I Dream of Djinni
or
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat
or
Djinn and Tonic
After stopping a pitiful attempt to rob the Nekohanten, we find Mousse removing blood from his swan potty-trainer. While his Fist of the White Swan never had worked on Ranma, it was perfect for dealing with petty crooks. While rubbing the swan with a damp washcloth, a cloud of smoke started to emerge, and took the shape of a man's torso ending in a cloud of smoke.
The Djinn looked at Mousse and said "How the hell did you come up with the idea to attack with a potty-trainer?"
"It was in my family's collection of precious weapons."
"It was there because I was inside it. Not because it was a weapon. I was trapped in there by an ancestor of yours with what passes for a bizarre sense of humor. Personally I think she would have benefitted from psychotherapy."
"Is this going to be a case of revenge on the descendant?"
"No point to it. It's not a bad life in there. Gives you time to think. Plus I've been keeping up with the outside world by letters for years. I've even picked up a few college degrees by mail. Also had a chance to do some serious reading. You know what? Ninety percent of what you humans publish IS crap. But the other ten percent makes it worthwhile. I could have left any time in the last hundred years but it wasn't worth the effort."
"Oh, then I guess I can't expect 3 wishes for releasing you."
"Sorry. I decided to come out when you performed the requisite rubbing just to stretch my legs, so to speak. You wouldn't happen to have any Stilton, would you? I haven't had it in years."
"What's Stilton?"
"A type of cheese. Nevermind. It's not important. You have too much of something that I want, and I can do something that may get you what you want. At least it'll make your life a bit more pleasant. But being human, you'll probably refuse. I can give you perfect vision, and a set of exercises that take 10 minutes a day which will maintain your vision sharper than most people."
"And you want my soul?"
"Nope. Not my kink. Nasty things those disembodied souls are. An artist can make lovely things from them, but I don't have the tallent. Most raw souls make me sick to my stomach. No, I lost my emotions a few centuries ago, and I've grown tired of the overly analytical life. This emotionless `Live long and prosper' gets old real fast. I want to try `Be fruitful and multiply' again."
"You want my love of Shampoo? I'll never give her up!"
"No, no, no! I don't want to go through adolescense again, I want some of your ability to feel strong emotions. Not your particular emotions. And I can't take it all from you, just some of it. It will also keep you from loosing your head around Shampoo while you try to win her, and make the process less painful for you."
"You'd give me sight, and then take away my appreciation of Shampoo's beauty in exchange?"
"No. Doesn't work that way. Appreciation of beauty is an aspect of the intellectual mind. Emotions actually cloud your perceptions. This will keep you from running into her bonbori while you run toward her. As an added bonus, since your human, whatever I remove from you emotionally will grow back over time, while your vision could last a lifetime if you're careful. I guarantee my work to be free of initial defects, but I don't provide a warrantee if your vision is subsequently lost due to accident. Don't gouge out your eyes or stare at the sun at noon. I can also remove any current tendencies toward glaucoma, but future mutagens and virii could recause it anyway as you get older."
"But if I agree, I'll probably regret it. What will you do? turn me into a rabbit?"
"No. This is a straight deal. You need your retinas reattached to the back of your eyes, and the dead nerves replaced. The muscles controlling the shape and focus of the eye are also pretty weak, so we regenerate those too. Flush out the few bodily poisons that might eventually lead to complication, and correct a slight astigmatism in your left lens that no one noticed because of the severity of your other problems. While we're at it, I can change the color of your irises, if you like. Only other side effect I can imagine, is that you'll need to sleep for eight hours for your body to recover from the changes."
"Could you cure my Jhusenkyou curse too?"
"Sorry, that's water magic, my racial affinity is wind. That curse is a tangle of magic that I'd likely make worse through fiddling. It'd be like a doctor trying to fix a broken arm, when all he's learned to use was a chainsaw. I might be able to fix it, but I wouldn't risk being the patient."
"Ok, you've got a deal, we can do it tonight when I go to sleep."
