The blonde one seemed confused. "I thought our code of honor was to fight for evil! Never surrender! Take whatever you can and never give back--"
"For fuck's sake, Yukiji, we're not friggin' pirates!" Jana said in a voice she had picked up from some more aggressive gang members.
The second girl looked down in sadness while Jana stood up. "Now, if you don't mind, what is it my sister and I must do now that we are in your service?"
"Aheh, you're girls! You can clean our houses!" Kuwabara said stupidly. Hiei rolled his eyes and Botan, who had just arrived and unfrozen Kuwabara, sweat dropped.
"More or less along those lines, I suggest we make them do our paperwork. Koenma could use a break. However," Kurama said, taking another glance at the blonde, "we can just keep her around for fun."
"Wow, I think that's the closest Kurama's ever going to get to a sex joke this whole chapter," Yusuke said, amazed.
"Hn, more like his whole life," Hiei commented darkly. Though he was never one to make sex jokes either, he was more so inclined that way than Kurama was. Or, at least he thought.
"It's okay, I'm not one for blondes anyway," Kurama said, surprising everyone around him again.
"Where exactly do we stay in the meantime? Do we need our own hotel or house to stay in? And what do we tell the Petenshi?" Jana asked, ignoring the sex jokes.
"I'm sure the Petenshi predicted you would fail. Kurama seems fond of you, perhaps you can stay at his house," Koenma suggested.
"I already have a female house guest, I'm sure my mother would get suspicious if I had three girls in our house."
"They're definitely not living in my huge-ass castle, nope, not enough room," Hiei protested.
"My apartment's too small. Can't," Yusuke said as Koenma's eyes laid on him.
"I can let the two pretty ladies stay at my house!" Kuwabara offered.
Jana looked indifferent but Yukiji looked ready to protest.
"It's this or limbo," Jana whispered to her sister so as to remove all possible chance of Yukiji doing something irrational. Luckily, she did keep quiet.
"Yes, we will stay with you."
"So, now that we're all chummy, why did you try to kill me?" Yusuke asked.
"Remember Genkai's tournament? Well, my father was in his demon squirrel form watching the tournament from a distance. You see, he was injured quite a bit and couldn't fight anyway, so he just watched. You know how squirrels are: always watching things... It's creepy, but it's what they do.
"Anyways, while you were walking through the forest, you actually killed our father."
"What? I don't remember killing any squirrel demon!" Yusuke exclaimed.
"Oh, but you did!" said Jana.
FLASHBACK:
Yusuke and Kuwabara were walking through the forest during Genkai's tournament. Suddenly, there was a rustling in one of the trees. Kuwabara freaked out, thinking it was a demon. Yusuke shot at the tree with his spirit gun, and unnoticed by him and his companion, a small, innocent-looking squirrel fell out of the tree, swirly-eyed and dead.
END OF FLASHBACK
"I don't believe it was anything personal against him, but now Yukiji and I were attempting to avenge his death. Nothing personal against you guys, either, we were just trying to knock you unconscious while we killed Yusuke," Yukiji continued.
"Hmph, 'nothing personal,'" Hiei mimicked. Yukiji frowned at him.
"Where'd Keiko go?" Yusuke asked, completely oblivious to everything else.
"I think she ran upstairs with her parents to protect them. I'm sure the Spirit Defense Force took care of it," Kurama said.
"Well, I guess our little lunch date is pretty much not gonna happen," Yusuke said with a sigh.
"Hey! We could all have lunch at my house! And while we do that Yukiji and Jana could unpack and get settled in and stuff. I'm sure Shizuru wouldn't mind, as long as we're not loud," Kuwabara offered.
"I'm sure you'd all have a very nice time with that. I'll open a portal so Yukiji and Jana can get their things, and then I'll open up a portal to your house," Koenma said, snapping his fingers and making a blue portal appear.
"Sounds good," Yusuke said. He looked up at the stairs. "I think Keiko may be busy dealing with her parents so why don't we let it be just us?"
So, Yukiji and Jana went through the portal to get their things, and everyone else walked to Kuwabara's house, which was located conveniently close to the Ramen Shop.
x x x x x
"S'up kid?" Shizuru said upon seeing Kuwabara enter the kitchen.
"Hey Shizuru! Could you make us some lunch? We're starving!" Kuwabara said as he motioned to the others.
"I'll help you," Kurama offered upon seeing Shizuru's annoyed expression at having to make lunch for everyone.
"All right. Just wait in the living room while ginger and I make lunch." Shizuru gave in. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei sat out in the living room and waited patiently for their food. Just then a blue portal appeared in Kazuma's guest bedroom and Yukiji, Jana, and Koenma walked out of it.
"This is the guest bedroom, where you two will be staying. Feel free to unpack and then you should let the others know that you're here. I'll be going now since I have more important matters to attend to. Be good for Kuwabara and Shizuru. I'm not exactly sure where their parents are since they're never shown in the anime, but if they decide to randomly appear be good for them too." Koenma said as he walked through the portal.
