-At the Berry household-
Rachel didn't get home until eleven, the tears threatening to spill over her eyes as she yanked her shoes off. One of her fathers, Leroy, gazed at her from the kitchen when he heard the door close. "Honey, your home early! How war your friends little party?"
She sniffed quietly, avoiding eye contact as she nearly sprinted to the stairs. "Fun daddy. I'm going to bed." she said, taking the stairs two at a time. Leroy new something was wrong, but he was the kind of person that would wait it out until later or when Rachel came to him. For that Rachel was grateful, but she couldn't think about that now. All she could think about was getting into her room.
When she reached the room, she closed and locked it, the tears spilling finally as she leaned against the door and sunk down to the floor. She tried to be quiet while she sobbed, taking off her mustard petty coat and carelessly tossing it away from her. The ride back to her home was a blur, how she didn't get into a careless accident she didn't know. Her dads bedroom was all the down the stairs, far away from hers, so she let out her sobs.
I'm so weak, just like Quinn said, she though, pressing a hand to her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut tight, her shoulders shaking. She couldn't make herself angry toward Quinn, or Finn, or Sam even. It was herself she was angry at, her fault she believed the things Sam said prior to that night.
She didn't get off of the floor, just stayed a heap against her door. Her phone was buzzing again, and she checked the caller ID, it was Sam of course. She threw her phone away from her, wishing it would break open, and somehow fix her problems. But it bounced off her bed and lightly onto the floor, perfectly in tact.
After a few minutes, her phone made a melodic sound of whin chimes signaling someone had left a voice message. How many was that now, ten?
Rachel I'm so sorry, please pick up. Please... You heard wrong, it was the wrong part of the conversation- well, if you had heard the beginning... Please call me. I can't explain myself to a machine. You taught me that, Rach, of all people. Just, please... I'm so sorry.
She didn't know what the other eight or whatever sounded like, she couldn't bring herself to listen to them yet because hearing his voice would only further break her heart.
She wanted to go back in time and stop herself from falling into his trap, as Quinn said using her from day one. Was it true? All the secrets she let him in on, and the secrets he confided in her, was it all a lie?
But in the hallway, when he talked to her, she was so happy. Was it fate that they started talking to each other so comfortably, right off the bat? Her stomach tightened when the handsome boy smiled at her, she couldn't concentrate on anything else other then him tell her he wanted to be friends. She needed a friend. He would soon need one as well.
It was their pain that brought them close, the scorn of past love. It seemed to good to be true, and now she realized it was.
After what had to be half an hour, or even longer, a still crying Rachel pulled her self up and dragged herself to the other side of the room, crumbling to the floor once again, taking her phone into her shaky hands. She speed dialed the number 1 button.
You have, nine new messages
"Rachel, you left the party. Can you at least let me know you got home okay?" As if you care.
"It's me... Again. Ugh, Rachel please call me. I care about you, just talk to me. I would be texting you right now but my thoughts or so jumbled it would be so frustrating to try to text it out, with this dyslexia and all. Please, call me."
"Is it safe to assume you got home safely? You were so upset... which was my fault... but you were so upset and you told me never to drive mad... Please be okay, and call me."
"I almost called your house, but I figured if you weren't home and I told your dads I didn't know where you were it would only cause problems for you... Call me back."
"God Rachel you know how to worry a guy to death. Please call me... I'm so sorry but what you heard... I know you hate me now, just please..."
"Guess who? Sorry, I'm so... I don't even know. Being this sad makes me weird. You must think I'm a freak. Give me some credit, if I was lying I wouldn't be trying this hard."
"I just want to know if you're okay."
"So you apparently sent a text to Mercedes when you got into your driveway, so at least I know your fine. I do care, Rach."
"Okay, I'm done calling. You are home now, safe and that's all that matters. Please consider calling me. I lo-... Sleep tight Rach."
After Rachel told Sam that she knew he was didn't believe Quinn's story, he stared at her sadly. "Yeah, I suppose your right."
She tried to smile at him. "Just talk to Quinn about it, okay? Maybe I'm wrong."
"I think she cheated on me." Sam said quietly, making Rachel look down to her feet. It was hard to listen to this boy be so vulnerable, this boy she hardly knew. This boy she didn't even notice until just now.
Rachel didn't know what to say. How could she be comforting? This was so hard, thinking of what to say. "Its not the end of the world." she tried, looking at him again and catching his gorgeous eyes she only now just noticed. "I mean, I know it doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm hear for you, even though we don't know each other. We are both in Glee club though, so I thought that is enough common ground to trust me."
Thankfully, he smiled. "Thanks. It means a lot, actually." he sighed, running a hand through his blonde locks. "I'm going to go talk to Quinn."