* * *
Note: "This was intended as a fic exploring what would happen if Mousse still
loved Shampoo, but didn't feel the overwhelming need to invade her personal
space. Shampoo would have to deal with a Mousse that was willing to ignore
her, and able to be mad at her behavior. Unfortunately I feel no desire to
continue it.
or
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat
or
Djinn and Tonic
After stopping a pitiful attempt to rob the Nekohanten, we find Mousse removing blood from his swan potty-trainer. While his Fist of the White Swan never had worked on Ranma, it was perfect for dealing with petty crooks. While rubbing the swan with a damp washcloth, a cloud of smoke started to emerge, and took the shape of a man's torso ending in a cloud of smoke.
The Djinn looked at Mousse and said "How the hell did you come up with the idea to attack with a potty-trainer?"
"It was in my family's collection of precious weapons."
"It was there because I was inside it. Not because it was a weapon. I was trapped in there by an ancestor of yours with what passes for a bizarre sense of humor. Personally I think she would have benefitted from psychotherapy."
"Is this going to be a case of revenge on the descendant?"
"No point to it. It's not a bad life in there. Gives you time to think. Plus I've been keeping up with the outside world by letters for years. I've even picked up a few college degrees by mail. Also had a chance to do some serious reading. You know what? Ninety percent of what you humans publish IS crap. But the other ten percent makes it worthwhile. I could have left any time in the last hundred years but it wasn't worth the effort."
"Oh, then I guess I can't expect 3 wishes for releasing you."
"Sorry. I decided to come out when you performed the requisite rubbing just to stretch my legs, so to speak. You wouldn't happen to have any Stilton, would you? I haven't had it in years."
"What's Stilton?"
"A type of cheese. Nevermind. It's not important. You have too much of something that I want, and I can do something that may get you what you want. At least it'll make your life a bit more pleasant. But being human, you'll probably refuse. I can give you perfect vision, and a set of exercises that take 10 minutes a day which will maintain your vision sharper than most people."
"And you want my soul?"
"Nope. Not my kink. Nasty things those disembodied souls are. An artist can make lovely things from them, but I don't have the tallent. Most raw souls make me sick to my stomach. No, I lost my emotions a few centuries ago, and I've grown tired of the overly analytical life. This emotionless `Live long and prosper' gets old real fast. I want to try `Be fruitful and multiply' again."
"You want my love of Shampoo? I'll never give her up!"
"No, no, no! I don't want to go through adolescense again, I want some of your ability to feel strong emotions. Not your particular emotions. And I can't take it all from you, just some of it. It will also keep you from loosing your head around Shampoo while you try to win her, and make the process less painful for you."
"You'd give me sight, and then take away my appreciation of Shampoo's beauty in exchange?"
"No. Doesn't work that way. Appreciation of beauty is an aspect of the intellectual mind. Emotions actually cloud your perceptions. This will keep you from running into her bonbori while you run toward her. As an added bonus, since your human, whatever I remove from you emotionally will grow back over time, while your vision could last a lifetime if you're careful. I guarantee my work to be free of initial defects, but I don't provide a warrantee if your vision is subsequently lost due to accident. Don't gouge out your eyes or stare at the sun at noon. I can also remove any current tendencies toward glaucoma, but future mutagens and virii could recause it anyway as you get older."
"But if I agree, I'll probably regret it. What will you do? turn me into a rabbit?"
"No. This is a straight deal. You need your retinas reattached to the back of your eyes, and the dead nerves replaced. The muscles controlling the shape and focus of the eye are also pretty weak, so we regenerate those too. Flush out the few bodily poisons that might eventually lead to complication, and correct a slight astigmatism in your left lens that no one noticed because of the severity of your other problems. While we're at it, I can change the color of your irises, if you like. Only other side effect I can imagine, is that you'll need to sleep for eight hours for your body to recover from the changes."
"Could you cure my Jhusenkyou curse too?"
"Sorry, that's water magic, my racial affinity is wind. That curse is a tangle of magic that I'd likely make worse through fiddling. It'd be like a doctor trying to fix a broken arm, when all he's learned to use was a chainsaw. I might be able to fix it, but I wouldn't risk being the patient."
"Ok, you've got a deal, we can do it tonight when I go to sleep."
* * *
Note: "This was intended as a fic exploring what would happen if Mousse still
loved Shampoo, but didn't feel the overwhelming need to invade her personal
space. Shampoo would have to deal with a Mousse that was willing to ignore
her, and able to be mad at her behavior. Unfortunately I feel no desire to
continue it.