Okay here is the 2nd chapter. Please give me your views!

Disclaimer: I can't come up with even ten variations of murder, let alone 799 chapters worth? Obviously, I don't own Detective Conan.

It was still raining.

Although it was hard for him to believe it, less than a minute has passed since Ran left him, running in the rain without once looking back. It already felt like a century. He wondered how he could face her later, even in the shrunken form of Conan.

Conan, the most elaborate lie he had ever told, the lie that was the main reason why they could never be. He could only cry harder as he thought back to every time he fooled her, someway or another, to conceal his identity, every time she cried as she tried to unravel the mystery around him…

"You sure you're okay with this?"

He turned his head to see a certain Osaka detective walking up to him, holding an umbrella in an attempt to shelter him. He wasn't sure when Heiji had come, but him being here and saying that meant that he had been watching. To be unable to see the dark-skinned detective, he wondered if there was anything else that he had missed. His mind was still in turmoil, but he knew that Heiji had only asked him that as a formality. He really didn't need to answer it.

"Why?"

That was a question, but it was one he didn't feel like answering. Just thinking about it was painful, his tears still had not stopped and he could feel the pain aching from the pieces of his heart.

"There's no antidote, Heiji. I can never go back."

That was the real reason. In the beginning, he had been full of hope, knowing that the Black Organisation had finally fallen and he could go back to his former life, being a normal 19-year-old teenager and back by her side, in his original form and voice. However, as the months passed, with Haibara continuing to research on and on into her custom-made poison, he realised the truth. That day, he saw Haibara typing furiously on the keyboard, unaware of his presence. It was one thing to see her typing quickly; it was another to see her typing frantically, as if desperate for something. He continued to observe her with the door ajar, hoping he was mistaken and that his brain was just giving him one of many possibilities. It was then that he heard it.

"Why…why can't I find it…why?"

That drove any reason he had generated to deny himself the truth flying out of the window. She could not find a permanent antidote. His last chance of ever getting back to his old life was gone. He could never walk as Kudo Shinichi ever again. Never to brag about his former cases, never to act as the famous Detective of the East, never to graduate high school until he grew 9 more years…

Never to return to her arms again…

Ran had been waiting for him for 3 years. That in itself was torture. He decided that it could not continue. She was waiting for someone that no longer existed. She would not stop waiting as long as there was even the slightest chance that he would come back for her. Thus, he came up with the plan.

One long, careful conversation. Rid her of any doubt that he was never going to come back to her. Make sure she didn't chase him, one that would expose his identity and may reveal his game plan. Break her heart in such a way that she would never believe anything he would ever say, just in case his regret overcame him. Most importantly, make her believe that he was no longer in love with her and that he was not interested in getting back together, even as friends. It was a massive heartbreak, but it was one he had to go through, if not Ran may just keep waiting for a non-existent person.

"Why not just tell her the truth?"

That was the only other alternative he had come up with. Revealing his identity would allow Ran to find out that she was waiting for someone that was in the same house as she was. He would probably experience torture, but that wasn't much right? Then he thought further and looked deeper, trying to think of the response that she may give. Then he came to one situation that he realised was so probable, he was certain it would happen. The problem with it was that he didn't want it to happen.

"I didn't want to hurt her."

Irony of the highest order. He had just possibly shattered her heart into a million pieces but he was talking about trying not to hurt her.

"What do you mean by that?"

Heiji knew that if he did something like this, he probably would have a very good reason. Causing Ran pain was so out of character that, unless someone had somehow acquired a very elaborate disguise, something big was causing him to make this decision.

Throughout the conversation, Shinichi had his face buried in his arms. Not, as he raised his head to look at the Detective of the West, Heiji saw that his eyes were an awful red and that the tears have yet to cease.

"Can you imagine what Ran would do when I told her?"

"Sure, she'll probably cry a lot, beat you up after she got over it and…"

"What if she never gets over it?"

Stunned by his interruption, Heiji could only answer, "ehh…?"

"Think about it. Do you seriously think that she could believe me after all I did? I lied to her for more than 3 years, living in the same room while watching her cry as she imagined the trouble I was facing as I settled 'that case'. Watched as she tried crossing each day with that drunken old man and Conan without showing her true emotions. Watched as she tore herself apart with worry…"

"You were suffering as well…"

"As if that was a reason! How could I tell her that I have been living with her these past 3 years while solving her dad's cases? Or that I did so to protect her? Do you think that would work? She would probably feel used, her trust abused, being no more than a random friend to freeload from, to take advantage of…"

"She would understand! You know she would!"

"And then what? Make her wait for me? I already made her wait 3 whole years! Now I'll always be 10 years younger than her. She'll be waiting years for me to grow up!"

"You know she wouldn't mind!"

"I don't want her to wait for me! She deserves better! I caused her enough pain! She should move on, rather than waiting for me who can only seem to continue lying to her…"

As he said that, Heiji finally found the real reason behind everything. Shinichi had broken down. He had seen enough tears. In his guilt-ridden state, he no longer felt deserving enough to receive Ran's love. He saw himself as the reason to Ran's sorrow and had taken the fastest route to end it, so that once she had gotten over him she could find someone that she truly deserved. Or so Heiji believed he reasoned.

Shinichi continued to shed tears. The fact that Heiji's umbrella was sheltering him from the rain made little difference as the tears continued to flow from his eyes. He knew he was supposed to be getting ready to change back to Conan anytime soon, but he couldn't find the strength to move. As he tried to get his mind in order, he hoped he hadn't missed anything.

"Goodbye Ran..."

Unbeknownst to him, a certain figure was leaning beside the wall at the corner just out of sight. She then turned to run off, towards the house of a certain professor, home to a certain teenage prodigy.

So how is it so far? I don't really have much experience writing angst...wait I have none at all this is my first try...
Give me your honest views!