OK, lets just say that I know the song I picked in the chapter was not one that existed back when this stuff was going down in the show. I just thought the song was fitting so I used it. I do not own anything and all mistakes are mine.

Xander became aware of his screaming bladder before he even opened his eyes. He made to move and groaned. He almost forgot the wicked painful leeching of things from his body. On top of that he was betting that he hadn't moved while he was asleep, which made for wicked painful muscles that have tightened up over the last how many hours. He made to move again and felt hands on him. Xander not thinking about where he was, swung first.

Dean fell asleep in the chair. He didn't want to leave in case Xander needed anything. He wouldn't even let Sammy come in and help. It wasn't like the kid was going anywhere anyway. Dean woke up to the first groan. He didn't hear anything else and settled in to watch when Xander started moving. He moved in to help the kid and as soon as he put his hands on him he had to duck. "Chill dude. Just trying to help."

Xander finally opened his eyes and remembered where he was. "Ok." What else was he supposed to say? This must be one of his brothers. Xander swung his legs to the floor. He found his center and stood up. He got dizzy and leaned on the foot board.

"Do you need help?"

"I need to….bathroom. Got a little dizzy, give me a minute."

Dean stood back. He watched his brother. He didn't notice when they put him to bed, but there was a blood streak coming from his mouth that had dried. Whatever the kid had to go through must have been painful for him to only scream once. If he had blood in his mouth then he bit pretty hard on something.

Xander stood again and moving like a 90 year old man made his way out the door and down to the bathroom.

Dean watched his brother move. He did not look all right. A minute later he heard the door shut. About a minute after that he heard the shower come on. He decided to go down and tell them he was a wake. Dean walked down stairs and found them in the kitchen. "He is moving again. I heard the shower come on. He is looking rough."

"How rough?" This coming from Bobby.

"He is moving like he is 90. I am betting the hot water is going to be all used up by the time he gets out trying to get those muscles to loosen. I would like to check him over for other injuries after he gets out of the shower. He had a blood streak coming from his mouth."

"Dean let's just ask him what he needs for now." Sam told him. Dean nodded. They all heard the shower shut off. They didn't want to bombard the kid but they (as in Sam and Dean) wanted to talk to him. They has some things they needed to tell the kid and they has some questions as well.

(((((

Xander felt about as well as being hit but a bulldozer. The shower loosened him up some but he figured moving would manage the rest. He needed to hunt. The hyena was restless and the best way to get muscles to move was to work them and hunting would do the job. He grabbed his clothes and shoes. He stayed in the towel because the best way to hunt was naked. He did not know what he was going to tell the others but he needed to do this. He made his way downstairs. All three of them were in the kitchen. It looked like they were waiting to pounce. They were going to have to wait. "I need to take care of something I will be back." It was almost comical the way they all looked at him.

"What do you need to take care of that needs to be now?" Dean asked.

"It is none of your business." Xander deadpanned him.

Dean bristled. Bobby was just confused and Sam just gave a look that said "What the hell."

Xander made for the door. "These things require that you are not clothed?" Bobby asked in amusement. Xander sighed. He walked over to the table and eased down.

"You got a question, ask it Uncle Bobby."

"What are you doing?"

"Have you been reading my journal in the virtual library?" Bobby nodded. "Have you come to the school trip to the zoo?"

"I didn't want to invade your privacy, so it has been slow."

Xander nodded. He could understand that. "Well I suggest you read it. Then you will understand that I need to go out." With that he got up albeit slowly. He was still holding his clothes and shoes. Bobby watched him move. Dean was still confused and Sam didn't understand either. Xander walked out of the house. Bobby went to get Xanders laptop.

