Here is chapter 2! FINALLY! I know it's been a while...i've been reading fanfics instead of writing. I have updated on Ti Proteggerò so there's a big PLUS for me! YAY! This chapter doesn't really have a song to go with it that i could find...i will probibly find a song and change the title...Unaffected by Sick Puppies. It kinda makes sense...maybe...not really...ya...no...
whatever...here it is
Chapter 2: Unaffected
His right arm was stiff from the fresh cuts that graced it. Today was going to suck. It was a good thing that he would never have to go through this again. Mathew climbed out of bed, put on his glasses, grabbed his hoodie to cover the scares, and walked to his door. The smell of bacon filled his nose and he rushed into the kitchen to claim a few pieces before his brother inhaled them all.
"Morning." He greeted quietly. His dad glanced at him from behind this morning's paper and blinked at him before glancing at Alfred, who was scarfing down a piece of bacon. Finally remember who he was, Arthur turned back to his quiet son. "Good morning, Mathew."
Alfred nodded in his direction as Mathew sat down and filled his plate. Their French papa, a better cook then their dad, came gliding out of the kitchen with a whole other plate of bacon and toast. "Morning, mon chere!"
"Morning, Papa."
"And how did you sleep last night."
"Ca va, et toi?"
"Oh, tres bien, tres bien!"
Arthur glanced at his watch, "Boys, it's 7. Better hurry up or you'll be late for school."
Alfred scarfed his last bacon and ran off to the bathroom. Mathew sighed. Now he'd never be able to get ready for school on time. Slowly, he grabbed both his and Alfred's plates and walked to the sink. He placed them in and then went to his bedroom and got dressed in his favorite Grey hoodie and skinny jeans. He ran his fingers through his hair since there was no way he'd be able to wash it with Alfred in there. He stood in front of his mirror and stared at himself. There was nothing out of the ordinary about him, but the other students ignored him. Except for the times he got mistaken for Alfred, he was invisible. This was it. His last day.
"Boys! You've got ten minutes!"
He sighed and grabbed his messenger bag. Checking its contents he saw he had his notebooks, sketchbook, diary, and headphones with iPod. Everything was there. He left his room and walked out the door, Alfred running to catch up to him.
"Hey, Mattie! Wait up!"
He stopped and his brother almost ran directly into him. "You're in a weird mood today."
Mathew rolled his eyes and mutter under his breath.
"Wha?"
"Nothing…"
Alfred stared at him. "What's wrong?"
They continued to walk towards school. Mathew tried to come up with a reason, but failed. Finally he decided to half tell him. "Well, it's just that i-"
"HEY! HONDA!"
Mathew stared after his brother, who ignored him completely and ran over to the Japanese boy. He sighed. At least now he didn't have to explain everything to him. Mathew just kept walking and entered the school.
At his locker, his combo failed him yet again. After his sixth try, he managed to open it, only to have someone running through the halls plow right into him. His backpack hit the ground and opened. Books flew all over the floor, his locker slammed shut and the person and he fell to the ground. Without missing a beat, the student got to his feet and took off running again, failing to even realize that he had run into Mathew. The Canadian sighed, fighting back tears, and began collecting his books.
"Are you ok? Dude, that was a horrible crash. Totally un-awesome."
Mathew looked up at the student who had spoken and he gaped. The albino before him was gorgeous. His platinum blond hair sat messily on his head. His red eyes stared deep into his own violet; making him blush.
"Uh…um…I-I"
The albino seemed to not notice Mathew's stuttering and bent down to help retrieve his books. "That stupid bastard…I'll beat the shit out of him for not even staying to help with this mess he created."
Mathew's red faced deepened to an almost purple. "N-no. Don't do that!" He yelled in horror, before realizing he had screamed and shut his mouth closed. "I-I mean…don't do that f-for my sake. It's fine…really, it is."
The albino stared at him. "Oh, well. He deserves it anyway…for not being awesome. Like me!"
Picking up the last of his books and shoving them back into his backpack, his savior stood up, offering his hand to Mathew. "I'm Gilbert. Gilbert Beilschmidt." Mathew didn't take it, but instead stood up and hugged the notebook in his arms closer to his body. "Mathew." He whispered.
"Wait, what? I didn't catch that." The bell rang at that exact moment, drowning out Gilbert. Mathew offered a sad smile, grabbed his bag off the floor and ran off to class.
Gilbert stared after the blond. "What the hell?" He shook his head and started walking. His right foot came into contact with something. He stopped, backed up and looked down. It was a book. Reaching down, he realized that the boy must have left it. Looking it over he saw that in really petite, cursive writing it said 'Diary".
A smile came to Gilbert's lips. He now had a way to find out who the mysterious boy was…
Dear Diary,
Again I am nursing a busted lip.
This time it was that one Cuban…once again screaming every curse word he knew while beating me senseless. Dad seems a little concerned because of all the fights I get into…he doesn't understand that it's not my fault. Alfred says he'll 'be the Hero and beat the shit out of him for doing this to his brother…blah, blah.' Nothing's going to happen. Nothing ever happens. He forgets…until the next time I end up bruised.
If he only saw my arms…and my thighs….
One day, I'm just going to give up.
That day is coming…soon.