Rachel nodded, but neither person moved. Sam suddenly laughed, shaking his head. "Catch ya' later, Rachel." and then he was gone.
While she was walking off, another person was next to her. "Did I just see you hitting on Fish Lips?"
Rachel sighed. "No, Santana, I was not hitting on Sam."
Santana snorted. "Right, whatevs. You would make a cute couple anyway." she said, then veered off into another direction.
Rachel shook her head. What a ridiculous thought, she didn't even know Sam. The notion of them was absolutely silly; As soon as Finn came to his senses he would be begging Rachel to be with him again, and they would get married and have tiny Jewish babies. That was the plan, all that needed to happen was for him to snap out of his Quinn thoughts.
The next day, she spotted Sam down a ways away at his locker, looking like he was in a deep thought. Rachel sighed as she took her text books out, closed her lockers and made her way toward him. "Hey Sam." she said, apparently spooking him because he jumped slightly. "Are you okay?"
Sam shrugged, throwing some books in his locker and taking some out. "I will be." he looked at her, then clarified, "Quinn and I broke up."
Rachel frowned. "I'm really sorry Sam."
She shrugged. "She told the truth at least, kissing Finn behind my back." he closed his locker, rather harshly. "And this morning, Mr. Schue called me into his office saying if my math doesn't go up, I can't be in Glee- Sorry." he said suddenly. "I'm unloading on you."
Rachel shook her head. "Don't be silly its fine. What math are you in."
"Algebra."
"Isn't that-" she was about to say, Isn't that a freshman class, but stopped herself. "I can help."
Sam shook his head. "Its fine, you don't have to."
"No, really." Rachel insisted. "I have a perfect 4.0 grade average, I would be delighted to help. I mean, we are friends now, right?"
Sam smiled. "Thanks."
Rachel shrugged." see you in Glee.
That didn't mean anything, it was just helping with a class, right? Yeah, that's it. She wanted to help a new 'friend'.
If only she knew it was so much more then.
Berry household
Rachel shed herself of her clothes, then climbed into bed half naked. She buried her head into her pillows, waiting for sleep to take her, but she couldn't all she could think of is where Sam could be.
He wouldn't be home, thats for sure. His parents were out of town and he was staying with Puck, so he was likely with Noah.
Rachel shook her head, tears streaming her face once again. What did it matter, where he was? She didn't care, couldn't, shouldn't. He could be wherever doing whatever he wanted now, because it no longer concerned her. Upon realizing that, her heart tore even further.
Why did it hurt so much? The words Sam had used was like a slap into the face, or a giant kick in the gut, but most of all a stab in the back.
She always thought that if it wasn't fate when she told him she would help with math, then it was the duets Mr. Schue set up hours later.
In Glee club, Sam sent next to Rachel, throwing her a charming smile as he sat down. She couldn't help the flutter she felt. But she had to concentrate, Finn was her ultimate goal.
"Alright kids, I got a treat for us. Since duets seem to pump us up for competition, can anyone guess what we are going to do next?"
"Musicals!" Brittany called. Santana grabbed her hand, shaking her head slightly as if she was telling her to be quiet.
"I'm going to assume we are doing duets again." Rachel said in a bored voice. She would like a challenge.
"Yes, and to keep it interesting, we are going to have an opposites theme. I already partnered up people who typically have different ranges and pitch, so first I have, Quinn and Finn, someone will have to see when they are getting back, then I have Santana and Artie, Tina and Brittany, Puck and Lauren, Mike I know how uncomfortable you are singing so just join wherever," Mike gave him a thankful smile. "And of course, last, Rachel and Sam."
"Mr. Schue, what is our song choices based off? An opposite theme?" Rachel asked.
He shrugged. "Try to get out of your comfort zone, that's all. Alright, figure it out." he said, clapping his hands together. Rachel turned her body to face Sam.
"Looks like we're together." Sam said, smiling.
"Seems so." Rachel agreed. "So, you have a very boy band, pop voice so that's something you should stay away from." she said, getting down to business.
"Oh, well, um... You have a very... Theatrical voice?"
"You mean stay away from the ballads, yes." she said, nodding. "Any suggestions?"
Sam stared at her, looking confused. "Um... No."
She nodded. "Yes, I can't really think of anything off of the top of my head."
"You could come over or something." he said suddenly. "We could search the Internet or something, and talk about it... And stuff."
He was asking her to come over? It was purely professional, of course. Sam would never see Rachel in that way obviously. She felt stupid for even thinking it. "Yes, that sounds good."
"Cool, we can go now." he said, standing up. "Do you have a car?"
She shook her head. "No, I use one of my dads when they aren't out of town. Otherwise they ride together to work, but this week they are in Paris for a little vacation."
"They went to Paris without you?" Sam asked, looking concerned.
