Chapter 2

"You've got to eat something."

"I'm not hungry," Harry responded, pushing the bowl in front of him aside. He kept his eyes averted from Remus's, becoming transfixed with the pattern in the tiles on the floor.

Yesterday, they had gone to see Dumbledore, but he really didn't have an answer for them. So what was Harry to do? Wait it off? Unless… there was no way back; waiting or not…

"I don't know what happened, Harry, but you need to eat," Remus insisted. "You also need to answer my questions."

Dumbledore had said that Harry was to stay with Remus until they could understand 'what happened to Harry's memory.' Of course, the full moon was no where in the near future, so they were both safe.

Harry let out a sigh, dragging his eyes off the floor to meet Remus's.

"What questions?"

"Mine," Remus said. "Did you hit your head yesterday, Harry?"

Harry let out another sigh. "No, I didn't."

"Then I just don't understand why you're thinking these things."

Harry scowled. "Neither do I, but I want to go back. It's not right here."

"There's no where to go back to, Harry!" Remus argued. "I—I really don't know what happened, but Harry, you were never raised by me or Sirius, and Sirius… he's… he's not here anymore, Harry. Do you remember that?"

"Yes," Harry said softly. "I do, but then I ran into Sirius on the streets, except it wasn't Sirius—do you remember that? Then I ended up actually finding the real Sirius, and he was alive."

"Harry." Remus looked exhausted as he briefly closed his eyes. Harry stared at the man silently. "That—that never happened. I'd remember if it did—and it didn't." Remus studied Harry for a moment. "Are you sure that you didn't… convince yourself?"

Harry frowned. "Convince myself of what?"

"That this actually happened," Remus explained. "Maybe you made this up, Harry, and then convinced yourself that it was real."

Harry swallowed, shaking his head. "No, I couldn't've. I didn't—I didn't make anything up, Remus."

Harry stood up from his chair and slowly made his way towards the bedroom. He didn't do that, did he? He didn't… make everything that had happened since he was seven up? He still didn't even remember the Dursleys that well…

Harry sat down on the bed, feeling numb. What if Remus was right? What if… what if he did just convince him of all that when Sirius had fell through the veil?

He tried hard to concentrate on the Dursleys, to maybe see if he could remember living with them. He could remember nothing. Harry blinked, letting out a small sigh.

"I don't remember the Dursleys at all," Harry said quietly when he heard Remus in the doorway. "No matter how hard I try, I can't remember being raised by them; only you… you and Sirius."

"I don't know what to tell you," Remus said softly.

Harry looked up. "Tell me I'm dreaming. Tell me that I'm only dreaming."

Remus came over and sat on the edge of the bed, a gentle look on his face. Harry studied Remus Lupin's features. It was real, he knew that. But why was this happening?

"You aren't dreaming," Remus answered. "This is real Harry."

Harry nodded. "I believe you—I think."

A playful grin danced across Remus's face. "You think?"

Harry returned the grin weakly. "I miss him."

"I do too," Remus replied quietly.

A blanket of silence fell over them. Harry kept his eyes down on his hands as he quietly muttered, "I want to go back."

Remus looked at him with a faint smile. "I want to join you."

Harry glanced up at Remus for a moment before his eyes fell back onto his hands that were on his lap. They both remained quiet, and Harry didn't know exactly what to say to break it. He kept thinking that maybe Remus was right; maybe he had only made everything up.

How did he know about Isabella and Matt, though, and where they lived? Perhaps Harry had only once saw Isabella and Matt outside of the house, and that was how he recognized them and knew where they lived. But then, Harry thought, how did he know that Matt had died from a car accident?

Harry stopped coming up with answers to every question he had. It wasn't as if he could ask Remus them, and expect a real answer from the werewolf, though. Because Harry knew that he could get an answer from Remus, but it wouldn't be the right one. Remus wouldn't know the right answer.

"I'll be out here if you need me, Harry," Remus said suddenly, startling Harry out of his thoughts. Harry absentmindedly nodded, watching silently as Remus stood up and left.

Swallowing, Harry concentrated.

He was seven years old, and Sirius had showed up at the Dursleys. Of course, how could he forget them? That seemed real to Harry; it was certain he couldn't have made it all up. Then Harry had shortly met Remus—Harry remembered that clearly, too. Then he had met Matt and Isabelle—Matt, with his Vanilla and Relish Ripple ice cream—

The car accident. The amnesia. Harry was turned into a toddler; Sirius fell through the veil, Harry found him on the streets, although it wasn't Sirius—then Harry found the real Sirius and escaped from the prison they were in. They met Charlie, and other numerous people… Sirius had a girlfriend that he never told Harry about. Allyson.

All of this… everything that Harry, Sirius and Remus went through… that had been real to Harry.

But now he was being told that it wasn't. Harry sighed, frustrated. He glanced out at the window and noticed how dark it was getting. Harry pulled the blankets off the bed and crawled underneath them. He didn't really care what time it was—he just felt like drifting into a peaceful slumber, where he wouldn't have to think about everything that was going on.

--

Harry woke with a start. He wiped his forehead, and then shielded his eyes from the sunlight that poured in through the window. He pulled the covers off and walked out of the bedroom to find Remus sitting at the table.

"Do the Dursleys know where I am? Not that they'd care," Harry muttered as an afterthought. He sat down at the table in front of Remus.

Remus looked momentarily surprised. "You seem different today. Are you feeling all right?"

"Yep," Harry said with a nod. "I feel fine."

"So you're better after—?"

"I'm fine," Harry repeated. He gave Remus a look. "Just don't mention Sirius's name, all right? I—I don't like thinking about him… falling through that veil…"

Remus nodded. "Of course."

"I remember, though," Harry said suddenly, nodding. "Last night. I remember living with the Dursleys and… everything. It's just that, the other things, that you said I made up—they just seemed so real."

"It can be, when you really convince yourself that they are," Remus replied. "Don't worry about it, Harry. Hogwarts will be starting again soon; maybe it'll take your mind off things."

Harry nodded quietly. Late last night, he really did remember growing up in the Dursleys' household—but Harry was still certain that being raised by Sirius was real, no matter what. He just thought that if he'd actually been convincing himself that Sirius had raised him, like Remus suggested, that he could convince himself otherwise. He still, however, had a long ways to go.

--

A/N: To be continued . . . R and R!