Bobby sat back down at the table and opened the virtual library and clicked on Xanders journal. He moved to where he left off and skipped ahead a couple pages to where it said school fieldtrip. Bobby started reading. In the aftermath of the fieldtrip, I realized three things. The alpha hyena that possessed me is still in me. Two, I remember everything that happened, and three I cannot tell the girls that I remember or about the possession. Her name is Nala and we struck a deal. I would stay in the driver's seat and for her I would hunt and kill demons. It made her all warm and fuzzy inside. In the event that we are ever in trouble, she is allowed to take control if she thinks that I am in mortal danger. It is amazing how the body can change with a primal alpha running in your body. When I hunt my eyes glow green and my speed and other things clear up and get sharper. For my own sanity I had a blood test taken. I am no longer completely human. She has changed my basic DNA sequence. As I learn more I will update. Bobby did not know what to do. Sam and Dean were watching him. Bobby just turned the computer around. Sam dragged it over between him and Dean. Bobby watched as both of them looked like kicked puppies.

"What the hell?" Dean got up and walked to the fridge to get a beer.

"Dean you have to remember that he deals with things that we have never even heard of."

"But possession Bobby, and one that has changed him from human to not human? If other hunters found out about him he would be on the chopping block."

Sam who had been listening said, "How is it any different than me?"

"You are different Sammy. You are not possessed."

"Yeah but I am not human either, at least not fully." Sam actually laughed. Dean looked at him with WTF face. "You are the only normal one in this family Dean."

"That is not funny. Do you think I want hunters on our ass because of you two not being…..whatever."

"Dean it is not like we have a choice. You need to accept this. Especially if you want that kid to talk to you. He has been living with that possession for three years. It is a part of him now. Even if you wanted to get rid of it, you would probably kill him in the process."

Dean thought about that. He didn't want his brother to die. Hell he didn't want either of his brothers to die. But Sam had a point. Their lives were never going to be normal and if hunters came after them he would deal with that when the time came. "Fine. I won't do anything to get rid of it. But that kid has questions coming his way."

Bobby just sat back watching the byplay between those two. "That is good and all but we have only scratched the surface of what that kid knows. I have left him alone since he got here because he said he just lost his dad. Now that I know it was John, we have to be prepared for questions ourselves."

Dean and Sam looked at each other. They silently concluded that this could get messy.

They heard footsteps on the porch. A moment later Xander came in and went to the sink. They all noticed the blood on his mouth and hands. He cleaned up real quick and turned to look at them. All three of them stepped back. Xander forgot about his eyes. "They clear up in about 30 minutes. It takes that long to shuffle her back." He watched as they all relaxed a bit. "Trust me. I do not kill or hunt humans. She actually likes humans. Also on the plus side, anyone I consider family is pack and she protects them." Xander sat down at the table.

Dean decided this was as good a time as any. "Do you have any questions for us? You know about dad or us?"

Xander didn't even have to think about it. "Nope."

That had Dean and Sam sitting back. "From what Ellen had said and from what Bobby told us, you took dads death a little hard."

"Just for clarification. He was your dad. I do not have a father. You made that very clear when I tried calling for help. To me that man was nothing. He didn't want to be a part of my life. I dealt with things and moved on. So my question to you is, what is your point? Why would you care how I felt about the man? I didn't take it hard. I was confused. I got my head straight. I did what needed to be done to move on."

Dean was sure he just got the PISS OFF speech. "Xander I do care. You are family even though I was pissed at the time. I tried looking for you. I went to Sunnydale. I wanted to know what you looked like but I did not want you to know who I was. I couldn't ask questions because then they would have gotten back to you. I left after two days because I couldn't find you without you finding me."

Xander "Hmmm'd." Dean watched him. "So like the big brother you claimed you weren't you checked up on me. Once. Wow. That is real impressive. You spent two days in Sunnydale and didn't notice how wacked out the town was. Or that we have 18 cemeteries. Did you not step out of your motel room? DO not bothering answering. Look you may consider family high on your list but as far as I am concerned I do not put much stock in family. I had a made family after I found out my so called parents didn't want anything to do with me. Then you know what happened, the family I made decided I wasn't good enough. They thought I was a zeppo, a nobody, when it came to the fight against the night. Did you know that the first thing I killed was my best friend? I staked him because he was turned into a vampire. Do you know what I had to do at my own graduation? No you don't. I planned a military attack against a man who was ascending into a full blood true demon the day that I was to graduate. We blew up our school to kill the thing. I lost friends to vampires. I lost friends to that monster. I averted another apocalypse. I am not some kid. I don't need my hand held to get through the tough stuff. Because for the things that I have been through in my short life, the tough stuff isn't nearly as bad as the world ending." With that Xander sat back. Throughout the whole speech he watched as they all got paler and a might pissed. He might have seen guilt on Deans' face but he wasn't sure.

