Clarissa A. Fairchild. Clary looked down at her signature block on the weapons requisition forms for the New York Institute and realized that most of the Shadowhunter world must see her in a very different way than she saw herself. In spite of her role in the Mortal and Dark wars, Clary still saw herself as an underdog, a normal person. The world, on the other hand, saw her as some great hero. Her appointment to co-head the New York Institute at such a young age was proof of that, as was the treatment she received from fellow Shadowhunters. There was, what some people would call hero worship surrounding herself and Jace. On several occasions she caught some of her own conclave staring at her when they thought she wasn't paying attention and one bold new Shadowhunter even had the nerve to ask for a signed photograph. She remembered teasing Simon, her soon to be parabatai about it once. "How is it that I've never played an instrument in my life and somehow, I became the rock star?" she asked jokingly.
"You've always been a rock star, Fray" responded Simon with a sincere smile, "it's just that now, I'm not the only one who knows it."
Clary was alone in her office, smiling at a lifetime of great memories that she shared with Simon. She was so absorbed in the thought of getting her best friend back, her Simon, that she almost didn't see the fire message appear before her. The message had almost hit the floor before she managed to snag it, her heart pounding. It read, in 3 days, be ready.
It had been over a month since the incident involving Magnus and the love potion. During that time, Clary had only seen the warlock once a week when he came to check on Jace. She was still angry, she was irate at Jace for being so careless, mad at Alec for not keeping a closer eye on what Jace was doing, and most of all, she was furious at Magnus for keeping that potion. Even though she knew she was being too hard on Magnus, she couldn't help it. That night, after Magnus knocked out both Jace and Alec, things escalated between them and Clary thought she might have to harm Magnus.
"Look, I know you're mad Clary, but I will move heaven and earth to put these boys right." Magnus had said.
Clary's recollection of that night was perfect. "I'm making a portal and getting them back to the institute, I'll call the silent brothers and make up some lie about how they came into contact with the love potion" Clary replied in a barely controlled tone; it had taken everything inside of her to not scream the words.
"I really think that they should be left in my care. This potion is of my making and I need to put them under a suspended animation spell which requires constant monitoring." Magnus replied, his agitation had begun to show as the limits of his composure seemed to be reached.
Clary stared at Magnus for a long moment before she had coldly replied "Like I'd trust you with their safe keeping, after you've shown such poor judgment by keeping that love potion around. How can I trust you? No, I'm taking them both back." Clary turned her back to Magnus who was standing by the front door of his apartment; she had pulled out her stele and began to create a portal rune. She heard Magnus say something but hadn't been able to make out the words, turning she asked, "Did you say something?"
"I said you're not taking Alec." Anger was prominent in Magnus' voice and he stared, challengingly at Clary.
In the blink of an eye, Clary had a seraph blade in her hand for the second time that night, Alec and Jace no longer stood as an obstacle between them. "Umiel" spoke Clary and the seraph blade exploded into light, she remembered the warmth of its power spreading though her arm and into her body as she held the blade before her.
Magnus had appeared pale as Clary looked at him through the light of her seraph blade. It hadn't surprised her at all to see that he was not backing down; blue sparks were visible on every one of his fingertips.
"Clary, I think things have gotten out of hand." said Magnus, a mixture of sadness and anger in his voice. "We should take a few moments to calm down and talk about our options before things are done that can't be taken back."
"There is nothing to talk about, these two Shadowhunters belong to the New York Institute and that makes them MY responsibility." Clary had replied, her voice rising in volume with every word.
"No, what makes them your responsibility is that they are your family, just like they are mine. It was never my intention to hurt them and I will trade my life if it means that they will return to normal". Magnus' words were spoken in a soft voice, all anger gone, a defeated tone replacing it, but they hit Clary like a blow to the chest. The word family had cut through the anger that, without her realizing, had enveloped her like a thick layer of smog. Slowly, her fury abated and her newly acquired Shadowhunter training had taken over. Alec and Jace's situation required diplomacy and so she had agreed to a compromise.
Clary had not understood why the boys needed to be placed in suspended animation or what it was and demanded an explanation. Magnus seemed to be racking his brain for a long moment before he came up with an answer that Clary could understand. He said, "I'm sorry to bring this up and it might make things worse between us, but you already know someone who was under the effects of a suspended animation potion."
Clary had frowned at Magnus, while her mind raced to figure out what he was talking about. He gave her a few moments before he mercifully helped her out. "Your mother drank a potion made by the warlock that you knew as Dot. Do you remember how your mother was when you found her?" asked Magnus in a somber tone.
The memories of finding her mother in a comatose state had come crashing back into Clary's mind and she understood. "So, you're saying that Jace and Alec will be in a coma until you can figure this out?" Clary had asked.
Magnus nodded gravely and added "It's a little more complex than that but a coma is the basic gist of it."
