Sorry for my lack of updating! I've had stressful exams! But will try to get better I promise :)
The alarm started buzzing at 6:30am, jolting Meredith and Derek directly out of a very deep sleep. Derek groaned and glanced at the clock, praying that the alarm had spontaneously gone off at an incorrect time and he actually had several hours of sleep left.
He wasn't even remotely ready to face what the day might hold. Phoebe had spent all of Saturday in her room drawing or listening to unbearable pop music from her speakers and driving himself, Meredith, Mark, Lexie and Alex to despair with her rude attitude - a vast contrast to her behaviour when he had took her home.
It wasn't the outcome he was hoping for. Although it had only been a month since their parents death so Derek felt bad about telling her off. There was so much of her life that he didn't know about and he wanted to soak up all the details that he didn't know. Unfortunately, Phoebe had no intentions of letting him in.
Derek dragged his feet down the hallway to the bathroom and turned on the water, still half asleep. He stepped into the shower, hoping the steam and hot water would wake him up. Standing shakily under the showerhead, he absentmindedly allowed the water to pour over his back. It felt somewhat therapeutic.
His mind began to wander. Everyone was working today and he would get it in the neck from Social Services if he left Phoebe home alone. Lexie would get off when she finished surgery around 3:00pm, but that was still too long of a time period for her to be by herself and he wasn't willing to risk it. He didn't know how lenient her social worker was willing to be and he wouldn't put it past himself to screw this up in a matter of days. It wouldn't be the first time he had let her down.
He stepped out of the shower and toweled off his hair. After pulling on a pair of jeans and a plain, white t-shirt, he hesitantly made his way to his sister's room. This is not going to be pleasant, he thought as he gingerly opened the door.
"Phoebe it's time to wake up," he spoke softly, jostling her shoulder slightly. She grunted and rolled away from him, yanking her blanket tightly around her shoulders. After a few more shakes, she opened one eye and glanced at the clock before suddenly bolting upright with an alarmed expression.
"It's Sunday! What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouted before allowing herself to fall back down, pulling a pillow over her face.
"Phoebe," he protested. "You have to come to the hospital with me, I can't leave you here."
"Yes you can, I just turned fifteen," she mumbled through the pillow.
"I know that," Derek responded, his patience already wavering. "And in a couple of months, you can stay here alone when necessary. But right now, there is no way Social Services is going to be understanding of me leaving you here all day during a trial period… especially on the first day I have you."
She didn't respond.
"I need you ready in twenty minutes," he ordered. "I mean it."
With that he turned around and headed for the door, hoping he wouldn't have to come back in and repeat the process.
"Asshole," she muttered under her breath as she removed the pillow from her face and propped herself up on her elbows.
Derek stopped in the doorway, unsure of how to address her comment. She had never spoken to him like this before. He sighed and turned back around, narrowing his eyes slightly.
"Watch it Phoebe," he warned half-heartedly before heading into the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets, looking for something he could give to her. Nobody had been home much the past few days, which of course meant no groceries.
A few minutes later he had managed to scrounge up an old box of Cheerios and no milk. It didn't matter, however, because at the rate Phoebe was going, she wouldn't have any time to eat anyway. Derek's eyes fell on the clock anxiously. He didn't know which intern would be on his service today, but he knew the chief wouldn't appreciate an attending being late for work.
"Phoebe!" He shouted, becoming increasingly irritated by the second.
Day two and he was already losing control of his charge. He had heard of rebellion - he hadn't exactly been a saint himself at this age and not to mention his two older sisters, Nancy and Kathy had been like this too. However this level of blatant disregard for anything he said was on an entirely different level. "I don't have time for this! You're going to make me late for my intern and patients."
"Then leave without me!" She called from down the hall. From the direction of the echo, he could infer that she was still in the bathroom.
"Phoebe, I am getting so low on patience," he ground out, no longer attempting to keep his voice calm. What was he thinking? There is no possible way to balance a job as a surgeon and a teenage girl who probably daydreamed about him getting hit by a train.
Phoebe could hear the anger rising in her brother's voice clear as day. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, mildly pleased at how easy it was to get a rise out of him. She put in a pair of earrings that her parents had got her and waited a few more seconds before exiting the bathroom and walking into the kitchen. It was enough time to let him know that she had no intentions of doing what he said, but not long enough to make him completely lose his temper.
Derek tapped his foot impatiently as his little sister made her way to the kitchen, looking surprisingly well put together for only having had twenty minutes.
"I'll get you some breakfast at the hospital," he said, putting his hand on her back and leading her out the door.
Once they arrived at work, Derek yanked her into the attendings lounge, physically feeling the adrenaline surge through his veins. He knew that if he didn't sprint once he had her settled, he would be late. He pulled on his scrubs as if he was in the final round of the relay race.
