OK, as requested, here's the slash-rape thing with Will/Jack/Kraken and, just for kicks, Norrington. It's pathetic and probably not even half as funny, but, whatever.
333
The Kraken was totally drunk-assed. He knew of the shitty impotence of that governor guy, the selfish self-copulation of his master(bater) and, well, he was still horny. Shame, I know.
Anywho, here's that little horny squid again. From underwater it could hear moans of ecstasy and, turned on and coming slightly, he pushed himself into the surface and came again at the sight.
WILL TURNER AND JACK SPARROW AND JAMES NORRINGTON AND MERCER AND BECKETT AND ELIZABETH AND SOME OTHER BASTARD WERE HAVING A SEVENSOME! OMG!
SO obviously if you see seven people having a literal fuck-round, don't you get turned on? The Kraken grabbed one person each tentacle, having to pull apart James and Jack, but one each nonetheless.
However, as previously stated in Kraken'd part 1, Kraken had bruised its biggest tentacle, as well as a few others. In these, he took up Beckett, Elizabeth, Mercer and the other bastard, and with the tentacles being bruised and shit, he dropped aforementioned characters - but not realizing it until he was fifty thousand miles away.
Shrugging its "shoulders", he/she/it dropped James, Jack and Will on the sand of some other island and let them continue. Eventually he realized James was too good (HA!) and picked him up and swallowed him... once. One swallow must have made him its girlfriend, or boyfriend, so it ate James afterwards.
And he was left with Jack and Will.
"Shit man." Jack muttered, "Kraken, you came all over my face before you ate me."
"Not my fault," the Kraken protested. "Weatherby didn't really work out, and I was doing myself just before I swallowed you whole."
Will felt a little left out and lunged at Jack. Kraken then felt left out and lunged at the other two fucking males.
THREE DAYS LATER
"Fuck it all, Jack," Will complained, "I'm still bloody sore."
THE END!