Dean just sat there. "You are just a kid. You are only 16. Dad wanted me to bring you into the fold. It was one of the last things he said to me." Sam looked at him for that. Dean had told him, their dad didn't say anything to him.

"I may be 16, but by honor and society I am a man. I have loved and lost. I have had sex. I have graduated school and I have faced monsters, not only human but supernatural since I was 13. I have learned languages from ancient times and newer. By all that is holy or unholy in this world I am not a child and will never get the chance to be one." Xanders eyes were glowing again he could feel them. Nala recognized family but she felt Xander and his pain. "What do you want me to say? That I needed Dad? That I needed a brother? Because I did, WHEN I called you. After that little phone call I decided that it wasn't worth it. My own parents did not care. My step father made it a weekly habit of beating me. My mother was so far in the bottle after him that I don't even think they knew I was there other than when he was beating me. I had my own room at the hospital. No, no help came. Nala saved me. She gave me the strength to hit that bastard back. He left me alone after that. I grew up and realized that the only one that I could depend on was numero uno. So what do you want me to say to you?" Xander huffed. "Look, I know that people make mistakes, Goddess knows I have made my fair share. But I learned that there is only one time to make a first impression. I learned that you cannot rely on anything that is not fact. There was at one point, where I wanted to know John. Did you know he called my home asking me to come to my graduation? I had to tell him no. I made it impossible for him to know me because I did not want him in harm's way when that demon ascended. I figured I could track him down after graduation while I was looking for family. He did reach out and I backhanded him because I didn't want him to die. Now I will never get to know the man himself. Stories about him are not going to make him my father. Telling me he was a good man is not going to make me believe it. Asking questions leads to two outcomes. One, I miss the loss of a father I never knew. Where right now I feel nothing and can deal. Or two, you make me hate him because of all the things I never got to do with him that you did. Is that what you want?"

Dean actually had tears in his eyes. Bobby had his head bowed. Xander never broke eye contact with Dean. Sam felt ashamed. He knew that he didn't like Dad all that much but he had it way better than Xander did. It made their fights look mild in comparison. The other three at the table could never understand the pain that Xander had. They can understand the anger but they would never understand the pain. Bobby finally picked up his head. "Xander."

"Bobby I came looking for you because I wanted to know if I had any family that cared. You gave me space to get my crap together. I made a deal. I cannot go back to Sunnydale. I can only go back when they are in dire straits. Meaning big boss show downs. Which tend to happen once a year. What I need is time. Time to relax. Time to figure out what I am going to do. Time to figure out what I want. So for now, I am going to fix that car you gave me. I am going to learn from you how to fix cars and help out around here. Save some money and figure things out. If that is alright with you?"

Bobby nodded. "Whatever you need to do. I will support you." With that Xander got up. He went outside to the back garage where his car was. It needed a lot of work.

All three of them remained at the table. Bobby got up and got glasses and whiskey. Dean sniffed. Sam sighed. "I am not going to push him Bobby but he is family." Dean took his shot of whiskey.

"You heard the boy. He needs time. Spend some time with him, if he will allow it. Get to know him. Let him get to know you boys. You have to fix the impala anyway. You are going to be here for a while."

"What car did you give him Bobby?" Sam asked him.

"The 1967 Chevy charger. He is making real good work on it. He got the engine dropped in. He needs to bolt it down and make all the connections. He is a quick learner too. When he gets stuck he asks, I tell."

Dean was only half paying attention. "So he is good with tools. Bobby he is so angry."

"Wouldn't you be? You heard him. He is not a kid anymore Dean. I don't even think he knew what one was supposed to be."

"Neither did I."

