "No." I barely whispered.

"Then why are you avoiding me. What's wrong?"

I could barely say the words. I was worse than I was in my freshman year. I wasn't lost on my identity, nor did I have a broken family. No, this was so much worse.

"I have androphobia" I barely breathed out.