-Mathew Williams
Hoping the World Will Accept…
Gilbert stared at the short entry. Holy crap! This kid…he was serious. He'd been through a decent amount of pages and they all seemed to contain an insane amount of angst…and loneliness…
Einsamkeit…
He thought the word in German. Suddenly remembering a time when he too felt like the world was going to rip apart and send him sliding into an endless vortex of nothing but pain and…einsamkeit.
He shuddered, suddenly compelled to read more. Ok, sure. He did feel guilty about reading the boy's obviously painful life secrets, but…he felt that he needed to do something about it. The kid was obviously serious about possibly killing himself and that was completely un-awesome! So, in order to know exactly what he was getting himself into, he needed to read more.
Dear Diary,
The moon is full tomorrow…which is what makes it beautiful tonight as I write. The lights are off and my window is open, allowing the cold breeze to brush against my tear-stained eyes. Nothing changes as the days go by…
I feel really lost. Life continues without me, even though I try to get involved. All I have is my tears and my scares.
One would think that Alfred would notice that his razor is gone…but he doesn't. He just buys himself a new one and continues to forget about me.
I've made my plans.
I do intend to commit suicide by taking sleeping pills. I'm not entirely sure when yet…I need a day that…
Who am I kidding? Any day would work because every day is the same.
I just need to become so fed up that I no longer desire to fight the waves and let them take me. I know that day is coming…
-Mathew Williams
I Wanna Meet My Maker in Peace, I Wanna Fell Alive Again…
"Whatcha doing?"
Gilbert snapped the diary shut and looked up at the Italian. He really didn't know how to read the atmosphere. Not wanting to hurt his friends feelings, he plastered a fake smile. "Hey, Feli. What's up?"
"Vee~! Nothing. I just saw you sitting here reading and I got confused. You don't read."
The Prussian rolled his eyes. "I only read when it's awesome and catches my attention." Feli cocked his head to the side. Realizing that the Italian was not going to let him off that easily, he decided to change the subject. "So, how are you and West doing? I haven't seen you over for a while?"
"Ya, Lovino has been a little…rude to Ludwig…he's been keeping an eye on us, making sure nothing happens…" Feliciano's turned into a pout. "I wish something would happen…"
Gilbert's eyes grew wide and a smile cracked his lips. "Oh you do, do you?"
"Vee~! I love Ludwig so much! I want to express my love for him!"
"And he's being too 'German' to get the hint…I can do something about that…"
The Italian's eyes lit up. "Really~? That would be so nice, Gilbert~!"
"Yep!" the bell rang and the teacher walked into the room. Gilbert rolled his eyes and randomly opened the diary back up to the last entry.
Dear Diary:
Today I decided that my life is over. I will no longer live here in peace. I will no longer deal with this bullshit world. I will no longer be mistaken for my brother. I will no longer be beaten up without any reason. I will no longer try…
I have always tried to fit in; to have friends. All I ever wanted was to be my own person. My whole existence is a mistake. Dad and Papa…they have no idea. Sure they assumed that adopting us both would be a good idea…if only they would have taken Alfred and left me there all those years ago.
I should not exist. There is no reason to keep me here.
Tomorrow t is the night I will do it. Papa just bought a brand new bottle of sleeping pills…unopened. That will be enough…
This is my last night on earth…my last night writing in this book…my last night.
All my homework is done. My teeth are brushed, my stomach, full. I showered and wrote the note that will be left for my parents and brother, though they probably won't get to it until my body begins to decay and smell…at least they'll read it eventually.
Figures that tonight there is a thunderstorm. It's almost as if the world feels my emotions and is acting accordingly.
What are my plans? After this last entry, I will make another cut on my arm. Tomorrow I will go to school as planned…return home and act a usual so as not to raise suspicion to the family that doesn't even know I exist. When they are all in bed…I shall take every pill and climb in bed. Then it will all be over…
Do you think I'll see my real parents in heaven?
Who am I kidding? Even if I was going there…which I'm not…they wouldn't want to see me. I'm invisible.
-Mathew Williams
My Last Night on Earth
HOLY SHIT! That was yesterday's date. He was planning on killing himself tonight! Gilbert felt a sudden need to do something…it had to be sneaky. Mathew didn't know him and if he approached him, the boy could run. He couldn't tell Alfred…he wouldn't know what to do or he'd forget…idea!
He pulled out his phone and texted Ludwig.
U have Jones's number?
A few moments later…
Alfred? No…Kiku might. Why?
Gilbert exited Ludwig's name and went to Kiku's
You have Alfred's number?
Yes. XXX-XXX-XXXX
Thanks!
He exited that and went to a new contact. Alfred Jones…
Hey! It's Gilbert!
Beilschmidt? How'd u get my #?
Gilbert rolled his eyes. Kiku. Hey, u wanna hang after schl? I'm hangin w/ Luddy, Feli & Lovi, just thght I'd ask & c if u & ur bro wanted 2 hang.
A couple of tense minutes passed when Gilbert had to hide his phone because the teacher was walking about the class. It buzzed again.
Sure, I'll ask Mattie l8r.
Gilbert smiled his cocky smile. Alrite!
He closed his phone and slipped it into his pocket. Success…
There it was...do you understand his plan? Yes, he is a sneaky one, non? If you don't understand, it will be explained more in the next chapter...okay, not really. Bu if you can't get it then...ask. (i could be mean, but im not like that...at least, i won't let you know if i am or not ^.~) Review