AN: Heyo. I've decided to make this into an ongoing thing; each chapter will be about another of Fred and George's marvelous adventures. I had to use the word marvelous. Anyway, on with the story!
Chapter 2-Filch's Lunch
"Where do you reckon that one leads to?"
"First things first, we had that one we were going to check out."
It was a bright Saturday afternoon, but Fred and George hadn't set a foot outside all day; they sat in their dormitory, studying the Marauder's Map and planning which secret passageway to explore and when.
"We'll probably have to go when everyone's off at Hogsmeade," Fred suggested. "That way we won't have so many people to watch out for."
"Filch'll still be a right pain in the behind." George said. "He moves bloody fast for an old geezer."
Fred grinned and waved the map. "Yeah, but he can move as fast as he wants now that we've got this. We'll see him coming a mile away."
George grinned in return and opened a box of Every Flavor Beans to help fuel their thinking.
Fred looked at the tiny figures wandering around the map as he popped a bean into his mouth.
"Dumbledore's pacing again." George pointed out as he took a bean himself.
"Does the man do anything else?"
"There goes Filch." George said grimly, pointing out the labeled figure making its way through the Entrance Hall, then through a door into another corridor.
"Not after a student for once." Fred noticed, chewing on a toast flavored bean. Then he realized something much more interesting. "Hang on; I don't recognize that corridor,"
"Could it be?" George acted flabbergasted. "A corner of this castle unknown to us?"
"I dare say." Fred nodded. "And you know what that means."
"I most certainly do." George said and held out the box. "A bean for the road?"
They each took one, wiped the map, and headed for the dormitory door.
"If I may be so bold, I'd say we'll know this school inside out by the end of the year." Fred said as they ate the beans.
"I think you're-" George started to say, then choked.
Fred frowned. "You all right?"
George pointed to his mouth, his eyes watering. "Garlic."
---
As Fred and George made their way to the Entrance Hall they did their best to look as casual as possible, which was a bit difficult for George, as he was still feeling the after affects of the garlic flavored bean.
"You're s-sure there's no one dow-down there?" George coughed as they approached the unknown corridor.
"Yes, I checked." Fred assured him. "Do you need a tissue? You're crying as if you'd seen Snape doing ballet."
"I'm fine." George said. "But thanks for the image."
"Anytime."
Without a second thought, the two hurried through the door they'd seen Filch enter and found themselves in a warmly lit stone corridor lined with paintings that were mostly of food.
"Hm." Fred looked around. "Nothing glaringly interesting."
George pulled out the map, not giving up just yet. "Yes, but as a wise marauder once said,"
"There's always more than meets the eye."
George tapped the map and said the twins' favorite words. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
As Hogwarts and its residents appeared before them, Fred and George looked over the corridor for anything they may have missed.
"There," Fred pointed and looked up. "There should be a door."
"Probably behind one of the paintings." George guessed.
They walked forward, watching themselves on the map. They stopped when it indicated that they were standing in front of the door.
The two looked to their left and found themselves looking at a painting of a bowl of fruit.
"Right," Fred moved forward immediately, inspecting the painting. "Now we have to figure out how to open it."
He pulled the edges of the frame and looked at the fruit, which remained unmoving.
Fred continued his efforts and George glanced down at the map to make sure no one was coming. As he determined that the corridor was Filch-free, he noticed that the figure labeled 'George Weasley' was moving.
"Hey Fred, come look at this."
Fred stopped and looked as the tiny George walked up to the painting in the map and appeared to be poking it.
They frowned.
"What's it doing?" Fred asked.
"No clue."
"It looks like it's poking it,"
"No wait," George looked closer. "It looks like he's…tickling it?"
Fred gave him a look.
"I'm just saying that's what it looks like."
"Fine," He sighed, then went up to the painting and began tickling all the fruit in the picture.
To both their surprise, the pear suddenly giggled and hopped to the side, turning into a door handle.
"Well," Fred said. "Now nothing surprises me."
George gestured to the door. "After you."
Fred opened the door slightly and they both peeked inside and found themselves face o face with a house elf.
"Er…hi." George said.
This was the last thing they had expected to see. Apparently it was the last thing the house elf had expected as well, but he quickly got over his surprise and smiled at them.
"Hello sirs, come in, come in." He gestured animatedly.
They looked at each other and shrugged and opened the door the rest of the way.
"It's the kitchen," Fred said, looking around.
They saw dozens of other house elves milling about, carrying plates and preparing food. A few had noticed the two new visitors and watched interestedly.
The first elf continued to beam up at them. "Is you wanting anything to eat or drink sirs? Some tea and biscuits perhaps?" He asked eagerly, looking as if he were hoping they would say yes.
George shrugged. "Well, I could use something to get the garlic taste out of my mouth,"
Within seconds two elves hurried forward with some tea and a plate of biscuits.
"Now that's service!" Fred said, helping himself.
"You know," George mumbled around a mouthful of food. "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
The elves positively glowed.
"Thank you very much sirs, you're too kind." The elf squeaked happily.
Fred took a sip of tea. "You know, that's the first time anyone's ever said that to us."
"I bet Filch has never heard it." George joked.
"Mr. Filch is not as nice as Mr. Dumbledore," One of the elves passing with a tray said. "He hardly ever smiles when we serves him his lunch."
The elf waved her away. "You mustn't be saying rude things about Mr. Filch." He whispered.
The boys both stopped chewing.
"Filch comes in here for his lunch?" Fred asked.
The elf nodded. "Every day at twelve o'clock." She said, then continued on.
The twins looked at each other, smiling evilly.
George cleared his throat. "Well, we really must be going."
"Lots of homework,"
The elf followed them to the door. "It was very nice seeing you sirs, come back anytime!"
"We'll be sure to take you up on that." Fred said as he opened the door.
"Biscuits were spot on." George added as they left.
They shut the door and the handle turned back into a pear and hopped back in the bowl.
"George," Fred said slowly.
"Yes Fred?"
"Do we still have those Cockroach Clusters?"
"Why yes, I believe we do."
"Then Filch's lunch will be infinitely more interesting tomorrow than it was today."