Author's Note: Another chapter later! These rules broken are both written on Kirk. If you like to see a rule broken, tell me in a review but don't forget to tell me if you liked this chapter! I credit the reboot universe to JJ Abrams and Paramount. I own nothing!

Rule Broken: Do not mess around with alien women:

Kirk stared at the klingon woman sitting in the bar as she sat there drinking some drink slowly. Kirk couldn't help but think she was good looking women for a klingon. His eyes wandered to the woman's chest and he stared at her large size with perverted eagerness. She looked around for a brief second and she caught his eye and stared back at him with a fierce fire in her eyes. She then flashed him a coaxing smile and waved him over to where she was sitting. Kirk couldn't help but go over to her. She signaled him to sit and he sat down immediately.

"Is there something that you want mister-?" The klingon women began.

"The name is Kirk and I find you rather good looking for your species." Kirk replied.

"Really, now? And might I say you don't look that bad yourself."

"Do you have a name?"

"I am K'Plai. Can we skip the small talk? I am getting rather eager to get to know you- better…"

"Oh course we can skip the small talk."

The klingon women pulled him closer roughly and Kirk kissed her eagerly in the face. In his joy, he didn't notice the klingon male looking at them with fury. The male abruptly pulled Kirk roughly off the women and punched him hard in the face causing his nose to bleed.

"What's your problem?" Kirk asked loudly.

"You have stolen the wrong woman!" The male shouted angrily throwing himself at Kirk. Kirk dodged him quickly and caught K'Plai smiling slightly. Did she set this up? Kirk had no time to linger on the thought as the klingon caught him and hit him several times hard in the chest. Kirk retaliated by kicking the klingon male hard on the leg before making a hasty break out of the bar.

When he returned to the Enterprise, he is seen by McCoy who looked at his face with horror.

"My god Jim, what did you do this time?" McCoy asked outraged by Kirk's reckless nature.

"I got beat up by a klingon." Kirk replied.

"Now, why in the hell would you provoke a klingon? Are you out of your mind?"

"I didn't provoke him. I just kissed his girlfriend."

When Kirk saw the look on McCoy's face, he knew McCoy was never going to allow him to live this down and was probably going to find some way to teach him a lesson about safety.

Rule Broken: Do not sing "I got like big butts and I cannot lie" in front of Kirk:

A female science officer was walking down the hallway somewhat bored. Some old song from centuries ago was stuck in her head. While she was walking, she couldn't help but sing the song having no knowledge that there was someone to hear her nearby.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie. The other girls can't deny. When a guy walks in with an itty bitty waist that round thing in your face, you get sprung-" She sang, but stopped noticing Kirk staring at her.

"Hello." Kirk simply stated and she ran off immediately without another word.

The next time she saw Kirk he looked like he was wearing padding for his butt. As he got dangerously close to her, she didn't know whether she should run, laugh, slap him, or kick him in his special place.

"So you like big butts-" Kirk began and the female science officer quickly opted for kicking him in his special place. Kirk dropped to the floor in both pain and surprise.

"For your information, sir, it was just a song!" She yelled before slapping him hard in the face and storming off. Kirk couldn't help but stare after her in wonder. He sometimes just couldn't understand women.

Author's Note: Ha! So wasn't it funny or do you feel way too bad for Kirk? Do review please. It gives these stories purpose. 8D!