He stuffed his right hand into the pair of jeans on the floor and pulled out $10, "There's a TV and tea over there. Get yourself something to eat," he told her frantically thrusting the money into her hands before running out of the door without so much as 'have a nice day.'
He sprinted down the hallway to the nurses station where some of the interns were standing. He collected himself and stood amongst the other attendings.
"Shep! Nice of you to join us," Mark greeted him jokingly.
"Thank you Mark," He replied sarcastically, looping his stethoscope around his neck.
Derek looked amongst the interns and went up to a young girl with fair brown hair. She was 19 years old - a prodigy and the youngest known person in America to finish medical school.
"Taylor you're on my service today. Let's get moving." He smiled warmly at her.
Taylor Samuels always worked harder than the other interns - even harder than some of the residents. Derek had a soft spot for her because he knew that she had never had it easy. Most of the interns were cruel to her because of her age. Even some of his fellow attendings which made him sick to his stomach.
The two walked side by side in a comfortable silence until they reached the elevator. There, they headed up three floors and set in the direction of the wing that housed patients with severe head injuries and brain tumours.
"So how's your sister Dr Shepherd?" Taylor asked, unable to hide the curiosity any longer.
"News travels fast. I take it Dr Sloan or Dr Karev told you all?" He inquired. The term 'secret' was a foreign concept amongst the attendings in this hospital.
"Yes, Dr Sloan told us."
"She's fine… I suppose," Derek lied automatically before correcting himself. "Well, not really. She seems to hate my guts and doesn't listen to a word I say."
"Sounds like a typical teenager Dr Shepherd," Taylor commented, glancing up at him.
"Yeah maybe. Hey Dr Samuels? I would appreciate it if we kept this to ourselves?" Derek said as they rounded the corner. Taylor nodded happily that he trusted her with information on his sister.
"Right, the patient's name is Eleanor Stoneman, aged 23," Derek began to brief Taylor, passing her the chart as they neared the room. "She has a malignant tumour in the temporal lobe the size of a golf ball."
Taylor took the chart out of Derek's hand and gave it a speedy once-over. The second the two doctors came into sight, Eleanor bolted upright.
"Dr Shepherd!" She exclaimed, grimacing from her own loud voice. "My head really hurts… when are you taking the tumour out?" She was pale and and even the smallest movement of her head made her wince and tear up.
"Don't worry Eleanor," Derek replied soothingly. His tone was steady and gentle; the same way he was with his interns and residents. "Myself and Dr Samuels will be taking you down to the OR in about 20 minutes. Can I get you something for the pain?"
Eleanor fell silent, mostly from relief. However she couldn't stop the images that kept popping into her mind caused by the tumour. It could make her hallucinate some really horrible things. All she could see in this moment was her mom and dad terrified and trapped. Flames everywhere. Dark smoke. Burning in a fire filled house.
"Eleanor it's ok," Derek spoke calmly, seeing the terrified look on her face. "It's just a hallucination… none of it is real. You're ok." He took hold of her hand in his and let her squeeze onto it until she came around. He only let go of her when he was sure that she was ok.
"You're very brave." Taylor spoke up with sincerity. She watched in admiration as Derek calmed Eleanor down. Once her body language was slightly more relaxed, she approached the bedside.
She didn't say anything else as Derek and Taylor prepped her ready for the trip down to the OR. Soon enough, that was where they were heading. Derek pushed the trolley down the corridor, while Taylor and Eleanor chatted about makeup, magazines and food. Derek rolled his eyes slightly at the conversation.
They got the patient into the OR before scrubbing in. Taylor looked up at Derek with big wide eyes, "Dr Shepherd? What's the chances of Eleanor waking up from the surgery?" she scrubbed her hands with soap. Derek sighed, he could see that Eleanor and Taylor had bonded and he didn't like what he was going to have to tell her, "Taylor there's a 5% chance that she will wake up. Please don't get your hopes up."
Derek had begun cutting into the back of the patient's head and gently began to cut around the tumour. Taylor was stood by his side, watching with interest at what he was doing. Derek cut the tumour out and Eleanor began to flatline.
"Damn it! Dr Samuels get the panels and push it to 300" Derek frantically tried to stem the bleeding. Taylor did as she was asked, set it to 300 and shocked her. No change. She set it to 360 and shocked her. No change. She set it to 400 and shocked her again. No change.
Taylor threw the panels down to the ground and began to do chest compressions, "I am not letting you die on me!" She yelled making a few scrub nurses jump in surprise. Derek gently told the scrub nurses and everyone else including the people up in the gallery to leave. As soon as they had done as he had asked he put down his scalpel and made his way to Taylor who was still doing frantic chest compressions.
