Summary: Brian is gone. Rome has a few things that needed to be said.

Rome's POV

I wanted to be with you. My entire life, you had been my most forbidden dream.
I was so hungry of your body, that I didn't mind your emotional scars. I thought my kisses could erase them. I believed I could fix you. And for awhile, I was happy.
Every night you would open your arms for me, and every morning your face was the first thing I saw. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't easy; it has never been easy with you. But I really thought we could make it work. I thought you wanted it; that you wanted me too. I guess I had it wrong.

And I'm not gonna say you lied to me, because it wouldn't be true. You never said that this was what you wanted. Your smiles and your silences were never meant to deceive me. And I always could read in your eyes the truth you couldn't say to me aloud. You didn't promise me anything. And even though it was painful, you never hid him from me. Sometimes I think I'm the only one to blame. Because despite everything, I believed you would forget him. I thought that someday I would be enough for you. Or, at last, that I would be content with what you could give me.

However, in the end I wanted more than that. I needed more.
I tried time after time to reach you in the depths of your heart. But it was surrounded by strong walls, and every time, I ended up panting on the bed, my soul bleeding and broken. With the taste of your kisses on my tongue; only ashes and smoke.
The worst part was, that I knew you wanted to move on and forget him. You wanted to be happy with me, and for that I kept trying. I kept knocking at your door. I disregarded my own wounds. I held you close to me, wrapped my arms around you tighter. I licked your sweat, and swallowed your moans when I fucked you hard.

Yeah, I knew you badly wanted to be mine alone. But you couldn't, because you never belonged to me. You didn't belong to yourself either. He was always inside you, growing up like ivy, chocking the life out of you. You couldn't love me the way you or I wanted. You couldn't love me the way you loved him.
I knew this would happen. I was waiting for this moment. I was sure that one day, I would wake up, and your side of the bed would be empty. I was expecting it.
However, I didn't expect that the night it happened, I would be awake. I felt you get up out of the bed. And the whole time, a part of me was begging "please, just stay, please choose me. This time, let be me, for once."
I lay perfectly still while you went to the garage. My mind was screaming in pain. Your absence hurt like a bullet in my flesh. I think I can still touch the open wound in my chest. That night you left a hole where my heart should be.

I really wanted to let you go, but I couldn't stand the pain of hearing you leave. I don't know If I was being selfish or stupid. Maybe both. I just couldn't stay there, listening to you leaving me behind without a word. So I got out of the house in time to see your car driving fast into the night. Driving away from us, from me. And then I screamed your name and started running. I didn't care I was barefoot, I just had to do something. I couldn't let you go. Because I knew that if you did, then we would never be together again. Because this time I'm not going to chase you down, and your conscience won't make you ask for my forgiveness. And not because you're afraid of me denying it. It's because you don't really think you deserve it; you always were a glutton for punishment.

I know that someday you will be free and safe again. I know that somewhere he will find you; there is no one who could resist your call. I really want you two to meet again soon. I love you enough to wish you that happiness. But even so I hate you enough to curse you to suffer like me;to have to share the one you love with someone else's shadow.