Blair has known Serena and Nate her whole life. She has seen this before, Serena running and Nate left behind with blue puppy eyes full of questions and hurt. They've done this since forever. Even when he was her boyfriend.

She thinks she has known it all along, ever since the beginning.

That it was Serena and Nate. Nate and Serena.

Always would be.

The man standing next to her, her fiancé, has known it too. From that disastrous brunch they all attended. Now standing here, holding hands with Blair, it feels like another life.

And it kind of was.

Nate's head is spinning. She was pregnant? He can't get his thoughts straight, aren't able to move, to talk.

To think at all.

"What happened, Nate?" Blair's voice is firm, like it so often is when it comes to these things.

"What did you say to her? What did you do?" She looks at him and he just stares down the corridor.

"Snap out of it!"

She lets go of Dan's hand and hits Nate's arm.

"Ouch! What did you do that for? Why do you just assume I'm to blame..?" He looks at her with narrowing eyes.

She rolls her eyes at him and looks over at Dan, as to get him to back her up on this. Like its so obvious for the whole world that Nate has done something to upset Serena.

"Eh…" Dan starts and sees the look on his future wife's face.

"So what happened in there, Nate?"

He asks and gives his friend an understanding look. He knows very well how Serena can be. How she runs when things get hard and how she shuts people out.

"I don't really know." He sighs.

That's the truth.

He doesn't know at all. Doesn't understand what happened in there.

"You must have done something…" Blair says and still she thinks he's to blame even though he sends her another look to tell her otherwise.

Dan doesn't like the tension that's starting to build up between the two and the looks the former couple are sending each other.

"You know…" He says and lets out a little laugh.

"Me and Serena broke up in an elevator once. Silly breakup really…" He stops when they both turn around and give him the exact same look.

"Maybe not the time to bring that up…" He says to the ground.

Blair sends him a look that says, you think?

Nate continues to stare down the corridor. A part of him wants to run after Serena, but the other part wants to go the opposite way and never see her again.

"Since you're clearly not going to do anything about this." She gives Nate one last blaming look.

"I'll go find Serena"

She quickly kisses Dan and ignores Nate. Then she leaves them both without another word.

"Looks like its just me and you then, buddy" Dan says and give Nate a big smile.

He doesn't return it and he doesn't respond.

"The boys are back!" Dan holds up one of his hands to encourage a high five.

Nate has to crack a smile and laughs at his best friend.

"Can you get me drunk? Like really drunk…" He says and gives Dan what he wants.

"No problem." He says, before thinking.

"As long as you don't tell Blair."

Blair has no idea where Serena may have gone. She can be far away by now. But she really doesn't have anywhere to go. When she rounds the corner of the long hallway she swears she can hear someone cry.

"Serena?" She screams out.

The crying stops.

Blair sees an open door and slowly walks towards it.

"Serena? Are you in there?"

And that she is.

Serena is sitting curled up on the floor, tears flowing from her blue eyes.

Blair sits down beside her and reaches out to grab her hand.

"What are you doing here, Serena?" She asks and looks around the room.

"The door was open and I just had to…" Serena starts.

"I had to get away from there and I had to breathe."

She sobs over and over.

"I needed to breathe" She whispers.

Blair simply nods at her. She knows her best friend. This is not new, this is classic Serena.

She breaks down.

She runs.

She loves.

Like no one else.

She loves with all of herself, with every cell in her body.

She runs, she breaks, she loves.

It's who she is.

It's a package deal.

And Blair knows that. She accepts it; she loves her no matter what and wants to help her when things are hard. When she breaks Blair tries to put her back together and when she runs, Blair let her.

And just hopes she comes back.

When Serena loves, Blair knows that she eventually will run or break. Or both.

It happens every time.

And Nate knows that to, Blair is sure of it.

He has always known it.

Because Serena always runs, a part of Blair thinks her and Nate will never get their happy ending.

And it breaks her heart a little.

"What happened in that elevator, S?"

"Too much, too much of everything."

Serena rests her head on her knees and tries to get control of the tears and sobs.

She fails.

"I hate seeing you like this, S" Blair tells her.

"Hate it" She repeats.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Serena looks up at her best friend.

"Tell you what?" Blair asks, confused.

"That Nate is Dan's best man." She whispers.

Blair sighs.

"I thought that it was obvious. You know they're best friends."

"I know. I just forget it sometimes… " She takes a breath.

"Because they weren't when I left" It's only a whisper.

Because Serena doesn't really want to go there.

To that dark place.

The place and day that has seemed to defined them, their lives at this moment.

The darkness that has brought them to this point.

And Serena thinks that bringing it up will make Blair cry or make her mad. To Serena's surprise, Blair gives her a smile.

"When you left everything was a mess. I was, Nate was. Everything was falling apart, we were breaking. But Dan…" She stops and closes her eyes.

"Dan was a rock." A tear escapes from one of her eyes.

"He was there for me and Nate like no other"

"Like I wasn't" Serena says and looks at the ground.

"I didn't mean it like that"

"But it's the truth." Serena says harshly, she wants Blair to be mad at her; she wants them all to hate her for leaving.