"Taylor she's gone. She's been asystolic for 20 minutes…" Derek gently put his hands over hers in an attempt to stop her from continuing. Taylor slowly stopped the compressions and stepped away from Eleanor.
"Time of death 11:30am," Derek sighed as he checked his watch. He turned to look at his young intern who was absolutely distraught, " We did everything we could, kiddo." Derek removed his mask and scrub hat and Taylor did the same.
Taylor glanced up at him with tears in her eyes and moved into his arms. Derek stood there awkwardly for a little bit. Normally if any intern or resident hugged their superiors while they were at work they would get told off. Derek was about to tell Taylor that it was not appropriate to be hugging a superior at work but he couldn't do it. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and gently stroked her hair whilst she cried on his chest.
"It's ok, sweetheart. I know it hurts when we lose a patient but you have got to be strong and focus on the ones that we do save," he soothed softly. He gently and uncharacteristically rocked her in his arms like a child until she stopped crying. Once she stopped crying, he smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you, Dr Shepherd." Taylor said with a sniffle
Alex Karev sighed and wiped a few beads of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He sat frustrated in the pit attempting to get the small child in front of him to stop wriggling around.
"It hurts," the girl protested, on the verge of tears.
"I know, but if you let me give you the shot, it won't hurt anymore. Then I can give you stitches…. And a lollypop," Alex coaxed with a reassuring smile. However, it didn't seem to calm her down in the slightest. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Phoebe wander in.
"Phoebe!" He called to her. She looked around confused for a moment before making eye contact and walking over. "What are you doing in the pit?" He asked.
"I was looking for the cafeteria," she admitted, offering a nervous laugh and a shrug.
Alex chuckled softly before providing directions, "You're on the right floor, wrong side. If you walk through those doors and past the nurses' station, there's a hallway through another set of doors. Follow that all the way down and it will be on the left."
"Thanks," she responded quietly. She pivoted to walk away, but hesitated momentarily, as she saw Alex struggling with the young girl.
"Where are her parents?"
"They're on their way. They both commute to work and couldn't make it right when the fire at the elementary school occurred."
Phoebe nodded and decided to linger a little while longer. She would deny it profusely if asked, but she was bored - bored and lonely.
"Come on Maddie, it won't be that bad," Alex attempted to convince her once more, holding up the injection. The child began to struggle again, this time even attempting to flee the gurney she was sitting on.
"You know," Phoebe spoke up, kneeling closer to Maddie, "If you make a funny face, it doesn't hurt so much." Maddie looked up at her, a tear resting on the side of her cheek.
"Like this," Phoebe said as she scrunched up her face and bared her teeth. "Can you do that?"
Maddie nodded and made the face back at Phoebe, giggling softly. Alex quickly took advantage of the distraction and numbed the area on her arm where she needed stitches.
"Wasn't so bad, huh?" Phoebe asked, standing back up. Maddie shook her head and gave Alex a somewhat apologetic look.
"You are officially my hero," Alex informed Phoebe quietly as he pulled out a needle for the stitches, "Alright Maddie. You aren't going to feel this, but I need you to look the other way."
Phoebe waited to make sure Maddie was going to comply before leaving. She smiled at Alex shyly as he waved to her and then walked out of the pit, mostly looking at her feet. She followed the directions he gave her and found the cafeteria without any problems.
It wasn't until she arrived at her destination that it occurred to her that she had absolutely no appetite. What bothered her even more was that she had come to the cafeteria partially because Derek told her to.
She glanced at the crumpled $10 note he had provided and scoffed. Her brother's logic was still the same as it had been since he left: put your career first and throw money at your problems so you don't feel guilty.
"Phoebe shook her head and made her way to the farthest empty table that she could find. She didn't feel like eating and she didn't want to interact with anybody. Plopping down onto the hard plastic of the cafeteria chair, she looked at the clock and let out a dramatic sigh - it was only 11:40am.
My life is officially going to suck, she thought to herself. This was the first time since she was a small child that she was actually excited for school to begin. At least it would provide some sort of distraction. Much like Derek, she would happily throw herself into her work and ignore everything else around her.
"Hi Phoebe," a man's voice sounded from behind her. She was slightly startled, but kept her face calm as she looked over her shoulder.
"Good morning, Dr Hunt," She greeted him politely, attempting to sound less miserable than she felt.
"Owen," he corrected her.
"Good morning, Owen."
"I came by to grab a coffee and saw you sitting over here by yourself," he explained as he took the seat across from her. "Did that brother of yours drag you to the hospital with him?"
"Unfortunately," she murmured. Owen laughed softly, looking down at the paper cup resting between his hands.
