Chapter Two

She didn't dare close her eyes. She stared right into those dark brown irises until she became blinded by the flash of light. Only then she shut them close. When they opened, Alexis was gone.

Elsa inhaled sharply not prepared for the sudden emotions that may hit her. Her fist clenched at her sides. A gentle hand reached out and uncurled her hand.

"It's okay. We're right here," Anna comforted.

Elsa nodded and squeezed her sister's hand ready to release her despair…

But she couldn't. Partly she preferred not to break down in the middle of the woods or in front of anyone else but she wanted to feel something. What scared her was that she couldn't find the ability. She just couldn't, at least, not now. Another deep breath, she pulled away from Anna and walked to Midnight. She gave the gentle creature a pet on his nose.

"We should head back to the castle," Elsa ordered.

Anna watched her, "Elsa, are you sure?"

"I rather not have anybody worry about us. Let's go."

She lifted herself on Midnight trying to ignore the murmurs behind her. She glanced at them, "Are you coming?"

Doubt clearly written on Anna's face, she tried to protest but Kristoff led her to a horse.

"We're going."

Elsa nodded and began her way back to the castle. Her thoughts were in a whirlwind as she tried to figure why she felt nothing. It should hurt. Alexis was gone. Her face would no longer be the first thing she saw in the morning. Years could pass before she felt that warm embrace again. A lump formed in her throat as ice coated the reins.

Elsa shook her head. No. She had to face facts. She had to get used to the idea that Alexis would be gone for a very long time. The sooner, the better. She clenched her grip on the reins removing the ice and kept her eyes forward.

For a few moments she tried to shut everything off but failed to notice the dwindling ice path trailing behind her horse. Anna didn't. She stayed silent and followed the trail home.

Calm down. Stop. Just stop crying. I need- I need-

"I need her," Elsa croaked.

Her strength only lasted three days. She tried so hard to put up a strong front. Elsa kept reminding herself she cried her tears so it was time to be a strong Queen. She excused any questions about Alexis. She smiled and assured her sister that everything was fine. She did her best to stay out isolation or fall into her old habits. Everything seemed fine until this morning.

Gerda entered her study to ask if Alexis had indeed left. When Elsa reluctantly answered yes, Gerda suggested they clean out what wasn't needed so it would be organized upon her return. Although she tried to stay away from that hallway, that room, she agreed to go. Just stepping inside, utter sorrow washed over her. Gerda gathered the clothing that needed washing but Elsa instructed that the clean items remain in the closet. As the maid tidied up around the room, Elsa touched the clothes hanging. Her fingers brushed over the material of one of Alexis's favorite dresses. She curled it into her hands bringing it to her nose and inhaled the faint but familiar scent that lingered. It offered some comfort.

Gerda called her so she quickly released the dress and turned. A small notebook was in Gerda's hand.

"I think you may want this."

Elsa raised an eyebrow but took the little book anyways. She opened a page and skimmed the first few lines. Her heart stopped. She's read this once before.

I'm falling more and more each day. Embarrassing as it is, I can't help but find her cold touch intoxicating. I want to hold her close just for one moment. Gosh, I feel lame just writing this down. I need to burn this.

Elsa laughed remembering the first time she read this. Sweet memories filled her mind but then the emptiness inside grew as well. In seconds, her smile turned into broken sobs. She couldn't control the tears spilling down her face. Suddenly, Gerda gathered the young Queen into her arms trying her best to comfort the girl. It reminded Elsa of times before her coronation. After losing their parents, Gerda became the mother her and Anna needed during those bitter moments over the three years.

She hardly recalled how the older woman led her to her room but before she knew it, she was curled up in her bed clutching the notebook to her chest. A few comforting gestures, then Gerda left her alone.

The blonde sniffed. I was a fool to think I could keep it hidden. I made myself believe everything was fine. I lied to myself for too long. She stared at the empty room. Frost started to spread from the floor like inky tendrils. Her tears spilled onto the bed freezing on contact.

