A/N:

I had some pretty great reviews from the original story and as it was my favorite one to write thus far, I figured I would add another part. I didn't think James would've gotten off that easily.

So enjoy, Biting Remarks II: Padfoot's Revenge.

Disclaimer: These terrible puns are all my own, other than the flea joke I got from the internet, and JKR owns these characters.

Biting Remarks II

A few full moons have passed since Sirius' last major encounter with fleas. He hasn't had any more spots that needed a good scratching, he hasn't bothered to read his potions textbook in weeks, and the cursing of Fenrir Greyback has gone back to only an occasional occurrence. Padfoot's life, and skin, was finally getting back to normal. The only downside to not having had fleas in a while was James' teasing. James was constantly reminding him of the look of his face covered in the small red dots and Sirius wanted revenge. He just wasn't aware of how soon he would get it.

Approximately three months after his incident, Sirius woke up earlier than the other Marauders and decided to go to breakfast without them. He was still incredibly tired from the previous night's activities, but nothing sounded better than food at that moment, so he left his friends to sleep.

Peter joined him in the Great Hall a little over an hour later.

"I'm going to go visit Moony, want to come with?" Peter asked when he finished his breakfast.

Sirius put down the Daily Prophet, "I think I'll just go back up to the dorms, Pete. Catch a few more hours sleep."

Peter nodded and walked away, so Sirius stood up and groggily walked back up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower. As he reached for the door, he heard a quiet moaning. He slowly opened the door.

"Prongs . . . Are you dying?" he asked as he stepped over the threshold.

He then spotted James, curled up in a ball on his bed, and started laughing. Loudly.

James was covered in small red dots.

Flea bites.

"Yes. Are you happy now?" His voice was muffled by his pillow.

Sirius snorted. "Oh, of course not." He was positively giddy.

James turned his eyes to the ceiling, as if asking for patience, shook his head, and looked over at Sirius.

"Go ahead then, Padfoot. I know you've been wanting payback, so out with it." he sighed.

Sirius cracked his knuckles, cleared his throat, and made himself comfortable on the edge of his bed. This was going to be good.

"I've noticed you have some sort of insect bites all over your body, James. Maybe you should invest in a flea collar."

James rolled his eyes. "Great, I'll keep it in mind. Can I leave now?"

"But James, I heard the most fascinating joke a few months ago, and I just can't wait to share it."

"Oh, Merlin help us all." James muttered to himself.

"Yes I know, it is that great. Would you care to hear it?"

"Only because I know I have no choice."

"Right you are."

Sirius started in a very professional, mock-James voice, but near the end the imitation was ruined by his own laughter.

"What's the difference between deer and fleas?"

"I don't know, Sirius. What is it?" James answered dryly.

"Deer can have fleas, but fleas can't have deer!"

"Hilarious. I can't help but feel that I've heard it before though. "

"Right? I think I should go stag, write my own jokes. I'd make a killing."

James glared at him. "Or end up being killed."

Sirius shook his finger at James. "Now now Bambi, that's not a very nice thing to say."

James' eyes widened. "How do you even know about that movie? I swear, if you've been chatting up Evans, Sirius, I will neuter you."

"Just some passing conversation I overheard between her and Mckinnon, but Merlin, Prongs, what's with all the biting remarks?"

James got up from his bed. "That does it. I quit! Moony is my best mate now!" James yelled as he threw his hands up and stormed out the dormitory door.

"You know your hypocrisy isn't very endearing, James!" Sirius called after him, to which he got a response of, "Piss off, Padfoot." and a rude hand gesture.

Sirius smiled to himself. The dormitory was now empty except for himself and he could catch some more sleep.

Ah, revenge is sweet.