She shook her hands, dismissing his idea. "No, I insisted that they go without me. They go on little vacations here and there together, and I mostly stay home. Its there time together, really."
Sam nodded slowly. "Well, I should um, tell you, I don't exactly live in a house. Its... its pretty embarrassing actually..."
Rachel stood up next to him. "Sam, there is no need to be embarrassed. I'm sure you have a lovely home.. Or apartment.."
"Trailer." he said, staring at his shoes.
"There is nothing wrong with that. Its just a stereotype that trailers are trashy." Rachel said, wanting him to understand it was nothing he should be ashamed of.
"Its actually pretty trashy, and messy." he said, flushing. "Not my room though." he added quickly. "I try to keep it really clean, and I don't have to share it with my brother or sister or anything... And its a double wide, so its a decent sized room."
Rachel put a hand on his bicep. "Sam, its fine." she said. "I wont judge it."
Sam smiled, looking doubtful but shrugged. "I can drive, anyway." he said, then led her out of the choir room and out the school. She sent a quick text to her dads, saying what she would be up to with a boy that was just a friend.
Sam gestured toward a car that looked ruddy, and old. It was a pale dark green color, from around 1990 Rachel assumed. "I try to keep it in as good condition as possible. Gives me something to do when it breaks down." he laughed.
She smiled. "It has character!"
Sam chuckled. "That's one way of putting it." he went to the passenger seat, unlocking it and opening the door for him. "After you."
She smiled. "Thank you." as she climbed in, she thought about how that was something Finn never did.
"You in?"
"Yes."
He closed the door and ran around the front and climbed into the drivers seat. His car roared to life, making sounds Rachel had never heard from a healthy car. Sam assured her it always sounded like that. He pulled out of the parking lot and took it on the road. "You know, I have been thinking, and if you would rather go to your house..."
Rachel shook her head. "Sam, your home is just fine."
"Just, anytime you want to leave, just say so okay? My parents kind of fight, a lot and it might get awkward."
Rachel laughed. "One time my daddy changed the dolor scheme of the dining room while my dad was on a trip and they nearly killed each other when he got back."
It was Sam's turn to laugh. "They fight over everything. It gets pretty bad." Sam got silent suddenly, turning into a part of town Rachel ever went to. She didn't go through this part of town if she didn't have to, it was a bit... Ghetto.
Sam pulled into a trailer park and drove around the small neighborhood of mobile homes until he slowed and pulled up the curb. While Rachel took her seat belt off, Sam ran around the front and opened her door again. "Thank you." she said, blushing. He closed the door and lead her to a rusting mobile home, and it was pretty, as Sam put it, trashy. There was crumpled up newspapers and such in the yard, with some bicycles and other children's toys that looked like they hadn't been played with in a while.
They walked up the wooden steps and to a screen door with half of the screen ripped off, some tinfoil in its place. Sam opened the door without a key, and held the door open. "After you."
She nodded her thanks and stepped in, him right behind her. Right away he began to take off his shoes and she did the same. He bent over, picked up his and her and sat them on a rack about a foot away. She looked around the trailer then, suppressing a gasp.
It was close to filthy, dishes piling up and some stains on the counter. Sam leaned into her and whispered, "I swear my room looks way better." then gave her an apologetic smile.
She reassure it him it was alright when a scary skinny girl walked in, dressed in an earth toned dress and mismatched socks. She looked sad and old, and tired. "Samuel, who is this."
'"This is Rachel. She is here to work on a project for Glee."
Rachel smiled brightly. Parents always liked her. "Nice to meet you ma'am."
His mom grunted something, then turned away into the kitchen. Sam grabbed Rachels elbow and lead her into a hallway then a room.
Sam was right, he left his room in good condition, it was a striking contrast between the living area and kitchen. Especially for a guy, it was so neat and organized, Rachel would expect it a mess. But it was simple, and clean.
"Told you it would be better." Sam said brightly, blushing.
"Its not that bad." Rachel said.
Sam rolled his eyes, throwing his backpack onto his bed. "Liar. We had wifi, and there is my laptop so, feel free to go on."
Rachel sat awkwardly at his small desk and opened his laptop, waiting for it to start up.
The door burst open and made Rachel jump. A spitting image of a younger Sam ran into the room, staring at Rachel. "Get out." Sam said.
The little boy closed the door and walked up to Rachel. "What's your name?"
"I'm Rachel. What's your name?"
"I'm Cody." the boy grinned. "Are you my brothers friend?"
"Yes I am." Rachel said sweetly.
"Okay, you can get out now." Sam said, hauling himself of of the bed. Rachel could help but laugh as Sam threw the significantly smaller boy over his shoulder and disappeared out of room. She thought about how it made her jealous, it must have been nice having a brother and sister.
