Here's the second chapter. No lyrics from Closer in this one. Just the downfall of Sara. And I forgot to mention, this is written in Sara's POV.
It's been days since I eventually picked myself up off the floor. I'm numb from pain. I can't eat, I can't think, I can't concentrate. I'm basically a shell. Death seems a welcome necessary to get away from all this. Just want to die so I don't feel this heartache. Catherine doesn't seem to care.
I got sent home from work today. I'm suspended for a month. Grissom suspended me for hitting a suspect. Like I give a fuck! He deserved it. Maybe I was hoping he would hit me back so I could feel physical pain. Grissom says if I fuck up again, that's it, I'm fired. Like I want that stupid job anymore!
I got fired today. I've had 3 disciplines on my record in the last month. One for being late by 4 hours and hung over, one for mouthing back to Grissom, the last one for telling Grissom to go fuck himself. Why am I fired? Well that's a story!
It's been 6 months since Catherine ended our marriage and I moved out into my own apartment. Catherine has told me to move on, but I don't wanna listen. And then a month ago, I overheard her talking to the guys about a "hot" date she had the previous night. I heard that, and went into the locker room and punched the locker til my hands started bleeding. It hurt, because 3 years of us being together, and it took 5 months for her to move on! Like I didn't mean anything to her. I was a bitch the rest of the month and to top it off, Catherine seemed HAPPY! That's when I mouthed back to Grissom and then a week later told him to go fuck himself. The gang left me to myself cuz they didn't want to deal with my wrath, until today.
I was sitting in the break room reading a magazine and having a coffee, away from the team. Didn't feel like socializing and haven't felt like socializing for months! Then Nick, Warrick and Greg came in and sat down next to me. They were quiet and I looked up
"What?" I said, pissed off they were just sitting there staring at me.
They looked at each other, having a silent conversation with each other.
"Just spit it out" I say, wanting to get back to the article.
Then Nick sighed and said "Look, Sara. Don't be mad, please?"
"What now?" I reply shortly, slowly getting pissed off. I just wish they would just leave me alone
"How long has it been?" Nick asks, looking at me
"How long has it been for what?"
"Since… You and Catherine broke up?" Nick ended, looking down at the table, then up to Warrick and Greg for courage
"What's it to you?" I snap
"Well, we care, Sar."
"Like fuck you do."
"Hey, hey. No need to be like that. We do care. It's hard seeing you like this." Nick said, trying to calm me down
"Yeah, Sara. You're not yourself. I miss hanging out" Greg says
"And I miss your smiling face" Warrick says
"Well, I miss being on my own and I miss when you guys hated me cuz I was the new fucking girl!" I reply
"Hey! We never hated you!" Nick says defensively
"Whatever. So what's it to you how long it's been?"
"Well…" Nick looks to Warrick and Greg; scared to say what he was going to say next "Don't you think it's time to move on? It's been awhile, Sar"
"Oh, I get it. Catherine set you three up to this? To tell me to move on cuz it's over?" I all but yell
"No, we were just chatting, and we think it's time to move on. You can't spend the rest of your life moping over Catherine. She's moved on"
"Fuck you, Nick! You know nothing about me!" I say, throwing the magazine down and standing up
"Hey!" Nick says, standing up to try and calm me down
I walk up to him, and I put my face in his face "Mind your own fucking business, Nick. And you too, Warrick and Greg. It has nothing to do with you three!"
"Sara… It's been 6 months! MOVE! THE! FUCK! ON!" Nick says, raising his voice to try and get through to me
"FUCK YOU!" *SMACK!* I punch Nick square in the jaw knocking him to his ass
"HEY! SARA!" Warrick and Greg quickly jump up and I turn on them
"AND FUCK YOU TWO!" and I go to swing for Warrick, but Greg tackles me to the ground
"SARA! WHAT THE FUCK! CALM THE FUCK DOWN! WE'RE TRYING TO HELP!" Greg yells
"FUCK YOU!" and I push Greg off me and I get up, then I go for Nick, again. Cuz he was the one who started this, bringing it up. I knocked him down to the ground again with one punch, then I lean down and grab his shirt bringing him up to meet my fist again and again. "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS! WHAT I DO WITH MY LIFE IS MY BUSINESS AND NONE OF YOURS!" I scream, punching Nick time and time again. Warrick tries grabbing me, but I elbow him in the nose, all I see is red. And I keep punching Nick, seeing the blood pour from his mouth, splitting his lip and with another punch, his left eyebrow splits. Nick just looks up at me, eyes rolling back, his body going limp, but I keep punching. I have all this anger built up in me from these past 6 months and it feels good to let it out. Next thing I know, I'm tackled to the ground by both Greg and Warrick. They're both holding me down and it's taking all their strength to hold me down
"SARA! CALM DOWN! LEAVE NICK ALONE! CALM DOWN, GIRL!" they both scream at me, but I'm struggling against them, about to punch one of them and let them be the next victim, but just before I manage to get out of their grip, Grissom enters, looking pissed! He looks at Warrick and Greg holding me down, then looks at Nick's limp body and back to me.