"Yeah, yeah," Yukiji muttered. She chose the bed on the right and started unpacking her stuff. Jana found it odd that guest bedroom would have two beds, seeing as though most people don't expect multiple visitors, but she shrugged it off. Maybe it was like the room of requirement from Harry Potter. Or maybe it was because fanfic writers don't think about that kind of stuff and just write everything to accommodation. She decided she liked the first idea betterand then she began to unpack as well.
IN THE LIVING ROOM:
"Okay, kiddies, lunch is served," Shizuru said as she and Kurama placed two trays filled of sandwiches on the table.
"Hey Hiei, could you go get Jana and Yukiji? I think they should be here by now," Kuwabara said as he pointed to the guest bedroom.
"Hn," Hiei responded as he got up and walked over to the bedroom. He opened he door and saw Jana hanging a Marilyn Manson poster above the bed, next to some other random heavy metal "gothic" artists.
"Where's your sister?" Hiei asked, noticing Yukiji's absence.
"She's outside peeing on a tree to mark her territory. It's actually kind of funny. Wanna watch?" Jana asked as she motioned to the window.
"No thanks. What the hell are you hanging on the wall?" Hiei said as he looked around at Jana's various posters.
"These are posters of my favorite bands. They're your favorite bands too, because in cliche HieixOC fanfiction you're labeled as gothic in human terms just because you wear a lot of black. Then you fall in love with me and my shitty emoness and Hot Topic clothes, even though you really despise those whiny teenagers, and you listen to Hanson," Jana explained. Hiei glared at her.
"How did you know about my Hanson fetish?" Hiei asked menacingly. Jana sweatdropped.
"I didn't, I was only joking. I'll be sure to post it on myspace and let all your fangirls know, though."
"Right. Well, Kuwabara sent me in here to tell you and your sister that lunch is ready," Hiei said, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.
Jana giggled slightly as the short, hot-headed boy left. She couldn't help but wonder whether the whole "tough guy" thing was an act or if it was really Hiei's personality. A bloodcurdling scream interrupted her thoughts. She immediately looked through the window to see her sister flailing frantically while being pulled up by her toga into the tree tops.
Jana held her snowflake charm necklace and teleported to a few feet away from her sister. She had been able to teleport farther and farther each time she practiced, and just fifteen feet was something to be proud of.
"YUKIJI! I'll help you, what's pulling you up?"
"I don't know! All I heard was this strange, 'shoo-ah shoo-ah shoo-ah shoo-ah spoke-oh spoke-oh spoke-oh' noise. Next thing I knew I was being dragged up the tree by my--OUCH--clothes!" She looked on the verge of tears as she said this.
Jana took her hand and tried to pull her down, but to no avail. She even considered using her ice powers to get her sister down, but did not think it would be wise to use them seeing as how she didn't know what was pulling her sister up. Besides, what if she hurt Yukiji? Or perhaps the creatures pulling her up were quite strong and would only get angry if attacked with magic?
"Kuwabara! Yusuke! Hiei! HELP!" screamed Jana. Yukiji's body was halfway up the treetops.
"You're doing so good, Kiji! The guys will come and help you, don't worry!" Jana tried to reassure her sister, whose face she could no longer see.
"Oh, my God! What the hell are these things? Jana, try to look up! They're like, chibi robot things... except medieval-style! They all have pink hair and purple dresses and clothes..."
"How big are they? How could they have dragged you up?"
"Gah, they're so loud! I--don't know! Magic?!" Yukiji sounded extremely distressed.
Luckily, Yusuke, Hiei, Kuwabara, Shizuru and Kuwabara rushed to the scene.
"Hmm," Kurama said thoughtfully.
"What's happening? Why is she stuck in the tree like that?" Kuwabara asked, hysterical. "Nevermind, I'll get her!" He jumped over to Yukiji and yanked her feet. However, she did not come down.
Hiei analyzed the scene and ran to the tree so fast that he was able to walk up the trunk and onto a branch near Yukiji.
"What the--? What are these things? Oh--Yukiji, hold on to my back."
Yukiji struggled to get her hand up onto Hiei's shoulder, but once she got one arm up the other one was easier. Once securely on Hiei's back he jumped down from the trees.
After she climbed down from the ride Jana rushed over to her to comfort her.
"I don't understand, all I was doing was peeing on the tree to mark it as my territory!" Yukiji defended herself. Still attached to the ass of her toga were four or five little creature things, all squeaking, "Comida! Bee Are? Pleex, ei frist! Pleex!"
"Just as I suspected: BR's," Kurama stated quietly. Everyone gaped at him with a "WTF" look, which encouraged him to continue: "Yes, they're woodland-dewelling creatures that are very territorial. They eat flowers like crazy and are prone to randomly attacking people. In this case, I gather that Yukiji's marking-of-territory action triggered them to attempt to kidnap her." He casually swaggered over to Yukiji and picked the creatures off her ass, then threw them onto the top of the tree.
Everyone seemed relaxed now, except for Jana.
"What kind of sick creatures is Ningenkai full of? I've heard of platypuses, rhinoceroses, llamas... But this definitely takes the cake!"
"Eh, you'll get over it," Yusuke said in a casual Vince-like tone. Jana shot him a mean glare and walked towards the house, everyone following behind.
If only she could know of the stronger, less benign forces that lurked in places more common than trees.
Review or we'll send the BRs to attack you. Fuckers. .i.