A hesitant knock was heard. Elsa's eyes shifted to the opening door. Anna's head poked through the crack. It only took one look for Anna to barge herself in which proved difficult with the frosted door hinges. Elsa sat up allowing Anna to pull her into a tight embrace.

"Gerda told me," Anna said.

"I thought I could handle this, I was wrong," Elsa hushed returning the hug.

"Yes, you can. You didn't give yourself time to grieve."

"I miss her."

"I know. We all do but it's must be especially hard for you," Anna slightly pulled away, "In the forest, I saw it in your face."

Her gaze dropped, "You did..."

"It hurts me when I see that. When you keep it in..."

"I wanted to be strong."

"There's a difference. You have a right to feel sad and just... let out your emotions! Scream, cry, do anything. If you want to freeze something, freeze it! Well... as long you unfreeze it too."

Elsa laughed and Anna clapped.

"Look, there's that smile."

"A real one, I promise you." She sighed, "I don't how I'm going to last the upcoming, heaven forbid years without her."

"It will be hard. I miss Kristoff terribly when he's ice harvesting. I can't really stop him. It's his life as he likes to say."

"It's an empty feeling."

"Yes, it is." Anna pointed to the book, "What's that?"

"Oh, it's a notebook. She used to write in it during her low points."

She dared to open it once again. A random page revealed the handwritten words. She traced each curve and loop with a finger. Finally, Elsa closed it once more.

"At least you have a little something of her."

Elsa nodded clutching it to her body again. It was a small reminder of Alexis if she ever missed her too much. Maybe that's all she needed.

"How do you feel now?"

"A bit better but it still hurts."

"What do you want to do?"

"Lie down," Elsa crawled back into her bed.

Anna settled down next to her, "I believe the Queen deserves her rest for one day. More if you need it."

They both stared at the ceiling as Elsa wondered if she needed more time. In her left hand, the notebook resided while her right hand touched the cold ruby stones of her bracelet.

"One day at time, Anna. We'll see what tomorrow brings."

Review Responses:

AVP5: Here is your update! I hope to have the next one up soon!

SmokingHippie: :)

crazyguy1313: Thanks but I encourage a big celebration! Go crazy!

Lady of the Spirit: Don't worry, there is no way I could start the fic off like that. All tissues, pillows, and hugs shall be provided for this emotional ride.

Guest: It will be a while before the reunion but I'm glad you're excited for the sequel!

Loizeaux: It's going to be very interesting. All I can say about the time line is a long while.

alehficsmore: Yes this story will cover a lot more topics. I am fighting so hard for Elsa not to become that. She is so much more and although I'm scared, I need to make sure that she remains a strong character. The true power of the voice will also slowly be revealed.

ScarletWolfx: Yeah, I felt like a disconnect would happen if I time skipped but sadly it will be a long while before a reunited couple happens.

RJCA27: Thanks, hope you liked the update!

Guest: Thank you hoped you liked this update.

: All I promise is that there will be no break up. That I can promise you.

Guest: It's too early to talk about the end! You have to wait and see.

DerpyPoodle: Oh gosh, I don't even know how to start or how to put it into words. I did read that review once you posted it and I cried. I never thought I could even make my readers feel that way and what it did for you, I just feel so proud as an author. Your review was so special and sweet. I can't believe you praise my writing so highly and how you much you love the story I created. I don't even think you understand my gratitude for your support and love. I swear I will work long and even harder on my stories knowing I have such wonderful readers like you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

The Reaper 13: Yay, an update!

RainbowKirbie: Thank you! I'm really happy about your enthusiasm. Okay, so if you're asking about what's going on in both this world and Arendelle, yes we will know both. I most definitely read your stories when I have time. Alex will be introduced in this story. Also sorry, the identity of the voice is a surprise.

KillMeToday: Welcome to the S.S. Elsis. I welcome you to our little fandom. Thank you so much for that sweet review. As long as you're enjoying the story, I don't care how many favs and follows I get but more would be appreciated. Anyways thank you again!