Seven Secrets

by SmurfLuvsCookies

Makarov is bored, and thus devises a plan to amuse himself: trick everyone in Fairy Tail into spilling their seven deepest, darkest secrets. What scarring confessions will await him, and what will he do when his children find out they've been tricked?

2. Secrets of the Dragonslayers

SEVEN SECRETS: Secrets of the Dragonslayers

Name: Natsu Dragoneel

1. I secretly think that Happy would look better as a girl.
2. My scarf secretly smells like potato salad.
3. I secretly have pink hair. Everywhere.
4. I secretly have proof that Lucy wears a water bra.
5. I secretly stole one of Lucy's water bras.
6. Secretly, I shaved all of Happy's fur and told him that he was dying to see what he'd do.
7. I secretly walked onto Lucy in the shower. ONCE. She didn't notice because she had her back turned. She doesn't know. So don't tell her!

Makarov sighed, facepalming. He didn't know what to think of Natsu's confessions. First of all, he should have told the Salamander that he didn't need to include the word "secretly" in every single secret. It was implied that he was secretly telling Makarov; he was writing down his secrets! Not to mention his strange fascination with Lucy's boobs - it was disappointing that she wore a water bra, and as to why Natsu would steal it from her underwear drawer, Makarov had no idea, since Natsu was certainly not the type to be perverted with it - also, his idea that Happy would look better as a girl was ludicrous. Makarov did remember the time Happy stormed into the guild once, completely bald, and kicked Gray in the face. It seemed that was what number 6 was referring to. The pink hair thing...was just too much information. And as for why Natsu's scarf smelled like potato salad...Makarov wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He moved on to the next card.

Name: Wendy Marvell

1. I have a little crush on Natsu, but I know he likes Lucy.
2. I once went into a lingerie store to see what it was like.
3. I find lingerie stores scary.
4. I stole candy from a candyshop once.
5. I like Reedus, but he has really bad body odor.
6. I'm scared of the dark still.
7. I'm lactose intolerant.

As Makarov suspected, Wendy's wasn't too terribly juicy. Except for the Natsu thing - how many girls did he have pining over him now? Two? Three? What was it about that boy that made women fawn over him so? And he was completely oblivious to it! Makarov also laughed at the lingerie thing, imagining Wendy's face when she walked in the store. Though she should've been used to it by now, considering what some of the girls of Fairy Tail wore.

Onto the next card, he thought.

Name: Gajeel Redfox

1. I think this "seven secrets" thing is a bunch of bullshit.
2. I'm only doing it because Fairy Tail is starting to grow on me. A little.
3. I used to have a bellybutton ring.
4. I think Pantherlily is part bear.
5. I collect snowglobes.
6. The evil badboy act is really just a ploy to impress the ladies. I'm actually warm and fuzzy inside.
7. I think Levy digs it.

Makarov wasn't entirely sure which answers of Gajeel's were true and which were sarcastic, but he was still astounded. Bellybutton rings, snowglobes, warm and fuzzy inside? Levy? Gajeel really was something of a mystery. He decided not to even attempt to decipher the strange being that was Gajeel, and set the card aside for later. He looked at his watch and closed up the guild, deciding to save the rest of the cards for a tomorrow. He certainly hoped that they were as, if not more, entertaining than the Dragonslayers'.