"Warrick, Greg. Take her outside. NOW! I'll deal with you later, Sara! CATHERINE!" Grissom yells and I guess she was already on her way hearing the commotion cuz she entered the room not 2 seconds later as Warrick and Greg are dragging me out of the room.
"Let go! Let go!" I yell at Warrick and Greg, calming down, finally realizing what I've done.
"Are you going to calm down?" Greg asks
"Yes… Yes!" I reply, on the verge of tears. Looking through the glass of the break room walls, I see Grissom and Catherine kneeling beside Nick, checking his pulse. Grissom looks worried, as does Catherine. Grissom pulls out his cell phone
"I need paramedics to the break room in the CSI Building, ASAP!" Grissom shouts into the phone
I look at Nick, and he's laying limp on the ground, blood pouring from his face.
"Oh God, oh God… What did I do?" I cry
Catherine looks up at me and for the first time in 6 months, she looks at me like I'm a stranger. As if she doesn't know me, doesn't know what I've become. She's disappointed in me, in what I've become. That look, brings me to my knees. I never wanted to disappoint her. I never wanted her to see this side of me. I mouth "I'm sorry" to her, as I cannot speak. And she just shakes her head and looks disgusted at my actions and turns back to Nick as the paramedics come rushing in.
Those next 5 minutes were a blur. I remember being on my knees, crying uncontrollably, Warrick and Greg trying to comfort me. Paramedics running in and out of the break room, eventually bringing a stretcher in and putting him on oxygen and taking him to the hospital. Catherine had opted to go with him and as she walked out, holding his hand, she glanced up at me as I said "I'm sorry" and her eyes were full of disappointment.
Then Grissom walks out, looks at Warrick and Greg, then me. I have never seen his eyes so angry before!
"Sara. My office. NOW!" he all but yells at me, then turns and walks to go to his office. I follow him, my head hanging. Ashamed of myself and my actions.
I enter his office
"Close the door" he says in eerily calm voice.
I do as he says and I walk over to the seat in front of his desk and sit down
"Gri…" I try saying before he cuts me off
"Shut up. Don't talk. Shut up and listen, for once! I don't want to hear another word from you! I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, lately. Yes. I know you and Catherine broke up, 6 MONTHS AGO! I know you love her; I know it's hard for you. I know all this, Sara. But you DO NOT bring your personal life into work! I let you off numerous times, I had to suspend you for hitting a suspect, and I thought that would open your eyes. But it didn't. So, I thought giving you those disciplines would hopefully open your eyes to changing your attitude, but obviously you have no regard for your job or your colleagues. Especially after today, Sara. What the hell were you thinking? You could've killed Nick! Thankfully he's alive. But he's not going to be in work for AT LEAST a few weeks now. I don't know what to do, Sara. Well, I do. I don't want to, but I have to, you've given me no choice. You've caused actual bodily harm to a colleague over something so fucking trivial, Sara! And I cannot have that on my team. You either work together as a team, as a family, or not at all. And unfortunately, you can't. So Sara, give me your badge, your ID and your gun. You're fired. You have 15 minutes to gather your stuff from your locker and get off the premises. If not, you will be escorted off these premises. And don't let me catch you anywhere near this building. You hear me?"
I just nod
"If I were you, I would pray Nick doesn't press charges. But this WILL be on your record. I would find another career, because no one will hire you now, with your history of violence and disregard for anyone's safety. Now get out of my office, and don't let me see you anywhere near this building. 15 minutes."
I nod, and get up
"And Sara? I'm disappointed in you." he says as I reach the door
And I walk out; to what seems like the whole damn lab looking out to see what happened. I just walk to the locker room, gather my stuff and leave. Without saying goodbye to anyone.
Now I'm sitting in a bar, drinking my sorrows away… I'm alone, I've lost everyone and everything I've ever cared about in 6 months. I'm such a fuck up. Maybe I should just kill myself? Must be better than being alone.