That was one week ago. Before the camera's left 12. Before she was free. Even when she was free, she wasn't. We still meet in the woods. I still love her. She hasn't kissed me again. I usually kiss her. I don't know if she responds because she loves me, enjoys doing it, or if she's simply using me as a distraction from her trauma from the Games. Either way, I'm confused, happy, and hurt. I don't know if this is wrong. I don't know if it's right. I hate myself for taking advantage of her.
This is what circles my mind. Day and night. Even when I'm with her or my family. I feel guilty when I see Peeta, the "Lover Boy". I can't look anyone in the eye. I can't –
"Oh, sorry, I wasn't –," I start and look up. It's him. I close my mouth and stand back. "Uh, yeah, I noticed." Peeta is standing over me, looking startled and awkward. I stand back and look around. It's just us. I look up at him again. He looks pained. "Is ... Is she alright?" I stand there, gaping at him. "She is, yeah," I respond. I'm sure I look like a fish right now. I don't know what's happening. He could be beating me up but he's thinking. About what, I have no idea. Probably about beating me up. "Do you know why she doesn't talk to me?" He surprises me so much with this question, I almost fall over. "No," I say. Is he going to tell me? Does he even know? Why is he even talking to me? "She was faking. The whole time," He says. "It looked real to me," I quip. His face hardens and I back away. "I've got to, uh, go...," I turn away and start walking away. "Don't ever hurt her. Or I will kill you" I stop, nod and carry on walking, thinking about his threat. Jeez, what's his problem? I shake my head and carry on.
I have to meet Katniss now, and suddenly, I'm filled with anticipation. Should I tell her about Peeta? How would I even go about that? Hey Katniss, funny story, I just ran into the boy you were supposed to be in love with and he threatened to kill me. While I was thinking, my feet have guided me the chink in the fence. I need to make my mind up. Once I'm happy, I climb through the fence and head towards the lake she showed me a couple days ago. We meet there now; it's more private and secluded. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if we hadn't met in these woods all those years ago. I wouldn't have a hunting partner or a best friend. I wouldn't have fallen in love with someone that gets me so well. I wouldn't be the person I am today. I walk for about an hour, and arrive before Katniss does. I set about making a small fire and hunting in close proximity to the small house. I return with a rabbit and a small squirrel on my belt, and find Katniss sitting cross legged on the floor.
"Hey Catnip," I grin at her. "Hey Gale," She smiles back at me, her eyes dancing with humour. "Get much?" She asks, nodding towards my haul. I laugh and nod. "Want some?"I raise an eyebrow and gesture first towards the rabbit then to the fire, which is considerably larger than before. She laughs and nods, making space on the floor for me to sit down. I sit down and shuffle close to her, bumping thighs and shoulders with her, making her grin. I skin the rabbit and make a spit out of a couple spare sticks lying on the floor. While the rabbit is roasting, I turn to her.
"Why me?" I ask her. "What?" She responds, looking confused and almost hurt. "What do you mean 'why you?'" "I mean ... Why did you pick me? You could have had any boy in the district, you could have had Peeta. You picked me. Peeta loved you since you were five. I can't compete with that."
"Why wouldn't I pick you?" She shakes her head and takes my face in her hands. "I love you."