"You know, Meredith's mother was a surgeon here," he began. Phoebe looked up and met his eyes, remembering her manners. While she was making an active effort to be rude to Derek, Owen was clearly trying to nice and did not deserve the same treatment. "When she was a kid, she had to spend non-school days here too. From what I understand, it could get pretty boring."
"Well it definitely isn't fun," she mumbled in return.
"I'll tell you what," Owen proposed, "Why don't you come with me? I think I might be able to make your day a little more interesting."
Phoebe glanced up at him quizzically and a playful grin spread across his face, "Are you squeamish?" he asked.
Phoebe sat in the O.R gallery, her face centimeters from the glaa. She was relatively certain that she looked like a child at the zoo, but she didn't care how silly she looked. I am watching a man cut open someone's stomach. I am going to see the inside of someone's freaking body, She thought, marvelling at how easily Owen seemed to maneuver.
Phoebe had loved biology and anatomy her entire life. In fact, her favorite day in science class was easily dissection day. Every other girl in her classes squealed and refused to touch or even get too close, begging the boys to do all the work. Not Phoebe though.
She peeked over her shoulder at all of the interns furiously scribbling notes, anxious for the chance to learn from Dr Hunt. That would be her someday - that much she knew.
"It sure is something, huh?" Meredith remarked.
"It is so cool." Phoebe agreed enthusiastically, watching in awe as Owen pulled out a huge tumor from the person's stomach that he and his team had worked hard to get.
"That woman assisting him is my best friend, Cristina."
"Is she a resident too?" Phoebe inquired slightly surprised.
"Yep."
"Wow, she is really good. I thought she was an attending like Owen."
"Tell me about it," Meredith jokingly groaned. "It's like I want to hate her for it, but I can't."
Phoebe laughed, her eyes remaining glued to what was happening below them.
After the exciting portion of the surgery had concluded, the interns began to disperse and Meredith escorted Phoebe back to the main floor.
Phoebe agreed, disappointed that her fun was over. Not wanting to come across as ungrateful for the opportunity, she did not complain and made her way back towards the attendings lounge, making sure to thank her sister in law before they parted ways.
"There you are!" Derek exclaimed as Phoebe came into view. He was standing by the nurses station outside of the lounge. "Where the hell were you? I came to check on you and no one had seen you for hours."
"Owen took me to the gallery so I could watch his surgery," she responded sharply. It irritated her to no end that he expected her to answer to him so willingly.
Derek seemed to soften slightly at her response.
"Well, don't just take off like that alright? Tell someone who can tell me. For a second I thought you…" he allowed his voice to trail off, unsure whether he wanted to finish his sentence.
"Thought that i what?" Phoebe scoffed. "Ran away? New flash, Derek as much as I don't want to be here, I don't have anywhere else to go."
"Look, just tell me next time," he grunted. "I need to know where you are in case something ever happens."
Phoebe laughed condescendingly. "In case something ever happens? We're in a hospital Derek."
With that, she pushed past him into the lounge, threw herself onto the couch, and turned on the TV.
"Hey!" Derek stormed in after her. "This whole 'walking away while I'm talking to you' thing needs to stop. I have to get back to work. You stay on this floor. Understand?"
She remained silent and kept her gaze fixed on the TV screen.
"Phoebe!"
"I heard you," she hissed.
Derek shook his head. He contemplated hashing it out with her, but ultimately thought better of it and stalked out of the lounge, letting the door slam behind him.
"Where are you headed to in such a huff?" Lexie called as he stomped past her.
"I can't take care of that kid!" He exclaimed, lacing his hands together and placing them on the back of his head in distress. "She is so…. So freaking moody. She's worse than the rest of our 4 sisters put together!"
Lexie threw her head back and cackled, "It's called being a teenager, Derek. She's angry at you, she'll come around."
"She never gave me attitude when we were younger," he argued, more to himself than to her.
It was true. He might have been winging it back then, but he was the only parental figure that Phoebe and his other younger sister Amelia had since their parents were always working. He ran a tight ship - he had to in their mess of a city - and they listened to him.
"You can't just expect her to respect you instantly," Lexie argued. "She's smarter now; she knows things like that have to be earned."
Derek thought about it for a moment and nodded slightly. He knew things were going to take time, but patience was not always his specialty and it still bothered him that he couldn't fix things immediately. He was a surgeon, it was what he did. Slice and dice: problem solved.
"I guess you're right," he sighed, pausing for a moment. "Hey, can you still take her home when you get off?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Thanks." He began to walk by but stopped to look at her, "I'll order take out tonight for all of us? My shout?"
Lexie nodded and smiled happily. She could tell that everything was going to be alright.