Because that's easier.

And that's one of the reasons why she left.

To make things easier.

"You should hate me."

"I don't."

Serena sighs and sets her eyes in Blair.

"I left all of you. Again." She stops.

"No goodbyes. You should all hate me. That's what I deserve."

Blair shakes her head slowly.

"I admit that I was furious when you left. I thought it was selfish of you to leave everyone who loved you." She takes a breath before continuing.

"To leave two days after Chuck died, it was… just wrong."

Serena shivers when Blair says his name. She hasn't heard Chuck's name been said out loud since before he died.

"But for us to hate you…" Blair looks down, takes a break. She too isn't used to talk about that day.

"I know that's what you want. Because you think that makes everything easier. You think it will make you happy. But it won't, Serena. You can never be happy when you keep denying your feelings, when you keep pushing away the people who loves you."

Serena doesn't respond to that.

She isn't happy.

She hasn't been for a long time.

And she doesn't deserve to be.

Not now.

Not after everything.

"Nate doesn't love me anymore."

"He never stopped" Blair whispers.

"Yes, he did. He stopped in that elevator." Serena's voice cracks and she can feel more tears surfacing.

"What happened in there, S?" Blair asks one more time.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Serena screams and storms out of the room.

"There's nothing to talk about." Nate says and looks over at Dan.

"I know you, Nate"

"Something bad happened in there. I know Blair thinks that it has to be you that have done something to upset Serena. But I think it was her that did something. Or said something."

"Something that hurt both of you"

Nate doesn't respond to that, he just silently takes another sip of the scotch.

"Your silence confirms my theory"

"I know you." Dan repeats.

"You only get drunk when Serena has done something to push you over the edge…"

Dan sighs.

"It happened when she left too."

"Have you heard?" Nate stumbles into the loft.

Dan shakes his head.

"She is gone!" Nate screams at him.

"Who's gone?" He asks, even though he knows the answer.

It has to be Serena.

Nate only acts like this when it's Serena.

"She sent Blair to tell me." He sits down in the couch.

"After she left of course, she couldn't risk me finding her before she was long gone."

Dan sits down next to him.

"I can't believe she would do that…" He says.

Nate shakes his head.

"It's who she is. She runs. Doesn't care that people will miss her, that people need her…"

"That I need her, that I love her."

Dan doesn't know what to say.

"My best friend died, he's being buried next week. And she just leaves."

Nate is close to tears.

"She'll be back for that. Maybe she just needed some time for herself. A break." Dan says.

"She will come back."

"No, she won't. You don't know her like I do"

Dan doesn't argue that.

Nate jumps up from the coach and starts walking around in circles.

He looks lost.

Broken.

Devastated.

"I hate her!" He screams.

"You are drunk." Dan says.

"You don't know what you're saying."

"I know I hate her" He screams again.

And then Dan doesn't argue that either.

Dan looks over at his best friend.

"Do you hate her now?"

Nate doesn't answer.

He looks down in his now empty glass and stands up to leave.

"I need more to drink."

Serena starts to unpack her bags.

When she is finished her head feels as empty as they are.

She lies down.

She wants to close her eyes and disappear.

She wants to leave this city again.

She doesn't want to feel like this.

She doesn't want to feel.

When she's close to sleeping, someone knocks on her door.

Hard.

It's Nate.

Of course it is.

"How..?" how did you find me?

"Can I come in?"

She wants to close the door and pretend that he isn't there.

But he is.

Nate doesn't wait for her answer; he goes inside the room and stops infront of her bed.

"Something more you want to tell me?" He asks coldly.

"I…" Serena starts.

She sits down and shakes her head.

"You owe me an explanation."

She starts to cry, she has been avoiding this moment for so long.

She doesn't want to talk about it.

It hurts too much.

It's too real.

"I found out I was pregnant the day before…"

"You know…" Serena really doesn't want to talk about that day with Nate.

It brings back all the guilt and all the emotions she's been trying to escape.

He knows too well.

He will never be able to forget that day.

"I lost the baby that day..." She whispers.

It hits him, even though he had a feeling that was what happened.

She looks him in the eyes.

Doesn't know if its guilt or blame, or just sadness she sees there.

Maybe it's a little bit of everything.

"You should have told me" He says.

His voice is hard and it kind of surprises her.

The sadness in his eyes are gone now.

If it was ever there.

"I had a right to know."

"You're drunk" She says quietly.

"Doesn't change the facts" He responds.

And of course it doesn't.

She knows she should have told him a long time ago.

A long long time ago.

But she's never been able to.

She wasn't now either. She just said it so he would leave her alone.

So he could hate her.

She knew that when she told him, he wouldn't look at her the same way again.

And she was absolutely right.

"Why?" He asks.

That one word contains so much.

Why did you leave?

Why didn't you tell me?

Why?

"Didn't you think I deserved to know? Didn't you believe I loved you enough to help you through it?"

He is so angry and hurt.

Serena can't take it, she just cries. Not able to give him an answer.

He needs answers.

Desperately.

"I can't even look at you right now"

And then it's his turn to leave her.