Magnus had gone on to explain that he was afraid the effects of the love potion might intensify as time passed and the boys might become more dangerous. After Magnus' explanation, they decided that Alec would remain with Magnus while Jace returned to the institute with Clary. The silent brothers would not be involved because they would be duty bound to report to the Clave and Magnus would have been in serious trouble. Finally, they had agreed that Magnus would visit Jace once a week to check on him and that he would send a fire message once he found a way to reverse the effects of the love potion.
Remembering that night and her actions made Clary feel ashamed all over again. It was clear to her now, that Magnus had been as scared and panicked as she had been, maybe even more. Clary put her face in her hands at the memory of having drawn her weapon on Magnus, not once but twice. She knew the right thing to do was to apologize but hadn't been able to bring herself to do it on the few occasions she had seen him. Sitting in her office she resolved to make amends the next time she saw Magnus. Now, after what had seemed like an eternity of covering for Jace and Alec's absences, Clary was holding a fire message from Magnus.
The past six weeks of Magnus' life had been the most exhausting he could remember: mentally, physically, and emotionally. He worked around the clock to find a way to reverse the effects of the love potion, calling in many favors to acquire rare books of magic, some of which were not Clave approved. Magnus had meant what he told Clary, he was prepared to sacrifice his life to free Alec and Jace, to not be able to choose who you love was a fate far worse than death. During the first couple of weeks, Magnus had fallen into despair, his potion was unique, and he did not know if he could reverse its effects. At his lowest points, he would enter the room in which Alec slept and stare at his very own sleeping beauty. Seeing his one true love in that bed and knowing that his actions put him there drove Magnus onward with renewed determination. Three weeks into his search, he found the first piece of the puzzle in a scroll procured at the shadow market, that had been the first breadcrumb. Now, three weeks after his first clue, he finally, through immense trial and error, perfected the spell that would break the love potion's effects.
Magnus showed the spell to Catarina Loss who had been watching Max, she had been an invaluable help and he was sure there would be no way to truly repay her. With a crease in her eye brow she looked up at Magnus and said she thought it would work but that she would be keeping Max at her place until it was all over, Magnus did not object. His confidence bolstered by Catarina's validation, he was finally ready to move forward. The only thing holding him back now was his last encounter with Clary and the still fresh emotional scars it had left. Magnus didn't think he could stand another confrontation with her. He was afraid that if the spell failed she would never forgive him and he would lose his family in one fell swoop. So, he sat at his desk, drinking whiskey and looking at the spell but not really seeing it, all he saw were the possibilities. Finally, after a few drinks to push the fear away, he scribbled a quick note and sent it to Clary in a fire message.
Three days after Magnus sent the fire message, at exactly eight pm, a portal materialized in what used to be the living room of his old apartment. The space was now used as his office, although, for the foreseeable future would be the ritual site. It had taken Magnus almost a full three days to create the markings on the floor. Meticulously, he had drawn the three interconnected circles known as a triquetra which were required to undo the effects of his potion. The triquetra was also encircled in four different languages which included: demon, fairy, ancient Latin, and Greek. These languages spoke a message of separation, unbinding, and true love. Magnus saw Clary through the portal, she had Jace's arm around her shoulder. Surprisingly, Clary was carrying Jace's weight rather well, a look of grim determination on her face. As soon as they both passed the threshold of the portal and entered Magnus' apartment, he snapped his fingers relieving Clary of her burden. Jace was now levitating slightly off the ground and Clary gave Magnus, what he thought, was a sincerely grateful nod. Magnus levitated Jace's body to a spot on the floor and gently set him down, Alec was about ten feet to his right and there was a box at a 45-degree angle between the two. With the two boys set in place, Magnus turned to Clary who was looking at the markings on the floor. He could see the curiosity burning within her and knew that she would not allow him to begin without thoroughly explaining the process. "If you'd like," he said in a neutral voice "I have brought food and drinks for this next part." They both knew that bringing Clary up to speed would take some time and so, after a brief pause, Clary followed Magnus into the dining room.
Clary entered the dining room and sat down at the table, she was usually so impressed by Magnus' sense of décor, but tonight her mind was singularly focused on the ritual. She noticed that Magnus did not sit, he was leaning back against the wall, his body facing her, but his face was turned looking at Alec in the other room. Clary waited a few moments, looking over what would have been a feast fit for royalty spread out on the table. Finally, she spoke. "Look Magnus, before we do this I want to apologize." Magnus held his hand up and cut Clary off before she could get out her full apology.
Without taking his eyes off Alec he replied "There is nothing to apologize for. In fact, I want to thank you."
Magnus was speaking in a hoarse whisper and Clary was completely surprised by his words. Maybe he had snapped from all the research and the stress of the situation.
Magnus continued "I want to thank you for loving Alec. I can't say that I wasn't hurt by being on the business end of your seraph blade, but I get it."
