Alternative 2 Part 1
"What do you hear from Gil?" She asks me.
"All of his letters were sent back. I'm afraid something's happened. I need to know what." I tell her almost trembling.
"What can you possibly do?" She asks me confused.
"Go to the last field hospital I have record of. Search from there." I tell her my hare-brained idea.
"Through all of France? They won't let civilians to the front." She says in disbelief.
"I won't stay here and wait for my husband's funeral." I inform her.
"No." she seems like she won't say anything at first but then she says something. "Promise me one thing though Anne?"
"Anything." I say, knowing she won't try and change my mind about leaving.
"Go to the doctor before you leave the island, like the boys do on conscription. Just to make sure." She says.
I look to her confused for a moment, what an odd request. "Alright." I agree hesitantly. "Yes you are right Diana." I say convincing myself, after all it's a different continent I would hate to catch something…. After all, there was nothing the Doctor could say to stop me going.
She managed to find her way back to Green Gables, though she wasn't entirely sure how with the daze she was in. She certainly wasn't expecting that! She pulled out a chair and sat into it. Diana came in close behind, although she didn't go to the doctors with her she had kept her eye out for her best friend walking back.
"Anne." Diana called coming into Green Gables. Diana was met with silence she found her sitting at the dining room table. Diana sat beside her and looked at her "Anne darling are you okay?" she asks her more directly.
Anne was in some kind of daze, she didn't know at first if Anne had heard her. But confirmation soon came by a stunned Anne replying. "I'm pregnant." Anne looked to her friend. "You knew?" Anne asked the none shocked Diana.
"I only suspected Anne dear, honest." Diana brought her hands to Anne's.
"That's why you asked me to go?" She asked her friend.
"Gil would kill us both if you went to Europe in the… in your condition and you know it."
"How?!" Anne asked.
"How?" Diana asked.
"We only ever had our wedding night." Anne almost whispered.
Diana half smiled. "It only takes once Anne."
"I know." Anne said quietly.
"Did you not suspect? I mean your monthly visitor must have stopped…" Diana trailed.
"I didn't notice until the doctor asked me this afternoon. I've been so preoccupied with 'getting on with it'… I didn't care to check the calendar. It only signified another day without him." She said as she started to sob.
Diana leapt beside her. "Oh Anne, Anne darling it'll be fine."
"It won't! Its not fine! My son may never know his father!" Anne broke "Do you know how it feels not to know a parent?!" she threw at Diana.
"Anne." Diana whispered. "I'm sorry that was insensitive of me, forgive me. Of course it isn't fine, its never fine not to know a parent…" Diana took a sigh "you can't know it's a son in there, it may be a daughter…" she trailed as Anne shook her head.
"No, I know it's a boy, I can feel it's a him." Anne took a breath and appreciated Diana's silence in that moment. "I should be over rejoiced." Anne said miserably. "I'm carrying Gilbert Blythe's child." She started to cry again, "Instead I feel so empty, I have no Gilbert to share it with." She wiped her eyes and took a breath. "Three months, I'm three months gone. I'll need to keep working with my stories and my tutoring." Anne looked to Diana. "You might not want to but, will you stay here Diana, at least until the baby is born. The children are welcome too. I don't think I can face this aloneness anymore."
Diana smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. "We'll bare this together Anne, we'll make our men proud." Diana looked to Anne half scared of the answer "yes?"
Anne nodded. "For him and his son." Anne whispered holding her stomach. "I need to be strong for his son."
A month later Anne now had some of her old spirit back. Diana knew in particular all was not well with her but she appeared to be bearing her burden better.
Diana was sowing on the veranda when she saw Anne approach Green Gables in a fast pace. As she approached the veranda Diana asked her "Anne dear you should take it easy four months is a tricky month you could hurt the baby."
Anne sat down exasperated. "I am sick and tired of people assuming my husband is dead!"
Diana sighed. "Its common for them to go missing and then…"
"Do you think Fred is dead?!" Anne exclaimed.
"It's a possibility." Diana sighed.
"Well it isn't with Gil." Anne said resolutely. She sat forward and clasped Diana's hands "If he were gone, if he would dead, surely I would know it. I would feel I lost him." She sighed, "Wouldn't I?"
"Maybe." Diana admitted. "Its what I hope for." Diana said with faded expression on her face as she wiped a tear from her eye.
Anne took a sigh. "I did hear something to give me hope. Mr James has given up Avonlea school, went to conscribe to the army the head of the board asked me out rightly if I would consider the post, they know of my condition and are willing for me to work round it, they said they need a steady and good source of education for the children, but so many of the boys are conscribing and so many of them marrying the girls, the girls aren't bothering getting their teachers certificates…"
Diana smiled. "They must think highly of you. And you know with lunch time being two hours now instead of one… I mean I could come down and see Fred and I could bring Anne and bring the baby when he comes along…"
"I thought you might be excited…" Anne smiled. "its not for sure yet, but it's a definite hopeful and it would bring in a wage for the four… well five of us." She said stroking her barely there bump.
Diana smiled. "We have the apples from the orchard and the ones from the old Blythe Orchard."
Anne smiled. "I can't believe he bought the orchard." Anne smiled shaking her head.
"Well they are the best apples on the island." Diana smiled.
"Not to mention Gilbert's hankering for apples." Anne smiled. "Something his boy has inherited!" she laughed at the knowledge of her cravings.
"I think we have plenty to make some preserves, make some pies, I think Betty Lawson was after some for the general store, not to mention Marilla's Red current wine, since you are the only one left who can make it!" Diana laughed. "And I can bear witness to how nice it is."
