I try to pretend like it doesn't bother me, and honestly, it shouldn't. I should be so used to it because it's been happening since before I was five. But when you're that young, you don't realize the importance of having a father until you come to the conclusion that you don't have one. And memories of when he actually did care have disappeared and all you have is your mother's word that he did love you.

To everyone else, I have the perfect life, the perfect house, car, everything … but that's because some people don't understand that everyone has problems and no one is perfect. Having a father us just one thing that has made my life less than perfect, but more and more it becomes worse and worse.

There used to be a time when I could at least count on my mother to be there, and even she-- she turned away from me as if increasing her position in the workforce, and in other people's eyes, would make up for the fact that my father is only staying with my mom to keep people from talking. After all, the mayor and his family are supposed to represent Degrassi and all that it stands for.

So, rather than dwelling on the fact that I come home to an ever-empty household, I try to focus on the things that make me happy. Like music. See I thought that if I could invite my parents into my world and let them see what makes me happy, what I live for; not a Mercedes for my 16th birthday or a new MP3 player, or even an X-Box, but music. Music is something that I has no materialism attached to it, but it's real.

I thought I could show them who I was through my music. But, instead, I ended up being disappointed. Two months! I told them two months ahead of time so that they could "pencil me in." But, it didn't matter because I reached the same conclusion. It didn't matter to them. And as much as I'd love to tell all my friends about it and confide in them, in hopes they would understand, I couldn't. I can't.

I would just make sure that I would be the exact opposite of them. I wouldn't let people feel like they were alone in world, empty. I would appreciate everyday I had with them, especially since I knew, 1st hand, that life was temporary. When Rick shot me, I almost died, but I held on … for Hazel, Spin, and even Marco. And I wasn't going to let Hazel go. Ever. I promised myself that. (Jimmy concludes pulling out a small black box filled with a ring that he had purchased with the intention of someday marrying Hazel.)

Jimmy Brooks

(A/N: To come, Ellie's diary entry, Liberty's desperate cry for help, and Sean fitting into the entire puzzle … most of this story will be based on Jimmy, Liberty, and Ellie but I will make sure to add in a few entries from other characters and a little dialog if you guys want it. SO let me know who you want to hear from!! –NL)

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caramelswirl11

Degressi to be