A/N: Argh. I really should be working on the myriad of other stories I have in various stages of completion. Oh, well—at least I'm writing something. And the humor is back. Yay!
A clarification of sorts—while some of these one-shots won't be just straight up quoting, they will all relate back to Firefly. Somehow.
And now for a question—when I do use quotes or situations from the series or the movie, do you guys want me to reference where I got it at the end of the page? I have a feeling I might choose some pretty obscure things sometimes.
Also, I have no medical knowledge besides what I see on House and my ability to Google, so all mistakes are mine. I apologize in advance if I ever play fast and loose with the medicine.
Feedback: Is read over and over…no, seriously—I've probably read the five reviews I've gotten around ten times already. Thank you all! And PLEASE review.
Cuddy opened the door to the diagnostics conference room and surveyed the scene in front of her. Chase was chewing on his pen as he worked on a crossword puzzle, Foreman was reading a journal, Cameron looked to be doing some research online, and House…was playing his video game. Of course. She tossed a folder on the table. "Found you a case."
The three fellows looked up at her with relief, and Foreman let out a deep breath. "Thank God."
"Don't go finding religion just yet," House snarked as he reached for the folder. "Cuddy has a knack for finding cases that can be solved in five minutes or less."
She just rolled her eyes as House scanned the various reports in the file, and started relating the case to the others from memory. "Twenty-five year old male, diagnosed with narcolepsy eight months ago. They'd been able to control it decently with medication, but then five days ago he had a psychotic episode immediately before a sleep attack lasting three hours. His normal attacks barely last thirty minutes."
House frowned and spoke up when Cuddy paused. "And unless he's somehow related to a hummingbird, his heart definitely shouldn't be beating this fast." He stood and turned to the whiteboard, starting to write down the man's symptoms, but Chase's snort stopped him in the middle of "elevated heartbeat." The four other doctors in the room turned to the Australian, and House raised an eyebrow. "When did undiagnosed, debilitating diseases become funny? Cause, ya know, I totally missed that memo."
Chase, still grinning, shook his head. "Come on, none of you find it funny that—" He stopped, eyes widening, as he took in the blank expressions around him. "You really don't see it—the similarities?"
Foreman looked at him as if he was speaking gibberish. "Man, what are you on about?"
Chase started grinning, his smile getting bigger by the moment as the confusion of his coworkers increased. "You don't! I can see the similarity that none of you do—this, this has never happened before. I love it!" He turned his grin to Cuddy, and the complete and utter joy in his expression made her smile back. "You have made my day," he told her happily.
Cameron was still staring at him, her eyebrows scrunched together. "So…are you going to explain all this now?" she asked.
"No, no—not yet," Chase stated, shaking his head. "I'm going to take a bit, soak this all in." He leaned back in his chair and threw his arms out wide, as if basking in the moment.
Until House poked him with his cane. "Out with it, Wombat."
Still grinning, his feet hit the floor with a soft thump and he planted his elbows on the table. "This guy had a psychotic episode immediately followed by a narcoleptic sleep attack. So, in other words…" He looked around the table at his colleagues in giddy anticipation as he finished his sentence. "He just went crazy and fell asleep."
The room was silent for a moment, and then Cameron started giggling, bringing a hand to her mouth when she degenerated into sniggering. Foreman and House had wide grins on their faces. "This is true," House stated, spinning back to the whiteboard, writing "Jayne" at the top of the symptoms list and underlining it with a flourish.
Cuddy frowned, even more confused now. "House, the man's name is Thomas Jones."
"So?" House shot back. "Would you rather have me write 'Crazy Sleepy Guy'?" He turned again to his underlings at the table. "Differential diagnosis, people."
She rolled her eyes heavenward, muttered a soft "Whatever," and strode out of the room. Wilson, who had been hovering outside the door, fell in step with her as she made her way to her office. "Aren't you ever going to try to find out what all that is about?" he asked, smiling as he waved his hand in the direction of Diagnostics. It had to be driving her crazy, being out of the loop like this.
"Nope," she said cheekily, and smirked when he started, shocked. "James," she said, "Ever since this all started, House hasn't missed an hour of clinic duty, and complaints about him have gone down by over sixty percent. I could absolutely care less about what's going on." They reached her office, and Cuddy pulled open the door and turned around to face the other doctor. "I just don't want them to stop. Ever."
She went in, and Wilson grinned as the door closed behind her.