Sam emerged back into the room, closing and locking the door. "Sorry, he gets excited when I have people over."
Rachel smiled. "No, its fine he is really cute."
Sam rolled his eyes, standing over her and leaning against his desk. "Try living with him."
"Thats what everyone says." she said. "You must enjoy his company sometime."
"When he is asleep, I can't get enough of him." Sam joked. Sam suddenly took the laptop and punched in a password. "There."
"Thanks." she said. She pulled up Google. "So, you have a sister as well?"
"Yeah, she-" before he could finish, the sound of a screen door being flung open and slammed shut was like a gun went off.
"What the hell is your problem?" a womens voice screamed. "Where have you been?"
"None of you God damn business, that's where." another voice slurred.
By now, Sam was completely still, staring at his door with what could only be described as anxiety on his face. "You smell like booze and I'm willing to bet you were out gambling! God, why I ever married an asshole like you-"
"Shut up!" glass shattered.
Sam was grabbing his keys off of his bed, turning to Rachel. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"No.. I-its okay." Rachel stuttered.
Sam shook his head. "He is being a dick, I don't want him coming in here and taking it out on you." Rachel frowned, standing up. "Come on, we can just hop out the window, I don't want him catching whiff of you here. You'll just be fodder, or whatever."
"I don't have my shoes..." Sam swore, looking at his door, as if he was debating on what to do. "Its okay though, as long as you get them back to me..."
"You can't leave without your shoes." he said, still staring at his door. She could tell he didn't want to go out there.
"Sam, really. It will be okay. As long as I get them back..." They were her favorite black slip ons, so she sure hoped she would get the back.
Turning to look at her, his lips contorted into a frown. "I... You shouldn't have to leave them, its my fault... I thought you would offer to go to your house, I didn't think... Rachel, I'm sorry I didn't think he would come home-"
Rachel placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sam, its okay. We don't even have to go, if you want."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Trust me, you won't want to stay." He went over to the window and pushed it open. "I will go first, then I will help you okay?" he didn't wait for a response as he jumped out of his window with ease. "Alright, come on. Just sit on it and swing your legs over."
Rachel bent over and swung her legs on the window sile. Before she slid down, Saw grabbed her hips with his hands, and she was surprised that all it took was his hands to pick her up and away from the window. But instead of putting her down, he swung her bridal style. "Sam, what are you doing?"
"You don't have shoes and there is dirt everywhere." he answered, glancing at her white knee highs.
She sighed. "Its fine Sam, I have another pair."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." she said, and he gently set he down. He glanced at his house before ushering him to his car, opening the door for her once again, but this time he was in more of a rush. She sprinted to his door and started the car, not letting it warm up before he pulled away from the curb.
Once they were out of the trailer park, Sam spoke. "Rach, I'm so sorry."
Her heart stopped. He called her Rach, why did she feel so much pleasure from hearing that from him? She didn't want him, she wanted Finn. "Don't apologize Sam, really. I hold nothing against you and my thoughts on you are not at all swayed by that. We didn't need to leave even, like I said. Just, can I...ask...?"
"He doesn't hit us." Sam said, monotone.
Rachel sighed in relief. "That's good... I didn't see why you insisted on leaving-"
"I was scared he was going to harass you, if he was in the mood too." Sam said. "Where do you live?"
"Take a left here." Rachel kept giving him instructions until they reached her home.
"Here you are." Sam said, putting it in park.
Rachel looked at her house, then back to him. "Come in? I can make you something to eat."
Sam began to shake his head. "No, that's-"
"I insist." she pressed on. "In fact, I wont take no for an answer! Just come in for a while, until you feel things at your home have calmed down..."
Sam smiled. "Okay."
-At the Berry household-
No, she wasn't able to say that had been a bad memory. In fact, it somehow made her feel closer to Sam, she liked that memory. Her and Sam had many good memories.
But now she knew they were fake.
She should have known it was too good to be true, someone she would get along with so well, that never happened, Sam wasn't any different. But, she felt like she knew him, she did witness his drunk farther verbally abusing his wife. You kind of know someone after that. And then the moments in her home were so wonderful, she didn't want to think about him but they would come to her anyway.
Rachel Berry was not a drinker, but now as she laid with torn feelings, she thought about if her dads were asleep, how she would sneak down into the basement. They had an old lock, she watched Puckerman break into it, she was fairly certain she could do it too. Yes, she knew she could. She would just wait, unless sleep took her first.
Rachel glanced at the clock. It wasn't twelve yet. Tears welled up again and she laid and cried. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, and decided to go through all of the memories again, to see if their were signs of any deception. While she waited and listened for when her dads went to bed. She was determined to break into the liquor cabinet now, Rachel Berry just stopped caring.