"But you had Sammy to take care of. Granted your Daddy didn't act like a Daddy. He didn't beat you or never make you feel like you were not wanted. He loved you boys even if he didn't show it. He gave you what you needed to survive in this world, even if it was a little backwards and not at all fatherly. Xander didn't even have that. He has to learn to trust you. That takes time." Bobby nodded and then made his way outside. He was going to see if Xander needed any help.

Dean conceded that point. How was he supposed to gain the trust of the most distrustful man on the planet? He would figure it out. Maybe if he asked the kid to help him with the car? It was a place to start anyway.

Sam didn't know what to do. Xander obviously didn't need them. He could tell that Dean was not going to let this go. Maybe he could ask Xander about his demons and stuff. That at least would give him somewhere to start talking to the boy. They both say in silence over everything they heard and their own thoughts.

((((((((

Bobby made his way to the back garage. He walked around the car. Xander was making the various connections from the engine to the car itself. He would have that all done soon enough. "After you get all of that done, what are you going to do next?"

Xander popped his head up. "I was thinking axels and all the stuff that goes with the brakes, rotors, lines, cables, tires, and the bearings. Get this thing off the blocks. Fix the wheel wells and then add the door hinges." Bobby nodded. Xander was definitely on his way to making this car look beautiful. "So you come out here to give me a lecture?"

"No lecture. Just checking on the car."

"Yeah, the car." Xander smirked. "Look, I do not know how family is supposed to work. I am learning with you. And I don't know how to get that phone call out of my head. He completely told me to stay away. So I did. Now he gets an order from their father and he expects me to just jump right in. I can't do it." Xander sighed and clicked the wrench against the metal.

"Why don't you let them try to get to know you? What could it hurt Xander? You could do a lot worse and from the way you were talking it sounds like worse is what you had."

"Bobby I may only be 16 but I have already lost everyone I ever cared about. Not only to death but to booze, monsters, and their own arrogance. I don't think I have the fight left to let anyone else in."

Bobby could understand that. When he lost his wife he felt the same way. But the two boys in there got to him. "Just try. If and when you feel like it. Just know that once you are a Winchester, family loyalty is the highest priority. Dean and Sam would die for each other. That and they are going to be around for a while. Dean has to fix the Impala."

"That thing is toast. How is he going to fix that thing?"

"You would be surprised at what that boy can do with tools and incentive."

Xander shook his head. "You really care about them."

Bobby smiled. "I do. I tried to protect them from John when they were younger. Trying to let them be kids instead of soldiers. John and I had a big fight about it. They spent some of their time here when John was on hunts."

"They are hunters Uncle Bobby. They are never in the same place twice. Granted I was stationary but monster hunting all the time. I did that. I am not saying that I am not going to continue. I just don't want it to be my whole life."

Bobby could understand that as well. "So don't let it become your whole life. Figure out what you want and get it Xander." Bobby looked at the car one last time and started walking out of the garage. He turned the corner and promptly ran into Dean.

What neither of them knew was that Dean had followed Bobby shortly after he left the house. He wasn't going to eavesdrop but he couldn't help himself. He heard the whole conversation. He was still standing there when Bobby came out. Bobby just gave him a face and turned Dean around. Dean needed to leave the kid alone for right now.

Xander went back in the house but only to grab his ipod. It was way too quiet out in the garage. He needed to get lost in the music. He rigged up some speakers for the ipod and turned the music all the way up. The first song that popped up was The Quest by Bryn Christopher. He actually found the song fitting. It also had a good beat.

Dean watched from where the Impala sat. He saw his brother sing along to the words. His brother had some interesting music choices. Most of the songs Dean had never heard. Some were good and some were absolutely bad. He couldn't say anything though. He listened to music that never made it out of the 80's. He noticed that Xander was still moving slow and not quite up to par. His brother needed time to heal. He wasn't going to bombard the kid. His speech about dad kind of hit home. What would it be like to never know your father? Xander did have a point. If they told him about their father, nothing good could come of that. He actually had to think about it but Sammy and Xander were alike. Sammy never knew mom. Not really. Dean himself had memories of his mother. Would it be better if he was like Sammy and not remembered her or grateful because of the memories that he got to share with her? His brothers had more in common than they thought.