Magnus looked so hurt and tired, he almost sagged against the wall. At that moment, Clary wanted nothing more than to hug him or give him a kind word. Her body would not allow her to do either of those things, it was frozen from the guilt of her actions, her throat was dry and unable to create words. She had treated him like the enemy when he too was a victim, the most important person in his life was also under the effects of the love potion and all the pressure to fix the situation was on him. There were unshed tears in her eyes as Magnus turned to face her for the first time since they entered the room.
"Thank you for loving my Alexander enough to protect him from any danger, even if that danger is me. You will always have a place in my heart for that." They stared into each other's eyes for a short moment before Magnus took a seat across from her and in a more casual tone added, "how about I explain this ritual, so we can get started?"
Magnus snapped his fingers producing a pen and legal pad in front of Clary. "Look, I am going to have to speak for a while to explain this ritual. So, if you have any questions, write them down and we'll go back to them once I finish. Sound good?" he asked of Clary, who gave a curt nod, pad and pen at the ready. "First, let's start off with the symbol on the floor, it's called a triquetra. As you may have noticed, the symbol consists of three circles that are interconnected at a central point, each circle represents a whole living being and the place where they intersect is the connection that those people have to each other. In this case, the rings correspond to myself, Alec, and Jace." Magnus saw Clary open her mouth to ask a question, remember her legal pad and with visible effort close her mouth, jotting her question down quickly as to not interrupt. He felt the beginnings of a smile play at his lips but quickly suppressed it, surprised at how much he had missed being around her. "The box placed where the circles intersect will serve as a vessel for any feelings that are untrue. It was made using the remains of the love potion and a rare form of fairy wood used to create love arrows for what humans long ago called Cupid." At the mention of Cupid, Clary's mouth fell open, but she did not interrupt. She instead, moved quickly to a page at the back of her legal pad and scribbled down what Magnus assumed was a question for another time, when the boys were back to normal. Magnus continued painstakingly explaining every facet of the ritual; he included explanations on why the four languages that encircled the triquetra were selected, what they said, where the materials for this spell were retrieved from, and why he thought it would work. He only kept one thing to himself, the first step of the ritual. After what seemed like hours, Magnus was finished talking and was ready to field Clary's questions.
Magnus was not surprised at the insight behind Clary's inquiries, he knew she would have been doing research on her own during their time apart. They went down her list together and Magnus would explain until Clary would show her understanding by crossing out the question. A few of the questions Magnus was only able to answer with "I'm not sure, the love potion is unique and so is this reversal spell." Clary had not been happy with that answer but seemed to accept that it was the best she could hope for in this situation. At long last, Magnus thought when Clary closed her legal pad, out of questions.
"Alright, let's do this" she said in what Magnus could tell was a voice trying for confidence.
"Lets", replied Magnus, giving Clary a smile that he hoped masked everything he was feeling. One of the things that Magnus tried to hide from Clary during his explanation was the crippling uncertainty and fear he felt. She seemed to have bought his act because she was willing to proceed immediately or maybe it was just that she really was a Shadowhunter, always choosing action over inaction. Magnus rubbed his eyes, said a silent prayer to any higher power who was listening, and followed Clary back into the living room.
Upon reentering the ritual site, Magnus was happy to see that his spell was beginning to work; Clary had a look of shock and wonder on her face. The floors of the circles in which Jace and Alec slept had glowing runes beginning to ring their insides. As Magnus watched, more runes began to appear, and he smiled. "Clary," he said, trying to hide his excitement and hope "the ritual is beginning to work. That golden writing is the first step, it is writing down all the truths in Alec and Jace's lives. Think of it as a download of their true selves into that circle. I didn't know if it would make sense without seeing it, so I held off on explaining this one part. I have to climb into my circle and let the process begin working on me." Clary was looking at Jace with such an intense expression that Magnus looked away. He took a step towards his circle and felt Clary's hand grab his arm, holding him in place.
"Is there anything I can do?" asked Clary almost desperately, her eyes still on Jace.
"Sorry, but you're just a spectator in this dance, biscuit" Magnus replied sympathetically. "I'm going to cast a spell on myself to sleep for the next 24 hours while my download completes. You're free to come and go as you please, I've made this apartment only accessible to your portals, I put all my wards up earlier today." Magnus was a little shocked when Clary pulled him into a fierce hug. He could feel all her emotions in that hug: all the pain, worry, fear, love, hope, and so many other feelings that he was almost overwhelmed.
"I'm sorry Magnus" he heard her say in a small voice.
Suddenly, Clary morphed into the little red-headed two-year-old whom he'd met so long ago, the girl he had always hoped to protect, the first person he had cared for, secretly, in a very long time. Blinking back tears, Magnus quietly reaffirmed his promise "I will sacrifice my life to give you back your Jace, Clary." Gently, he broke the hug and stepped into his circle, thankful for the sleeping spell he was about to cast. He knew that the vision of a young Clary in so much pain would haunt him for the rest of his days. With that thought, he cast his spell and closed his eyes.