They looked at each other and started to laugh together. "I was wondering what to do with all the red currents, somehow through all the abuse this house has endured those bushes refused to budge and no one ever saw the point in getting rid of the apple trees. Maybe we could look at some gardening, it won't be on the scale I knew with Matthew and Marilla but if you don't mind getting our hands dirty…"
Diana smiled. "I don't think I have much of a choice anymore." Diana said. "All the money in the world…" she sighed, "I would give it all back just to see Fred again."
Anne hugged her bosom friend. "You and I will see our men again." She said with a determined spirit. "They are out there Diana, I know it. I just do."
"in the meantime, lets make ourselves practical, maybe when the men come home we won't need them to go to work, we'll have made millions ourselves." Diana smiled.
Dearest love,
This letter unlike the others is destined not to be sent, or at least they tell me not to send you letters anymore with your whereabouts being unknown. I'll be honest for a little while I physically couldn't bring pen to paper to write, the idea the letter might never be in your strong hands broke my heart. But now almost two months after receiving the news that they didn't know where you were, I feel, in my heart, they can tell me not to send the letters but they have no jurisdiction over whether or not I write these letters. I have concluded since it is my belief you are still alive, that I must write to you so that at very least when you come home you shall have something to entertain you, in the hope they find your whereabouts and tell me where to send these letters, so you might at least have something to entertain you while you work.
I have so much to tell you all together yet i want you to embrace all I have to say as I had to, so very gradually.
First an apology, my love. The way you struggled between your country and your wife, I never should have made that more difficult for you, I'm sorry for the way I acted, but when it came to the very possibility of losing you (my love) my very soul breaks in two. I feel like that helpless child who cried a bitter vigil into the night when we thought you were dying of the fever. I needed to hold you and tell you over and over again of my undying love for you and if you leave, there would be no one or nothing which could heal that void which would be left if I lost you. I know its selfish, a trait we don't really have in common. I wish, I wish my love I could hold you for hours on end and tell you how much I love you, even my love show you it.
Now for my behaviour since you've been gone. Don't worry I haven't disgraced the name Blythe by any means, or at least I hope not! I think you would be proud of me, I hope you are proud of me.
First, when I received your letters back telling me they didn't know of your whereabouts my impulse was to run to the front to find you. I had even told Diana so. She urged me, like our troops to visit the doctor first, yes how bitter that visit would be! I longed to see you, even as a doctor would do, but alas it wasn't you but I am now glad Diana convinced me to go.
See I didn't come out to France to find you I've stayed right here in PEI, and for good reason. You see I got some unexpected news from the doctor that day.
My love, I hate to tell you in this way, I wish you could have been the one telling me my condition, I long for the look on your face, the joy it would express. I wish you were here to comfort me when I have fears, to tell me it's normal, to tell me what's not.. I wish for you to be here when... if you haven't guessed by my words, my Gilbert, our sacred night has been sealed with a life forming inside of me! Gilbert, you are going to be a father.
I'm now 25 weeks pregnant, well close enough to, and I FEEL more Blythe like everyday. Diana tells me I can't know but I feel I do know, it's a boy. I FEEL he's a boy. I'm drawn to little blue knits and little sailing ships. And my love, he has your hankering for apples and peppermint. He will not allow any beef to pass my lips but loves chicken and fish. He loves long walks and afternoon naps. I think I have the delicate balance right between being sick and eating properly for the two of us.
So, your child is the reason I'm not manually turning every stone in France looking for you, and you know I would not give up until I found you. I pray you are safe. I pray for you to come home one day, I wish it were tomorrow, but I know God needs time to work his miracles, I live in the hope that one day, one sweet day I shall be in your arms again, you'll get to hold your son, we can be a family.
In the meantime, Diana has moved in with me at green gables with little Fred Jr and Anne Cordelia. See around the same time we received word or even lack of word, they returned Moody's and Charlie's tags, they haven't found Fred's but they have assumed him missing in action, like you. Diana I think only entertains the thought that you are both still alive for my sake, but I stand by the fact, I would know sweet Gilbert, wouldn't I? I would KNOW if I lost you. I would know it!
I'm resolute my love not to think of it! I will not believe it! And if you are and I never get my answer... then I shall be faithful, I will live as though you are alive and to some future generation I'll be an old maid with a son. Well let them think it, for do have a husband. I am loved as a wife and if I'm wrong and you have passed onto the next life, I know our love is strong enough to endure through the veil and one day when I am old and grey I shall join you in the eternities. You shall have kept your youthful looks and charms and I'll be an old lady... Will you still love me when i am old and grey? I always supposed we will be young when we pass to one life to the next. I hope I am right in that circumstance.
However in the meantime, us female kind are making ourselves useful here on the island, I've been employed as Avonlea's school teacher. The board are willing to work round our little one and he's due in the summer anyway so by the time we go back Diana and I should be in a routine with him. We're also pulling our resources, we're selling home made green gables produce with our apples from both orchards, we're selling plum puffs and red current wine, we have our dairy cows so cheese, yogurt and milk are home made, Diana has quite green fingers and can knit beautiful blankets faster then even Marilla could in her heyday!
The home front is driven by women, well.., the suffragette's will thrive on this..! Not that I disagree exactly, but it needs to be this way, the question will be, when the men return, how will it change? I think it shall change a lot for many people... not for US though sweet Gilbert, I already know you see me as your equal, but I fear for the men, even in our generation, who view women as... I think this war will do more then change the face of the world,... I feel politics will change, I think Grit and conservative will not matter anymore and we'll need to unite over other matters which this war has dug up, things as a human race we have buried and hid in the name of peace. I fear for the world, I can only hope we bring to this world a good man with principles who can withstand the changes the world is going through.
I miss you Gilbert. But I feel your son is made of the same salt as you. When I feel him move within me I know he is reassuring his mother.
I love you Gilbert.
Yours always
Anne Blythe