Meanwhile while Dean was watching Xander and Xander was jamming fixing the car, Xanders phone rang. He made to pause the music. He answered the phone. "Hey Wills." He had a slight smile on his face. "…." "Willow, slow down. I know you haven't talked to me in a while but my Willow babble hasn't been used in weeks." "…." "Soldier guys?" "…." "What does Giles think?" "…" "Well let me know if I can do anything." "…." "Will, I do not think I am coming back. I need to figure some stuff out." "…" "No I am not telling you where I am currently, and do not do a locator spell. I will fill you in when I am ready to talk. I love you Willow but you cannot help me right now." "…" "You have Oz, and you know you can call me to babble. It will keep me from getting rusty." "…." "I am here for you. I will always be your Xander shaped friend but I needed time and that is all I am asking for is time." "…" "Yes, Will. You will see me again. It is not like I can forget my oldest friend in the Universe." "….." "I will and remember rule one." ".." "That is the one. Look go do what you gotta do. I will speak to you later." "…" "Bye Willow." With that Xander hung up. When he did he looked up and right into the eyes of Dean. Granted he was a ways over but he was still there. Xander just shoved the phone back in his pocket and turned the music back on.

Dean listened with rapt attention. He found out a few things from that conversation. There was definitely more than one person that Xander had worked with. Willow is his best friend. Willow is a witch. And Xander has rules to live by. Who he wanted information on. Willow, Giles, and this Oz. The kid had an online journal in that virtual library. Maybe the others did too. He has some research to do. Maybe it will give him a way to talk to Xander. With that he pushed off the Impala and made his way to the house.

When he got in the house Bobby and Sam were talking in the study. He made his way to them. "Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"Xander has an online journal. Does the people he hunted with have files as well?"

"Yeah. That is why you guys only have access. Ash was told that he could be a reference source but to not give the library out. Xander made him that deal. Why do you want to know?"

"Xander just got a phone call. It sounds like that town of theirs is getting a little uppity and I was wondering who the people he hunted with were."

"Well from what I can tell, there is a Buffy Summers. She is the slayer. Did some research. She is not a myth either. Faith Lehan. Slayer number two by their books. She went rogue and started killing humans. Xander tried to reach her but she almost killed him. Rupert Giles, watcher for the slayer. Well Buffy anyway. Faith had some guy name Wesley. Angel or Angelus. Vampire was cursed with a Soul since he was the scourge of Europe. When he became a vampire he was the most vicious. Ended up with a gypsy curse and he has been fighting on the side of good since. Willow Rosenburg, witch in training. They monitor her so she doesn't do anything wrong. So far she is just learning. But with people teacher the right ways she should be alright. Oz, he is werewolf. Got bit by his cousin Jordy. They lock him up when he transforms. Someone stays with him all night armed with tranquilizer gun in case he gets out. There were a couple other people but none that stuck around or lasted very long. "

Dean listened to the people in Xanders life. He surrounded himself with some interesting people. "Is that all there is on his people?"

"No that was just the summery. They have been through hell and back literally. I have been reading more of his journal. In fact I haven't been able to stop reading it. What did you mean the town was getting uppity?"

"He was talking to Willow. Said they ran across some soldiers. Maybe we could do a little digging. Give them some help when the time comes?"

"Interesting. I will make some calls. Can't promise anything. If it is military it could be hard to get any information."

"It is just that if he does get called back for something, I don't want him going in blind Bobby."

Bobby could understand that. So that is what he did. He gathered as much Intel from the town he could. That was how the rest of the summer went. Dean fixed the Impala. Xander built his car. They all did research. Most of the time it was in different intervals. Dean for the most part, left Xander alone unless it was about a question when he came across something in the virtual library that he didn't understand.

Once the Impala was fixed, Sam and Dean hit the road again. Xander continued to work with Bobby saving up money. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. It seemed the only thing he was good at was research these days. He continued to train with Bobby. Xander put his primal hyena on alert. He was pulling moves he could never show in Sunnydale.

The boys came back after a job. They were more confused because they didn't really do anything but they did find out Sam was immune to some demon virus. Dean started drinking a little bit more. Xander had been keeping in touch with the people in Sunnydale. Mainly Willow to see what was going on with the soldiers. They found out that they called themselves the initiative and Bobby made a few more calls. They tried to recruit Buffy but in the end they tried to kill her. They found out spike was imprisoned by them and was given a chip so he couldn't bite anyone. Xander thought that was on the positive side.

It was nearing the end of the school year for Buffy and Willow. But there was discord with the group. The boys were out on a job when Xander got the call. He was needed back in Sunnydale. Bobby asked if he could do anything. Xander thanked him but said he couldn't help. By then Xanders car was together and running. He painted it glossy black with racing strips. He grabbed his overnight bag and left Bobby's house.

Sam was abducted. Dean was going crazy. He called Bobby and asked if Xander was coming. Bobby told him Xander went back to Sunnydale for the boss showdown. Dean didn't have to choose. He needed to find Sam. Xander was with people and knew how to take care of himself. They found Sam and Dean struck the deal. The Road house burned down and the gates opened.

Meanwhile in Sunnydale, Xander saw through Spike and took care of that. They defeated Adam. He stuck around for the clean-up and hang out time with his Willow. He then made his way back to Bobby's.

When Xander got back to Bobby's, there was a mood. "What did I miss?"

Sam was pissed. He explained to Xander what went down. Dean's deal and the Devil's gate. Xander cursed. Dean would sell his soul for his brother. But Xander also saw through the blinders. There was something off. Dean should have gotten ten years and he only got one. If he could help it, he was going to find out if there was something else going on. Demons do not change up what they do. Xander was finally warming up to them a little and he didn't want his brother to go to hell. There had to be a loop hole and if there was he would find it.

Xander finally decided what he was going to do. He was going to be a hunter. Not like his brothers but be stationary like Bobby. Bobby even offered his home to Xander. He was really good at fixing the cars that came in. He also did side jobs in construction. Sherriff Mills even hired him for a job. Xander was making decent money. Sioux Falls might be a small place but everyone needed home repairs. Xander went on hunts that were close by or no more than 3 days out. In his downtime he looked for the loophole in Dean's deal. He of course wasn't telling anybody because he was still deciding if he should let them be family. If he wanted them to be a family he needed Dean alive. It was still something he was struggling with.

Xander made it a rule that he didn't interfere with his brothers jobs. So if they crossed paths it was unusual to say the least. He helped Bobby research while Bobby also ran the phones. Some interesting people out there for hunters. When Sam and Dean got lost in a town for a couple of weeks, he went after them. He ended up in the time loop with Sam watching Dean die over and over again. It was in this time loop that he saw through the proverbial cracks. He cornered the trickster and noticed something off. "Why do you have wings?"

"How can you even see them?"

"I just can. What are you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I will figure it out. I just have one other question for you. Why the endless loop?"

"Let's just say that Sam needs to learn a lesson."

"What lesson would that be?" Xander was getting annoyed. He knew there was something that he was missing.

"Sam needs to learn that he cannot save his brother from the pit."

"And why is that?"

"Because he made a deal. Nothing can break a binding contract. Not to mention it is played out in the cards of their fate."

"Really. Another world ending apocalypse?"

"No. The apocalypse. Your brothers have set in motion a series of events that are going to lead to the big show down."

"Not if I can help it."

"Who are you?" The trickster asked Xander.

"I am their brother as well. Funny thing about apocalypses, I have averted a few in my time. Not everything is unbreakable."

"Unless you can overthrow things older than time itself there is not a way out of what they set in motion."

Xander thought about it. "I just might be able to do that." With that Xander took his blade out. He sliced his palm and broke the time loop spell. "There are things that even the old ones don't know."

The trickster just got wide eyed. "How did you do that?"

"I am not telling. He walked over to his brothers. "I think it is time to go." With that they left.

They got back to Bobby's and Xander went into the woods. He was going to spend some time with Nala. They had some things to talk about

So here was the second chapter What did you guys think?